Did anyone watch 24 hours in a&e heartbreaking old couple who didn’t have children as they couldn’t. The wife was on the phone to a niece, she obviously had family who loved her and wasnt lonelyeven though she was childless.
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I haven't read the article but I am guessing the content and it worries me sometimes too. Still, having children is no guarantee that you'll be cared for at your old age. I am not sociable at all, I can be very much a hermit in fact but I've made a pact with myself to make the effort and put in the work to connect with people, even if it's just a hobby group or maybe a retirement community at some point, if I find myself truly without anyone at that point. Besides, a lot of people are aging childfree or childless and by the time we're in our senoir years, maybe there will be new options other than what we see now, who knows?I saw this article and now I feel worried... Lol. There's also a reddit thread on the Canada subreddit about it and people are saying childfree will be old, lonely and dottled. Is abyone else childfree but also not very sociable? I moved countries and don't have a lot of friends here...
'I have no one': Kinless Canadians struggling to age with dignity
A growing number of Canadians are aging alone, without immediate family members to help them with daily tasks or offer emotional support. These kinless Canadians are facing many challenges and more needs to be done to ensure they don’t fall through the cracks, experts say.www.ctvnews.ca
I don't know what life will serve me. I think the option that'll keep any of us (parent or childfree) sane is to do our best with the day we are given and hope that tomorrow will be kind.
This is from the nhs website - According to Age UK, more than 2 million people in England over the age of 75 live alone, and more than a million older people say they go over a month without speaking to a friend, neighbour or family member. -
They’re surely not all childfree! I have childfree friends and relatives (some now passed) and they are/were never lonely because they are/were lovely people so whenever they wanted company they have/had it through friends, family, neighbours, acquaintances, groups, clubs, courses, church etc.
There are plenty of articles about old people with children who are lonely and plenty of older people seeking advice about estranged children, children who have moved away and stuff like that. It just cycles around who the media focus in and as the birth rate is apparently dropping in the western world people are apparently panicking and there will be more of this stuff said, more pressure to have kids and more incentives for those who do. I’d rather be lonely at 75+ than have children now and hope they stop me being lonely.
They’re surely not all childfree! I have childfree friends and relatives (some now passed) and they are/were never lonely because they are/were lovely people so whenever they wanted company they have/had it through friends, family, neighbours, acquaintances, groups, clubs, courses, church etc.
There are plenty of articles about old people with children who are lonely and plenty of older people seeking advice about estranged children, children who have moved away and stuff like that. It just cycles around who the media focus in and as the birth rate is apparently dropping in the western world people are apparently panicking and there will be more of this stuff said, more pressure to have kids and more incentives for those who do. I’d rather be lonely at 75+ than have children now and hope they stop me being lonely.
Just having a read of the breakingmom Reddit and some of the post are just insane!
One post about how a woman knew she “hated” her husband 6 months into marriage, fast forward 5 years, he is still abusive but she really wants a baby so has one even though he didn’t want one. Now wonders why her husband doesn’t spend any time with the baby?
One who feels “animalistic” when breastfeeding and constantly grooms and smells her baby.
One who is complaining that her 70 year old parents only play with her child. They don’t feed/wash/put it to bed. How selfish of them!!
And they say us CF folk are crazy…
One post about how a woman knew she “hated” her husband 6 months into marriage, fast forward 5 years, he is still abusive but she really wants a baby so has one even though he didn’t want one. Now wonders why her husband doesn’t spend any time with the baby?
One who feels “animalistic” when breastfeeding and constantly grooms and smells her baby.
One who is complaining that her 70 year old parents only play with her child. They don’t feed/wash/put it to bed. How selfish of them!!
And they say us CF folk are crazy…
This is going to sound horrible as I’m not sure how to word this properly but the one thing I feel when I see a couple I know announce their pregnancy or a friend tells me they’re pregnant is… how boring. It tells me that you’re not content just being in your relationship for a while and enioying that, it’s another thing you wanted to tick off the list like marriage after being with your partner for X number of years and it’s just so predictable and dull. Often I’ll think.. you?? Wanting to be a parent? Really?
I can’t think of a single couple I know who are my age and have made the decision to be childfree - they either want kids / are trying or have just had a baby. I wonder how many of them actually want children or just see it as the next step in their relationship / are pressured into following societal norms? It’s bizarre that not wanting children is seen as ‘abnormal’ over making the conscious decision to bringing another life into the world, with the massive responsibility that brings.
I can’t think of a single couple I know who are my age and have made the decision to be childfree - they either want kids / are trying or have just had a baby. I wonder how many of them actually want children or just see it as the next step in their relationship / are pressured into following societal norms? It’s bizarre that not wanting children is seen as ‘abnormal’ over making the conscious decision to bringing another life into the world, with the massive responsibility that brings.
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My circle seems very different, I hardly know any couples that have or want children. There are a few but mainly everyone is child free. We got married after 12 years together and only a handful of distant family friend mentioned children. I’m 32, so ideal childbearing age!
Hardly anyone I went to school with has had children either which is odd. Very normal to be child free through choice near me.
I know a tonne of couples who got married in the last two years and within a year they’re pregnant. Even if I wanted kids I wouldn’t do it that quickly, don’t they want to enjoy just being married for a bit first? I don’t get it 
This seems to be common in my age group where I live. Married and pregnant within the year. I've been married around 5 years and different, odd comments from my family that they've said indicate that they all think we have fertility issues or something.I know a tonne of couples who got married in the last two years and within a year they’re pregnant. Even if I wanted kids I wouldn’t do it that quickly, don’t they want to enjoy just being married for a bit first? I don’t get it
I’m not sure I’m going to phrase this correctly, so bear with me, but I think if you have a big wedding, you kind of star in a movie of your own life in the year running up to it and on the day itself. After that, things can fall flat again, and the couple starts casting around for another way to get that attention fix. Why not “try for a baby” [TM]?
(I’m not saying ALL couples who have big weddings do this, but I think enough do for it to be recognised as a phenomenon.)
(I’m not saying ALL couples who have big weddings do this, but I think enough do for it to be recognised as a phenomenon.)
I just think some people are in a rush to tick the boxes. House, marriage, baby 
.
I’ve got the house, got the marriage, don’t want the baby!
We got married after almost 8 years though and it wasn’t a box ticking thing, more of a practical step really.
Whereas a girl I work with is 21 and got engaged within a month of being with her new boyfriend. No plans to get married, she just wanted to say she was engaged
. I’ve got the house, got the marriage, don’t want the baby!
We got married after almost 8 years though and it wasn’t a box ticking thing, more of a practical step really. Whereas a girl I work with is 21 and got engaged within a month of being with her new boyfriend. No plans to get married, she just wanted to say she was engaged
I said this once my wedding was over. I had a tiny at home Wedding but it takes over your life before hand and I can imagine if you have a big one you have been planning for years you get married and then what do you do with your time, fill it with an baby.
We got married last October and we’d moved house in the August. It wasn’t a “big” wedding, but it was a traditional wedding so the planning did take nearly two years.
Now that it’s all done with I’m so excited to have nothing planned. I’m filling my time with holidays, holiday planning, days out, making my house look nice etc. it’s so nice to not be tied down to anything and to just enjoy myself.
Engaged at 21?!I just think some people are in a rush to tick the boxes. House, marriage, baby
I’ve got the house, got the marriage, don’t want the baby!
Whereas a girl I work with is 21 and got engaged within a month of being with her new boyfriend. No plans to get married, she just wanted to say she was engaged
That's a child bride in my book
Yeah! She’s already got a baby with another guy and she’s been engaged once before when she was 19
I don’t understand why on Facebook or Instagram, if someone posts about being childfree, in the comments there’s hundreds of men saying ‘enjoy being sad and alone surrounded by cats’. WHY are men so annoyed when women say we don’t want kids? Wish I could write a paper on it hahah and get their reasoning cos I just don’t understand it.
because being able to “provide” children is one of the very few things men know they’re useful for. a woman choosing to live alone with cats is, to a certain type of man, indicating that she would rather a life with a hundred tiny furry creatures instead of one man. every time it happens they realise how disposable they are.
men have extremely fragile egos tbh. they like to feel needed and important. a happily single and childfree woman is basically doing
to them Being surrounded by cats is not being alone! Probably provide much more stimulating conversation, and at least you already know you have to do everything to look after them instead of being slowly tricked into it by certain types of men.
Because they're taking it as a personal insult/rejection towards them by these women, not considering that CF people are making their own choices just as they have also made their own choices. (Reminiscent of what I posted about CF weddings not being intended as a deliberate slight to people with children.) There's a healthy dose of misogyny thrown in there as well because these comments will only appear on CF posts made by women.
These will be the same men who make NAMALT comments when e.g. a woman makes a Reddit post on her experience of sexual harassment on public transport. Yawn.
So I've been leaning childfree for a while now and a recent visit from a friend and her baby has officially sealed the deal for me. I've been suffering a lot lately with trying to figure out what I want from life and ignoring the various societal pressures that are placed on women. I've had so many snide comments from coworkers, family members, etc. over the years that took aim at my single and childless status (mind you I only just turned 29 these comments don't really make sense anyway).
Seeing my friend struggle with motherhood is really difficult. Her mental health is terrible and only getting worse (it was already awful before she had the baby). Due to her mental health issues, she is not a very good parent, has pretty much no patience, and has constant anxiety around stuff to do with the baby which leads her to make some questionable parenting decisions that ultimately make the situation worse.
I feel so much more mental clarity and less anxiety about life now that I've simply decided that I will be childfree. It really takes the pressure off everything. No more pressure of made-up nonsense timelines for me.
I really hate that women who are married / have children seem to get the upper hand in being judgemental to childfree women and get away with making all the snide comments. I used to have this coworker who openly admitted to baby trapping her husband who didn't want children and then bragged/whinged that she did all the parenting herself and he wouldn't even do basic things like buckle the kids into their car seats?!
She would constantly make the most odd comments to me about my lifestyle to the point where it became a bullying situation and I had to report her to HR. I remember one time I bought groceries during my lunch break and shoved the bags under my desk and she said something like "oh wow, only two bags of groceries, that's not much at all but I guess you're oN yOuR OwN. If I was oN my OWN like you, I'd never cook properly and I'd have toast for dinner every night. Wow, it must be so easy not to have to cook ever." And she would make basically this same comment and apply it to any kind of household/life subject such as cleaning, laundry, etc.
These comments really shook me at the time and she was just relentless. So single/childless people aren't human, we never have to cook, our alien bodies require only toast for sustenance, we never have any cleaning or laundry to do, and we don't have any needs or responsibilities outside of work. What...
Anyway, it feels good to have made a firm decision for myself and now I get to be the one who sits there being judgemental and smug about other people's life choices. (I don't actually aim to be judgemental and smug, but I'm sure those of you who have been aggressively judged will understand that it's nice to have the upper hand, at least within your own brain)
Seeing my friend struggle with motherhood is really difficult. Her mental health is terrible and only getting worse (it was already awful before she had the baby). Due to her mental health issues, she is not a very good parent, has pretty much no patience, and has constant anxiety around stuff to do with the baby which leads her to make some questionable parenting decisions that ultimately make the situation worse.
I feel so much more mental clarity and less anxiety about life now that I've simply decided that I will be childfree. It really takes the pressure off everything. No more pressure of made-up nonsense timelines for me.
I really hate that women who are married / have children seem to get the upper hand in being judgemental to childfree women and get away with making all the snide comments. I used to have this coworker who openly admitted to baby trapping her husband who didn't want children and then bragged/whinged that she did all the parenting herself and he wouldn't even do basic things like buckle the kids into their car seats?!
She would constantly make the most odd comments to me about my lifestyle to the point where it became a bullying situation and I had to report her to HR. I remember one time I bought groceries during my lunch break and shoved the bags under my desk and she said something like "oh wow, only two bags of groceries, that's not much at all but I guess you're oN yOuR OwN. If I was oN my OWN like you, I'd never cook properly and I'd have toast for dinner every night. Wow, it must be so easy not to have to cook ever." And she would make basically this same comment and apply it to any kind of household/life subject such as cleaning, laundry, etc.These comments really shook me at the time and she was just relentless. So single/childless people aren't human, we never have to cook, our alien bodies require only toast for sustenance, we never have any cleaning or laundry to do, and we don't have any needs or responsibilities outside of work. What...
Anyway, it feels good to have made a firm decision for myself and now I get to be the one who sits there being judgemental and smug about other people's life choices. (I don't actually aim to be judgemental and smug, but I'm sure those of you who have been aggressively judged will understand that it's nice to have the upper hand, at least within your own brain
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