My dad was the same. His doctors decided he'd do less damage to himself by drinking a moderate amount instead of swinging between cold turkey and insane amounts. When he died a couple of years ago, he was already missing one leg and they were considering amputating the other one. Diabetes, liver failure, heart problems, none of it stopped him from going back to the booze. His body basically gave up.
I want to share too, because the alcohol talk from JM can really make me see red. My good buddy, someone I’ve grown up with (we’re both still in our 20s, just barely), has been fighting for his life throughout this pandemic. He has cirrhosis and is on the brink of liver failure, but he’s managed to get sober through a detox centre and he’s doing okay-ish. I know some sober people who enjoy a non-alcoholic beverage occasionally, but mostly for ceremonial reasons (ex. having an AF beer at a baseball game). But maybe there is a market there, who knows?
I have my own experiences using alcohol to self-medicate as a mostly non-speaking autistic kid. But I’ve never reached a point like my friend did. I’d never write a woe-is-me + sorry-I’ve-been-awful article announcing I’d been sober for a week in a national (well, international) newspaper. Maybe try the sobriety for a year and then write about some insight? Maybe save that story for an AA meeting? Maybe get into confessional poetry because I don’t understand who this article is serving?
I feel hypocritical here. I don’t want to be a gate-keeper and say someone doesn’t have a drinking problem or can’t share their experiences, but when it comes to life-threatening addictions you do it responsibly! I also can relate a bit if JM is autistic and struggles with speaking in high pressure situations. I dunno. I can’t shake the feeling that it’s been exaggerated, that this article could’ve easily been about recognizing a problem with drinking and wanting to start the year sober, like so many people probably feel after New Year’s. Alcohol is an addictive substance. It’s addictive for everyone. It’s not uncommon to feel like you need to give up booze to gain back control.
That article was the first time I rolled my eyes at this performative mess. Only seems worse with the casual mention of relapses (itty-bitty ones) on Twitter. If my friend mentioned a relapse I’d be on the phone or jumping a train to go see him, even in this pandemic, because it might be the thing that kills him.
I once sent my friend a picture from a party last year, because I’d run into a mutual friend of ours. There were bottles of alcohol in the shot. He called me and asked nicely that I never send him any photos with booze visible. I don’t think he’d enjoy buttery AF mulled wine with his beet burger hockey pucks and bowls of unruly slop.
Declaring you’re sober to the whole world one week into recovery (if we’re using the AA alcoholism is a thing framework) makes about as much sense as a “food expert“ never making a quiche before.
(I can hear the objections : “It was to hold myself accountable! I want to share my journey and shed light on this issue! Visibility! What?! It’s not like I’m making a movie about it. I passed on selling the movie rights decades ago. For the sake of my family. Would you do that? Stay out of my business, you know, the personal life I bang out across my many Guardian bylines.”
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