Zoella #4 Nostalgic for the nineties, looks age nighty. Forever the gf, no engagement from Alfie

[Gigglez]

True! Maybe now she's had her path done though? Why is Zoe even growing them? It's a little kid thing! Mind you.....!

Actually it’s nice to see her trying to grow something. I have a feeling her mother influenced that. Gardening is not a “little kid thing” lol I know plenty of grown adults who grow sunflowers, myself included. Having a garden and taking care of it properly is a very adult thing to do.
It would be nice to see her follow in her mother’s footsteps growing flowers and food, her mother’s garden is beautiful! I don’t think Zoe at this point has enough patience or commitment to have a garden she tends to herself, it is a lot of work! Like mentioned it’ll be the gardeners job but at least she’s attempting to grow something herself.

 

[Gigglez]

I laughed so hard, I think that’s Alfie’s hair stylist in the background, he looks so fucking thrilled to be there...
Why the fuck did she invite both hair stylists!
Answer: no friends
What a nightmare

 

[Alightened]

It'll be another table laden with every carb known to man. There'll be enough sugar to sink a ship. Pizzas the size of dustbin lids etc etc etc. Most of it will be wasted and chucked away. There'll be at least 5 different birthday cakes gifted from various Brighton bakeries. These will be left to go dry and then chucked out. It makes me so angry for all the food those stupid adult children waste when it could be donated to a good cause.

 

[Oohthedrama]

I'm a total killjoy but the amount of plastic they have is shocking - single use decorations, shit sweets and shit chemical drinks. All makes me feel a bit sick.

They'll have to do several loads in the landrover to get all this crap into landfill like they do at Christmas. I bet she got that Walkman from eBay and will bin it once the party is over.

This is really really, REALLY pissing me off lately,
these are the same shits that will upload Spons for “I tried to use less plastic for a week” or bang on about straws and reusable coffee cups and single use plastic being evil, like they’re single handedly saving the planet by mentioning it once,
yet look and the amount of sheer waste they create.
The Hinchers, the stupid idiot influencers that filled their cupboards with 20 bottles of Poundland crap because that bloody woman told them to.
Now I know Zoe didn’t jump on this trend but why do they constantly get a hall pass for their behaviour,
yet one smaller YouTuber uses a plastic straw and the gates to hell are opened.
Everything about her makes me feel static,
it’s all fast fashion and land fill content. It gives me the rage.

@Web30 @blurstoftimes she does in fact look like she’s pushing 80 your right

 

[Gigglez]

I’ll just leave this here...

 

[GossWhore]

The Gleam machine! View attachment 10281

Now give it to your cleaner Zoe

 

[calisgossiping]

holy shit did you guys know about this? I just found this because of youtube recommendation and it is sooo good. Brilliant execution.

 

[Oohthedrama]

Can I just say,
God bless the mess that is Tanya Burr, Alfie Deyes and Zoe Sugg.
THIS IS THE BRIT CREW IM LIVING FOR

Let’s use S Club 7’s Paul as a visual representation of the UK YouTube crew from their heyday,
until now

Everyone's back to blowing smoke up alfies arse cos he got zoella sclub for her bday.He cant give her what she really wants though,all this will have blown over in a couple of weeks

Legitimately, might as well have been the tellytubbies.
She didn’t even get Steps...I could half respect Steps
I mean who doesn’t love tragedy (AKA Zoe’s life)

 

[thenomad]

For someone who was making such a big deal out of her 90s themed party you think she could dress up accordingly. That's not 90s, Zoe. As a 90s baby myself, I'm pretty offended.

I'm surprised she let people film her sad birthday. All the people she invited are on her payroll or need her for views. Interesting that it seems Alfie didn't really hang out with Zoe judging by his 374389389 IG stories.

Also... S Club 3...?! Wow that is not how I would want to celebrate the last year of my 20s. If anything this really puts into context how sad her whole life is. Alfie didn't even do a specific birthday post or an IG story dedicated to Zoe. He just filmed bits of the festivity and her breakfast spread (that's probably in the trash now). And don't get me started on his HP outfit. He didn't even try and I bet those fake glasses he pulled from his collection of fake glasses he has on hand. Always doing things last minute this one...

I love how much Joe phones it in for Zoe's birthday each year. He did the same last year in New York and I bet he was texting Dianne the whole time how miserable he is. He can't even fake his happiness or enjoy the celebration. I mean we weren't at the party but even we can tell it was a bust and reeked of desperation.

 

[Ken Adams]

Zoella #5 - her biological clock is knocking on her door but her boyfriend has the mental age of 4

 

[moimoi]

Lmao S Club THREE playing for Zoe and her 15 mates. This is the most tragic thing ever.

 

[sonnenschein8]

Why the f*** is Alfie dressed as Harry Potter for a 90s party???? Yes I get the books were from 97 onwards, but I’m willing to put my life on it that he hasn’t read them, and the first film wasn’t made until 2001 and it’s hardly stereotypical or “classic 90s”


S Club 7 singing “youre my number one” is Alfie anywhere near Zoe, no, he’s off in the corner filming himself dancing with Steve [emoji23] dead af

 

[Oohthedrama]

Disney vlogger who now works at Disney HQ.
THIS!!!!

 

[StephenTJackson]

View attachment 12640

1. She had a couples massage with Poppy?? This reminds me of that Gilmore Girls episode when Emily booked a couples massage for Lorelai and her:
"Lorelai: A couple's massage is for a couple not a couple of people.
Mom, do you know what most people who get these massages do about five minutes after it's over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes."

2. At her house! She really needs to see another therapist...

If she suffers from anxiety, does she not realise that having everything at home doesn’t help her deal with her anxiety. She doesn’t learn coping techniques, she doesn’t learn how to know when she is heading towards an anxiety attack or anything. It is just making it worse for herself. She needs a proper therapist, not a Skype therapist, but that would mean leaving the house.

And this is a woman who wants to have a child, I suppose it would be a home birth because she can’t leave the house. But how will she cope having to take a child to school/nursery if she has no coping strategy for her anxiety. She does herself absolutely no favours.

 

[cherry198]

I posted this over on gg but thought I'd post here too since we were talking about zoes bday and her manchild boyfriend.

I keep seeing people saying how they are #goals and how he loves her so much and is super romantic.Like others have said Alfie just throws money at things and everyone’s perceives it as him being romantic.The hideously expensive necklace for her birthday last year,those Cartier love bracelets,the car she never drives for their anniversary,the fireworks and now half of s club in a tent in their back garden.Alfie doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body and appears to hate any kind of affection shown.Throwing money at things just creates a smoke screen so people are looking at the big event rather than everything else

 

[MunkyMagic]

If you didn't know Zoe you would think "The boys" were her children (including Alfie)

Why does she always write like some cringey, 80s teen magazine journo? “delish” indeed. “Bad boys club” the other day. She 29!!!! TWENTY NINE!!! Zoe, grow the fuck up.

 

[newtoyou]

‘Anything for those clicks’
Yep; exactly what your boyfriend does ZoZo


Also outed Alfie as a liar, he kept saying last year they were refilming the sims and wanted a backlog of episodes before they started releasing them...... hmmmmmm okay then....

I’m living for this Q and A

"There's only so much filming of a guinea pig you can do and we didn't film them much" ? But that's the point, she used to film them all the time until they got nala, and then she stopped and you rarely saw them outside the cage. There didnt seem to be any problem filming them pre-Nala

 

[blurstoftimes]

The more I think about it, the more I feel depressed at the thought of being at a party with about 20 people in a half-empty marquee having to watch 3 formerly "successful" singers who haven't had a hit in literally 20 years desperately doing what they can to earn a couple of quid and make ends meet by essentially being paid to act as performing nostalgia monkeys

 

[GossWhore]

 

[StephenTJackson]

She can't even be sorting out her mp3s. Remember when that was a weekend of work

Organising all the illegally downloaded music into albums, uploading it on to iTunes and even adding the album artwork. I can’t be the only one who took it to extremes like that back in the day?

Maybe she is organising her list of pizza takeaways. Which ones are best for freebies, which ones are best for chances of getting a ad. Which ones have the least tomato sauce on because get that healthy(ish) fruit away, she only wants the beige carbs.