Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[Saddlesoap]

Kinda forgotten about this thread. Had such a lovely day today.

Dog woke me up around 8am. Had a coffee and watched some Grey's Anatomy, got husband up and went out for breakfast. Walked the dog for about an hour, came home warm shower, cleaned the bathrooms, sorted and tidied some washing, prepped some veggies for next week's teas. Watched another 3(!) episodes of Greys while doing a bit of admin for work. Now cooking tea with a cider.

My friend text me, she's spent 3 hours at soft play this afternoon

 

[mdizzl3]

Yeah I love sleeping in till 11 on a Sunday. When I tell people at work they’re like “oh I haven’t slept past 7am in 4 years”. Well whose fault is that?!

 

[Popcornshovel]

My boss asked me outright when are we thinking of trying …grim
And my friend (we work in the same organisation) had her director ask her the same thing just in case she wanted to sort out mat leave

When I got married (which was in the autumn) a colleague said excitedly 'oooo you could be pregnant by Christmas'. I was thinking 'no I bloody won't be'.

 

[aidil]

this is what i don't understand. As a kid if we had to go to the doctors or I had to go somewhere with my mum, I would never have dreamed of complaining I was bored because I was aware that there was shit we had to do and I knew that I had no choice. It makes me wonder what these kids will be like when they grow up because they're going to have a shock when they get there and realise that the world doesn't revolve around them?

Exactly! I dread to think what it’s like being a teacher now when you have a room full of children who thinks it’s acceptable to scream over the top of adults! Nobody teaches manners anymore.

It’s unbelievable how many out of control kids I have to deal with at my work. Parents let them run around the waiting room gawping at all the animals like it’s a petting zoo. I was trying to get a blood sample from a nervous cat the other week while some kid outside in reception was stomping about and leaping on the weighing scales. The cat ended up getting so freaked out by the noise that it bit me. Needless to say, I went out to tell the parents to control their kids or leave because it’s a SURGERY.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Someone at work has just told me they assumed I ‘wouldn’t be into Christmas as I don’t have kids, and if they didn’t have kids then they just wouldn’t bother’ these people are so bloody miserable

I love Christmas! I’ve got lights out the front of my house, a massive tree, loads of decorations etc. my husband and I have our own traditions. You don’t need kids to enjoy Christmas

 

[littlewonder]

Still baffled by people coming into this thread when it’s not relevant to them? Having our own space to talk in is co-existing happily because we’re not encroaching on your space?

they’ve got to let us know somehow that we’re miserable and have too much time on our hands

 

[Chandler Bing]

Came across this while searching for our new baby/toddler group because ironically people from this thread were venturing over there and then analysing it all in more depth than we ever had time for Funnily enough the baby threads on here are full of the most loveliest supportive people I’ve come across on the internet.

@Pebbleybeach not aiming the animosity at you, just a general on this thread. I completely support anyone child free by choice. The world is over populated and there are undeniable benefits to being child free but there are some really bitter and hateful comments on here from some others towards mums and that’s not a healthy way to live imo.

Well when you get told enough times by mums that your time isn't as valuable as theirs, or your entire life lacks any meaning cos you don't have kids, we might make some comments towards them too.

 

[shadowcat5]

I struggle to have sympathy for parents who are pissed off wth their kids behaviour on Xmas eve tbh. I appreciate it’s a bit shit but what do you expect? You and the rest of the world spend like 2 months hyping them for the day, of course they’re going to overexcited and over stimulated the day before the day itself.

eta: I have more sympathy for the kids cause I find Christmas overwhelming as an adult. I can’t imagine being a child

 

[pinkmug]

I went to Ikea today.

I'm sure this sentence is self explanatory but Good grief, the amount of exhausted, irritated, miserable parents with tired toddlers throwing tantrums or kids hopped up on sugar at the restaurant, running and screaming. It was terrible enough for me, I can't imagine having to go home with the kids and calm them down or put them in the bath and get them ready for school tomorrow... I am so thankful I could wander around at my own pace without having to keep children busy or keep them from smashing stuff. I was able to shop for what I need, eat in peace and get back home to chill and read my book. It was smart to go early-ish and leave before the family crowds began. Utter chaos.

 

[pinkmug]

God, if you ever see a lone man pushing a buggy and not glued to his phone, will you let us all know? The lazy, shiftless arseholes never seem to spend any time interacting with their own children, and they all walk along staring at their phone as though it alone can prevent their testicles from falling off. HATE.

Seconded. Seeing men treating parenting as a chore turns my stomach. No, you're not fucking "babysitting" Ron, that's your own child. You don't deserve a medal and a pat on the back for successfully changing a single diaper, bottle feeding or wiping the floor after your toddler spills. The bar is so low for men it's a tripping hazard yet they still find a way to limbo underneath it. I don't know how anyone can agree to become parents with people like these when they keep saying "yah this isn't really my thing haha". Perish, you prick.

(I keep seeing reels from some guys calling out behaviour like this on Instagram and kudos to them. This shouldn't fly in 2023 yet here we are.)

 

[springstudy]

I used to have a guy friend who was quite left leaning but just couldn’t get past me not wanting children. He’d always say things like “it’s just such a waste. It was what you were put on this earth to do” alright mate, and if by your logic that’s true, then men are supposed to go out and provide and work hard. And yet he worked three days part time and played PlayStation the other two days and was a lazy arsehole. I only pity the woman he ends up with, if one at all. Her running after all the kids and him sitting on his butt all day and not standing up and being a man, but yet we women have to “be proper women”. No bother.

 

[Anne1448]

This is such a taboo topic and I might be starting shit but the ability to keep my body the same is a huge plus for me.

When I see the way some pregnant women's body are straight up deformed to accommodate a child scares me. My family has a history with women have twins quite often and I cannot explain the absolute disgust that I feel when I see their bodies.

 

[prozacprincess]

The child free by choice contingent has grown to 3 of us at work. This makes me ridiculously happy as I’ve always been the odd one who didn’t want kids and now I have a tribe

 

[EyeLoveIcelands]

Working parents can get 6 months full pay, flexible or part time working when they come back, while non-mothers are expected to be in the office every day until retirement or need a “proper” reason to go part time. They can also use their kids as excuse to leave early, work from home more than the policy allows, come in late, demand leave around Bank Holidays (because play school doesn’t exist duh) etc.

We need an influential childfree person or big company to campaign for us. Why shouldn’t we have paid time off to pursue personal things too?

This is why I pretty much do what I want on my WFH days. Play the system where you can like they do - if you can.

 

[shadowcat5]

I’m a vet nurse and I had a lady visiting for an appointment with her cat this morning. She brought her little girl in with her (I’d say around five years old) who spent the entire consultation screaming she was bored when I was trying to talk. The mum made no effort to tell her to be quiet, she just said if she waited a bit longer she’d give her some sweets?! Why are parents such pushovers these days? I would’ve never dreamed of interrupting my mum as a child if she was talking to another adult, especially a professional like a doctor/nurse.

I managed to distract the screaming brat with some cat toys and then the woman asked if I had kids. I said no and she was like “why not? You’re great with them!” Firstly, intrusive much? Secondly, I’m fairly sure there’s more to parenting than waving ping pong balls at them?

this is what i don't understand. As a kid if we had to go to the doctors or I had to go somewhere with my mum, I would never have dreamed of complaining I was bored because I was aware that there was shit we had to do and I knew that I had no choice. It makes me wonder what these kids will be like when they grow up because they're going to have a shock when they get there and realise that the world doesn't revolve around them?

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

“parents: not everything is about you” needs to be the next thread title

Putting this forward officially courtesy of you and @Platformcrocs in case it gets lost in comments -

Childfree by choice #6 Parents: not everything is about you

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I don’t want children and I don’t particularly like them being around me when I’m shopping, on holiday or eating out, but I certainly wouldn’t say I hate them.
And I definitely wouldn’t want any harm to come any of them, even the really unruly ones. Child abuse cases literally make me cry & it’s not easy to make me cry! I actually can’t stand hearing about children being mistreated, I think it’s awful.

Personally for me when I’m out and about and there’s a kid driving me nuts, it’s the parents I’m angry at, not the child.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

When I got married (which was in the autumn) a colleague said excitedly 'oooo you could be pregnant by Christmas'. I was thinking 'no I bloody won't be'.

My infertile friend and her infertile husband had their wedding day ruined with those kinds of comments. Why as soon as you get married do people want you to have kids - ‘because that’s what you do’ and that how you get regretful parents who didn’t actually think about what being a parent is like. They’re just trying to tick off the list and don’t think past ‘having a baby’ never mind having a toddler! I’ve seen so many posts online recently which all use the phrase ‘I didn’t know it would be like this’ or similarly‘I didn’t know it would be so hard/all consuming/change my life this much/take up so much time’ - they thought about ticking the box, and maybe about having a baby but not about being a parent.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I actually think Sunday is my favourite day of the week, even if it does mean back to work the day after!

Breakfast in bed, relaxing all day, cooking a nice meal for tea and then sitting down in front of the telly for the evening. Nothing better, especially at this time of year when it’s nice to be cosy!

Being able to do whatever I want whenever I want is the nicest feeling.

 

[shadowcat5]

ITV are preparing for "Romance Retreat" which is a Love Island spin off for 40+ year old single parents (nominated by their children)..... what about 40+ childfree singles?

I appreciate your point but all I can think is how absolutely heinous it would be watching one of your parents getting railed under the covers like on love island on prime time itv