Jack Monroe #145 Mamapapa, why is all the food brown?

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @GoLando for the thread title! your prize: you get to taste test Jack’s tinned mandarin dish.

Did she submit her book? it’s a mystery.

Some old Diva articles about Jack were shared by @discolisa

It was a tense race, but mandarins took the lead in her hot poll.

SB came out worse in the lunch off.

New to Jack? Check out the wiki in the pink tag.

 

[blurstoftimes]

adding this here so we never forget about the scruffy little oik blithely quoting international birth rate statistics on the 8.03 train from southend to london

 

[Duckypoo]

On a mini grunk but did anyone else grow up with tinned mandarins on the top of a Greens' packet mix cheesecake?? Nectar of the gods.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Cabal, I think Vlad wants us to keep searching for Caroline. That being said, we can't see Cala Caroline's hands.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

On a mini grunk but did anyone else grow up with tinned mandarins on the top of a Greens' packet mix cheesecake?? Nectar of the gods.

Oh my god. Greens packet cheesecake is the one. Chef's kiss

As for Jack being mostly vegan, who the feck does she think she's kidding? She's eaten more eggs in the past few months than I've ever eaten in my entire life.

 

[PhilHardingsHat]

On a mini grunk but did anyone else grow up with tinned mandarins on the top of a Greens' packet mix cheesecake?? Nectar of the gods.

No, but.. my dad, who wasn't a top tier fireman, used to buy fruit cocktail in tins and he'd serve it with carnation cream and even now, 30odd years later, it still turns my stomach thinking about it.

I expected it in tin can cook, but it's not there surprisingly...

"1 can of fruit cocktail"
"Stick it on a plate"
"Done"

 

[BlendedSlop]

adding this here so we never forget about the scruffy little oik blithely quoting international birth rate statistics on the 8.03 train from southend to london

View attachment 416162

Instantly achieved a permanent spot on my "Top 10 Jack anecdotes" list. I also noticed that in the same article, before recounting the conversation that definitely happened between her and 5 year old SB, she says she hadn't "made half an attempt to wash." I don't care how BUSY you are in the morning, if you subject unwilling passengers on a packed commuter train - or anyone else, for that matter - to the waft of your unwashed bits, there's a special place reserved for you in hell.

 

[_blank_]

Oh my god. Greens packet cheesecake is the one. Chef's kiss

As for Jack being mostly vegan, who the feck does she think she's kidding? She's eaten more eggs in the past few months than I've ever eaten in my entire life.

Notable absence of all the gifted fish that she put into tiny, expensive reusable silicone bags. Maybe it will be cooked in the rusty tin gently in its own juices.

 

[EllaEm87]

Oh my god. Greens packet cheesecake is the one. Chef's kiss

As for Jack being mostly vegan, who the feck does she think she's kidding? She's eaten more eggs in the past few months than I've ever eaten in my entire life.

Ahh but the eggs are rubber. For decorative purposes only! Hidden away in the big tacky chicken.

 

[hollowhusk]

Monroe only got her diagnosis of autism a few years’ back, prompted by her inability to learn to drive, roundabouts and junctions being a particular hazard. “I just freeze, like a blackout. It happens in other areas of my life too,” she says. “So the doctor tested me and said I have 99 per cent of the qualities of classic autism and there are ADHD qualities to it. But what do you do about it? I just say ‘I’m autistic, that means I’m a bit odd – not all autistic people are odd – but I’m a bit socially awkward, not very good at feelings. But I’m a fantastic cook, so come over and let me cook for you but don’t try and talk to me too much about how your day is going.’”

from the Scotsman article quoted on the last thread.

Lies, lies, lies.

duck off you lying idiot.

So you first claim a magic educational psychiatrist turns up at your house when you were 12 and diagnoses you and your parents hide it from you and then this bleeping bullshit.

What Dr tested you? Please tell me what the 99% qualities of autism you have, and the 1% you don't have? She has not mentioned SEVERE autism yet but this 99% bullshit hints at it.

When did the ADHD diagnosis appear? That article is from early 2019.

The stereotype of being a bit socially awkward in there, funny how you manage to go to Glasto which would be a sensory nightmare for almost all autistic people. Loads of non autistic people are a bit socially awkward.

And what the duck have roundabouts got to do with it? I don't remember roundabouts and driving being on the diagnostic tests I actually took, I've not heard one other autistic person talk bullshit about roundabouts.I'm taking my non autistic daughter out for practice drives right now, and guess what? She doesn't like roundabouts because they are hard for a learner driver.

Stop damaging the work people have done to help autistic girls and woman be recognised with your bullshit.

 

[Misbehaving]

Sorry but why has everything got to do with privilege as far as she is concerned? (probably showing yet again her own subconscious aspirations/bias?)
Jack if you ask me (sorry if you didn't) really covets a position amongst the powerful (seen as how good food is only for the privileged in her mind because only they can afford it or are educated enough to eat well not true but anyway she has to believe that to jusify her own preachiness) Also so she can have a pretext with which enlighten us all with such pearls of wisdom as...

Access to fresh fruit and vegetables and the means with which to buy them is a privilege?

I don't know about you but i've never debated with myself about mmm the price of a punnet of strawberries or buying a cauliflower mmm economical dilemma there..hmm but what can i eat?
Can i really afford a bag of potatoes?
Shall i splurge and go mad and buy a pineapple?
Go on girl get with it get with the programne i tell myself after all you only have one life and you've already bought the frozen pizzas and low cost chicken thighs (joke but you know according to jackie as a poor thats my first port of call battery caged and factory farmed meat? ) ..can i really be that extravagant and buy some lettuce to go with it?
After all it is 50p and the kids are waiting...psst must buy them the crisps they covet or even frozen burgers (actually my kids do eat junk food sometimes shock horror but they also eat a wide variety of healthier food to balance it out same as most kids as far as i'm aware?) but stil can i stretch myself to buy that cucumber??
I am indeed blessed i can afford satsumas (not out of a tin) no babe i'm living it large if i'm feeling really adventurous i might even make my own coleslaw...stop the world...

Also when people make a choice to be vegan why is that also a privilege?
Isn't that a bit of an arrogant statement?
Don't we all make choices every day about what to eat and put in our mouths?
My dad was a bus driver on a low income and was a vegetarian because he didn't want to eat meat that doesn't make him elitist?
As if only the enlightened few were capable of making healthy or ethical choices?
Again way to go jack with the moral superiority?
Is she really that small minded?
I know plenty of people who are not rich or privileged doing exactly the same thing?
Shopping with care and consideration because they like to cook and enjoy it?
Also there is an abundence of fresh produce at low prices especially at market stalls and gasp shock horror you might even see some not very well off people there?
Not counting every last penny and crying into their wallets but because they like to buy fresh good quality food at low prices same goes for our local butcher and fishmonger?
I'm lucky to live close to smithfiels market and its not fancy in the least a diverse range of people shop there always have done always will?
I think the real poverty jack has is in her view of life and people in general?

Oh and the last quote thats got to take the biscuit...
Food educator Jackie of the furrowed brow is worried because despite all her efforts... the (poor) people decided not to heed her words of wisdom how ungrateful!

My recipes were aimed primarily at people
living in or on the margins of poverty most of whom are omnivores despite my best efforts?

Oh dear Jack better wring your hands and despair some people just don't know how to be lectured to isn't that right?
Even when you try to show them the error of their ways hmm
Still not to worry you still have many books (money stream of income) to churn out to try and correct that?
So patience and godspeed

 

[HotesTilaire]

Yes, she is that small minded.
She lives in the 1850’s 1950’s, where a lady bride with tattoos would only be slightly less bizarre than an unmarried mother. Queen Vic dosn't believe in lesbians and the Onion police enforce strict gender roles.
Our plucky urchin is condemned to live in a crappy bungalow prison by the sea, forced to write on Twitter day in day out to keep her in crinolines and breeches.
She was in service, once, but the old master didn’t like to see maids in traaazzzers and she was cruelly cast out on the steps of a lady millionairess who took her in for a while.
Now she survives on the goodwill of strangers who gift her fish and cash, hoping to keep her away from some awful “Cathy come home” fate.

 

[ScamSandwich]

Gruuuunka done, but once I wake up
, I will have to do another one.
While I was grunkaing the Frauen have outdone themselves once again, reaching new highs of creativity that I felt could not be topped but then slopbot gave a singing debut @traumatised sideboard and I listened to it in the middle of the night and the next morning I was convinced Jack had sent me some radiator mushrooms as a Patreon gift I have not signed up for.

Excellent work, I am truly in awe and hooting at the same time.
@Misbehaving joined as a new poet and will be writing on Tattle from her room at the Villa Massimo where she receives a scholarship
@MancBee self-diagnosed as a cultured (honorary Frau) lesbian according to an accurate Reddit test...we did not need the test, we knew it anyway.

A tea Frau has given us such an amazing insight...I can't wait for more.

I was seriously pissed off and hurt that Diva mag did not nominate me as a leading lesbian but then I checked the date and smiled because by then I had already LEFT the UK, so I could not have been counted in.

 

[Cookiecookie]

On a mini grunk but did anyone else grow up with tinned mandarins on the top of a Greens' packet mix cheesecake?? Nectar of the gods.

Yes! Along with shredded wheat 'Easter nests', they're one of my earliest kitchen memories of being allowed to help. They felt very fancy to tiny me.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Yes! Along with shredded wheat 'Easter nests', they're one of my earliest kitchen memories of being allowed to help. They felt very fancy to tiny me.

I still make these every Easter, now with my kids. Some things are pure joy and that is one

 

[Wobblehead]

On a mini grunk but did anyone else grow up with tinned mandarins on the top of a Greens' packet mix cheesecake?? Nectar of the gods.

We used to put tinned mandarins on a pre made sponge flan base and then add Quick Jel !

 

[Captainmouse]

Not sure where this will land, but in previous thread @Misbehaving said

She should bring out a diet book?
Recipes to put you off eating!!

but she already has, every book she has written puts you off food

 

[Malibubarbie88]

After reading some of the diva articles I have come to the conclusion that I would be a terrible person to be famous. Like to keep ny private life private. Only use Facebook to keep overseas family utd but most disappointingly, I often say "I don't think I understand enough about it to really contribute"... Trans issues /terf for example, I try to empathise with both sides and tbh can see that fear and ignorance drives a lot it but still, no expert at all. Ditto northern Ireland /border issues. Israel/palestine.... Some huge issues are mega complex, So I try to listen and understand but tend to keep my opinions to myself lest I accidentally offend or upset. But nope, if you are JM just hoik up your trousers (traaaazzzzzers) photograph every part of your life, bash it online and then wade in with uninformed opinions on everything. Literally everything.

Regarding the "pile on" over JO, DW etc and her expert #forensic analysis, she should heed my favourite saying: "I beseech you, by the bowels of Christ, consider that you might be mistaken".

 

[Vanelope]

We used to put tinned mandarins on a pre made sponge flan base and then add Quick Jel !

We did too

 

[Adayinthelife]

Monroe only got her diagnosis of autism a few years’ back, prompted by her inability to learn to drive, roundabouts and junctions being a particular hazard. “I just freeze, like a blackout. It happens in other areas of my life too,” she says. “So the doctor tested me and said I have 99 per cent of the qualities of classic autism and there are ADHD qualities to it. But what do you do about it? I just say ‘I’m autistic, that means I’m a bit odd – not all autistic people are odd – but I’m a bit socially awkward, not very good at feelings. But I’m a fantastic cook, so come over and let me cook for you but don’t try and talk to me too much about how your day is going.’”

from the Scotsman article quoted on the last thread.

Lies, lies, lies.

duck off you lying idiot.

So you first claim a magic educational psychiatrist turns up at your house when you were 12 and diagnoses you and your parents hide it from you and then this bleeping bullshit.

What Dr tested you? Please tell me what the 99% qualities of autism you have, and the 1% you don't have? She has not mentioned SEVERE autism yet but this 99% bullshit hints at it.

When did the ADHD diagnosis appear? That article is from early 2019.

The stereotype of being a bit socially awkward in there, funny how you manage to go to Glasto which would be a sensory nightmare for almost all autistic people. Loads of non autistic people are a bit socially awkward.

And what the duck have roundabouts got to do with it? I don't remember roundabouts and driving being on the diagnostic tests I actually took, I've not heard one other autistic person talk bullshit about roundabouts.I'm taking my non autistic daughter out for practice drives right now, and guess what? She doesn't like roundabouts because they are hard for a learner driver.

Stop damaging the work people have done to help autistic girls and woman be recognised with your bullshit.

As parent of someone ACTUALLY AUTISTIC, her performative bullshit really pisses me off. I mean, I do have an issue generally with self-diagnosis and wearing a label like a badge of honour, but JM can just absolutely get to duck with her ‘99% classical autism’. It’s even more bollocks than being 90% vegan