Jack Monroe #145 Mamapapa, why is all the food brown?

[LennyBriscoe]

I just can’t with Jack anymore. There are two things that are big deals in my life that she’s lied about (or at least been economical with the truth) - alcoholism and autism. I had a feeling she might not have been entirely honest about her drinking but when Essex Girl hinted at it, it bloody annoyed me (annoyed at Jack, not EG). Alcoholism is a terrible illness (and sometimes it’s not that great after you stop drinking) and not something to be lied about on Twitter.

I feel the same way about autism. I guess if you’re going to lie about things then, like alcoholism, autism is so varied there’s not a gauge or a benchmark and anyone can say they have it and there’s no way of proving/disproving it. But it’s real for so many people and it really isn’t something to be joked or lied about either. I’ve mentioned it before, my SB has been diagnosed with autism and Global Development Delay. He’s 5 soon but he’s nowhere near 5 in his development. We have applied for a place in our area’s only SEND school but if he doesn’t get then he’ll be at mainstream school and I feel sick just thinking about that. I know from groups I’m in that so many children with ASN are at mainstream school when they shouldn’t be and it hurts my heart.

I got as far as her tweets about the teacher coming to her door. If I thought it was true, I’d be jealous. I would love to do all the things with my son she could do if she wanted. I’d feed him proper food, I’d read David Williams books with him and I 100% would not put embarrassing things about him on social media. “Be thankful for what you have. Your life is someone else’s fairytale” - saw that and thought of you Jack

 

[Flash123]

Would there be a chance the teacher is coming to the door for a welfare check? (Speculation, your honour)

 

[EllaEm87]

I wasn’t a huge fan of the spuds but I love it with loads of barley. We normally just had boiled potatoes in it.
I remember one of the first times we visited my partner’s parents and they had made soup for us to have for lunch. It had reduced down loads and was made with shin with loads of barley in it so really thick. I loved it. Then his parents arrived in and said I was meant to add water in to thin it out as I basically had a home made concentrated version.

The barley is the best bit. Jack could never.

 

[Silver Linings]

Also, sending to everyone here with ADHD and/or autism, and to those who are parents of “neurodiverse” kids.
I have so much to say, and wanted to add my own experience and two cents, but I don’t even know where to start, and just ended up making this instead!

View attachment 417538

(Michael Caine is forever ruined for me)

 

[Flash123]

@PoorPatrol and @Walkdengirl thanks for the advice rey carbonara last night. Fried it up at lunch time, the patties fell apart a little bit as I obviously hadn’t made it sloppy enough but it was delicious with tomato and avocado salad and I’m not dead. Unlike when jack suggests makes thrice cooked rice!

I would have taken a photo except I was such a greedy goblin I snaffled it down in one go.

 

[HarderFaster]

I just can’t with Jack anymore. There are two things that are big deals in my life that she’s lied about (or at least been economical with the truth) - alcoholism and autism. I had a feeling she might not have been entirely honest about her drinking but when Essex Girl hinted at it, it bloody annoyed me (annoyed at Jack, not EG). Alcoholism is a terrible illness (and sometimes it’s not that great after you stop drinking) and not something to be lied about on Twitter.

I feel the same way about autism. I guess if you’re going to lie about things then, like alcoholism, autism is so varied there’s not a gauge or a benchmark and anyone can say they have it and there’s no way of proving/disproving it. But it’s real for so many people and it really isn’t something to be joked or lied about either. I’ve mentioned it before, my SB has been diagnosed with autism and Global Development Delay. He’s 5 soon but he’s nowhere near 5 in his development. We have applied for a place in our area’s only SEND school but if he doesn’t get then he’ll be at mainstream school and I feel sick just thinking about that. I know from groups I’m in that so many children with ASN are at mainstream school when they shouldn’t be and it hurts my heart.

I got as far as her tweets about the teacher coming to her door. If I thought it was true, I’d be jealous. I would love to do all the things with my son she could do if she wanted. I’d feed him proper food, I’d read David Williams books with him and I 100% would not put embarrassing things about him on social media. “Be thankful for what you have. Your life is someone else’s fairytale” - saw that and thought of you Jack

Big hugs, Len.

She’s a tit.

 

[Duckypoo]

I've seen that chef from Brixham is putting together a free recipe guide for the half term food voucher again. He's even got receipts.

No eyelid sausages on the menu, no wonder ol'Grifty Pants is getting her lies on. Distract from her failings with made up tales of the wonderboy she grew.

 

[Walkdengirl]

Yeah, that’s what I meant by if they were concerned about SB’s welfare, though I suppose equally if they were concerned about Jack’s.

On second read of her tweet I wonder if she’s protesting too much about him being ahead, and he’d actually not submitted work for a couple of days which would likely trigger a check (at least where I am it would).

Same where I work

 

[Pixieboots]

View attachment 417726
(Michael Caine is forever ruined for me)

I briefly met Michael Caine in a work capacity once; did feel slightly ashamed of myself as I uploaded my userpic, but whatever, he'll never me.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Sorry if you’ve seen these already!

 

[Marj24]

What's 'ironic' for me is regardless of what inaccuracies, lies and deceit we find, this fast moving thread is feeding both JMs ego and victim persona. Can't stay away regardless

 

[Walkdengirl]

@PoorPatrol and @Walkdengirl thanks for the advice rey carbonara last night. Fried it up at lunch time, the patties fell apart a little bit as I obviously hadn’t made it sloppy enough but it was delicious with tomato and avocado salad and I’m not dead. Unlike when jack suggests makes thrice cooked rice!

I would have taken a photo except I was such a greedy goblin I snaffled it down in one go.

Sounds lovely

I just can’t with Jack anymore. There are two things that are big deals in my life that she’s lied about (or at least been economical with the truth) - alcoholism and autism. I had a feeling she might not have been entirely honest about her drinking but when Essex Girl hinted at it, it bloody annoyed me (annoyed at Jack, not EG). Alcoholism is a terrible illness (and sometimes it’s not that great after you stop drinking) and not something to be lied about on Twitter.

I feel the same way about autism. I guess if you’re going to lie about things then, like alcoholism, autism is so varied there’s not a gauge or a benchmark and anyone can say they have it and there’s no way of proving/disproving it. But it’s real for so many people and it really isn’t something to be joked or lied about either. I’ve mentioned it before, my SB has been diagnosed with autism and Global Development Delay. He’s 5 soon but he’s nowhere near 5 in his development. We have applied for a place in our area’s only SEND school but if he doesn’t get then he’ll be at mainstream school and I feel sick just thinking about that. I know from groups I’m in that so many children with ASN are at mainstream school when they shouldn’t be and it hurts my heart.

I got as far as her tweets about the teacher coming to her door. If I thought it was true, I’d be jealous. I would love to do all the things with my son she could do if she wanted. I’d feed him proper food, I’d read David Williams books with him and I 100% would not put embarrassing things about him on social media. “Be thankful for what you have. Your life is someone else’s fairytale” - saw that and thought of you Jack

Big tattle hugs for your, I hope he gets in where he needs to be

 

[PortiaControl]

I've been pondering the Ruby Rose thing for a while and was thinking about it again when everyone was sharing their favourite Jack lies a few threads back. Whilst it's not the funniest or most outrageous lie she's told the whole "I once stood in on set for Ruby Rose"* is probably one of my favourite examples of a Jack lie. I think it's because a lot of the lies she tells we don't have evidence of what actually happened. It could have been a long time ago or a private incident that she is retelling. We rightly presume that they are small truths that have been massively embellished. With this one we have the evidence of what actually happened. So "I once stood in for Ruby Rose on set" turns out, in truth, to be that Jack was actually a background artist in a pretty low key music video, which was set in a prison, loosely based on a television show that Ruby Rose starred in. It's just ridiculous how she managed to spin that out so much. And unashamedly tweet that when the evidence is available for all to see.

I've been doubting the origin story even more since Christmas. There are so many inconsistencies and things that just sound wrong. I don't believe anything she says. I think if you read everything she says through the "Ruby Rose lens" you start to get a clearer picture of how she can take something inconsequential and spin it out of all proportion.

*The tweet has long since been deleted so I can't find the exact wording she used but I'm pretty sure this was it. I think the tweet was linked into the threads rather than screenshot so can't find it now.

 

[Cookiecookie]

I’m sorry, we’ve talked about this before I know but I think it’s so awful that you’ve been misdiagnosed and are struggling like this. I sort of agree with the discomfort at rich parents (and people like Jack) being able to pay to have a super quick diagnosis, however I too fully understand why some people wish to go private, especially women.

I think it’s really interesting that you were told you weren’t hyperactive, because it’s such a weirdly gendered concept. When you think of a hyperactive child you think of a little boy at a birthday party running around and around in circles. I even remember on my form which I filled in when I got diagnosed there was a question “do you often get up out of your seat when you should remain seated” and I was like, what the duck, no?! Because I would have been smacked if I did that as a child. The metrics don’t seem to take into account that as women from a very early age obedience and stillness is much more highly prized and so what would become zooming around a room in boys is often leg jiggling, or hair twiddling, or nail biting.

My mum, pre-breakdown and financial catastrophe, was an SEN teacher. I’m convinced she has ADHD, and when I told her I had been referred she was incredulous, but when she had to fill in a form about my childhood she was shocked that everything except being disobedient/out of seat fitted me exactly. Even supposed specialists often only have very fixed notions of what neurodiversity looks like.

I really hope that one day you can get a second - and better - opinion.

It is an incredibly gendered process I've found, and so depends a lot on how up to date a practitioner is. You get some (in any profession tbh) who have just done the same thing forever, and you get others who are happy to continue learning so are more aware of the differences girls and boys tend to show.

 

[ComeForTheX StayForTheY]

Evening Cabal
Pythagoras? Completed it.
Now duck off x

 

[traumatised sideboard]

@LennyBriscoe the 'be thankful for what you have' quote is exactly what I have been trying to articulate. She's so hellbent on having the most SEVERE forms of every possible ailment that she's completely taking for granted the health she does have. I truly do not understand why she (and many other people who self-diagnose) are positively gleeful in declaring themselves autistic. As I said a bit earlier, I went for a private assessment; I wanted them to disagree with the first assessment and say that I wasn't autistic. I would be classed as 'high-functioning' yet there are many other things that I am either unable to do or need support to do that Jack has no problem doing. That is why I find her LARPing as '99% classic autism' extremely distasteful. It's not something pervasive that she's had to struggle with her whole life like other people and their family members do here, she's just picking it up and putting it down as she sees fit and she needs to appreciate that she is able to do that. More importantly, she then needs to have the sense to bleeping stop. Sorry for talking about myself all the time, mods we need an eye roll reaction that I can apply to my own posts please.

@Sideboard Bob if you don't buy oldchiefquotes.coven.de I'm going to riot. Do you want me to end up in onion prison?

I tried triangulating (with Pythagoras mate) that hideous leather jacket and couldn't find the exact one but I did find one in white, 'gently used' for $215. Ah yes, there is truly nothing that embodies the punk or heavy metal spirit more than paying a couple of hundred quid for a leather jacket from a designer company. Wow, Jack, many DIY, so anti-establishment, much iconoclasm

 

[hydeist]

Oh my word my mum used to put a lump of mash in my NI veg soup () when I was young and I HATED IT. Still make the soup now (get soup veggies sent over as I moved / ?am an immigrant) but no thanks to that lump of sloppy watery mash!

I also have LEFT () and have to buy my soup vegetables separate and chop them up like some kind of animal instead of just buying a bag of them done already. I actually just make shitey insta-mash for mine because it's not like it matters when it's in a soup

The barley is the best bit. Jack could never.

This actually reminds me that at some point back in these threads (maybe during a letdown larder?) Jack didn't know what to do with a packet of the dried soup mix you use in this soup.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I can't stop thinking about her "out of office" comment this morning and have been trying to imagine what her automated responses might actually look like. Depending on the moon phase I can see it going three ways:

1. I am BUSY and won't be able to respond to your email immediately as I have a book deadline, am homeschooling my child, dealing with relentless attacks from a vicious group of mendacious persecutors, and my assistant is still furloughed. Hope that's OK with you? Have a nice day!


2. I am out of the office until further notice. Emails will not be read in my absence, or otherwise. If your query relates to paid work or a new Patreon enquiry, DM me on Twitter. For all other enquiries, duck OFF x


3. Your email has been received but will not be read until I'm in a better headspace. If you haven't received an item you've ordered or any Patreon rewards you may have been expecting, please contact your local Post Office as I've had a lot of trouble with deliveries recently and I don't have time to look into missing items myself. Please do not post any negative comments on my public socials as I'm feeling very fragile at the moment. Thankyou.

 

[Monochrome Muse]

Maybe "Pythagarous theory" is the new scent from Penhaligons

Stoppit, this will only lead to a whole new niche line on Patreon; "The Fragrant Fridge", eau de bacon(vegan and otherwise), notes of anchovy, essence of egg etc... duck it, off to patent this quick like 🤍
duck off x

 

[holliebollie]

What is it they say? You meet one person with autism... you’ve met one person with autism.

Jack is not #actuallyautistic. I don’t believe she has ADHD but she is like many scatterbrained people trying to get by in a busy world: a procrastinator, tit with budgeting, hard to focus, makes rash decisions, can’t stick to one thing for long. That’s me too, but I get my work done, or face being sacked and going back on universal credit.

They are both used purely as excuses. Autistic: I can be a rude twunt. ADHD: You won’t be getting your 50 Shades of Slop.