I was thinking the same thing. I still think her blush/bronzer placement is way off but I love the pared down mascara and red lipstick look with the low messy bun.She looks really pretty with her hair like that actually. Probably helped by the filter but I refuse to believe she doesn’t know it looks good
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Very true! My badJust wanna say Lola is not a dachshund like Helen keep saying. Shes a cross between a Jack russel & dachshund
good god, Lola looks so sad in her new ad though..Is anyone else surprised she didn’t jump on the animal crossing train everyone was on at the beginning of lockdown? She takes up every other hobby as soon as it’s trending, dunno why she skipped that one.
I didn’t get this Neither. It made no sense... I actually thought it was a really really bad ad for something 
she’s always got her hair up. Wearing her hair lower like she is I guess Could be Stop more balding.. but she won’t want to say that.
she’s always got her hair up. Wearing her hair lower like she is I guess Could be Stop more balding.. but she won’t want to say that.
why oh why can’t you just let your dogs go to sleep in their sad shared bed in a closed off utility room? 
Not really, but only because she’d have to be creative and it’s kind of a social game, so there’s that out the window
Attachments
She was too busy playing the Sims - creating mini versions of her and Fil then turning to Fil and saying:
"heh heh heh heh heh, look Fil, look! I made us! And look, we're woo-hooing in bed! Look Fil, Fil look! You just asked me to marry you! Look Fil! Look wot our babies will look like! Look Fil, Fil why aren't you looking! Stop playing Call of Duty and look at our Sim family!"
Probably couldn't get a Switch for free at the first launch then wasn't able to buy one because they were sold out.
I can imagine her furiously emailing Nintendo asking when they'd be restocked or sent to her because she needs one to promote to her
...just started watching the latest and just wondering why she said "welcome black to vlogmas" tbh, can't be arsed to talk properly at all anymore I guess?
VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 11 - 13
Wrapping my presets & A weekend of Joy
Oh, now she's clickbaited the title to
The only part of Christmas I Hate
Gotta get the views somehow
Vlogmas Day 11 - 13
Wrapping my presets & A weekend of Joy
Oh, now she's clickbaited the title to
The only part of Christmas I Hate
Gotta get the views somehow
[DESCRIPTION: I wrapped my gifts with the help of Prosecco. We did some last minute shopping, Phil did some decorating, then sunday a roast was had!]
She greets us gurning and slurring "Welcome black to vlogmas"
"It's been a jolly good weekend, and I'm here to report on wot 'appened"
Friday flashback time:
Montage of her lighting various candles, grabbing a glass and a bottle of Prosecco.
Oh good lord she looks a bleeping fright!
She actually thinks this is a festive look.....
Today she's going to wrapping presents - which she's been wanting to do for a while and she just wants to put them "unda neef der chreeee"
So today we're going to see what she's got in terms of wrapping paper... and she traditionally gets hers from Paperchase. She's a HUGE fan of they're wrapping and cards.
"I like to go on their website and see wot dey got, and every year I get sumfink different... It's kinda like... collecting... wrapping paper....ish"
She pulls a weird face. Obviously realizing that she sounds incredibly stupid. She grabs a bottle of Prosecco to help her wrap.
"If I'm quite honest with you I LOVE BUYING WRAPPING PAPER, I like decoratin' fings, but the actual act of wrapping.... I 'ate it, so I got some 'elp from a little friend of mine to make it a little bit more interesting..." She pops open the bottle.
"ah! That's better. It's Friday as well."
So she shows us her wrapping paper theme.... first up is gingerbread, next is Christmas trees - she starts stuttering over what to call brown paper "Is it that natural paper? It.. It... It is paper". Next is nutcrackers.... so far I'm not seeing the "theme" She got bottle bags for just in cases, and some gift bags and gift boxes.
She can't pronounce "recipient" and says "resiprertant"
Show us some hamper filling, cheap off Amazon
Some black tissue paper for Fil's birthday present
And finally a gift wrap accessory pack
We're wrapping all of Fil's gifts first because he's going to be home soon.
She says she's going to hate every second of wrapping - cue montage.
Cut to present day - she put all of Fil's gifts at the back of the tree "he 'ad a little poke around, and I shouted at 'im"
She managed to drink TWO bottles of Prosecco Friday
"It's been a while since I drank.... in excess...."
"...I suppose..."
It was a fun night, she watched a film and ordered a Deliveroo
Next day (Saturday) they woke up early as she wanted to go into town on the busiest day to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
They got there so early that the shops weren't open, so they went and got a coffee.
Slow mo flashback montage and voice over Helga says that she was starving so they got brunch out.
"We get 'ome.... I finish doing some wrapping.... Fil goes to the pub with his friends... for a couple of 'bev-er-rah-ges'"
And as she bought herself a new microwave to replace the broken one... she replaced the broken microwave "rest in peace old friend"
duck me, we're having a flash back of this moment. Really?
"you did serve me well"
We have to witness her talking to herself, whilst switch in on "yay it works! LOOK AT THAT! BACK IN BUSINESS BABY"
Present day Hlega says that Fil returns "all is well" but he wants to go out and get some tinsel and she "gave him the job of putting up the tinsel where HE wants to put the tinsel"
Cut to past Kirby Egg looking pleased that he's got his tinsel and describes to us all the colours that we can get tinsel in. He's well precious.
He's going up the stairs wrapping the tinsel around the banister whilst talking to himself, because Helga has clipped that bleeping microphone on him and told him to walk and talk Helga style.
Helga comments how she's never had tinsel on the stairs before.
She now conducts an interview and asks Fil what his favorite thing is about Christmas.
"erm... eating... drinking.... being with... people.... and being merry"
Helga asks what his favorite thing to eat is, "cheeeeese" Fil replies
She asks him what he hopes Santa Claus has brought him this year, "errrr, a Porche 911 Turbo S
And Kirby Egg's all done with the tinsel
"Well done" says Jelly Belly
Now he's going on about how nice the tinsel looks.... HE IS SO BORING.
Helen now suggest we go look at the Christmas tree ornament Fil chose, because he doesn't have one yet - we see he has got himself a Tiger King ornament placed snugly among the other collection of ex-boyfriends ornaments. Also.... remember when Helga ranted about the Tiger King being over rated. Suddenly she loves it because Fil does?
Fil does all the Tiger King impressions. They suck.
She asks Fil what they should do now... You can see Fil desperatly wants to say play COD but he says they are going to chill and watch something on telly.
Present day Helga goes on to say they finished the evening making the final Gusto recipe "a sort of a kiev, which wasn't a kiev, but said it was a kiev, but it wasn't a kiev, because kiev's have fillings inside whereas this you had a filling on top...."
"it was a FESTIVE kiev"
Flashback to Sunday - she had a bath because she didn't have her weekly Saturday one, so she made up for it on Sunday
She popped over to her sister's to say hello to her nieces as she hadn't seen them for a while.
Then went off to Bread Source for doughnuts which she's never experienced before "hhhhhhhhh omg sooooo good" she drools
Later on they went out for a roast with Andy and Grace
Cut to a flashback of Helga interviewing Andy about what he's just eaten
"and that was my weekend!" She smiles, quickly turning her mouth upside down "I'm very much looking forward to *sigh* another week of vlogmas...."
Say it one more time with feeling, Helga.
"Christmas is next week, and I'm soooo excited! I keep getting all emosh, like I keep getting overwhelmed wiv 'ow excited I am about Christmas. Like I wanna cry... about Christmas..... cos I'm so excited and happy"
Probably because she finally has a man sticking around for one.
That's it.
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Why is she going out for a roast with Andy and Grace when we’re still in tier 2 in Norfolk and can’t go for a meal with anyone outside of our own household. Oh yeah because she’s a selfish covid denying dick head that can’t follow any form of rules because it upsets her and her social life too much. Piss off Helen you prick.VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 11 - 13
Wrapping my presets & A weekend of Joy
Oh, now she's clickbaited the title to "The only part of Christmas I Hate
Gotta get the views somehow
[DESCRIPTION: I wrapped my gifts with the help of Prosecco. We did some last minute shopping, Phil did some decorating, then sunday a roast was had!]
She greets us gurning and slurring "Welcome black to vlogmas"
View attachment 346720
"It's been a jolly good weekend, and I'm here to report on wot 'appened"
Friday flashback time:
Montage of her lighting various candles, grabbing a glass and a bottle of Prosecco.
Oh good lord she looks a bleeping fright!
View attachment 346724
She actually thinks this is a festive look.....
Today she's going to wrapping presents - which she's been wanting to do for a while and she just wants to put them "unda neef der chreeee"
View attachment 346727
So today we're going to see what she's got in terms of wrapping paper... and she traditionally gets hers from Paperchase. She's a HUGE fan of they're wrapping and cards.
"I like to go on their website and see wot dey got, and every year I get sumfink different... It's kinda like... collecting... wrapping paper....ish"
View attachment 346734
She pulls a weird face. Obviously realizing that she sounds incredibly stupid. She grabs a bottle of Prosecco to help her wrap.
"If I'm quite honest with you I LOVE BUYING WRAPPING PAPER, I like decoratin' fings, but the actual act of wrapping.... I 'ate it, so I got some 'elp from a little friend of mine to make it a little bit more interesting..." She pops open the bottle.
"ah! That's better. It's Friday as well."
View attachment 346751
So she shows us her wrapping paper theme.... first up is gingerbread, next is Christmas trees - she starts stuttering over what to call brown paper "Is it that natural paper? It.. It... It is paper". Next is nutcrackers.... so far I'm not seeing the "theme" She got bottle bags for just in cases, and some gift bags and gift boxes.
She can't pronounce "recipient" and says "resiprertant"
Show us some hamper filling, cheap off Amazon
Some black tissue paper for Fil's birthday present
And finally a gift wrap accessory pack
We're wrapping all of Fil's gifts first because he's going to be home soon.
She says she's going to hate every second of wrapping - cue montage.
Cut to present day - she put all of Fil's gifts at the back of the tree "he 'ad a little poke around, and I shouted at 'im"
She managed to drink TWO bottles of Prosecco Friday
"It's been a while since I drank.... in excess...."
View attachment 346765
"...I suppose..."
View attachment 346768
View attachment 346772
It was a fun night, she watched a film and ordered a Deliveroo
Next day (Saturday) they woke up early as she wanted to go into town on the busiest day to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
They got there so early that the shops weren't open, so they went and got a coffee.
Slow mo flashback montage and voice over Helga says that she was starving so they got brunch out.
"We get 'ome.... I finish doing some wrapping.... Fil goes to the pub with his friends... for a couple of 'bev-er-rah-ges'"
View attachment 346781
And as she bought herself a new microwave to replace the broken one... she replaced the broken microwave "rest in peace old friend"
duck me, we're having a flash back of this moment. Really?
"you did serve me well"
We have to witness her talking to herself, whilst switch in on "yay it works! LOOK AT THAT! BACK IN BUSINESS BABY"
Present day Hlega says that Fil returns "all is well" but he wants to go out and get some tinsel and she "gave him the job of putting up the tinsel where HE wants to put the tinsel"
Cut to past Kirby Egg looking pleased that he's got his tinsel and describes to us all the colours that we can get tinsel in. He's well precious.
He's going up the stairs wrapping the tinsel around the banister whilst talking to himself, because Helga has clipped that bleeping microphone on him and told him to walk and talk Helga style.
Helga comments how she's never had tinsel on the stairs before.
She now conducts an interview and asks Fil what his favorite thing is about Christmas.
"erm... eating... drinking.... being with... people.... and being merry"
Helga asks what his favorite thing to eat is, "cheeeeese" Fil replies
She asks him what he hopes Santa Claus has brought him this year, "errrr, a Porche 911 Turbo S
And Kirby Egg's all done with the tinsel
"Well done" says Jelly Belly
Now he's going on about how nice the tinsel looks.... HE IS SO BORING.
Helen now suggest we go look at the Christmas ornament Fil chose, because he doesn't have one yet - we see he has got himself a Tiger King ornament placed snugly among the other collection of ex-boyfriends ornaments. Also.... remember when Helga ranted about the Tiger King being over rated. Suddenly she loves it because Fil does?
Fil does all the Tiger King impressions. They suck.
She asks Fil what they should do now... You can see Fil desperatly wants to say play COD but he says they are going to chill and watch something on telly.
Present day Helga goes on to say they finished the evening making the final Gusto recipe "a sort of a kiev, which wasn't a kiev, but said it was a kiev, but it wasn't a kiev, because kiev's have fillings inside whereas this you had a filling on top...."
View attachment 346815
"it was a FESTIVE kiev"
Flashback to Sunday - she had a bath because she didn't have her weekly Saturday one, so she made up for it on Sunday
She popped over to her sister's to say hello to her nieces as she hadn't seen them for a while.
Then went off to Bread Source for doughnuts which she's never experienced before "hhhhhhhhh omg sooooo good" she drools
Later on they went out for a roast with Andy and Grace
Cut to a flashback of Helga interviewing Andy about what he's just eaten
"and that was my weekend!" She smiles, quickly turning her mouth upside down "I'm very much looking forward to *sigh* another week of vlogmas...."
Say it one more time with feeling, Helga.
View attachment 346832
"Christmas is next week, and I'm soooo excited! I keep getting all emosh, like I keep getting overwhelmed wiv 'ow excited I am about Christmas. Like I wanna cry... about Christmas..... cos I'm so excited and happy"
View attachment 346834
Probably because she finally has a man sticking around for one.
That's it.
Does anyone else really care about Christmas THIS MUCH?VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 11 - 13
Wrapping my presets & A weekend of Joy
Oh, now she's clickbaited the title to
The only part of Christmas I Hate
Gotta get the views somehow
[DESCRIPTION: I wrapped my gifts with the help of Prosecco. We did some last minute shopping, Phil did some decorating, then sunday a roast was had!]
She greets us gurning and slurring "Welcome black to vlogmas"
View attachment 346720
"It's been a jolly good weekend, and I'm here to report on wot 'appened"
Friday flashback time:
Montage of her lighting various candles, grabbing a glass and a bottle of Prosecco.
Oh good lord she looks a bleeping fright!
View attachment 346724
She actually thinks this is a festive look.....
Today she's going to wrapping presents - which she's been wanting to do for a while and she just wants to put them "unda neef der chreeee"
View attachment 346727
So today we're going to see what she's got in terms of wrapping paper... and she traditionally gets hers from Paperchase. She's a HUGE fan of they're wrapping and cards.
"I like to go on their website and see wot dey got, and every year I get sumfink different... It's kinda like... collecting... wrapping paper....ish"
View attachment 346734
She pulls a weird face. Obviously realizing that she sounds incredibly stupid. She grabs a bottle of Prosecco to help her wrap.
"If I'm quite honest with you I LOVE BUYING WRAPPING PAPER, I like decoratin' fings, but the actual act of wrapping.... I 'ate it, so I got some 'elp from a little friend of mine to make it a little bit more interesting..." She pops open the bottle.
"ah! That's better. It's Friday as well."
View attachment 346751
So she shows us her wrapping paper theme.... first up is gingerbread, next is Christmas trees - she starts stuttering over what to call brown paper "Is it that natural paper? It.. It... It is paper". Next is nutcrackers.... so far I'm not seeing the "theme" She got bottle bags for just in cases, and some gift bags and gift boxes.
She can't pronounce "recipient" and says "resiprertant"
Show us some hamper filling, cheap off Amazon
Some black tissue paper for Fil's birthday present
And finally a gift wrap accessory pack
We're wrapping all of Fil's gifts first because he's going to be home soon.
She says she's going to hate every second of wrapping - cue montage.
Cut to present day - she put all of Fil's gifts at the back of the tree "he 'ad a little poke around, and I shouted at 'im"
She managed to drink TWO bottles of Prosecco Friday
"It's been a while since I drank.... in excess...."
View attachment 346765
"...I suppose..."
View attachment 346768
View attachment 346772
It was a fun night, she watched a film and ordered a Deliveroo
Next day (Saturday) they woke up early as she wanted to go into town on the busiest day to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
They got there so early that the shops weren't open, so they went and got a coffee.
Slow mo flashback montage and voice over Helga says that she was starving so they got brunch out.
"We get 'ome.... I finish doing some wrapping.... Fil goes to the pub with his friends... for a couple of 'bev-er-rah-ges'"
View attachment 346781
And as she bought herself a new microwave to replace the broken one... she replaced the broken microwave "rest in peace old friend"
duck me, we're having a flash back of this moment. Really?
"you did serve me well"
We have to witness her talking to herself, whilst switch in on "yay it works! LOOK AT THAT! BACK IN BUSINESS BABY"
Present day Hlega says that Fil returns "all is well" but he wants to go out and get some tinsel and she "gave him the job of putting up the tinsel where HE wants to put the tinsel"
Cut to past Kirby Egg looking pleased that he's got his tinsel and describes to us all the colours that we can get tinsel in. He's well precious.
He's going up the stairs wrapping the tinsel around the banister whilst talking to himself, because Helga has clipped that bleeping microphone on him and told him to walk and talk Helga style.
Helga comments how she's never had tinsel on the stairs before.
She now conducts an interview and asks Fil what his favorite thing is about Christmas.
"erm... eating... drinking.... being with... people.... and being merry"
Helga asks what his favorite thing to eat is, "cheeeeese" Fil replies
She asks him what he hopes Santa Claus has brought him this year, "errrr, a Porche 911 Turbo S
And Kirby Egg's all done with the tinsel
"Well done" says Jelly Belly
Now he's going on about how nice the tinsel looks.... HE IS SO BORING.
Helen now suggest we go look at the Christmas ornament Fil chose, because he doesn't have one yet - we see he has got himself a Tiger King ornament placed snugly among the other collection of ex-boyfriends ornaments. Also.... remember when Helga ranted about the Tiger King being over rated. Suddenly she loves it because Fil does?
Fil does all the Tiger King impressions. They suck.
She asks Fil what they should do now... You can see Fil desperatly wants to say play COD but he says they are going to chill and watch something on telly.
Present day Helga goes on to say they finished the evening making the final Gusto recipe "a sort of a kiev, which wasn't a kiev, but said it was a kiev, but it wasn't a kiev, because kiev's have fillings inside whereas this you had a filling on top...."
View attachment 346815
"it was a FESTIVE kiev"
Flashback to Sunday - she had a bath because she didn't have her weekly Saturday one, so she made up for it on Sunday
She popped over to her sister's to say hello to her nieces as she hadn't seen them for a while.
Then went off to Bread Source for doughnuts which she's never experienced before "hhhhhhhhh omg sooooo good" she drools
Later on they went out for a roast with Andy and Grace
Cut to a flashback of Helga interviewing Andy about what he's just eaten
"and that was my weekend!" She smiles, quickly turning her mouth upside down "I'm very much looking forward to *sigh* another week of vlogmas...."
Say it one more time with feeling, Helga.
View attachment 346832
"Christmas is next week, and I'm soooo excited! I keep getting all emosh, like I keep getting overwhelmed wiv 'ow excited I am about Christmas. Like I wanna cry... about Christmas..... cos I'm so excited and happy"
View attachment 346834
Probably because she finally has a man sticking around for one.
That's it.
To make a menu spread sheet? To want to cry? Will she slash her wrists in January as she has nothing to look forward to?
Isn't where she lives in tier 2 and you can't just go out with some bevvies with your mates??? Unless Helens in some kind of different tier 2?
Please tell me people are questioning this in her comments
Please tell me people are questioning this in her comments
Yes, they are. Can you tell if they are outside when they are eating with Andy and Grace?
Attachments
.....Ummmmmmmm, they literally ask you at the door if you are in the same household.
Oh great, shes influencing again
Snap haha! No, I think they're inside... You can hear the kitchen and there is decorations hanging from the ceiling. Bit of a weird "outside"
Actually deceased this is gloriousSCENE: THE COUNSELLOR'S OFFICE
HELEN ENTERS, WEARING A GIANT FUR COAT AND A PAIR OF DIRTY CONVERSE. SHE IS WEARING A LOT OF MAKE-UP - HEAVY BLUE EYESHADOW, BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK AND HEAVY ORANGE BLUSHER. THE COUNSELLOR IS SAT IN A CHAIR, OPPOSITE AN EMPTY CHAIR.
Counsellor: Good morning, Helen
Helen: ORWOOOOOIGHT?
Counsellor: Yes, I'm great thank you, come and sit down
Helen: Ooh, I will, give me a second, I've been at boot camp and it was bum and leg day! Kat 'ad me doin' lunges! Me morning coffee was kickin' in and I made a right stench if ya know wot I mean!
Counsellor: That's not a problem, you can stand if you wa-
Helen: It made me laff though, Fil said last night that I've got a rotten bottom! He's so funny! He was playing on COD and I was 'avin a lovely Lush baff, bit of self-care ya know, and I did a little fart in the baff, and Fil 'eard it through 'is headset!
Counsellor: How funny. So how has your week bee-
Helen: Sorry, do ya mind if I 'ave a quick snack? I nipped into Waitrose on the way 'ere, I 'ad to get some kievs. I'm just gonna 'ave some crisps. Wanna get involved?
Counsellor: No thank you, I've just eaten. So how has your week been?
Helen: Orwoight really. I mean I've been 'avin the same problem though
Counsellor: Ok, do you think it's got worse, better or about the same?
HELEN SITS DOWN AND TAKES A TURKEY, STUFFING AND BACON SANDWICH OUT OF HER BAG, TAKES IT OUT OF ITS PACKET AND PUTS THE SANDWICH ON HER LAP. SHE OPENS A LARGE BAG OF SALT AND VINEGAR BALSAMIC KETTLE CHIPS, OPENS THE SANDWICH AND STARTS LAYERING CRISPS ON THE OPEN SANDWICH, BEFORE REASSEMBLING IT. SHE THEN SUCKS THE CRISP RESIDUE OFF EACH OF HER FINGERS BEFORE TUCKING INTO THE SANDWICH. THE COUNSELLOR GLANCES AT HER WATCH.
Helen: I fink it's worse actually. Like Fil says I'm ovafinkin it, but it's affectin' everyfin I do. I fink everyone is finkin it about me, I can tell everyone is judgin' me.
Counsellor: Do you think I'm judging you for it?
Helen: Well, yeah. I mean, everyone does. But I understand. It's hard for people to just see me for me wivout judgin' me.
Counsellor: I want you to know that I'm not judging you, Helen. Not at all.
Helen: Fanks, but like I said, I get it. It's all people see when they look at me. It's like they can't see the person, they just see "it"
HELEN MAKES ASIGN
Counsellor: So, you feel like you're just a label?
Helen: Yeah. It feels like I'm not a person wiv feelings. I'm not a successful influencer who works so 'ard ev'ry day. I'm not a loving dog owna. I'm not an amazin' best friend and girlfriend. I'm just one fing that people can't see past. I'm just...
HELEN SIGHS
Helen: I'm just alternative
FIN
Oh Helga, our little covid spreader. Back at it again.
I love how she thinks she knows better than someone who has a family bleeping restaurant
Yes, they are. Can you tell if they are outside when they are eating with Andy and Grace?
I love how she thinks she knows better than someone who has a family bleeping restaurant
What a witch? This person’s literally saying their family business is facing closure and she’s just like ACTUALLY YOU CAN IF YOU’RE OUTSIDE. Think someone who’s in the business knows better than her. She’s actually infuriating
I‘ve just had a quick look at the bit of the video where they’re eating out and it does look like they’re in some kind of outside gazebo/covered area so technically allowed I’m guessing. You see similar set ups in German cities in winter. But she was rude and insensitive and she should know better than to flaunt her meal out to her audience, many of whom can’t go anywhere. She could have just left that bit out.
?
Why is she wearing a black bra under a white top? Why
?
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