Helen Anderson #9 had a threesome, kind of..

[boo5432]

I was looking at all of her gifted items in her house and she must be so desensitised to owning special things. It's so nice to save up for a really good kettle (yes, I am that old that kettles excite me) or get a beautiful gift from a friend and put it pride of place on a shelf. All of Helen's belongings, of which there are far too many, are just drowning on top of each other. I wonder if she's even excited about receiving presents from her family this christmas as she already owns pretty much everything!! When everyday you receive so much stuff, do you treasure any of it? It's certainly not making her happy and I think she knows she hasn't 'earnt' a lot of it.

 

[Tyla73]

She really does look miserable in that video and she appears a bit disconnected and disinterested. I would say she is more likely stoned, not drunk, if anything.

Negative comments must really jump out at her, given that she is super touchy and most of the comments she gets are just people kissing her arse and telling her that her videos make their day etc. I do frequently wonder how so many people can watch the same thing and come away with such different impressions. There is no doubt that we see something completely different to that which most of her fans see, or the ones that comment.

Someone in her most recent vlog comments has said that Phil looks like Rollo from Vikings. He really, really doesn’t.

I’ll just leave these here for those who didn’t watch Vikings and you can judge for yourselves

 

[Emmapism]

That caption is so poorly written. Helen girl you should be vibing with a dictionary and a thesaurus.

 

[boo5432]

That intro was all happy clappy and then it cuts to her sour face lol It was painfully obvious how unhappy she is now compared to christmasses past. She can't even fake it for the camera..
ALSO.. mulled wine doesn't have alcohol in?! What you doing Helen, steaming it for 12 hours?? You fucking doughnut.

 

[tsuyu]

The excruciatingly long section where she was lowkey fat shaming Phil was v uncomfortable to watch and if she’s that comfortable doing it on camera (and not for the first time either) what’s she like behind closed doors?? she seems to project her own insecurities onto others. Christ, the cake decorating part was awkward to watch too. Also the tone of her voice is off and a bit fake when speaking to him (similar to her repeating sorry when decorating the tree). They’re such a weird couple...

I’m certain sure forced maff to propose again because she didn’t like the first proposal??! She screams controlling

 

[Teasipper1]

In her new vlog when she’s writing her and Phil’s name on a decoration and says she’s going to do it every year as a keep sake from the year.. she’s really just wanting to keep a memory of the blokes she goes through considering there’s a different one each year

 

[microwavequeen]

that’s suuuuch an old and outdated myth of how microwaves work they’re perfectly safe and healthy to use, no need to pull out the tinfoil hats.

I love a good microwave, obviously

 

[Tyla73]

I watched the vlog and, not for the first time, my overwhelming sense is that there’s something ’off’ with her and the way she behaves but I can never quite capture what it is. She is very odd.

The constant daft voices, singing sentences and changing accent is incredibly irritating and I don’t know how anyone puts up with it. It’s constant, she can’t seem to speak normally ever. My husband would just tell me to stop it if I started speaking in stupid voices, it would really piss him off .

I still maintain that Phil is just a normal guy (I refuse to form any hard judgements about him based on Helga’s videos) and she makes him look bad on purpose. She done it with all her boyfriends and several friends, she likes to portray people in a negative light and is a professional victim. Who is the common denominator in all those relationships though? Helen. Which leads me to think that most of the time, the problem is actually her.

 

[Lunamoon22]

VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 6
The Christmas Spreadsheet​

Helga seems to have fallen off the schedule train already, does she upload at 9pm? 6pm? Who the fuck knows anymore. Maybe the element of surprise is supposed to be fun?

Judging by the title of this vlog WE ARE IN FOR A TREAAAAAT

Starting off with her gulping down her cup of tea (or mug of wine) "Oh god... I drank sooo much tea taday... it's jast bin sa coald that all I want is just 'ot liquid runnin' through ma body"

It's a new week.... she's telling us yet again that she's only uploading Monday to Friday (because she's a lazy fook) and will be filming stuff over the weekend to upload on Monday. Bitch needs her weekends off from pressing a button, and she doesn't want to "worry about the upload". She just wants to enjoy the weekend a bit more. And to just "have a bit of a break" she laughs.

She had a really nice weekend, she had a chilled Saturday morning watching some trash TV, had a "barf" (bath), did her virtual borefest (wreath making... again). Now she's telling us... again... how she "normally" would be going to the work shop together.

"But obviously because of URGHMMM" She can't even say pandemic or corona, she just has to pathetically make a noise, roll her eyes and pull weird facial expressions:

Tells people to go watch the video, judging by the piss poor view count - no one fucking wants to, Helga.

After her wreath making she watched a bunch of Christmas films. Sunday she met up with her sister and GEORGE and did a coastal walk, and now we get a flash back in slow motion, yay.

Oh god... she even placed the camera down and ran off just to do her walking back while talking bit. She's so fucking lame. Here she comes waddling towards us, telling us how she reached the summit and that they're going to have some cake. Waddle waddle.

Now she interviews her sister and George... Hayley says the walk has been good... George sarcastically says he's having the time of his life. This interview goes on for a bit. They've all had some cake and now they're going off to get some fish and chips.

"There's a boat there, which for a moment I thought was a whale" Says Hayley, "Maybe it was a whale... there!" as Helga comes into shot and now it's the whale's... I mean her turn for an interview with the camera to announce that they're going back now

"FILWHIP have yer ad a nice tyme?"

Fil finally enunciates today "It's been lovely, yes"

Helen is proud that Fil used his words properly. "Yes, lovely time darling"

More slow mo montage as they head into town for their fish and chips. Now we get to watch them all stuff their faces while talking "FIRTEEN PAOWNDS FOR ALL DIS!" Helga loves bargain food.

Back to present day Helga, telling us that when she got back they watched a reaaallly cool movie called Host which was filmed during lockdown on Zoom, and she tells us that when she was editing her wreath making vlog with her zoom call she got the heebie jeebies that there was a ghost in her footage.

Getting on with today, Monday's are usually her "setting up" day where she plans the week ahead, so we cut to footage of her tidying up her house.. again... she might even do a bit of laundry too (ooh!).

Monday's she likes to straighten up the office too - because she does sooooo much work in there obvs. She does a bit of a hoover and a bit of a clean so she can have a nice working environment again.

She also does "life stuff" like "life admin" (eg bill paying) and plan the rest of the week so she gets her diary up... we can see she's super busy... look how chockablock that calendar is!

She's figuring out what she's doing for the rest of the week and what she's uploading... which is nothing by the looks of her diary... I thought she was well proud of her spreadsheet before December hit?

"Monday's are also FOOD DAY!" says Helga, with a twinkle in her eye and a big smile on her face, she's got the dog's food and gusto delivered.

She's sitting her now, already planned her week and already edited her vlog. She's feeling content and on top of the world.

So other than the update, she wants to share with us THE SACRED CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET! (Probably to prove herself to Tattle)

"WOAH THERE! I know wot yer finking, 'WOAH THERE! WOT? A CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET?!'" No Helen, no one is thinking that... we are all sitting here thinking why the fuck this is classed as content.

She's a huge fan of spreadsheets.... (except when she complained about having to use them when doing her taxes....)

"I FORT 'YER KNOW WOT? I'M GUNNA SHARE THE CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET TODAY!' THAT'S IN THE VEIN OF THE VLOG RIGHT? YEAH? COOL! OKAY! ORGANIZING! CHRISTMAS SPREADSHEET" Helen clearly has run out of ideas for vlogmas already....

Right... hold on folks... I need to pause and get myself ready for this shit.

Jesus Christ. Okay. Here we go.

She created this shit at the end of October, beginning of November because she was excited for Christmas and wanted something to look forward to, and she wanted to feel like she was in control more this year. Last year she was unorganised and disappointed in herself and she said to herself that this year she has GOT to raise the bar "AND I HAVE" she says....

She wanted to make sure that by making the spreadsheet she wasn't buying anything she didn't need and that she "wasn't gunna waste ANY FOOD!" (That sounds like Filwhip talking)

Now here we go... we're going to see the spreadsheet! I'm so excited I might wee myself!!!!!!!!!!!

​

Oh god Helen, STOP SAYING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A SPREADSHEET, WE GET IT YOU LOVE IT, YOU WANT TO MARRY IT. GET ON WITH IT FFS.

"I'm getting... I'm getting, I'm learning how to used spreadsheets, like formulas and stuff like that" and now she lists when she uses spreadsheets..... like writing lists for holidays, money stuff, itineraries... you name it... and because Christmas is spread out over a period of time... she started making.... y'know... A FUCKING SPREADSHEET, WE GET IT.

First on the sheet is food. Obvs.

"It's really not that impressive, BUT PEOPLE KEEP ASKING" No, fucking stop right there Missy... NO ONE asked for this shit. Not a single fucking soul. Don't you blame this shit on us.

She loves getting her Christmas food from M&S and this year she's also done a Waitrose shop "Now every now and then I'll shop at these places, but these are generally deemed as "TREAT SHOPS"

"A little bit of EXTRAAAAA" she flaps.

"Granted" she always buys more than she needs, so this year she was a bit more cautious, a little bit more reserved (lol) and reeeeeally thought about it as there's only two of them and now SAVAGE is coming along too so that makes three...

So now she's made a Christmas menu and has put everything she's bought so far (so far being the key words there), so everything is accounted for and nothing gets wasted.

And here it is!

Christmas eve is FIL's birthday so it's mystery, mystery on the menu. Xmas day is.... OH MY GOD NO ONE CARES.

Skipping through all this... I can hear her drooling already. Basically she's drinking all day everyday... what's new there?

Boxing day she's doing a new tradition of having a BBQ - she's well quirky

She's on to the next tab which is presents.... and it's blank because she doesn't want any spoilers.... so we're looking at a BLANK spreadsheet.....

Here's the main people she's buying for

and now she explains how a list works... (basically you type what you need to buy in the need to buy bit and when you bought it you move it to the bought cell! MAGIC!)

She would make another spreadsheet, called the "Plan of Christmas" but she knows having a Christmas day itinerary would stress her out because she's a control freak who has to have everything her way. Reminder... there's only THREE people there... THREE.

oh, now she changes her mind "Oh no I do need to make an itinerary... I NEED TO MAKE A CHRISTMAS PLAN"

Fuck, she's doing this for content.....

She makes a list and says that she's taking FIL away for the night on his birthday.... seeing his parents on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...

She feels better writing all this down because her brain gets overwhelmed.

"If there's any other people wiv plans... let me know" she says to her spreadsheet.

She has to write it all the details down because she forgets things all the time... (like how to make interesting content)

That's all.

 

[Whosthatonethere]

She’ll live on as Minnie in our hearts. Also my phone just changed Minnie to Binnie

Petition to only refer to her as Binnie from now on

Has she always done that strange stuttering thing? Like a nervous toddler trying to get a story out

So weird because she quite clearly puts it on, as someone with a stutter it’s so infuriating and clear to see when someone’s faking it to humanise them or seem upset or stupid stuff like that. So annoying. When people have a stutter you can see the genuine struggle to get it out, here you can see she’s capable she just does it for the same weird reason she does the cockney accent

 

[Lunamoon22]

VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 9
The Christmas Lush Haul​

Starting the vlog like yesterday - Helen sets up the camera and enters as if it's the first time she's come in to the room She's carrying a wool wreath and notices that there's crumbies on the kitchen side!

She's wearing her hair up again, I can't tell if she's doing this because we've mentioned her poor awful bald spot or what, but we're airing out the scalp again today.

So far she has edited yesterday's vlogmas "which was quite fun", she's been to see her osteopath "'ad sum crackin' n sum massaging for me poorly shawlda", and then she popped into Lush because she wanted to have a restock her Lush basket, but also because "It's Christmas and I just wanted some Lush Christmas stuuuuuufff!" she says in a weird voice and equally weird expression

She's just had her lunch, and is now having her post lunch tea and TREAT! She's gonna have a cupcake from yesterday.

She's shouting out another small shop which has gifted her a pom pom wreath, and wire names for her dogs - Hmm, it seems like she will only shout out those who gift her free shit.

That's it for the shout outs for now, she's waddling off into the other room to pop her lovely gifted items into the other room while we wait for her to waddle back and do something interesting.

Fil's at home revising because he's got exams next week "it's all very, very exciting but slightly nerve wracking, but all good in the hood"

Now they're both tucking in to the cake "Yummy, yo ho ho! I can't eat those big things" she says about the sugar decoration, Fil mumbles something with a mouth full of cake. "they look nice, but they hurt my teef" says Helga, who probably see a dentist, "well they don't hurt my teef, but, ugh... just a bit hard" she says crunching on the decoration. She sounds really slow and dopey.

"You're doing really well, you know" she says to Fil, "I was expecting to come home and you'd be asleep"

"me too" mumbles Fil, as Helga laughs at him with a mouth full of cake

"Asleep at the table" Continues Fil

"You're sleeping with your eyes open" say Helen (they talk to each other like they're both 80 year olds)

They both then laugh and mumble shit we can't understand because they both love to talk with a mouthful of food.

Also what is this camera angle

Before she carries on with the rest of her work day she's going to share with us what she got from Lush.

"Cos it's Christmas" and she loves getting a bunch of seasonal Lush shit every year

"The basic bitch in me has Snow Fairy from the 1st of December" - I fucking loathe her constantly calling shit "basic bitch", especially since she constantly tells people not to go by society standards, don't let society tell you what to do etc and if you like something just get it - she's creating this whole thing of being looked down upon just because she orders a PSL from Starbucks or just gets the most popular fragrance from a fucking soap shop, every time she says I roll my eyes, it's so fucking pathetic.

First out the Lush bag is.... a Yankee candle from Clinton's cards. Okay. It's called Warm and Cosy, "and it smells like it should, warm and cosy"

I really wish she'd get her hair chopped off back into a bob, the other side of her hairline is just as awful. I can't believe she still claims she has loads of thick hair... actually she still claims she's a size 14... so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised.

From Lush she got..... well she's not sure because now she wishes she got the labels put on them so she knows what they're called. Clearly a very well thought out vlogmas here folks.

"First one we got here.... which is...... a..... bath bomb........... ugh I'm so sorry I'm a terrible Lush fan!" she says struggling to even remember the name of the first item, clearly not going to look it up on your phone and tell us then, Helga? Of course not. That would be TOO much work

She got this one for Fil because he's been such a good Kirby EGG and doing all his revising, oh she's complaining about her camera never being good at focusing on anything. This is quality content. She's now counting to 11 to try and get it to focus, yep she included the counting part and it's finally focused "Great. Nice one." she says.

She sniffs the bath bomb "smells very Lush"

She's allowing Fil to treat himself to a lovely bath after he's done all his revision. Because she has to control how Fil treats himself by doing the shit she likes doing.

We're going through the other 7 Lush shite she got (she automatically went to eat one of the bath bombs instead of smelling it)

She's now going to have to have a bath before bed as she has a lot on her mind and is having rubbish sleep.

She's rubbish at describing what these things smell like "I can't describe it... very calming... a strong smell... but a relaxing smell...."

She likes her fresher smelling bath bombs for her day bath, and calming ones for her night bath....

Apparently she ALWAYS has a "barf" on a Saturday. Tonight she's going to have one then Fil's going to have one.

She's now off to do some work, so will catch us later.

Cut to later and she's running a bath and we get to watch her fill up her bath basket with all her gifted Body Shop bubble bath and all her Lush stuff she bought

Now we get to sit with her while she's naked in the bath. Fun. She's found a chilled album to listen to, she blares it on her phone

"GOODBYE!!!!" she yells over the music.

That's it.

 

[Lunamoon22]

VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 11 - 13
Wrapping my presets & A weekend of Joy

Oh, now she's clickbaited the title to
The only part of Christmas I Hate

Gotta get the views somehow ​

[DESCRIPTION: I wrapped my gifts with the help of Prosecco. We did some last minute shopping, Phil did some decorating, then sunday a roast was had!]

She greets us gurning and slurring "Welcome black to vlogmas"

"It's been a jolly good weekend, and I'm here to report on wot 'appened"

Friday flashback time:

Montage of her lighting various candles, grabbing a glass and a bottle of Prosecco.

Oh good lord she looks a fucking fright!

She actually thinks this is a festive look.....

Today she's going to wrapping presents - which she's been wanting to do for a while and she just wants to put them "unda neef der chreeee"

So today we're going to see what she's got in terms of wrapping paper... and she traditionally gets hers from Paperchase. She's a HUGE fan of they're wrapping and cards.

"I like to go on their website and see wot dey got, and every year I get sumfink different... It's kinda like... collecting... wrapping paper....ish"

She pulls a weird face. Obviously realizing that she sounds incredibly stupid. She grabs a bottle of Prosecco to help her wrap.

"If I'm quite honest with you I LOVE BUYING WRAPPING PAPER, I like decoratin' fings, but the actual act of wrapping.... I 'ate it, so I got some 'elp from a little friend of mine to make it a little bit more interesting..." She pops open the bottle.

"ah! That's better. It's Friday as well."

So she shows us her wrapping paper theme.... first up is gingerbread, next is Christmas trees - she starts stuttering over what to call brown paper "Is it that natural paper? It.. It... It is paper". Next is nutcrackers.... so far I'm not seeing the "theme" She got bottle bags for just in cases, and some gift bags and gift boxes.

She can't pronounce "recipient" and says "resiprertant"

Show us some hamper filling, cheap off Amazon

Some black tissue paper for Fil's birthday present

And finally a gift wrap accessory pack

We're wrapping all of Fil's gifts first because he's going to be home soon.

She says she's going to hate every second of wrapping - cue montage.

Cut to present day - she put all of Fil's gifts at the back of the tree "he 'ad a little poke around, and I shouted at 'im"

She managed to drink TWO bottles of Prosecco Friday

"It's been a while since I drank.... in excess...."

"...I suppose..."

It was a fun night, she watched a film and ordered a Deliveroo

Next day (Saturday) they woke up early as she wanted to go into town on the busiest day to do some last minute Christmas shopping.

They got there so early that the shops weren't open, so they went and got a coffee.

Slow mo flashback montage and voice over Helga says that she was starving so they got brunch out.

"We get 'ome.... I finish doing some wrapping.... Fil goes to the pub with his friends... for a couple of 'bev-er-rah-ges'"

And as she bought herself a new microwave to replace the broken one... she replaced the broken microwave "rest in peace old friend"

Fuck me, we're having a flash back of this moment. Really?

"you did serve me well"

We have to witness her talking to herself, whilst switch in on "yay it works! LOOK AT THAT! BACK IN BUSINESS BABY"

Present day Hlega says that Fil returns "all is well" but he wants to go out and get some tinsel and she "gave him the job of putting up the tinsel where HE wants to put the tinsel"

Cut to past Kirby Egg looking pleased that he's got his tinsel and describes to us all the colours that we can get tinsel in. He's well precious.

He's going up the stairs wrapping the tinsel around the banister whilst talking to himself, because Helga has clipped that fucking microphone on him and told him to walk and talk Helga style.

Helga comments how she's never had tinsel on the stairs before.

She now conducts an interview and asks Fil what his favorite thing is about Christmas.

"erm... eating... drinking.... being with... people.... and being merry"

Helga asks what his favorite thing to eat is, "cheeeeese" Fil replies

She asks him what he hopes Santa Claus has brought him this year, "errrr, a Porche 911 Turbo S

And Kirby Egg's all done with the tinsel

"Well done" says Jelly Belly

Now he's going on about how nice the tinsel looks.... HE IS SO BORING.

Helen now suggest we go look at the Christmas tree ornament Fil chose, because he doesn't have one yet - we see he has got himself a Tiger King ornament placed snugly among the other collection of ex-boyfriends ornaments. Also.... remember when Helga ranted about the Tiger King being over rated. Suddenly she loves it because Fil does?

Fil does all the Tiger King impressions. They suck.

She asks Fil what they should do now... You can see Fil desperatly wants to say play COD but he says they are going to chill and watch something on telly.

Present day Helga goes on to say they finished the evening making the final Gusto recipe "a sort of a kiev, which wasn't a kiev, but said it was a kiev, but it wasn't a kiev, because kiev's have fillings inside whereas this you had a filling on top...."

"it was a FESTIVE kiev"

Flashback to Sunday - she had a bath because she didn't have her weekly Saturday one, so she made up for it on Sunday

She popped over to her sister's to say hello to her nieces as she hadn't seen them for a while.

Then went off to Bread Source for doughnuts which she's never experienced before "hhhhhhhhh omg sooooo good" she drools

Later on they went out for a roast with Andy and Grace

Cut to a flashback of Helga interviewing Andy about what he's just eaten

"and that was my weekend!" She smiles, quickly turning her mouth upside down "I'm very much looking forward to *sigh* another week of vlogmas...."

Say it one more time with feeling, Helga.

"Christmas is next week, and I'm soooo excited! I keep getting all emosh, like I keep getting overwhelmed wiv 'ow excited I am about Christmas. Like I wanna cry... about Christmas..... cos I'm so excited and happy"

Probably because she finally has a man sticking around for one.

That's it.

 

[Lunamoon22]

Was just catching the bf up on Helens video today - I couldn't for the life of me remember what happened today except she spoke about her pubes for 6 mins straight

My brain is actively choosing to immediately forget what I've just watched she's that boring at the moment.

View attachment 348310

Unless she got her pubes lasered into the shape of a Christmas tree, or put tinsel down there, then that's not fucking encapsulating Christmas

 

[Albert_Chris]

Maybe the tree retrieval in her fur coat and gown was the nail in the relationship coffin

I'm sitting here waiting for the xmas break up.

 

[tsuyu]

I find it hilarious that she thought it was okay for someone to travel into a tier 3 area, BUT people in a tier 3 area could not travel outside of their area
???? Make it make sense

I think it's good she apologised (not sure how sincere it was) but I don't think she should share the footage of her in London. I don't care if she had a great time, try telling the families of the 65k people who have lost their lives to COVID that you had a great time travelling into london the first day they were in a tier 3 to get your hair done. Try telling that to the hundreds, if not thousands of businesses that have had to shut because of people like her breaking the rules.

 

[luckyblue]

I’m certain sure forced maff to propose again because she didn’t like the first proposal??! She screams controlling

Yes, as I remember he put the ring in a hat he had sitting somewhere in the hotel. He casually asked her to get him his hat and she was like “get it yourself” and it started an argument because he was obviously frustrated that she wouldn’t just pick up the bloody hat. I dunno how she thought she would come across well in that story, I’m not a servant but if my partner asked me to grab something for them I usually do unless I’m wrecked, and vice versa. Not that it was the most romantic idea in the first place, but the fight didn’t make it better.

 

[sorenips]

10:38 is peak unhinged behaviour. Sets the camera up to film herself fake-leaving the office, then fake-going inside, all the while fake-talking to herself. The molluscs lap it up "oh Helen haha it's so funny that you talk to yourself", but (like Luna said about the cringey AF dog walk shot where she clearly set the camera up, ran back then walked towards it) don't these morons see that she's not just chattering away to herself - it's completely contrived! She's gone to so much effort to make such boring content. And pretends she's talking to herself because she wants to be this ridiculous drunk, mumbling aunt figure. And the molluscs don't have the critical thinking skills to realise how fake it all is.

It makes me cringe so hard to imagine her setting the camera up and waddling back to wherever she was, before performing her bizarre act.

 

[Lunamoon22]

My favourite part was her "mmmming" before she even put the straw in her mouth

 

[tsuyu]

VIDEO SUMMARY:
Vlogmas Day 15
My Current Favourite Everyday look GRWM
​

[DESCRIPTION: For today's vlogmas I wanted to share my current favourite everyday look. Enjoy!]

Starting off the vlog looking at her naked chubby legs and scabby heels as she strips off and gets into the bath

View attachment 349331

Now we're cutting to her sitting down getting ready.

She's already lost count on what number she's up to on vlogmas. Really?

View attachment 349334

For today's vlogmas she wants to do a chill 'get ready with me' just coz.

"Im really liking my routine at the moment" she mumbles whilst fingering her spots around her mouth

View attachment 349340

"so I wanna film it" she shrugs, CLEARLY out of ideas for vlogmas. She wipes her nose with the same fingers she just rubbed all over her spots.

So far today she went to bootcamp, walked the dogs, tidied the WHOLE house - she said she took her time with that and it took a while.

Now she's scratching the nape of her neck.

"Just coz" she rolls her eyes.

"I dun ma emails n ad sum lunch and then got ready" So wait, have we already skipped the getting ready part?

"now I'm getting ready" dammit.

"Don't really av much to do today, which is quite kewl"

"not been too busy today. I'll pop out later" of course you will, when are you never off out somewhere during a pandemic?

She's quite excited about getting ready and had her bin bag shirt in mind for what she wanted to wear - she got another freebie from Megan Ellaby and she's wearing that underneath the bin bag.

"dis is lyke a fake levva shirt fing, just fil kewl"

Here we go with shoving a bunch of shit on her face. I can just feeeeeel CHRISTMAS being ENCAPSULATED into EVERY VLOG.

not.​

"LA ROSHHH POSSSSAY" She tries to pronounce her vitamin C serum

"I'm gettin' ma 'air dun tomorrow n I'm reallly excited" she says "I woz worried cuz Landan is going into tier free, but 'airdressers n shops are still lyke.... PERSONAL SERVICES and shops are still stayin' open... It's just pubs n restaurants n stuff lyke dat av gotta close"

View attachment 349355

She gives us a full nostril view.

"I'm Im I'm a little bit nervous...." she says after just saying how excited she is about it, "bout goin' ta Landa naow they're going inta tier free..."

"I.... I know that gettin' yer 'air dun isn't essential... but I'm just finkin' about going.... lyke.... DRIVIN' there, so I'm in my car, going straight there and back again" sure that will fool old Covid if you're in and out of London in a flash, Helen

She says that she KNOWS the salon is super clean and safe. Sure, Jan.

"WOTEVA. It's just.... it's just a bit NERVY"

"Once the vitamin C is in my face... SORRY!!!! I FEEL REALLY CHILL TODAY!!!! So I'm just REALLY like 'YEAHHHH MANNNN'" She sways like she's high on something.

"No reason though! Don't worry!" she quickly says

"I'm not on anything" she half opens her eyes

"I'm just feeling really chill"

View attachment 349382

Shoves on some more products - does a weird "YEAAAAAY" at her Bare Minerals freebies she got sent

View attachment 349386

"Smoothness.... SMOOTHNESS!!!!"

She reads out her new free products as if she was advertising them....

"AWWWWW YEAAAAH!!!"

She itches her ear with her spot/nose prodding finger

View attachment 349395

"This other stuff came from another brand" she grabs more product to advertise.

She got some anti aging stuff "coz I'm gettin' old"

"I don't really talk about skin care that much" she sticks another finger in her ear,

View attachment 349401

"just kinda a bit basic wiv it, like sum people are really really really gud at skincare" she throws her head back and shows us her nostrils again

View attachment 349403

"and they tawk abaowt it like their pashin' whereas I'm just, well, I just use wot I need" or use what is free you mean.... "It's just not that exciting!" neither is this video, Helga.

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She turns into a toad.

She says how she likes sticking to the same shit "maybe I should talk about it more? I dunno?" she shrugs. Please don't Helen, your skin is shit.

She then backtracks and thinks she wouldn't be good at it as the field is already saturated with people who actually know what they're talking about.

So Christmassy.

Shoves some more shit on her face. Says her bare minerals shit she has to be careful when she puts it onto her brush as it has fallen off before and landed on her clothes.

She worries that sometimes when she wears make up it just sits on top of her face (it does) but this Bare Minerals shit feels like its going in

"AHHHH! LOOOOVELY!" she squeals

Puts on concealer next but wonders why it's got a lot of crap all over the bottle - there's no method to putting this on, she just slaps it ALLLL over.

Bronzer time. "I've been lovin' doin' vlogmas by der way... I woz really nervous and like fort it woz gunna be a really dauntin', overwhelmin' crazy fing to do. To be honest, it's been quite managable" That's what happens when you put no effort into it and take 2 days off every week for a month long filming and uploading every single day challenge, idiot.

She continues piling on the bronzer. Her cheeks must be sore from all this rubbing.

"normally I would be going to Landaaaan" ....you're going there tomorrow Helen...

"I'm glad that it's going down well" girl... have you SEEN your VIEWS???

"the support in the comments is sooo nice. I do I do I do get nervous about uploading these days. Not as strong as I used to be guys." she couldn't hold in that laugh.

She opens her blusher "God, make up is GROSS innit?"

"Bitta Pat Trick Tarr blush"..... wait.... did she fuck up saying PATRICK STAR?! Jesus Christ.

"mine dirteee" she complains, seriously she's not even saying words properly now....

"It's just got bits of finga prints on n everyfing"

She's trying to figure out how she's going to upload on Christmas, she might do from the 23rd onward as one loooong video, as she doesn't want to work and do editing. She can't believe some people do their 'what I got for Christmas' videos all filmed, edited and uploaded on Christmas day. (dem's the people who get the views Helen, if you want them - you gotta work for them!)

"I mean that's not being disrespectful..... like do wot you want, but I just don't understand, me I'm like just enjoy the bloody break, have time with yer family, like av a break from uploadin for the day, I'm sure that can wait..... that's just me though coz I fink it's really important to really have a lovely chill time on Christmas day and I fink like, yeah, it's like GIVE IT A REST lol GIVE IT A REST"

Reminds us that Christmas eve is Fil's birthday and that they're going away for it.

Continues to yap on about how she's going to film and upload around her relaxing holiday

She's shoving on her eyebrows now

"I'm I'm I'm I've kinda of, I'm at peace now with the current situation in terms or restrictions and lock down" she lieeees, "yeah, I've kinda had my peace with knowing now that I won't be able to see as many people as I'd like as I'd like to or like my family and I am just excited for Christmas now"

This vlog is soooooo dull

She says Fil's all excited and every night when they go to bed they're all eeeee! excited! She's glad that she's with someone who's excitable.

She fingers her nude eye shadow, slams her finger into her eyelid and swirls it around. Gross.

She says that restrictions in a way takes a lot of the pressure off of being here, there, and everywhere - so THAT'S the silver lining for her, the fact that she can be chill.

Complains that her mascara is covered with concealer

"you know wot the secret to ma eye lashes are? Cos they're lookin' PENG.... LVL lash lift"

Lip gloss slapped on takes off her hairband, and "ahhh!" she got her hairband caught in her skanky hair extensions

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"errr bloomin' 'ell" she says

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"Ewww look at that"

She now tells us how she looooove wearing her hair up in a low bun now, something that she 'could NEVER do before' (but has done before)

"I neva fort I could pull off day chill, cool girl, easy going vibe" ...you still can't Helga.

"I can do wot I want, I can be who I want, yer just gotta OWN it"

Now she gets her dyson air wrap, and slaps some free Matalan earrings in her "cat bum" she says

Struggles to get her earrings in her second holes "WOT YER SAYIN!" she yells at it, the earring isn't saying anything.

"I feel really TRENDY when I look like this" She says, while her bin bag top rustling around

"my style's quite eclectic and I don't want people to fink I'm a fake.... but I really like this"

Rings are shoved on to her sausage hands and she's done

She's going to edit this now and go to the post office and then run some errands (aka go shopping and meet up with people most likely)

And that's it, another SUPER CHRISTMASSY vlog. Such festiveness, such encapsulation, much Christmas.

You need an award for doing these amazing summaries everytime she uploads

 

[Lunamoon22]

What horrendous attacks????

Is this Helga or one of her mates commenting and making shit up to try to play the "Helen is the victim" card?