Childfree by Choice #12 I care about my life, not my death.

[chocolatepanda6]

Had to listen to someone at work slagging off a colleague who’s early 20s for having no responsibilities ‘ I mean she’s not even got kids ‘she was one of these mummy martyr types and I really wanted to say oh no one held a gun to your head and make you have two kids . I love winding these type up by just mentioning my pet every time they mention their offspring cause I’m sure they have as little interest in her as I do in their kids .

 

[Popcornshovel]

This thread is an interesting read for me, I am so tired of people asking me about children.

I am really not wanting to have any kids but my partner does the typical man thing where they say they want 3 kids but don't actually have any experience around children to form an opinion on having them other than the occasional holding of a niece or nephew, maybe some kids running round at a bbq. Not even babysitting or changing a nappy.

I just don't think that life is for me; I visited a friend recently to spend the day/evening together and stay overnight and I live a couple hours away, well I (stupidly) just assumed she’d get childcare/it would be the dads weekend to have the child but it turns out we only had the nursery daytime hours to spend together! After a bit of shopping and a lunch at nandos we had to pick up the child at 5ish and go back to hers!!? And my god, it was the most boring night ever. Like, why would you not arrange a weekend when the dad has the child? Did she seriously think I wanted to sit in her house doing nothing for the entire evening after driving 2 hours to visit. Absolute waste of time.

I think a lot of mums end up only friends with other mums since their entire social lives can then coincide with the children's soft play days out. They don't actually spend time with other women without their kids also being there. Then they cry saying 'oh friends change once you're a mummy, people don't bother!' I wonder why?????.....

Omg that sounds so annoying, why didn't she realise that would be boring for you? Especially if she could have picked a different time (like the dads weekend). And you'd travelled all that way. It's like they forget what having fun is like.

 

[whoareyouu]

Had to listen to someone at work slagging off a colleague who’s early 20s for having no responsibilities ‘ I mean she’s not even got kids ‘she was one of these mummy martyr types and I really wanted to say oh no one held a gun to your head and make you have two kids . I love winding these type up by just mentioning my pet every time they mention their offspring cause I’m sure they have as little interest in her as I do in their kids .

How dare someone in their early 20s enjoy life with no children.

Sounds like she’s jealous.

 

[StrawberryBanana90]

Can I get some inspiration from you guys for this weekend?

Me and my partner do want to get out and about this bank holiday but everywhere is probably going to be heaving with families - probably unavoidable I know!

How are you guys going to enjoy your long weekend? (If you have to work during it, I'm sorry )

 

[HoGi]

Can I get some inspiration from you guys for this weekend?

Me and my partner do want to get out and about this bank holiday but everywhere is probably going to be heaving with families - probably unavoidable I know!

How are you guys going to enjoy your long weekend? (If you have to work during it, I'm sorry )

I'm no help I'm afraid my plans mostly involve lay ins and food/drink
Cocktails and curry Friday night
Cocktails and Italian Saturday night
Sunday round (childfree) family for roast and games
Monday chill and domino's

 

[newtoyou]

Can I get some inspiration from you guys for this weekend?

Me and my partner do want to get out and about this bank holiday but everywhere is probably going to be heaving with families - probably unavoidable I know!

How are you guys going to enjoy your long weekend? (If you have to work during it, I'm sorry )

You could try going to a big country park if there’s one around, and walk off the main paths? Tends to be that parents won’t take their kids to areas that are a bit hilly or hard to get to

 

[JoeBloggs]

This thread is an interesting read for me, I am so tired of people asking me about children.

I am really not wanting to have any kids but my partner does the typical man thing where they say they want 3 kids but don't actually have any experience around children to form an opinion on having them other than the occasional holding of a niece or nephew, maybe some kids running round at a bbq. Not even babysitting or changing a nappy.

I just don't think that life is for me; I visited a friend recently to spend the day/evening together and stay overnight and I live a couple hours away, well I (stupidly) just assumed she’d get childcare/it would be the dads weekend to have the child but it turns out we only had the nursery daytime hours to spend together! After a bit of shopping and a lunch at nandos we had to pick up the child at 5ish and go back to hers!!? And my god, it was the most boring night ever. Like, why would you not arrange a weekend when the dad has the child? Did she seriously think I wanted to sit in her house doing nothing for the entire evening after driving 2 hours to visit. Absolute waste of time.

I think a lot of mums end up only friends with other mums since their entire social lives can then coincide with the children's soft play days out. They don't actually spend time with other women without their kids also being there. Then they cry saying 'oh friends change once you're a mummy, people don't bother!' I wonder why?????.....

I honestly think they just don't think other people do not want to spend time with their kid. My friend did this to me years ago and it really put me off. I flew all the way to Scotland to see her, we then had to sit in the car for 2 hours with her kid while we waited for her partner to finish work then we spent the evening at home. He didn't even offer to watch the kid so we could be alone.

The next visits I booked into a hotel as it was not for me!

 

[OatMatchaLatte]

Can I get some inspiration from you guys for this weekend?

Me and my partner do want to get out and about this bank holiday but everywhere is probably going to be heaving with families - probably unavoidable I know!

How are you guys going to enjoy your long weekend? (If you have to work during it, I'm sorry )

We're going to the theatre on Saturday night, and to a VR experience on Sunday. Friday and Monday are as yet unplanned, my husband will probably play golf at some point and I'll do some bits in the garden and have a declutter indoors. We have a forest nearby that I like walking around, and it's large enough to avoid kids, and the terrain is unsuitable for their stupid scooters.

I got the compost and plants last weekend to avoid the crowds

 

[ChastityDingle]

Had to listen to someone at work slagging off a colleague who’s early 20s for having no responsibilities ‘ I mean she’s not even got kids ‘she was one of these mummy martyr types and I really wanted to say oh no one held a gun to your head and make you have two kids . I love winding these type up by just mentioning my pet every time they mention their offspring cause I’m sure they have as little interest in her as I do in their kids .

A colleague made a snide remark to me one time, in front of others. along the lines of 'easily known you're not up half the night with a baby'. I said 'you made your choices and I made mine'.

 

[whoareyouu]

A colleague made a snide remark to me one time, in front of others. along the lines of 'easily known you're not up half the night with a baby'. I said 'you made your choices and I made mine'.

They’re so bitter. Honestly.

 

[newtoyou]

I have a huge amount of sympathy for Kate and William and her kids after her diagnosis. But so much of the talk slips in that a mother with cancer should never have been treated like that. How about we sympathise with her because she’s a human? Yes having children must make things really hard, but the adults in her life (who can understand things better) have to deal with this every day in A deeper way. I don’t know if I’m being harsh, but the first thing I thought was poor William instead of the kids.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Yeah, I know the kids are a bit younger than when he lost his mum, and very different circumstances, but I can't imagine he's not feeling resonance - also with his dad going through it at the same time. Poor guy.

 

[Mamacita]

I have a huge amount of sympathy for Kate and William and her kids after her diagnosis. But so much of the talk slips in that a mother with cancer should never have been treated like that. How about we sympathise with her because she’s a human? Yes having children must make things really hard, but the adults in her life (who can understand things better) have to deal with this every day in A deeper way. I don’t know if I’m being harsh, but the first thing I thought was poor William instead of the kids.

Yeah but adults are grown up and understand more about how the world works. Kids are in their formative years and the impact on their brains is higher.
I have to say that when people say things like 'think about the children' when someone is diagnosed doesn't mean to me the person isn't important as an individual. But as someone who lost a parent to cancer very young I know how big of an impact it can have on the child's life. Not that it doesn't have an effect on the rest of the family

 

[JoeBloggs]

I have a huge amount of sympathy for Kate and William and her kids after her diagnosis. But so much of the talk slips in that a mother with cancer should never have been treated like that. How about we sympathise with her because she’s a human? Yes having children must make things really hard, but the adults in her life (who can understand things better) have to deal with this every day in A deeper way. I don’t know if I’m being harsh, but the first thing I thought was poor William instead of the kids.

This is probably insensitive, but lets be honest her and those kids are some of the most privileged in the world. Yes her diagnosis is awful but she is not a single mum struggling. Cancer is an awful diagnosis for anyone, mother or not.

 

[Mamacita]

This is probably insensitive, but lets be honest her and those kids are some of the most privileged in the world. Yes her diagnosis is awful but she is not a single mum struggling. Cancer is an awful diagnosis for anyone, mother or not.

I don't think it matters for the kids if they're privileged or not where there is a potential they're going to lose their mum....

 

[ricemittens]

Can I get some inspiration from you guys for this weekend?

Me and my partner do want to get out and about this bank holiday but everywhere is probably going to be heaving with families - probably unavoidable I know!

How are you guys going to enjoy your long weekend? (If you have to work during it, I'm sorry )

My partner is working Friday all day so I’ll spend the morning with dog & horses before going to my parents for lunch/ afternoon before my partner gets back & we get fish and chips dinner. Saturday we’ll go for a nice long morning walk with dog and probably some things around the house. Sunday it will be another long walk before a pub lunch roast, our local is normally child free or very few and Monday a mooch around a market town

 

[JoeBloggs]

I don't think it matters for the kids if they're privileged or not where there is a potential they're going to lose their mum....

I don't deny that, but that isn't the reality we are being told. She is having preventative chemo. While it will be awful for them all as a family, but the children will be being looked after and she is getting the best medical care in the world.

 

[Mamacita]

I don't deny that, but that isn't the reality we are being told. She is having preventative chemo. While it will be awful for them all as a family, but the children will be being looked after and she is getting the best medical care in the world.

That doesn't mean it doesn't affect them though so not sure what the point you're making is. It's not about not being looked after to me, it's about the toll that cancer takes on the whole family and in particular children

 

[Popcornshovel]

Can I get some inspiration from you guys for this weekend?

Me and my partner do want to get out and about this bank holiday but everywhere is probably going to be heaving with families - probably unavoidable I know!

How are you guys going to enjoy your long weekend? (If you have to work during it, I'm sorry )

I definitely make plans with 'avoiding children' in mind!
I'm off on Thurs and doing a daytime pub crawl with my friend who's also child free and off work.
On Friday my other half is out so I'm gonna get some snacks in, read books and watch the Taylor Swift concert on Disney+.
On Saturday we've booked to an escape room.
Sunday gonna stay home, play board games and make a roast.
Monday might go for a walk at a national trust place for some fresh air, but stay away from the cafe as that'll be full of posh kids.

 

[JE172]

My partner is working Friday all day so I’ll spend the morning with dog & horses before going to my parents for lunch/ afternoon before my partner gets back & we get fish and chips dinner. Saturday we’ll go for a nice long morning walk with dog and probably some things around the house. Sunday it will be another long walk before a pub lunch roast, our local is normally child free or very few and Monday a mooch around a market town

I’d forgotten it was Good Friday fish and chips for tea!!! That’s made my week!!