Hunters & Heels #3 white floaty dresses and (empty) baguettes tied up with string

[Gemgemgemgem]

Haha so pleased to come across this thread!

Lauren is a very peculiar person who really intrigues me....a bit like passing a car crash scene, you don't want to look but we are a curious species. Just can't help it
I'm addicted to watching her. She used to be so normal and wholesome and I rediscovered her recently after a social media break and I can't believe what she has become. Her face looks like a balloon with big red lips, skin so tight. Her clothes are so frumpy. She does really weird and random things "for the boys" like put leaves on their beds and make them look like they're constantly attending weddings. Anyway, monthly bingo card here...

Pub lunch after a countryside walk.
Sunday roast dinner with the slowed down pouring gravy shot accompanied with the "save the best til last" song.
Halloween themed cupcakes the 'boys made' which resemble something from a bake off final.
Hunkering down with a gifted jo Malone / white Co gifted candle with glass of red wine and wool socks. Bonus point for a fire shot in the background.
Forty five gifted white or cream coats from Wallis and Next.
A gifted beige cashmere cardigan.
Some joules wellies while having an autumn walk while foraging for nature's craft supplies. Bonus points if this occurs on route to the pub for previously mentioned pub lunch.
A Bobbi Brown makeup tutorial.
Aveno cream for rorwieeee's sensitive skin.
An autumn wreath.
Five dinners made by her man, Col, the chef of the house.
One random kitchen gadget which takes up more bench space than a small vehicle but will deliciously slip into a cupboard for easy storage.
Some over exaggerated over smiley talking while sat in the car.
A precious date night where she'll be responding personally to pretty much every comment on instagram.
Boys dressed all twee while staring at camera with vacant look behind eyes. Bonus points if they're manically smiling while partaking in some Enid Blyton activity such as leaf hunting, stick throwing, conker collecting.
Wine. Point for each glass.
Comments left on RosieLondoner posts. Point for each.
Doorway pose photograph.
"Impromptu" field pose pic.
Archie gushing post.
Ad Ad Ad - one point each.

Breakfast. Extra point for avocado. Extra point for a runny poached egg scene. Extra points if accompanied with "easy like Sunday morning" song.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

No one needs a planner for 2021, we'll still be doing fk all!!

Would love to see hers.

Monday: I must post stories about BB, back to work as a working parent, this BB lipstick you will all be asking about. Monday night glass of white wine and a dish from Col.

Tuesday: post about coat. Post for candle burning away while I work from home, increases productivity while promoting weight loss. Post about a bag and another coat. Post about boots. Post about some hair styling device as it is date night. Impromptu date night. Quick post about date night eyeshadow. Wedding pic post.

Wednesday: midweek makeup chat. Gush about Archie post. Quickly add in pic of other kids so they don't forget I am a working mum. Talk about how hard life is to remain relatable. Another coat.

Thursday: breakfast post as it is a lazy hazy morning so look at my avocado. Trip to London post. Outfit post. And another coat post. Pic of boys to get work life balance. Few pics of London and makeup.

Friday: walk in a field post to counteract the city post yesterday. Outfit for field wear. Coat post (WTF will I post about in summer? I dresses?). Date night post. Pyjama post with red wine and fire. Colin cooked. Craft with boys post as forgot about them for a while. Talk about upcoming season post.

Saturday: breakfast posts galore. Maybe with wine. Walk in fields with kids. Make them play with some twigs and collect acorns. Make it look fun. Wedding pic post and family post

Sunday: lipsticks, gravy in slow motion. Boys outfit posts - they must match. Stand by front door for a pic. Wine.

 

[exinfluenced]

I have to start off by saying I completely lost the plot for a while, spending money on unnecessary planners, lamps, blankets, etc. that Lauren posted - I was completely sucked in. Then I started to see through her friendly bullshit and realised what a steely saleswoman she actually is. This evening I unfollowed her and found this feed. What kind of person brags (‘shares’) a trip to The Ivy when millions of people are locked down and miserable this Christmas? The fact that she posted a warning beforehand means she KNOWS it’s insensitive. Why couldn’t she just enjoy it with her family, quietly? Because she’s just flashy and it’s gross. I feel so stupid for following her and falling for it.

 

[Gemgemgemgem]

Saved him? So bizarre.

Probably saved him from making any minor decisions on anything for the rest of his days as she's such a controlling nut. She will tell him what to wear, where to look, what to cook.
Or did she rescue him from his young child and his mum? Lovely Lauren, probably sumpsously swirled in wearing a gorgeous, flowing linen white dress which deliciously swished with every fragrant movement, her hair, golden and bouncing like a modern halo, teeth like the white cliffs of Dover letting Colin and Archie know they're safe now.

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear #gifted

 

[Comfysofa]

Gearing up for the “took a little insta break to spend time with my loves and enjoy making magical memories and put the phone down but........... here is a montage of the most perfect Christmas to make you all feel like crap and I managed to curate and stage and photograph every little detail for you to show you how perfect, lush and happy we all are”!!! Followed quickly by an #Ad!!!!

 

[BattieHattie]

Or you could just not post them Lauren?

 

[houseofhoop]

These influencers and brands are tone deaf. Thinking about how the table will be set on Christmas Day? We have no idea what Christmas Day will be like this year. There are so many uncertainties, because of the pandemic. I don’t care about how my table is set. I’m more concerned for the grandparents we may not see and how they will cope. How a table looks on Xmas day just isn’t a priority. We are busy making up parcels for charities, because unlike you Lauren, not everyone is living a gifted fake lifestyle on IG.
“Give to the needy, not the GREEDY”

If Next picked a family from a deprived area, or an NHS worker, or a family struggling on benefits and said ‘here you are, here is everything you need to set the table for Christmas and here’s money to spend on food and gifts’ (the money they would have paid Lauren) then this would make me WAY more interested in buying from them.

 

[Right on top of that rose]

Super Col must have spiffing liquorice root tea with jollyhockeysticks almond pannacotta planned for tomorrow’s Sunday brunch, followed by a lush stroll in Valencia filtered woods and finishing with slo mo gravy pouring shot with a strategically placed glass of red wine (or lashings of ginger beer)

 

[#kindlygifted]

Can I ask (as I don’t have kids) but am thinking of my own childhood some 35 years or so ago (now that’s scared me!) when I was the age of her kids and even all that time ago I think I’d have had the piss taken out of me for being dressed so twee and the same as my brother and also receiving all of those really old fashioned wooden gifts. Now I know that it’s really awful how kids compare / brag about their gifts etc. but can you imagine the conversations at school in January?

“Hey Rorweee, what you get? I got the new X Box and some Transformers”

“ahhhh well I had a personalised Santa sack, some dominoes and a wooden mushroom”

 

[Waffledoggy]

Oh seriously, she just needs to *^%# off with her perfect bloody life and Christmas perfection. SHE and others like her are a massive part of the problem in this country right now. I work in the health service. We are on our knees. And she’s swanning off to the bloody Ivy because she can, and then to the pantomime?!? I would LOVE to take my kids to see a pantomime, but some things right now just SERIOUSLY are not worth the risk. Apparently it “all felt very safe” - virus particles are invisible you absolute muppet!! Set an example. Stay at home, show some bloody sensitivity to those of us who have real jobs and live real lives!

 

[Dizzy]

Not a Lauren fan at all and I agree with the vast majority of comments here but wanted to say yet again that no-one can "steal" someone from someone else. If Our Laur and Col got together when he was still married then that was a joint decision by both of them, she couldn't have made him do anything he didn't want to do and he is just as accountable as she is, more so in fact as (we think) he was the one who was married with a child. He may have chased her, his marriage may have already been over when they got together, we don't know. As I say, not sticking up for her, I think she's shady AF and completely cringe but it bugs me how the woman always ALWAYS gets the blame in these situations.

 

[Rosiepie]

These influencers and brands are tone deaf. Thinking about how the table will be set on Christmas Day? We have no idea what Christmas Day will be like this year. There are so many uncertainties, because of the pandemic. I don’t care about how my table is set. I’m more concerned for the grandparents we may not see and how they will cope. How a table looks on Xmas day just isn’t a priority. We are busy making up parcels for charities, because unlike you Lauren, not everyone is living a gifted fake lifestyle on IG.
“Give to the needy, not the GREEDY”

 

[ced60]

How many people , having sat in a car for hours on the way back from holiday with 3 kids , piles of washing to be done , more shirts to iron than the average laundry , dress themselves up to the nines in a fresh white dress , full make up, kids preened and dressed in white [2 of them anyway) and gets the tripod and ring lights out so Col can take a picture of them on the doorstep ? I just do not get it, is it just narcissism or does she somehow earn a pile of money for each staged and fake photo she posts ?

 

[Rosiepie]

Aw, you have to feel sorry for poor Lauren- these Insta huns have a tough job! It’s not easy staging, faking, begging and conning people 365 days of the year. She NEEDED that weekend away during the pandemic (paid for by the sheeple) - she’s worked hard this year accepting free stuff, receiving gifted NEXT furniture etc, providing content for ADS, a wipeable Christmas planner (her idea!), not to mention her very own Christmas gift guide website complete with AFF links galore! Not easy putting that together, especially during a pandemic, but she wants to help (herself) others. Thanks Lauren I really don’t know what we’d do without you and all those instaclones who sell their souls and their families to the gram for money!! So nice, open and honest is our Lauren. She even ropes in her twee little boys to help her pull in the money. Teamwork!
PS: Lauren if you read here- you did film people in that restaurant and the snowflakes did not cover their faces. Anything for the gram and money, and screw privacy eh? Nice one

 

[Theninth]

The other things that I find annoying about matching clothes is the amount of perfectly good clothes that must be wasted. I have two daughters and don't dress them in matching clothes because a large percentage of my youngest daughters wardrobe are the perfectly wearable hand me downs from my eldest daughter, why waste. The clothing industry is one of the largest if not the largest source of pollution in the world today and it is down people with a wasteful easy come easy go attitude towards clothes.
By sharing siblings clothes in this way it doesn't offer the opportunity for them to be constantly matching but I would rather put the ethical choice above my desire to show off for the gram like Lauren.

 

[doingtherightthing]

Oooo an Instagram live with Friends Of Joules at midday tomorrow discussing the businesses they work with etc. Might have to see if I can swap my lunch break so I can “hop on” and ask them how many businesses they work with are black/bame owned because it look like NONE on their page. Fingers crossed my boss lets me, y’know, cuz I have a REAL job that pays me shit money and nobody is about to give me a bottle of perfume of £100 a pop or gift me a new sofa or, or, or....

 

[headshoulderskneesandtoes]

Its a wierd picture. Cos ive never been in a situation where ive a) worn a floral patterned bra under a sheer linen white shirt or b) gone to the window smiling while im enjoying a cuppa with my shirt flapping open and my jugs out.

How has Fantasie aproved this wierd ass picture? it doesnt make sense and has all the Lauren trademarks in like her nose profile, big honking grin, wine/tea in her hand and the Lady Chatterley/Emmanuel filter on her schmexy pictures.

 

[Clare]

Let’s take a second to process that Lauren took fake boxed presents to the Christmas tree farm to set up a photo shoot

12 Days of Freebies for Lauren is BACK! Surely we never doubted her

 

[MissTeddy]

Her husband will be on furlough again now (he's a car salesman right?)
Furlough only pays on basic salary - car salesman only earn a v small basic, but with big commission when they sell vehicles.
With only 80% of our Col's basic salary coming in, Lau will be swiping up, and shilling for our she's worth this month.

Why doesn't she just say - tough times here this month - or something even slightly relatable?
But no, its all perfect, twee, Enid Blyton lovely.
No credit card debits - no rent to pay - no bills mounting up.
Just slow pouring gravy and country strolls.

 

[Starshining]

I completely agree but the difference is people relate to her and don’t realise the hard sell that is why it is so clever. People identify with her, think they can be like her, they are far more aware that they are not going to look like a model or celeb highly photoshopped in a magazine or advert. It is such subtle advertising it feels more deceitful when she implies her look is down to great products, simply applied by herself, instead of declaring filters. I know it is just advertising/ marketing but it is so powerful and dangerous because many people cannot realise they are just being duped. She so easily makes you think she is doing you some great favour showing you these products, she is very good at what she does.

Saleswoman married to a Car salesman (former store sales manager)
Wake up sheep, she is not your friend, she is a saleswoman and one that hides behind a phone filter