Jack Monroe #144 The man from Strictly, he say No

[waffle maker]

Good Morning I am VERY SURPRISED that Jack is ill on her book deadline day.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Why yes, yes we do.

 

[HarderFaster]

YOUR FUCKING DAD IS A LANDLORD YOU GRADE A BELLEND

 

[SlopAmbsase]

I’ve got a couple of reflective thoughts to share with you about what’s currently irking me about JM, above the vegan cosplaying which is what initially bought me here. As I’ve said before, I do occasionally wonder if this is a constructive thing to be involved with so I feel I need to challenge myself a bit (unlike our Jack).

My biggest ick moment (and there have been some doozies to chose from lately) was prompted by the squiqqle who made the ‘why can’t we all chip in and buy you your forever home’ comment. Whether it’s a suggestion to buy her a house or a shopping trolley, there’s NEVER a firm, sincere response of ‘thank you, that’s kind but you really don’t need to do this/there are so many people worse off than me/I’m doing fine thanks’. She always sidesteps this with a deft little response that sidesteps the question but still hints at poverty. Such as ‘I’ll find it in the library’ or ‘I’d never get a mortgage on my smol pixie wage’. It’s manipulative and calculated. It’s horribly selfish and cynical. It’s evil. And I think it makes it very clear that she knows exactly what she’s up to.

Secondly, I was catching up with a friend who was telling me her 6 year old has been having online safety lessons at school. One of the results of this is that she’s told her mum that she cannot take her picture and share it without her permission. And that if she does, she will be very upset and disappointed. I feel sad that SB does not have this extended to him; I’m pretty certain that an emoji mask does not lessen the impact his image being shared to thousands. Especially when at his age he’s likely to be so sensitive about intimate moments with his mother being seen by his peers.

So, don’t worry, it really doesn’t take long to convince myself that I’m not dwelling in a hell pit here. And enjoying this weekend’s tea spillage, outrage and Rik appreciation makes me realise that this is the most wonderful corner of the internet to be in and I LOVE being part of the cabal as you’re all so brilliant.

 

[Pocahontas]

 

[PoorPatrol]

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I’ve read so many articles on this in the last year or so. Jack, nobody needs your painfully slow take on how disgusting Grenfell was/is. We know.

You were never a firefighter and you do fuck all for anyone but yourself. Grow up and sort your own shit out before poking your Facetuned nose into old news.

 

[Jelly Bean]

These are all full on insane. None of the conversations happened. There isn't a nursery worker in the land who would find it remarkable that a boy wants to dress up as a princess, primary school kids do not talk about adult genitals, no one on a train gives a shit about a parent citing UNICEF numbers to their child. She's a fantasist.

I realise this take is just as hot as cladding. I'm sorry.

Omg that 'Say my Name' one. Poor little boy. He calls her Melissa and they both 'cry hard' and he is ashamed. She then says 'I forgave him'. The child is 5. She is showing him dead naming is trolling. The child is 5. Imagine even saying of your 5 year old 'I forgave him' as if it was fucking optional and she is so magnanimous.
Those columns really show her up for the self absorbed, tedious and quite unpleasant individual she really is.

 

[Mogmog]

Ironic that Jack demands MPs be transparent with their different incomes yet has faked poverty for years

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I don't understand. What would that show? A direct correlation between being a landlord and voting against the poors? (Being pithy here, I don't intend to offend) That landlords are evil when they're MPs but not if they're people related to Jack? I bet if Jack had the opportunity to be a landlord she would jump at the opportunity for a passive income - and, what's more, she would be a third generation landlord. Practically the devil personified.

I actually came here to copy and paste something I wrote on the Joe Wicks thread but is also applicable to Jack: I can't stand influencers who actively choose to have an unconventional job and then act like it's a chore for them and like they're selflessly enduring it for others, rather than solely for their own personal gain. Just get a real job and be happy.

ETA I have just finished my grunk and saw the original tweet re cladding. I thought she was just on another 'landlords and MPs are evil' rant

Love this comment.

Jack seriously needs to sit this one out. I hope someone replies with her dad’s limited company for properties tbh. I lived in a block with this cladding, post Grenfell, and the anxiety is unbearable. We were privileged in that we could just go and buy our house earlier than expected to get out, but in that period my anxiety was absolutely insane. I was on the top floor and the block was majorly overcrowded so I knew I’d die if there was a fire, I had no chance at getting out. It’s such a complex combination of many, many issues that she just cannot understand as she’s been renting huge houses in the country for her whole life? Fuck off she’s such an insufferable cunt, she’s clearly been on Reddit where the bail out funds are being discussed still.

Hope her shit book sells 3 copies dickhead

 

[virtualorigami]

not sure if this will be helpful but thought i’d contribute anyway because i have worked as a call handler in 3 different emergency/urgent care type services over a period of 10 years.

it is actually a hard job because it’s exhausting being on the phone for long periods of time, you do hear things that affect you, and the amount of abuse you get wears thin SO quickly but it’s not the same as doing the actual job on the frontline and you are NOT trained to be able to do that.

i can’t speak for the fire service but there was no decision-making in any of the jobs that i have done, there are algorithms and strict procedures that you need to follow in terms of specifically how you deal with calls and when and who you escalate to (and it needs to be done to the letter or else you would be responsible if anything went wrong). no need to read 1000 page documents about policies because the only important thing is that you follow the procedures. i don’t believe that you would need to know massive details to make decisions by yourself as a call handler like she describes, it would be way above your pay grade. even a dispatch role where i have worked wouldn’t have the level of decision-making that jack talks about, it is a role that comes with more responsibility but they are still just following procedures.

hope that all makes sense, it’s probably a bit jumbled! basically i definitely feel that jack is massively overstating her experience. but hey we already know that.

 

[Harrybosch]

Diva mark 3, the columns

These are all full on insane. None of the conversations happened. There isn't a nursery worker in the land who would find it remarkable that a boy wants to dress up as a princess, primary school kids do not talk about adult genitals, no one on a train gives a shit about a parent citing UNICEF numbers to their child. She's a fantasist.

I realise this take is just as hot as cladding. I'm sorry.

 

[MancBee]

.

This one appears to be pregnant, either that or it has a nasty growth. So sad it keeled over on its perch.

 

[colouredlines]

Later she says she was dog-sitting for 5 days (moving house in the middle, OK Jack).

She also says this:

Don't wanna sound like a dick here, but I've lived on three continents and I have fewer stories than this loon.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Typical Jack, always jumping on the bandwagon as it’s left the station

Most of the time she's not even jumping on the bandwagon. She's running behind it, flailing her arms around frantically. Shouting "Wait for me! Don't forget about my life's work! POTATOOOOOOOES!"

 

[Jumpingbeansterrapin]

I HATE the way she centres herself on practically everything as if it’s HER story/topic/lived experience. Even the way she is quoting acts relating to fire safety is done in such a way that heavily implies she’s got some kind of “insider knowledge” and it’s this type of stuff that makes the more trusting/gullible squiggles think she’s some kind of saintly fountain of knowledge.
She’s a narcissistic little grief thief and it seems there is no tragedy on earth that she won’t try to shoehorn herself in to.
She REALLY need some to learn the difference between using a platform to raise awareness and abusing said platform to amplify her own voice.

ETA sorry about my shouty caps, she makes my blood boil

 

[Cunderthunt]

Diva mark 3, the columns

In the transparenting article, Jack is unusually critical of SB's father, and imagines saying "Daddy has a lot to fucking answer for" in response to her son saying that he told him that babies are made when a mummy and daddy love each other very much. How dare he explain basic biology in an age appropriate way to his son At the end of the article, she's proud of her son for being in a fight and whacking a boy in the face, protecting her honour after the other boy allegedly called his mum a ******. Brilliant parenting there - if true. Encouraging your 6 year old to engage in physical fights.

In "Mama, why do you want to be a boy?" they are discussing SB being picked on by his classmates due to Jack wanting to be a boy. After SB repeats the mantra that (content warning) if anyone tries to touch his willy or bum, he should tell them loudly to stop and tell an adult, Jack responds "Exactly. So... it's a bit weird that Shannon and Cam are interested in your mama's privates." It's unbelievable that Jack is comparing the innocent questions of 5/6 year olds on a very confusing subject, to them being inappropriately sexually interested in her genitalia. It's absolutely not on. How dare she suggest that to her son? How dare the editors let this through?

In "Chicken vegetable soup for the soul", Jack has begun cosplaying as a vegan who is depriving her young son. There is an unrealistic exchange with SB saying "When I was poorly before, you always made me chicken soup, but now you don't eat animals and I don't want to make you sad. But chicken soup always made my poorly better". So SB is mature enough to think what he eats might make his mum sad, and care about that despite being an ailing 6 year old, but still young enough to say made my poorly better. Also he's compassionate enough to give a shit about his mum's precious feelings about what he eats, but not a thought for the animals, which he fully acknowledges as the source of his meat. I don't think any of this exchange happened, she just wants to make herself look like her imagined stereotype of a vegan, and her son look like a super-caring mummy's boy.

"Say my name" is a manipulative load of shit. The entire thing is about her dead name, and her family not loving her enough to call her by her new name. There is a lot of extreme emotional guff, wallowing in victimhood about not always getting called Jack, and acting as if her name change is entirely related to her trans identity. She involves her son in the victimhood, and they both burst into tears after he calls her Melissa as an insult. The truth is this entire article is bullshit. Jack changed her name long before she became non-binary, and did so because she wanted to change her surname to Monroe, due to alleged racism, and didn't want an alliterative first name. She has recently said that she regrets her name change every day. Also noted in the article is her description of Mediterranean hips.

Can't be arsed to review the others!

 

[colouredlines]

Jack Monroe, queen of #ThatHappened. There is so much bullshit in this story I don't even know where to start...

I did love the detail of going to her bank with ID though. Just roll up your sleeves, you mean?

 

[peperomides]

This thread moves so fast that every time I catch up I've been beaten to anything I wanted to add to the conversation....
But what long arms Allegra has!!

 

[PoorPatrol]

Diva mark 2

That’s what I’m saying. Whenever she uses her son for the old ‘Misty eyed rhetoric’, she neglects to mention that she moved in with someone after FOUR fucking DAYS. Took him far from his dad, gave him a new sister and new caregiver without a moment’s notice. I will never get over how abominably foolish and irresponsible that was. She never owns ul to it either, never says she regrets putting her son in that position, it’s always about her and the whole ‘she left’ narrative. Whenever anyone tries to be kind on here and says that she’s probably a great mum, I struggle to agree. I’d like to think so for his sake, but having a lazy, narcissistic fantasist for a mum must be so hard on him.

 

[HarderFaster]

Last veganuary post is up on Linda M IG - it’s a video, which looks like an in - house effort, in the spot which Jack’s was commissioned for I suspect.

Great comment underneath it from our favourite viggle:

I’m sorry for this shameless schadenfreude but I’m really pleased that Jack wasted a whole day that she could have been writing her shitty book to film the Linda Mc horse-testicle-on-mush recipe that they can’t even use because the vegans hate her so much.