There's also the line 'the Essex commuters looked down at this unmarried wench'. She really is in her own personal soap opera set in a small town in the 1950s , isn't she.
Jack Monroe #144 The man from Strictly, he say No
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How did they know she was unmarried?
Did we really only get one mention of The Earache today? It's like even she realised after the fact what a crappy, low-effort excuse it was. Probably still didn't stop her trying to wangle another deadline extension with it though.
My favourite part of the whole thing is her apparently giving SB that extended Wikipedia entry explanation on UNICEF statistics...when he was 5.
The line about reeling off some bullshit stats like people around her are surprised rather than bored is especially hilarious. She really thinks she's the subject of so much wonder doesn't she?
The only thing I wonder is how she can sleep at night.
The only thing I wonder is how she can sleep at night.
I want to know what time she handed the book in today lol
Today isn't over yet!
Thanks for the uploads @discolisa!
This was one bit that stood out to me, what a crappy thing to say about your sister. I’d be gutted if a sibling told a magazine that my marriage fell apart.
This was one bit that stood out to me, what a crappy thing to say about your sister. I’d be gutted if a sibling told a magazine that my marriage fell apart.
Sorry for all the “kickyball” references, but I just can’t get over the fact that Jack’s deadline day has fallen on the Premier League Transfer Deadline Day. @Jumpingbeansterrapin I don’t think she’s handed it in yet.
I can just picture a live reporter outside the crappy bungalow, updating Jim White back in the studio. At the very last minute, 22:59, Rosemary the long suffering agent pulls up in a car, as Jack scampers down the driveway, post-its flying everywhere, to hand over the manuscript. Back in the studio, Jim White is losing his tit while Big Ben chimes in the background.
I can just picture a live reporter outside the crappy bungalow, updating Jim White back in the studio. At the very last minute, 22:59, Rosemary the long suffering agent pulls up in a car, as Jack scampers down the driveway, post-its flying everywhere, to hand over the manuscript. Back in the studio, Jim White is losing his tit while Big Ben chimes in the background.
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In the transparenting article, Jack is unusually critical of SB's father, and imagines saying "Daddy has a lot to bleeping answer for" in response to her son saying that he told him that babies are made when a mummy and daddy love each other very much. How dare he explain basic biology in an age appropriate way to his son
At the end of the article, she's proud of her son for being in a fight and whacking a boy in the face, protecting her honour after the other boy allegedly called his mum a ******. Brilliant parenting there - if true. Encouraging your 6 year old to engage in physical fights.In "Mama, why do you want to be a boy?" they are discussing SB being picked on by his classmates due to Jack wanting to be a boy. After SB repeats the mantra that (content warning) if anyone tries to touch his willy or bum, he should tell them loudly to stop and tell an adult, Jack responds "Exactly. So... it's a bit weird that Shannon and Cam are interested in your mama's privates." It's unbelievable that Jack is comparing the innocent questions of 5/6 year olds on a very confusing subject, to them being inappropriately sexually interested in her genitalia. It's absolutely not on. How dare she suggest that to her son? How dare the editors let this through?
In "
"Say my name" is a manipulative load of tit. The entire thing is about her dead name, and her family not loving her enough to call her by her new name. There is a lot of extreme emotional guff, wallowing in victimhood about not always getting called Jack, and acting as if her name change is entirely related to her trans identity. She involves her son in the victimhood, and they both burst into tears after he calls her Melissa as an insult. The truth is this entire article is bullshit. Jack changed her name long before she became non-binary, and did so because she wanted to change her surname to Monroe, due to alleged racism, and didn't want an alliterative first name. She has recently said that she regrets her name change every day. Also noted in the article is her description of Mediterranean hips.
Can't be arsed to review the others!
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Thanks for these reviews @Cunderthunt. I couldn't be arsed reading the articles myself so appreciate it 
Brilliant! Thankspaceyou. I uploaded them but did not read one word as simply could not face it!In the transparenting article, Jack is unusually critical of SB's father, and imagines saying "Daddy has a lot to bleeping answer for" in response to her son saying that he told him that babies are made when a mummy and daddy love each other very much. How dare he explain basic biology in an age appropriate way to his son
In "Mama, why do you want to be a boy?" they are discussing SB being picked on by his classmates due to Jack wanting to be a boy. After SB repeats the mantra that (content warning) if anyone tries to touch his willy or bum, he should tell them loudly to stop and tell an adult, Jack responds "Exactly. So... it's a bit weird that Shannon and Cam are interested in your mama's privates." It's unbelievable that Jack is comparing the innocent questions of 5/6 years on a very confusing subject, to them being inappropriately sexually interested in her genitalia. It's absolutely not on. How dare she suggest that to her son? How dare the editors let this through?
In "Chickenvegetable soup for the soul", Jack has begun cosplaying as a vegan who is depriving her young son. There is an unrealistic exchange with SB saying "When I was poorly before, you always made me chicken soup, but now you don't eat animals and I don't want to make you sad. But chicken soup always made my poorly better". So SB is mature enough to think what he eats might make his mum sad, and care about that despite being an ailing 6 year old, but still young enough to say made my poorly better. Also he's compassionate enough to give a tit about his mum's precious feelings about what he eats, but not a thought for the animals, which he fully acknowledges as the source of his meat. I don't think any of this exchange happened, she just wants to make herself look like a vegan, and he son look like a super-caring mummy's boy.
"Say my name" is a manipulative load of tit. The entire thing is about her dead name, and her family not loving her enough to call her by her new name. There is a lot of extreme emotional guff, wallowing in victimhood about not always getting called Jack, and acting as if her name change is entirely related to her trans identity. She involves her son in the victimhood, and they both burst into tears after he calls her Melissa as an insult. The truth is this entire article is bullshit. Jack changed her name long before she became non-binary, and did so because she wanted to change her surname to Monroe, due to alleged racism, and didn't want an alliterative first name. She has recently said that she regrets her name change every day. Also noted in the article is her description of Mediterranean hips.
Can't be arsed to review the others!
I was expecting all those columns to end with 'and then everyone clapped'. Absolutely preposterous. Calling a vagina a 'fan-fan' ought to be an imprisonable offence. Where are the onion police?
I know it's very dangerous territory to get into gender and sexuality discussions here so I only want to touch on it but just because someone is currently in (and has only ever been in) a heterosexual relationship doesn't preclude being bi/pansexual or non-binary. I don't think that should be used as a validation of someone's sexuality. Additionally, I honestly do believe that a child would know and use the word '******'. Sorry to me-rail but from about age 8 I had other children at school (younger ones too) calling me transphobic slurs, including ****** and boy-girl (a phrase Jack uses in one of her Diva articles which doesn't sit right with me) just because I had a short haircut and liked 'boy stuff'
Kids can be extremely brutal and ignorant.
I know it's very dangerous territory to get into gender and sexuality discussions here so I only want to touch on it but just because someone is currently in (and has only ever been in) a heterosexual relationship doesn't preclude being bi/pansexual or non-binary. I don't think that should be used as a validation of someone's sexuality. Additionally, I honestly do believe that a child would know and use the word '******'. Sorry to me-rail but from about age 8 I had other children at school (younger ones too) calling me transphobic slurs, including ****** and boy-girl (a phrase Jack uses in one of her Diva articles which doesn't sit right with me) just because I had a short haircut and liked 'boy stuff'
Kids can be extremely brutal and ignorant.You're both welcome, thanks for posting them @discolisa.
The columns are nothing short of insane. When you review them it's hard to know where to start because there's just so much batshittery. The second last one was some kind of disjointed rambling, about learning the meaning of ghosting, to cancelling her hairdressers appointment because she doesn't want to talk about being trans, to all the materials she's giving to all the staff at her son's new school about her being trans.
The last article is a description of her son's bad and annoying behaviour. Immortalised for all to see on twitter, apparently, and Diva magazine. Goes against her previous descriptions of him as a supernaturally caring, sweet and mature mummy's boy. Now he's back to being a normal annoying as duck 6 year old.
The columns are nothing short of insane. When you review them it's hard to know where to start because there's just so much batshittery. The second last one was some kind of disjointed rambling, about learning the meaning of ghosting, to cancelling her hairdressers appointment because she doesn't want to talk about being trans, to all the materials she's giving to all the staff at her son's new school about her being trans.
The last article is a description of her son's bad and annoying behaviour. Immortalised for all to see on twitter, apparently, and Diva magazine. Goes against her previous descriptions of him as a supernaturally caring, sweet and mature mummy's boy. Now he's back to being a normal annoying as duck 6 year old.
It's ok, that is things that never happened.
If that actually happened (it didn’t) i would love to have been in the staff room afterwards, because school staff wouldn’t know anything about this because it was a ‘catholic school’.
They’re not nuns in the 1950s.
She is so keen to tick every diversity box possible. She reminds me of a woman I used to work with who tried so hard to be different it was painful. She also had a bullshit ‘origin story’. The CEO at the charity we worked at loved her because she was so ‘different’ with her bright coloured hair, motorbike and wife who she constantly referred to as ‘my wife’ instead of by her name so everybody knew she was a lesbian. When she did no work she got away with it for ages because she knew how to charm the CEO who kept saying but she has a great story, she was homeless as a teenager. What she actually did was move into a young persons housing project for a short while when she was a teenager before her parents gave her a deposit to buy a flat and she was a homeowner in her early 20s. She was always very disparaging about ‘my wife’ and painted her as a pathetic character who was barely able to function without her as she was so crippled by anxiety. Funny when ‘my wife’ turned up to the Xmas do she was funny, engaging, confident and the life and soul with no sign of any issues. The poor woman didn’t have a clue that anybody who had spoken to her wife for more than 10 mins would have had a full run down of her mental health issues and how much her she depended on her wife.
Anyway back to Jack of all issues sufferer of none. Has she had a nose job? Her nose looks very different in the photos from that first Diva interview.
Anyway back to Jack of all issues sufferer of none. Has she had a nose job? Her nose looks very different in the photos from that first Diva interview.
Why does she think teachers need to know all about the inner struggles of one parent, of a school of hundreds of children? She thinks she's the main character in life.
Mumsnet is where I first “met” Jack and I needed an eyeroll reaction back then.
More like the 1850s !
Quite tempted to use that emoji now as a judge’s wig. It’s perfect.....this emoji:is not, as I thought, a judge's wig. It's...head full of steam! Blimey.
Also, off topic, but...i only found out a few months ago that the pointy arrow on instagram is not actually a compass
Sorry for the interrupt, happily grunkaing away.
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