Chit chat #19

[watermelon sugar]

My favourite flowers are sunflowers. My sister owns a flower shop and she always gifts us all with the most gorgeous flowers so my fella knows to not get me any cos I’m ok on the flower front I’d rather a bouquet of chicken nuggets

 

[Peaches_xox]

Right, so next time I say I’m cheating on my wax lady remind me not too. This is the second time I’ve cheated on her and neither have been a good experience.

So, usually I get waxed every 3 weeks by a lovely lady at her house called Ellie, but Ellie is sometimes fully booked or I can’t make a Monday so I thought fuck it and booked somewhere else. I arrive at a salon but they said it’s downstairs in the basement. That should have been a red flag really .. I see the lady. Her name is Maria. I realise her English isn’t great but that’s fine. She tells me to get undressed and call her so I do. I’m sat there for ages like ‘mariaaaaa’ ‘mariaaaaaa’ ‘hello…’ eventually she comes and she gets the talc powder out and I’m thinking Ellie don’t do this but okay. Now one thing about Ellie is, even though she’s waxing your fanny it doesn’t feel like her hands are all over it. It’s really comfortable, your dignity is in tact. Maria on the other hand was just rubbing this talc over me and I thought fucking hellllll why is she touching me like that. Anyway on with the waxing. She’s got my legs in all these weird positions and at points she’s having me hold it so she can pull the wax strip. Ellie doesn’t do that! The actual waxing itself was SO FUCKING PAINFUL and I’ve been getting waxed for a very long time I don’t feel thing. This felt like my first time. Plus her hands were all over me at one point I thought I might get fingered.
The only positive is it’s better then the last time I cheated on Ellie where the lady had me up on all 4’s. I’m not sure Maria went to beauty school I think she’s just tagut herself how to do a Hollywood. To top it off Maria charged me a fiver more then Ellie does and she’s not even done a great job! I will NEVER go anywhere else EVER again

 

[Peaches_xox]

I might send myself some flowers on Valentine’s Day cos the drama in my life isn’t enough

 

[make-mine-whiskey]

Morning all. Im Off work today, I feel like death warmed up. Temp, sore throat, headache, cramps. LFT is negative but my niece tested positive and I had her all day Saturday

 

[watermelon sugar]

This is my night no plans for the weekend other than if I get another negative test then we’re going to the new house to do some painting and wallpaper-ing

 

[Peaches_xox]

I shagged mr peaches on the first date, not in a hotel but that’s cos he’s old and lived alone took me out for the night, back to his, 10 years later and he’s still here just about. I bought him a card once that said ‘you were supposed to be a one night stand’

 

[watermelon sugar]

my fella is circumsised. i can't remember what uncircumsised todgers look like. penis' are ugly anyway, they look like naked mole rats

 

[WilmaHun]

Men always say they’re gonna do loads when they’re sexting then when it comes down to it they just wanna do 2 pumps in missionary and call it a day then go “did you like that”

 

[watermelon sugar]

I love monopoly, I love any board game really. I’m most definitely a board flipper though if I lose I’m a proper sore loser.

my nephew is 7 and he is a sore loser and flips if he loses a game of something. All my family whisper to each other ‘he’s just like Watermelon’ some people call it sore loser i call it being passionate

 

[watermelon sugar]

guys be taking dick pics like this

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’m allowed out



baby is just napping then I’m gonna head into town and get mil some birthday presents cos it was her birthday the other day. Then I’m going to drop the baby into my fellas Nans house, which is only next door to the new place, so he ain’t far 🥲 then have a look at what needs doing in the new house. I picked a nice pale blue for the babies bedroom, we’re going for a vehicle theme. Cos he loves his etc. I’ve got some vehicle wall stickers from Dunelm I’m gonna stick on the walls when the paint has dried. And he’s got a little car bed now he’s a big boy and too big for his cot.

 

[GlennCoco]

Hi gang



Had a very busy day at work, I havent even been able to catch up on the last thread so jumped straight in here. Hope you're all okay and had better days than yesterday

 

[Libbylulu]

I’ve woken up to the most bizarre conversation…… of all the things discussed this is the strangest

 

[Meangirl815]

Ah I've had a proper good bitching session with my mate today and we've arranged a wine night for next week.
I also start work the week after next. Eventually!!!
I've officially declared my January blues over. Life is looking good

 

[BelleAmie]

I’ve been dreaming about a chicken and bacon club baguette from Greggs for the best part of a week so I ordered one today and it was entirely disappointing. I also got a yum yum though and it was
Thanks for the love guys, I have properly missed you all

question for the afternoon - if you had a penis, what would you name it?

 

[watermelon sugar]

I put out on my first date with Mr Watermelon and we ended up in a travel lodge. We’re now happily in love with a baby

 

[Peaches_xox]

I’m too much of a slut to wait for marriage or the 3rd date. I need to see the D before I marry it. I always say now if I end up single I’m gonna need dick pics before I agree to a date. Im not wasting my time for small willys

 

[WilmaHun]

Omg. SILs bf rents some space in my bfs workshop. She went down there this morning to get some money off her bf as she always does and found some car keys with a pink keyring on in the key safe (dunno why she was snouting). She was phoning to ask if they belong to my bfs customer or hers cos she doesn't like him booking females in. I was like "you're off your head mate I dunno whos they are but I don't care either if it's bringing in money". She hung up on me

 

[Blue pumpkin]

I love all the Easter stuff being in the shops already.
I bought some chocolate speckled eggs from m&s for later but I want them NOW.
Zero willpower

 

[watermelon sugar]

Are you and Mr Melon ok today? @watermelon sugar

yeah we made up last night luckily!