Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[TheGlossy]

Same for me. I was sick for the most part of the last two weeks and was barely able to leave the couch to feed myself or wash the dishes, let alone mind children! I think I would have had a legitimate nervous breakdown if I had to deal with a child while trying to survive whatever this flu or cold was.

Even when I’m fully healthy, I sometimes can’t even bring myself to cook after a long day at work. When you have children, you’ve no time off or sick days or annual leave whether you’re sick or tired, it doesn’t matter, you need to take care of them. I honestly wouldn’t have the strength to do all that on top of a demanding job.

 

[Mrs Fluff]

My sister in law recently had a baby. I’m really happy for her and he is super cute but when she sends pictures of him in the family group chat she speaks as the baby it really annoys me when people do that

And refer to themselves as Mum/Mam etc

 

[shadowcat5]

And refer to themselves as Mum/Mam etc

“Wearing my favourite onesie today. Mummy thinks I look as cute as a button”

get a life

 

[penny1992]

Same for me. I was sick for the most part of the last two weeks and was barely able to leave the couch to feed myself or wash the dishes, let alone mind children! I think I would have had a legitimate nervous breakdown if I had to deal with a child while trying to survive whatever this flu or cold was.

Even when I’m fully healthy, I sometimes can’t even bring myself to cook after a long day at work. When you have children, you’ve no time off or sick days or annual leave whether you’re sick or tired, it doesn’t matter, you need to take care of them. I honestly wouldn’t have the strength to do all that on top of a demanding job.

I agree, I don't know how parents aren't having constant mental breakdowns! Sometimes I find my dog hard work... He can be needy, picky with his food and it drives me mad sometimes.

If I want leftover pizza for breakfast, I have it. Scrambled eggs for dinner, I have it. Typically I'm good at meal planning but sometimes you just can't be bothered!

I am naturally quite a high strung person and need routine. I think having a child would be terrible for my mental health.

 

[mdizzl3]

One of the girls in my university Whatsapp group had a baby less than a week ago (congratulations), but ever since then, my usually perfectly rationale friends have been writing (what I find to be) quite offensive messages about how this is what life is all about, it’s the best thing ever and how their life is now beginning. I am sat here reading these messages thinking “are you aware not everyone in this group is a mother, and are never likely to be either”….Bloody rude if you ask me.

I am happily childfree by choice, so I am not sensitive about wanting kids and not having them, but it astounds me that my friends write this stuff without thinking of the implications of what they are saying to the rest of us i.e. our lives are meaningless and not as worthy.

Tbf, I wouldn’t take stuff like that to heart. It might be what life is all about to them, and they’re allowed their opinion and to share their experience, but it doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone. I love going to festivals and Ibiza and dancing all day in 35 degree heatwaves, but if I said “this is what summer is all about!!” I’m not insulting hikers/birdwatchers/people who hate heat and house music. It’s just my personal opinion. As long as no-one starts telling me how to live my life, they can have whatever opinion they want (though I might judge if it’s really stupid)

 

[Huxley]

Tbf, I wouldn’t take stuff like that to heart. It might be what life is all about to them, and they’re allowed their opinion and to share their experience, but it doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone. I love going to festivals and Ibiza and dancing all day in 35 degree heatwaves, but if I said “this is what summer is all about!!” I’m not insulting hikers/birdwatchers/people who hate heat and house music. It’s just my personal opinion. As long as no-one starts telling me how to live my life, they can have whatever opinion they want (though I might judge if it’s really stupid)

Completely agree they are entitled to their opinion, and you’re right that I shouldn’t take it to heart, I usually brush things like that off, but I guess my issue with what they were writing is that I know they don’t value my (childfree) opinion in the same way now they have kids, and it often makes you feel redundant in these types of group messages as I have nothing to contribute to that kind of statement.

If I wrote something like “love being out tonight having fun”, it would have been seen as having a dig, but it’s perfectly alright for them to write what they did and I’m not supposed to see it as slightly rude, even if they didn’t mean it to be like that. I just find that there is something a little smug in statements such as the ones they made on a group WhatsApp when not everyone is in the same life stage.

It is like what has been written here before, their life is seen as the default way to live a life, and anyone not following the same pattern is seen as secondary, whether they mean it to or not. It can make you feel very lonely and not as valued, especially on emotionally charged days like Christmas and NYE.

 

[Millyhex]

Like people post on their Instagram stories all the time about how family is the only thing that matters not going out and drinking etc and I don’t mind, but I posted a meme saying ‘at least I’m not spending my money on formula and nappies’ loads of people kicked off with me!

 

[shadowcat5]

They can post on Christmas morning with kids toys and wrapping paper everywhere talking about “this is what life is about” but we get told that no one knows why we bother with Christmas cause we don’t have kids

 

[mousey]

I am the (adult) kid in my mother's house with wrapping paper everywhere. That's what life is about.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Completely agree they are entitled to their opinion, and you’re right that I shouldn’t take it to heart, I usually brush things like that off, but I guess my issue with what they were writing is that I know they don’t value my (childfree) opinion in the same way now they have kids, and it often makes you feel redundant in these types of group messages as I have nothing to contribute to that kind of statement.

If I wrote something like “love being out tonight having fun”, it would have been seen as having a dig, but it’s perfectly alright for them to write what they did and I’m not supposed to see it as slightly rude, even if they didn’t mean it to be like that. I just find that there is something a little smug in statements such as the ones they made on a group WhatsApp when not everyone is in the same life stage.

It is like what has been written here before, their life is seen as the default way to live a life, and anyone not following the same pattern is seen as secondary, whether they mean it to or not. It can make you feel very lonely and not as valued, especially on emotionally charged days like Christmas and NYE.

Jilly Cooper got there before you in the 1970s - except she called them the "smug marrieds".

 

[penny1992]

I was grocery shopping today and the sound of babies/children crying makes me want to whack somebody! That is one of my top reasons for not wanting a child. That shrill noise makes me want to rage. I probably don't have a normal reaction but I think it's because I have autism and have sensory overload sometimes.

 

[newtoyou]

I was grocery shopping today and the sound of babies/children crying makes me want to whack somebody! That is one of my top reasons for not wanting a child. That shrill noise makes me want to rage. I probably don't have a normal reaction but I think it's because I have autism and have sensory overload sometimes.

I don’t have autism and I feel the same way. Some small kids in the family were having fun over Xmas but they were so loud and high pitched I had to leave the room

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I was grocery shopping today and the sound of babies/children crying makes me want to whack somebody! That is one of my top reasons for not wanting a child. That shrill noise makes me want to rage. I probably don't have a normal reaction but I think it's because I have autism and have sensory overload sometimes.

I don’t think I have autism, but I literally rage at certain sounds and one of them is shrieking kids!

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

I don’t think I have autism, but I literally rage at certain sounds and one of them is shrieking kids!

Urgh, and there's that old tale about it being particularly piercing for the mother, so why are my eardrums in such pain?! Then I get stank-eye for involuntarily wincing and covering my ears...

 

[ElectricDreams]

One of my friends who I haven't seen socially or spoken to properly in nearly 10 years since she had kids randomly messaged me last night saying "do you still knit and crochet things hun? By the way how are you?" Presumably she's wanting me to make something for one of the sprogs. I do, but since I haven't seen or heard from her in so long I replied no I don't and yes I'm fine thanks for asking, hope you are all OK too. She never got back to me!

 

[Princesst]

I was grocery shopping today and the sound of babies/children crying makes me want to whack somebody! That is one of my top reasons for not wanting a child. That shrill noise makes me want to rage. I probably don't have a normal reaction but I think it's because I have autism and have sensory overload sometimes.

I don’t think I have autism, but I literally rage at certain sounds and one of them is shrieking kids!

Urgh, and there's that old tale about it being particularly piercing for the mother, so why are my eardrums in such pain?! Then I get stank-eye for involuntarily wincing and covering my ears...

I could have written this myself. Find it really hard to go anywhere especially shops and the supermarket because there’s ALWAYS someone screaming and I can’t handle it. I feel like I could have autism because of it too because I get so overwhelmed. Makes it worse because I don’t feel like anyone should HAVE to handle it & I would never have behaved like that when I was a kid. Plus if I did it now as an adult I’d probably get escorted out by security so I really don’t get how anyone is allowed to shriek, scream & shout in public places…In my local high street the other day a girl was screaming “old McDonald” at the top of her lungs with her parents thinking it was hilarious. Down the road a homeless man was shouting about how life isn’t fair just into the air & some PCSOs went right over to him … isn’t everything supposed to be equal and fair with no discrimination

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I was in a cafe on Sunday having a nice bit of breakfast with my husband. The table next to us had a mum, a gran and 2 young boys under primary school age. When their food arrived they shoved an iPad in front of the 2 boys and it was so loud! I think the mum noticed I looked up so quickly from my breakfast that I gave myself whiplash and made a big drama about asking the gran to turn it down.

 

[pinkmug]

One of my friends who I haven't seen socially or spoken to properly in nearly 10 years since she had kids randomly messaged me last night saying "do you still knit and crochet things hun? By the way how are you?" Presumably she's wanting me to make something for one of the sprogs. I do, but since I haven't seen or heard from her in so long I replied no I don't and yes I'm fine thanks for asking, hope you are all OK too. She never got back to me!

You're smarter than me, I'd have said 'yes why' like a dumbass and cornered myself

I was in a cafe on Sunday having a nice bit of breakfast with my husband. The table next to us had a mum, a gran and 2 young boys under primary school age. When their food arrived they shoved an iPad in front of the 2 boys and it was so loud! I think the mum noticed I looked up so quickly from my breakfast that I gave myself whiplash and made a big drama about asking the gran to turn it down.

I hate this. You're not in your damn living room! Give the kids headphones or mute the infernal thing. Why do people have to listen baby shark 68 times before dessert because the parents don't want to deal with the kids while they eat? I don't judge them for resorting to the ipads but nobody else has to put up with it.

 

[shadowcat5]

Thought you guys would enjoy this

 

[Mycatoliver]

I was in a cafe on Sunday having a nice bit of breakfast with my husband. The table next to us had a mum, a gran and 2 young boys under primary school age. When their food arrived they shoved an iPad in front of the 2 boys and it was so loud! I think the mum noticed I looked up so quickly from my breakfast that I gave myself whiplash and made a big drama about asking the gran to turn it down.

A few years back I was in a John Lewis cafe having tea with a friend directly in front of me were two boys I’d say 9 and 12 with their parents
When their food came the kids didn’t look up from their tablets and so the mum got a fork and started spooning cake into the older kids mouth
He didn’t look up once
There was nothing wrong with him ie special needs/developmental issues (and I should know as I was a teacher for many years)