Carrie Hope Fletcher #40 Engaged already, what a sham. Have a word #FletcherFam!

[jolene4745]

Still no sign of life on Carrie's side... even Joel was unusually quiet for the fact that she's back and that there was a big Halloween party at his lovely fiancée's house (considering that he managed to post approximately 432343 stories every day before even though nothing happened at all). Thoughts?

I thought it was odd she hasn’t posted about the Halloween party at her house… I am blocked from her stories so I can’t see if she’s posted any stories or not. Maybe it’s finally all hitting her and she’s opening her eyes. That or we’ll get a gross gushy post later about her and gummy bear Shrek. But yes, I thought it was odd she is being so quiet and am wondering others thoughts as well? I truly hope she leaves his toxic ass.

 

[instashun]

But they are on social media! So either they saw things in person that balances the crazy or they aren’t following the train wreck (and aren’t as supportive as we hope)

Didn’t someone says Joel’s mum was proper stagey and is probably wetting herself at the thought of being part of the Fletcher family too

 

[jdott]

I had a housemate once who had a boyfriend I throughly disliked, I didn’t say anything because I *thought* she was happy. She didn’t ever vocalise otherwise… until they split and it turned out he was massively emotionally abusive. Makes me wish I had voiced my concerns but also, I wouldn’t have wanted to put a wedge there. Must be so hard for her fam to know the right thing to do

 

[maddysw]

Does anyone know if Joel's dad is in the picture? I only ask because this whole thing is reminding me of a boyfriend I had when I was a teenager.

His dad had died when he was a kid, and his mum had overcompensated and basically given him no boundaries growing up. This led to him being really entitled in relationships with women. You wouldn't necessarily notice it as a friend, but as his girlfriend he was really pushy, guilt trippy, entitled. Would make me feel awful for criticising him or expressing any negative emotions. Would guilt trip me into doing things he wanted that I didn't. Wanted me to stay in touch constantly even when I had other things to do. Made me feel guilty for being ill and not being able to visit him, etc. Sound familiar?

From what we know, Joel's mum seems similar. Probably not for the same reason, but the same effect - inflating his ego, not setting boundaries which leads to a sense of entitlement. We see this in the language he uses, both in that whiny Facebook post about not being nominated for an award, and how possessive and guilt trippy he is when talking about Carrie going away. He likely has a skewed image of what close relationships with women should be like because of it (getting his own way all the time), and will become petulant when this isn't the case.

My ex was also very into proclaiming his love very intensely, saying we were meant to be together, he'd never love anyone else, etc. but it was all about control. I was very insecure at the time, and the guilt tripping and emotional manipulation wore me down. I just thought it was normal and that this was what I deserved. I worry that because Carrie was so heartbroken when she got with Joel that she might think the same. Well, that's not true! No one deserves being treated this way! Hopefully she sees sense before it goes too far.

(Add this into the pile of 'Joel reminds me of my abusive ex' because there's been loads of posts about that now!)

 

[ASAnigel]

I think she just knows not posting will create speculation. She’s asked people not to post her/the party but Scott’s her best friend so he’s just posted a couple of stories knowing she’s not in them.

I don’t think it’s as deep as her deciding she doesn’t wanna marry Joel.

she will have been the one organising the party knowing she’s back from Disney the day before and might be jet lagged - USA jet lag would have you more awake in the evening anyway so quite useful for a party.

 

[ImagineElspeth]

Maybe, just maybe she's learning to live her life offline a tiny bit
Nah, can't be that she's probably just crafting her next slideshow of engagement ring photos

 

[rosieposie87]

Does anyone know if Joel's dad is in the picture? I only ask because this whole thing is reminding me of a boyfriend I had when I was a teenager.

His dad had died when he was a kid, and his mum had overcompensated and basically given him no boundaries growing up. This led to him being really entitled in relationships with women. You wouldn't necessarily notice it as a friend, but as his girlfriend he was really pushy, guilt trippy, entitled. Would make me feel awful for criticising him or expressing any negative emotions. Would guilt trip me into doing things he wanted that I didn't. Wanted me to stay in touch constantly even when I had other things to do. Made me feel guilty for being ill and not being able to visit him, etc. Sound familiar?

From what we know, Joel's mum seems similar. Probably not for the same reason, but the same effect - inflating his ego, not setting boundaries which leads to a sense of entitlement. We see this in the language he uses, both in that whiny Facebook post about not being nominated for an award, and how possessive and guilt trippy he is when talking about Carrie going away. He likely has a skewed image of what close relationships with women should be like because of it (getting his own way all the time), and will become petulant when this isn't the case.

My ex was also very into proclaiming his love very intensely, saying we were meant to be together, he'd never love anyone else, etc. but it was all about control. I was very insecure at the time, and the guilt tripping and emotional manipulation wore me down. I just thought it was normal and that this was what I deserved. I worry that because Carrie was so heartbroken when she got with Joel that she might think the same. Well, that's not true! No one deserves being treated this way! Hopefully she sees sense before it goes too far.

(Add this into the pile of 'Joel reminds me of my abusive ex' because there's been loads of posts about that now!)

I don’t know Joel’s family background either, but this feels like a very sound analysis of him. I think because this thread is moving so fast we haven’t had a chance to sit with a lot of things. That Facebook post about the award was a huuuuge red flag! And ties in with so many other red flags that we’ve seen from him in this relationship.

Lack of boundaries can seem so innocuous, like awwww he’s just so in love!!! But it’s deeply concerning. And is really just a profound sense of entitlement. He absolutely is like a little boy who’s never been told no. The way he photoshopped himself in the Fletcher family holiday picture was absolutely unhinged. People just don’t behave like this, and for good reason!

If this is him 5 months in I’m terrified for what’s coming. Even in that live where he suggested he may perform with Carrie on her tour??? Bro that’s not your choice to make lmao. I really, really hate his new habit of making announcements about Carrie to her audience without her consent.

 

[jolene4745]

This is what my nightmares are made of.

 

[Houseofbane29]

Where can I find the photo off him photoshppping himself into the family pic? cannot believe a grown man has done that

 

[Sanctified]

Where can I find the photo off him photoshppping himself into the family pic? cannot believe a grown man has done that

Carrie Hope Fletcher #39 On the 12th day of Joelmas my true love gave to me… a lifetime of co-dependency

He did NOT just post that. I’m dead. DEAD. RIP me.

tattle.life

tbf it was someone else who did it, but we all predicted it. I wouldn't put it past him to have asked someone to do it to make himself less pathetic

 

[LiveLaughLube_outloud]

(Add this into the pile of 'Joel reminds me of my abusive ex' because there's been loads of posts about that now!)

Most of the posts on here now are coming from a place of genuine concern, and I'd hope Carrie would struggle to brush all of them off as meanie haters.

Her only options then are:
1) Many people on this thread have had toxic past relationships and are projecting this onto her perfect relationship because of their own trauma. In which case, surely you'd have to ask yourself - what about the way we're portraying our actually healthy relationship is triggering this, if it's not a reflection of reality?

Or
2) Joel's behaviour reminds many people on this thread of a traumatic relationship they've been in/around and are giving her the warnings they wish they'd paid attention to before things got worse.

 

[Houseofbane29]

Carrie Hope Fletcher #39 On the 12th day of Joelmas my true love gave to me… a lifetime of co-dependency

He did NOT just post that. I’m dead. DEAD. RIP me.

tattle.life

tbf it was someone else who did it, but we all predicted it. I wouldn't put it past him to have asked someone to do it to make himself less pathetic

OMG JESUS WEPT. CARRIE GET THAT RUNNING GEAR ON AND GET AWAY NOW

 

[onasidequest]

It scares me how much we joke/predict stuff and it comes true. I don't know if it's because he's scrolling through here looking for ideas. Or because so many women on here have been in similar situations with men and recognise the patterns in behaviour.

Makes me so sad that so many of you have had to go through this shite.

 

[jolene4745]

OMG JESUS WEPT. CARRIE GET THAT RUNNING GEAR ON AND GET AWAY NOW

Seriously. This is freaking unhinged. Carrie RUN don’t walk.

 

[GrilledCheese]

His behaviour is not even funny anymore. It's disturbing. We've brushed over so many red flags because something new comes up

 

[DaisySims89]

I think Carrie's silence is more odd because when she was away she posted about her engagement and flaunted her ring...then all of a sudden there is nothing.
She could be suffering from jet lag and coming down from the high of being at Disney but this is all so strange.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

I get she was young and idealistic when she wrote What I Know Now, I really do. But even if she wasn't being truthful in that book, it IS sad to see her go from telling her young fans to value themselves and wait for the right person, to hurtling down the aisle at full speed with the walking red flag

 

[Neycroo]

Does anyone know if Joel's dad is in the picture? I only ask because this whole thing is reminding me of a boyfriend I had when I was a teenager.

His dad had died when he was a kid, and his mum had overcompensated and basically given him no boundaries growing up. This led to him being really entitled in relationships with women. You wouldn't necessarily notice it as a friend, but as his girlfriend he was really pushy, guilt trippy, entitled. Would make me feel awful for criticising him or expressing any negative emotions. Would guilt trip me into doing things he wanted that I didn't. Wanted me to stay in touch constantly even when I had other things to do. Made me feel guilty for being ill and not being able to visit him, etc. Sound familiar?

From what we know, Joel's mum seems similar. Probably not for the same reason, but the same effect - inflating his ego, not setting boundaries which leads to a sense of entitlement. We see this in the language he uses, both in that whiny Facebook post about not being nominated for an award, and how possessive and guilt trippy he is when talking about Carrie going away. He likely has a skewed image of what close relationships with women should be like because of it (getting his own way all the time), and will become petulant when this isn't the case.

My ex was also very into proclaiming his love very intensely, saying we were meant to be together, he'd never love anyone else, etc. but it was all about control. I was very insecure at the time, and the guilt tripping and emotional manipulation wore me down. I just thought it was normal and that this was what I deserved. I worry that because Carrie was so heartbroken when she got with Joel that she might think the same. Well, that's not true! No one deserves being treated this way! Hopefully she sees sense before it goes too far.

(Add this into the pile of 'Joel reminds me of my abusive ex' because there's been loads of posts about that now!)

Wasn't the fat guy by Joel's mum in the engagement party photos the dad?

 

[GrilledCheese]

On the other hand she has been drinking recently so she could be hung over and that's why she's quiet. But she did look sad during their engagement meal

 

[cp1992]

This whole thing makes me so upset. I’m here as a Carrie fan, not a hater. She has to get out of this relationship! He’s going to destroy her. He’s a manipulative, controlling, love bombing, SA supporting CREEP. It fills me with so much concern that the rest of the Fletcher Fam, Scott etc aren’t saying anything!? Im wondering if he asked Carrie’s dads permission.. did he actually agree to this!? This is just so scary. How is she not seeing this. I think she assumes the only people who use Tattle and the likes are against her, but it’s abundantly clear that the vast majority of us in here are airing genuine CONCERN for her. Please, if you read here Carrie, look after yourself and get out x