Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[rosemarina]

I think we need to be careful with this. While I get that it can seem like a pisstake (and it sometimes definitely is), if paid maternity leave didn’t exist, every woman who had a baby would be forced out of the workplace. The men are not going to take this on on a 50:50 basis (even though they should), and it would force even more women into poverty.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally, totally get it, but I try to see it as the price I pay for getting to escape having children. If you gave me 6-12 months off on full pay with the only condition being that I had to look after a baby alone for most of that time, I’d chuck myself off a fucking bridge. Let them have it if they want it.

It’s so true about diversity initiatives though. Woman and mother are seen as interchangeable in the workplace, which holds the rest of us back.

 

[HoGi]

Saw this and thought of you fellow child free guys

 

[judgejohndeed]

I think in general people are less tolerant of kids now because ‘modern’ parents are into all this new age, ‘gentle parenting’ bollocks which essentially means loads of kids are just utter demons with no discipline. I don’t mind kids per se, I do mind shrieking kids, kids running about and treating public places like a playground when it’s not appropriate, etc. Idk if my Mum was just really strict or something but the way a lot of parents allow their kids to act in public these days never would’ve washed with her.

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

eta as I don’t want to derail: what’s everyone’s favourite thing about being child free? mine is the lack of responsibility and accountability, I would buckle under the pressure so instead I get to do things at my pace

Same, plus the spontaneous decisions that can be made! Wanna lie in bed until 2pm on a Saturday? Sure. Wanna get up at 10 and go for a day out at a stately home/some other English Heritage place? Of course. How about leaving at 8am to drive to an outlet centre a couple of hours away and treat yourself? Also absolutely no problem. How about staying horizontal on the sofa all day with Netflix and ordering food in? Yes please!

Friend texts at 4pm on a Saturday to ask if you feel like a night out? Yes girl, first cocktail on me
It's Wednesday and I want to see that new film out at the cinema, off I go
I don't feel like cooking tonight, Coco Pops for dinner it is

 

[LaBlonde]

Saw this on LinkedIn earlier, wish I had the privilege of saying “it’s 4:30 no more meetings please I’ve got stuff to do”.

View attachment 1922419

i’m going to email my boss tomorrow and say i need to finish at 3 every day because my little tummy can’t wait for my little body to drive us home any later than that.

just saw the use of “herculean feat” too. dude (or dudette) if you’re referring to raising your children as an actual act of penance bestowed upon you by vengeful gods then their little tummies are the least of anyone’s worries tbh.

 

[shadowcat5]

It's the 'I certainly won't be back' for me.

Good. Your 3 old is breaking shit. No one wants you there.

 

[shadowcat5]

the toast comment baffled me so cause I don’t have kids there’s no point in feeding myself properly? Seriously?

Can we add nutrition to the list of things that there’s no point bothering with because we don’t have kids? So far we’ve got Christmas, Halloween, and Disney.

 

[Millyhex]

I don’t understand why on Facebook or Instagram, if someone posts about being childfree, in the comments there’s hundreds of men saying ‘enjoy being sad and alone surrounded by cats’. WHY are men so annoyed when women say we don’t want kids? Wish I could write a paper on it hahah and get their reasoning cos I just don’t understand it.

 

[theweekend]

I just really don’t understand how anyone can say they “wouldn’t have had kids if they knew how hard it is” “no one told me what it was really like” etc. I understand that people never openly admit they regret having children, and always seem to be pushing others into parenthood even when their experience seems negative, but I think that is a different conversation. I just don’t get how you can claim you didn’t know how hard it was.. you’re raising a whole entire human?

I saw a comment thread on a parenthood post the other day, responses included “no one prepared me how hard the fourth trimester was, transitioning from pregnancy and enduring labour to dealing with a newborn” - sorry you weren’t prepared to have a baby at the end of pregnancy????? Who’s job exactly is it to warn you of this Other comments talked about how “draining” and “overstimulating” being a mum/childcare is, but surely you’ve spent more than 5 minutes with a child in your life?? It’s exhausting no? But this is somehow a shock? Yes people do romanticise having children but if you haven’t thought for more than 5 minutes about the reality of it outside of the number of likes your Instagram pregnancy announcement is gonna get then that is on you.

 

[rosemarina]

I mean, what have you got to live for anyway, right?

 

[Jane Porcupine]

Now there's a thread on Mumsnet about being annoyed when childfree people say they're tired.

 

[HoGi]

Yeah exactly!

it annoys me actually how care homes are demonised. My nan had vascular dementia and had to go into a care home when she lost use of her legs. There’s no way my mum or my grandad could have cared for her when she needed a hoist etc.

The safest and kindest option was to put her into a care home that’s designed for people with memory problems. My nan actually improved when she went into the home because her needs were being met correctly.

people make my family feel guilty for putting her in there, but my mum gave up work and was her carer for years before she reached mental, physical & financial breaking point.

my nan’s carers were wonderful and they were devastated when she passed.

sometimes whether you have kids or not, it’s inevitable that you’ll end up in a home.

Same with my dad. The amount of people who said "I would never put my dad in care home" like, ok cool so you can wash and dress a 6ft tall man who doesn't want his daughter anywhere near his genitals, you can try and make him understand why it is unsafe to leave the house when it is 11pm at night with a temperature of -2 and he only has pants on and he gets violent as he doesnt understand, you can try and wrestle the car keys off him because he thinks he is still a taxi driver going to work. They are just a couple of examples. He had advanced dementia and it was unsafe for any of us, least of all my 5f tall mum, to look after him at home.

 

[ElectricDreams]

I took my nephew to his swimming lesson this despite him not paying the slightest bit of attention to the teacher and messing around in the pool, it was nice to watch him. But oh my god other parents are so tedious! Fortunately some other poor cow got sat between me and SmugMum so I didn't have to take the brunt of it but in the half an hour I was sitting there I got full chapter and verse about her little darlings!

Mum next to me commented how her daughter was the oldest in her class, SmugMum said “oh I do wish Poppy had been born before Christmas but I was just sooooo relieved to get pregnant I didn't mind" Oversharing much? I'd known her 15 minutes! Then she had second child on her knee who kept smiling at me so of course you have to smile back, then I got "oh Daisy are you giving away all your smiles today?!" I just wanted to throw myself in the pool fully clothed to get away from it all!

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I'm tired ALL week at work cus I stay up till whatever time I like, watching Netflix, hanging out with friends, playing games, self pleasuring And then weekends I get a nice long lie in to catch up....and still have all day to do what I like

I'm sure M*msnet would argue "well that's your fault you're tired" and guess what? It's your fault you're tired too! You chose to have kids haha!!

 

[aidil]

I’m a vet nurse and I had a lady visiting for an appointment with her cat this morning. She brought her little girl in with her (I’d say around five years old) who spent the entire consultation screaming she was bored when I was trying to talk. The mum made no effort to tell her to be quiet, she just said if she waited a bit longer she’d give her some sweets?! Why are parents such pushovers these days? I would’ve never dreamed of interrupting my mum as a child if she was talking to another adult, especially a professional like a doctor/nurse.

I managed to distract the screaming brat with some cat toys and then the woman asked if I had kids. I said no and she was like “why not? You’re great with them!” Firstly, intrusive much? Secondly, I’m fairly sure there’s more to parenting than waving ping pong balls at them?

 

[shadowcat5]

Thought you guys would enjoy this

 

[shadowcat5]

it’s not really a woman’s choice though is it because you can’t just waltz back to work after giving birth. It “made sense” for his wife to be at home because she was the one who did all the fucking work to bring the child into the world in the first place.

side note but I fucking hate when men comment on shit they know fuck all about, especially when it pertains to women’s bodies and/or safety.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I’m fed up of people treating the cost of childcare the same as bills in terms of their outgoings. You have chosen to have a child therefore you have to accept what that entails and for the most part that is money.

Your £1,400 bill is not my issue.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Came across this while searching for our new baby/toddler group because ironically people from this thread were venturing over there and then analysing it all in more depth than we ever had time for Funnily enough the baby threads on here are full of the most loveliest supportive people I’ve come across on the internet.

@Pebbleybeach not aiming the animosity at you, just a general on this thread. I completely support anyone child free by choice. The world is over populated and there are undeniable benefits to being child free but there are some really bitter and hateful comments on here from some others towards mums and that’s not a healthy way to live imo.

Bye then

 

[LaBlonde]

Let's just go ahead and add all domestic/household things to the list. Everyone knows that child free people never have to clean, do laundry, change a lightbulb or stop by the shops to purchase milk.

i mean, idk about you but i just whistle out of my bedroom window and a host of cartoon bluebirds and mice rush in and do all my chores for me. such are the benefits when you’re childfree!

it’s ridiculous the way these people think our lives have no meaning to the point that we wouldn’t even feed ourselves properly. what an absolutely insane thing to say.