I'd promised this a long while ago, but I'm not Smegs so better late than never!
The dubbing is in Hindi and Punjabi, so adding the translation below. Video is not mine and it's not available from the original creator Bhuvan Bam, so can't add it to the video itself. Also, I don't recognise some people so you'll have to figure it out
Young guy: It's quite a big deal, paying for 500 guests
Woman: 540
Young guy: Oh my God
Older guy: Son, when we had our weddings, only ten guests used to attend.
Young guy: When was this?
Older guys: Ages ago.
Guests: Bitching bitching bitching, whispers, bitching about the groom, bitching about the bride. If we don't
witch, we'll get an itch. More whispers.
Corden: How are you doing?
Idris(?): I've come to have manchurian (a yummy dish).
Corden: I've also come to have kulfi (a yummy frozen dessert).
Idris(?): Hehehe *loving expletive*
Amal: I'd gone to the last wedding. They said I'd stolen their yellow platter. I said ask someone else. They said you're wearing it right now. I said 'whatever'.
Pippa: At my wedding I'd worn huge earrings. My ears had swollen up.
Carole: Must have hurt, no?
Pippa (expletively): Yes
Hyper woman in pink: Anjali OMG! We're meeting after third year (of college or whatever), *loving expletive*
Conductor (singing): Ask the world, ask the world, you belong only to me, I love you Sayoni (endearment)
Sad cellist(?): I'd never thought in my wildest dreams that I would be playing at my own girlfriend's wedding.
(singing to the tune of a heartbreak song)
You are someone else's stage, but someone else is climbing you
(Yep, it's double entendre)
Guy 1: The mandap (area in Hindu weddings with sacred fire etc where rituals are performed) has been set up quite far from the hotel. Guests have to walk a lot. They've spent so much, could have hired a rickshaw or two.
Guy 2: I agree, but where is your wife?
Guy1: She's further behind, walking slowly. Had to wear heels. I told her to wear sandals (usually flat/flatter/more comfy), but no, had to walk like a lame female dog (yeah I didn't like that either).
Annie our love: Hello Pandit ji (respectful for priest). You might not remember, but you'd married us.
Welby(?): Oh really?!
Anne: Yes, my husband had fallen in the mandap after getting drunk. You'd helped him up. Have you forgotten?
Welby: Oh yes, now I remember.
Tim (drunkenly): Thank you for lending a hand. Honoured to meet you.
Welby: He's drunk right now!
Michael Middleton: If the roof caves in, how will I save the people?
William: Listen little brother, I have kept four packets of Durex (condoms) in your pant pocket.
Sparry: clears throat
Smegs: Hiieeee babyyyy
Sparry: Am I getting married too fast? Bunty (addressing self), think again.
Guests (singing popular Bollywood wedding night song): It's the wedding night, I am lifting your veil
Welby: Looking at your faces, you're prepared to break the bed tonight, no?
Preacher(? - I'm sorry I don't remember the correct term): I have cleaned this much poop of Bunty's (Sparry). I mean, I'd estimate ten a day. No, twenty.
Charles giggling
Dorita: This old man is drunk again
Sparry: Uncle please stop
Preacher: Sparry would pee on his bed a lot, and would blame it on me. And the family would believe him because obviously uncle is a drunkard and therefore has a malfunctioning bladder
Sparry: I swear this is the only weirdo in my family
What is this? The paint is flaking off the ring?!
Suits guy: When will the cloches be lifted? I'm very hungry.
Beatrice: I hope the golgappa (yummy snack supposedly more popular amongst young girls but we all love them) guy hasn't left.
Welby: Okay repeat after me. I Bunty swear ...
Sparry: I Bunty have no other option...
Welby: I will sweep and mop
Sparry: I will sweep and mop
Welby: I will not mention any other woman in front of her
Sparry: You'll get me beaten up by her
Welby: And won't become a Male Chauvinist Pig
Sparry: We'll see
William: Your cab is here
Sparry: Yes we'll leave soon. Just two minutes more.
Welby: Now you say. I Sweety (Smegs) swear
Smegs: I Sweety swear
Welby: That I will let him hang out with his friends
Smegs: Only if he doesn't
duck around
Welby: Won't ask him for the tv remote during IPL (cricket)
Smegs: His father will also hand it over
Welby: Won't check his DMs
Smegs: Now this is too much
Sparry: I'll break the bed tonight
Smegs (expletively): Think quietly. We can all hear you.
Smegs: Stop Stop! My train is stuck!
Sparry: Who told you to wear a mosquito net?
Cabbie: Tell me the OTP
Sparry: 5769. Take the Ring Road, less traffic there.
(Last line they've cut off: Cabbie says he'll stop for petrol. It's a very typical interaction for us Indians
)
