Jack Monroe #144 The man from Strictly, he say No

[Adayinthelife]

Has she submitted her book yet?

 

[Nebbymoo]

I read somewhere that Jack chose that name because she was a "Jack of all trades".

What she fails to add is the rest of that quote is "master of none" from an old English poem. From John Gower's poem Confessio Amantis. It describes a person that is multi-skilled but lower than average proficiency at all of them.

Never was a name more apt.

Jack of all trades, master of slop
Next thread title ?

 

[queenfeline]

That’s what I’m saying. Whenever she uses her son for the old ‘Misty eyed rhetoric’, she neglects to mention that she moved in with someone after FOUR bleeping DAYS. Took him far from his dad, gave him a new sister and new caregiver without a moment’s notice. I will never get over how abominably foolish and irresponsible that was. She never owns ul to it either, never says she regrets putting her son in that position, it’s always about her and the whole ‘she left’ narrative. Whenever anyone tries to be kind on here and says that she’s probably a great mum, I struggle to agree. I’d like to think so for his sake, but having a lazy, narcissistic fantasist for a mum must be so hard on him.

It also boggles the mind when it's clear SB has a loving father who clearly would have stepped up back then as he has now. So many kids don't have that and it feels like Jack either wants to ignore it or minimize it so it seems that they are going alone at this.

Partly why I hate the phrase single mum for situations like these - it's true you are single and are a mum, but that's a very specific phrase usually used to describe mums who don't have a coparent and have their kid all the time. That's a completely different set of challenges to when you split custody.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

She made such a fuss of deadline day approaching when she posted all those photos on Twitter, but then deadline day arrives and she doesn't even mention it

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

Frauen apologies now cos I dunno where this will land, I’ve had home schooling/uni work 27 hours a day and have been trying to catch up for YEARS. Currently I’m reading Saturday night, someone called Essexgirl has spilled some slow cooker stewed tea claims, someone’s analysing how a shadow in Jack’s kitchen would be cast if she was taking pics for a vegan sock puppet Insta account (so far so cabal as usual) and THEN I listened to SlopBot sing about uuunyuns and I almost did a bit of a laugh wee. I don’t see how it could get any better than this but the threads are fairly rocketing along so I’m assuming further chaos ensues. duck sake tho can’t even skip a thread cos the recaps currently do not clue me in, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO READ IT ALL

 

[DinosaurSenior]

The world is a v different place now, but are kids really at the cutting edge of gender politics? Would they know to use a slur like that...?

I remember “finding out” that Hayley from Corrie was transgender as a kid, it didn’t make sense and I couldn’t understand it but it wasn’t something we ever thought of cos it is such an abstract concept to a child?? Tbh I was always a lil scared of Roy

A friend of mine knows the actor who plays Roy and says he's such a lovely man with a brilliant sense of humour.

I love it when someone I like on TV is nice in real life!

I agree, though, that when he was first on Corrie as Deirdre's weird neighbour when she moved in to a flat, he was indeed very creepy!

I think I watch too much TV.....

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

One of the first....

 

[DandyLion]

I’m sorry for this shameless schadenfreude but I’m really pleased that Jack wasted a whole day that she could have been writing her crappy book to film the Linda Mc horse-testicle-on-mush recipe that they can’t even use because the vegans dislike her so much.

But did she though? Did she really?
Just because Jack said it happened, doesn’t necessarily mean that it did happen in RL. I think she just set it up, took some photos to post on Twitter, decided she deserved a “break” and never went back to it, if indeed, she ever intended to in the first place. Put on a good show for the Squigs, bank it for future sympathy/tip jar rattling, but actually go through with it - I seriously doubt it.

 

[PhilHardingsHat]

This thread moves too quick. Shows how much Jack tit is going on.

 

[Mr Krabs]

My friend’s wife, who exhibits the same traits as Jack, does this. I’ve witnessed her fabricate entire stories about people being rude to her about being ‘queer/non binary’* when I have been with her at the time, and no such thing happened. Just blatant lying for attention. I’m dying to tell her that she is fairly ordinary, and not really edgy or worthy of comment. Most people literally couldn’t give a tit about random folk looking even slightly ‘different’.

Her other is to claim someone fancied her rotten and was flirting wildly with her (again, everyone else in her company at the time must have missed this).

*in quotations because she is in hetrosexual marriage and has never had a same sex relationship. Her NB status appears to relate to having a short ish haircut and liking to wear trousers sometimes. I’m not kidding.

Until you said about the short hair, I swore you were talking about someone I know. In a hetero marriage for years, has a kid, turned 35 and dyed their hair pink and started insisting on they/them pronouns. Spends all their time posting to Facebook about micro-aggressions towards them and how gender is blahblahblah. bleeping hell they're boring. They live in a very liberal area too, so it's not like you'd even look twice at them walking down the street.

I don't know to what extent JM is even considered non-binary nowadays. She seems to be OK with being called a she, doesn't seem to have altered their appearance in anyway. It just seems a way to rack up the diversity points and score a parenting column instead of giving it to someone with an actual interesting perspective.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

One of the first....

I hate to break it to you, Jack, but I am heavily tattooed and got married in 2014. Sigh (I cry).

Sorry for ploughing your furrow

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She made such a fuss of deadline day approaching when she posted all those photos on Twitter, but then deadline day arrives and she doesn't even mention it

She does this every time she has a deadline! Non stop shite about how BUSY she is and how she has "work to do", then poof, never mentioned ever again. And not one squiggle will ever ask. On to the next thing we go

 

[girolle]

She does this every time she has a deadline! Non stop shite about how BUSY she is and how she has "work to do", then poof, never mentioned ever again. And not one squiggle will ever ask. On to the next thing we go

I think that's indicative of producing rubbish work, tbh. Churn out any old content for the deadline and then brush it under the carpet ready for the next task. Rinse and repeat.

 

[LexiLu]

I read the MN thread where Jack did the Q&A

The mamapapa thing was short lived and inspired by a book apparently

 

[Limey]

Until you said about the short hair, I swore you were talking about someone I know. In a hetero marriage for years, has a kid, turned 35 and dyed their hair pink and started insisting on they/them pronouns. Spends all their time posting to Facebook about micro-aggressions towards them and how gender is blahblahblah. bleeping hell they're boring. They live in a very liberal area too, so it's not like you'd even look twice at them walking down the street.

I don't know to what extent JM is even considered non-binary nowadays. She seems to be OK with being called a she, doesn't seem to have altered their appearance in anyway. It just seems a way to rack up the diversity points and score a parenting column instead of giving it to someone with an actual interesting perspective.

No, this woman is very different. She’s dyed her hair blue.

And yes, she lives in a large city, with multiple universities and a thriving arts and music scene. Very liberal. You would literally never give her a second glance, she doesn’t stand out at all. She seems to be trying to overcompensate for basically being a middle class housewife.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

We wait.
We cry.
We wait.
We sigh.
We wait.
For books to buy.
We wait.
We cry.
We wait.
We die.

 

[Cunderthunt]

Diva mark 2

In the 5th attached page, in the middle column, 2nd paragraph from the bottom (unfortunately the attachments aren't quoting in this post). Jack says that due to her book deal, she was able to put down a deposit on a beautiful flat in Southend, just before she moved in with Allegra. She decided to move in with her instead.

So, for 7 whole years, Jack has actually had the means to buy a Forever Home.

 

[Misbehaving]

Sad animals
They die
I cry
Lady Die?
No, magpie die
Poor magpie
WHY?

Quoth the raven nevermore?
no manuscript?
I cry?
Why do i try?
poor jackie
She cries
It isn't me
Its my ears
poor magpie?
i do or die (trying)
This frugal life
its mine all mine
why deadline
why
i cry
poor magpie
finds a clue
in muddy puddles
i find
all sorts
its mine all mine
i never say die
lady di?
But tis i
the poverty
princess
magic
on the floor
quoth the raven
nevermore?

Nevermore shall i
dwell amongst the heathen
twitter mob
nor trolls
forsake
this tattle life
as i poor jack
of all trades
master of none
despair
at my hair brained
scheme
to write
a book
that no one wants
shall my effort
be lost
Quoth the raven
get a job

This no good
i haven't got
any talent
i cried
whats a poor
Jack to do
this book
won't write itself
you know
ask dear
allan edgar poe
he managed
twas a genius
i knew
qouth the raven
haven't got a clue

Then darkness came
i was still the same
it never mattered
anyway?
Poor magpie
he fly
right up to the sky
but i can't
orville dies
i cried
keith harris
too
poor me
poor you
quoth the raven
shut up now

so i go
now
i believe
i can
touch the sky
every night
and
any day
i spread my
wings
and fly away....
i can fly i can fly
as icarus
flied
so can i
too close
to the sun
with burnt wings
but i tried
how i cried
i die
lady di
i died
black swan
tis me
jackie
magpie
fried
but not forgotten
i made
another
sandwhich
short
of a picnic
for 20 p
lucky me
corned beef
and spam
mmmmm
taste
of my childhood
back to the end
where it
all began
dear friends
adieu
pie jesu

the end?

Sorry Boyo for the plagiarism/inspiration?.
What can i say except it came to me as if in a magpie inspired dream/nightmare?
Either that or its the red wine or mercury in retrograde?
Hmmm

 

[KebabGirl]

I am so impressed by the breadth of knowledge and the range of careers of the people on these threads. There are members of all walks of life contributing here.

Jack Monroe could only dream of having such interesting and influential employment.

Thanks to all of you Frauen und Männer for all the knowledge I am gaining here. You're never too old to learn. I have had many of my beliefs and ideas challenged and changed. You are an amazing bunch of ninnies.

Was going to post similar when I'd finally caught up. Yet again, you sum things up more concisely than I would.

Everyone seems to have far more interesting lives than Jack, and far more experiences. The diversity of backgrounds is amazing. You are all brilliant Fraus.

Back on topic. I hope our titular character is not too frasmotic today

 

[HarderFaster]

I hate to break it to you, Jack, but I am heavily tattooed and got married in 2014. Sigh (I cry).

Sorry for ploughing your furrow

She’ll have to make you a cake, now.