Cleaning with Mario #80 Snakes oan this app, Marion hisses. His new scent is Be Inspired 1,000 Wishes

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Nae joke. I honestly thought the only place he'd fit those candy canes is up his bum! There's no more room in the flat with all the mugs and postbox.

That's the only place they will fit. Up his fat arse.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Go on @hopethishelpsallthebest kin we huv a wee Narnia jurney, Martin can be the ice queen and wee Deek kin be Mr Tumnus.

I don't know whether it's because I've had wine, but I couldn't stop laughing making these. Particularly the last one.

Am no trying to come oot a ma ain lane, we all know @hopethishelpsallthebest is the expert on these, nae debates.

I just wunner if maybes wan of the tress could double up as a wee bespoke outfit and so forth

Dead!

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

God help next year...

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Someone's been drinking the Destello, because this fat fuck is tripping.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Fucking hell Maz, we get you only got one life, that doesnae mean youse can take kids off the streets of Paisley willy nilly, so aye! Get back in your lane and leave them alone!

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Calm down Jimmy.

 

[TrashPanda69]

Hens I'm swerving right out my lane to let youse all know I have been promoted to "active member" on this app. This is a title that I didn't ask for, didn't want, but it was bespokely made to order and I treatit myself. I have this platform but its not my full time job. I won't call myself an "active member" but youse can clearly see it on ma page. Tonsa love hope yeez are aw well and I'm rambling shite as usual

 

[Ferguson]

I put the bedding on the line, and the duvet to air. Mr Dayn is WFH, gave him instructions that deek could follow... If it rain bring big white duvet in. So, home and duvet is sodden. Argh!!!

Ma lovely, I feel your pain.
Mr Ferg. Has also been WFH the day. I gave bespoke instructions to bring the bedding in if it rains.
Came hame. He's followed the instructions too clearly.
The toowels are still on the line soaking wet but the bedding is inside.

Me: why didnae you bring in the toowels when it rained?

Mr F: you only told me to bring in the bedding

Hes mare thick than wee Deek. Nae debates

 

[Madge2022]

Oh gooooaaad ma lovelies ah'm pure bespokely shiteing masel that you all think I'm Mario the noo. I pish masel laughin at this thread daily but don't post as I'm nowhere near funny enough.

Tell a lie, I did post here once but made an utter tit of myself thinking that Mario was browsing Lovehoney on his laptop when in fact it was a bespoke Photoshop

You have been ruled out of my enquiries my dear.

Nice to see so many shy lurkers now posting, you should all do it more.

If you have posted at least once on tattle on any thread you are off my Martin in disguise list.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

I'm getting pure bespoke Saville vibes off him now. He needs to stop being so creepy.

 

[#noinfluencer]

We're in for a wee treat on Friday ma lovelies.
Broon teddy bear Primark pyjammies, Ugg slippers, criss & joose

He's bought himself a new jumper to watch a film awn the telly.... HE'S ACTUALLY BOUGHT AN ITEM OF CLOTHING TO SIT IN THE FLAT TO WATCH A FILM!

Nah, enough is ENOUGH, I ain't 'aving it, lads!

 

[Madge2022]

Thread title suggestion:

Annual leave time and lo and behold, Shartin Martin has got the cold.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

View attachment 1609133

@hopethishelpsallthebest you know what tae do wi these elves ma lovely

 

[Bubbledoggyyeah]

Why’s he terrified? It’s not like he’s ever gonna go on a plane. Ffs

 

[Lorraine_the_lurker]

Hello you Nusty Trolls

Long time lurker, made maself a bespoke member today. Waitin for ma starter pack of shart card, avaaaa mae and ma DLA letter confirming my own disability (we all have our own hens).

I probably won’t comment much ma lovelies, I have full time joab that’s ma Joab, this isnae, nae debates.

won’t lie, Iv got ma favs (dawn and Margaret) keep up the good work hens, don’t be jealous the rest of youse, I won’t tolerant bar abuse, you’ll be mop kicked into next week so aye.

tonsa love, tatie hearts

ps, think my phone must think Iv had a strobe typing this

 

[Ferguson]

Am no trying to come oot a ma ain lane, we all know @hopethishelpsallthebest is the expert on these, nae debates.

I just wunner if maybes wan of the tress could double up as a wee bespoke outfit and so forth

 

[Poptart]

Apparently he's woken up to hunners of messages from hairdressers telling him not to YOUSE* the shampoo and conditioner he bought...

* Certainly not my fucking quote.

 

[Rayne]

Prof Brian Cox is absolutely shitting himself the night hens. Nae debates on ma page

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Putting him in the Barbie pink dress might have made him look livelier but he'd still have stood there with a face like thunder. Wonder what he was like at the hen party?

She had to leave the lassies early ma lovelie, to go to home bargains and back oan the 6pm mcgills bus, so aye.

Yaaay the wee woodlouse coat!

 

[SheWereActuallyInCar]

Oh gooooaaad ma lovelies ah'm pure bespokely shiteing masel that you all think I'm Mario the noo. I pish masel laughin at this thread daily but don't post as I'm nowhere near funny enough.

Tell a lie, I did post here once but made an utter tit of myself thinking that Mario was browsing Lovehoney on his laptop when in fact it was a bespoke Photoshop