Toddler advice thread #4

[WhatABore]

Thanks, WhatABore. I think we’re probably about average, maybe on the lower end. About 120 - 150 words, mostly two word sentences. Daddy work (only daddy works, apparently!) mummy’s here, noisy daddy, bye bye nanny, hello duck, biscuit please, naughty cat. Couple of three word sentences - can say what is it, although sounds more like What Shit and what you doing. And all day long when singing wheels on the bus.

Friends kids are practically reciting Shakespeare, potty trained, counting to twenty, able to identify colours and so on … I’m annoyed with myself as I always vowed I wouldn’t get dragged into any nonsense but then I find myself stressing out!

It's very hard not to compare
All 3 of my kids have been totally different!
My youngest is 2 on Saturday and she's picked up quite a bit but is still below "average" for a 2 year old. But I'm not worried as she'll pick it up in her own time. She was only saying 3 words by 18 months.
My other 2 were potty trained by 2 and a half. But I can't see her being ready yet.
Same as they were in beds just after they turned 2. But again, she won't be ready.
Yet she was walking at 10 months, middle child was 1 year and oldest wasn't until 18 months.
So they are all so so different.
They've all been raised the same.

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

We’re another once a week hair wash household here. I have however taught my daughter how to lie back and tip her head under the water (with my arm underneath her) which completed got rid of all banshee screaming because now “I’m a mermaid mummy”

 

[al255]

Oh my word. Just sent my 3.5 year old to nursery in her pjs cos she wouldn’t get dressed, up at 6.15am and it’s been one drama after another. She refused to come down, tried to carry her and i was close to dropping her. She wouldn’t do anything. Just handed her to nursery and she’s absolutely fuming, she wouldn’t even get dressed for them. I got in the car and cried cos I was so angry and annoyed I’ve started the first few hours of my day with a screaming child who wouldn’t listen at all!

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

I’m just fuming. “£15 to my name till Tuesday” yeah but you can go out and get drunk all weekend what about saving £10 to get to the party. He didn’t even bother asking his mum he just expected her to be available to take them he’s a waste of space. He winds me up so much. Eventually she won’t want to go to his house and that won’t be my fault, when all she does there is stay in and it’s boring! His nan (her great grandma) doesn’t like A being there cos she’s messy and gets every toy out etc.

When I went away her dad asked me if he could stay here with her and I said no. Not happening. I’m just on one today he infuriates me.

He’s infuriating me too and he’s not even my daughters dad so you’re perfectly justified to feel that way. It’s so tough when you want the best for your daughter but also want him to figure this out for himself, eg you calling his mum to check if she could take him - why isn’t he taking that initiative? Such poor behaviour

 

[Definitelyme]

Can I ask advice. My little one is 20 months and still has a bottle of milk before bed (I know, I need to wean her off this). She'll generally take or leave milk the rest of the day and will drink from a cup of she has it in the day so that's fine, I think the bottle at night is mainly for comfort.

So here's my problem- we've always done bath, cuddles, milk, teeth then bed, but for the last couple of weeks or so after teeth she starts asking for milk again and often gets almost hysterical, so we've given in a few times because otherwise putting her to bed takes so much longer. This happens even if she's had a big dinner and drunk all her milk before teeth, so it's not hunger. It's like all of a sudden she wants milk to be the last thing she does before bed, I don't get why as this was never an issue before. But obviously this will be damaging to her teeth if we do this long term.

We've tried offering water instead of milk but that goes down even worse than not offering anything. Any tips?

Honestly, I really wouldn’t worry about it at all. The milk is obviously a comfort thing, and you wouldn’t deny her comfort from a teddy or a cuddle, so don’t think there is anything wrong with her seeking comfort from the milk. I understand from the teeth point of view, but if you are brushing them well previously, and it’s not every night it really isn’t a big deal. She won’ t need it forever.

 

[al255]

Can we just breathe a sigh of relief for my 3 year old, the fussiest eater when it comes to frozen freezer stuff. She’s finally eating potato waffles she hates beige food! She’s starving after swimming so lunch is always abit earlier and she wants waffles and beans with fruit amazing LOL smiley faces next lol..

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi guys! New to tattle, new to the thread - have a 1 year old in a month and could use the online friends

hi there! You should look out for the “boddler” thread as well. A few of us are over there with 1-2yo who don’t quite fit the same parameters as the older toddlers

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

My 4yo daughter woke up and chose violence today. She’s normally amazing and I was anticipating her struggling with the arrival of her baby brother but she lured me into a false sense of security by being the kindest, sweetest kid until today. I haven’t been able to say a single thing to her without her shouting/disagreeing/crying and just generally being mean.
Not looking for advice really, I know she’s only four and all this is expected because she’s had a massive upheaval to her life. I also know I’m being hormonal and therefore not thinking rationally. Just needed to vent

 

[Jellybean093]

I’m so glad I am out of the stage of washing a girls hair. Would feel like I was performing an exorcism

 

[Jellybean093]

I enquired about a nursery for 1 day a week for the baby and it’s £94 a day. And I have to supply nappies, wipes and bottles

 

[Borntorun]

I would say go for it when you’re ready. I have done it on my timeline with my older 3, I made the choice when to start, and they all did it absolutely fine. A few accidents along the way but certainly nothing major. I think the younger the better, tbh, before they get too many opinions about it the people I hear having most problems are usually people who wait until 3+.

I agree. I think you need to pick a convenient time and just go for it. We did it as early as possible as i prefer not changing nappies

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

@PillowsofFluff as others have said, you’re absolutely not being a dick. When you’re 18/not a parent it’s hard to imagine the logistics of having a 3 year old at events, so she hasn’t done anything wrong in what she’s arranged; but equally she cannot expect you to change the entire routine or do something you’re not comfortable with just to attend. I would say to her that if she was willing to bring the start time forwards to 6, you’d be able to come for a little bit, but if not then you’d like to do something else for her to celebrate and just leave it at that.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

its harsh langague but if it scares her she wouldn’t ever do it again.

And it’s true she could be taken - it happens!

Is scaring the right thing to do

 

[Bobbleowl90]

Anybody else suffer with massive mum guilt?

3yo had the biggest tantrum today and I lost my shit after a really shit day just not listening or doing anything as told. But now they’re in bed I’m sat down and want to cry. I am pregnant so v hormonal and emotional but I don’t want to be a mum who shouts and loses my shit. Going to hope for a better day tomorrow and work on myself. I feel so crap I crept into the bedroom to give a kiss on the forehead and felt so sad

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

My little one has just gone to sleep no arguments or anything. I started bed time at 655. He had a bath at 6 and we’ve been in bed he had the iPad for a bit and then a book then nothing and just gone to sleep in 15 mins bless him. It’s SO much better when he doesn’t fight me 🥹

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Tried packing a lunch for mini me today, still burst in to tears at lunch. She was so excited to show everyone her lunch box and stuff as well. I just don't know what's going on

 

[Jellybean093]

When my daughter had her pre school jabs the nurse said she might lose her appetite and it’s nice not being asked for a snack every minute of the day

Last night she insisted nanny does bath and bedtime (nanny is here until Tuesday) and I should feel glad for the break but why do I feel rejected

I have had to top up my snack drawer THREE times this week thanks to half term and 3 children who live by aldi snacks

 

[aggytha]

Thanks, WhatABore. I think we’re probably about average, maybe on the lower end. About 120 - 150 words, mostly two word sentences. Daddy work (only daddy works, apparently!) mummy’s here, noisy daddy, bye bye nanny, hello duck, biscuit please, naughty cat. Couple of three word sentences - can say what is it, although sounds more like What Shit and what you doing. And all day long when singing wheels on the bus.

Friends kids are practically reciting Shakespeare, potty trained, counting to twenty, able to identify colours and so on … I’m annoyed with myself as I always vowed I wouldn’t get dragged into any nonsense but then I find myself stressing out!

easier said than done but please try not to stress about your little ones speech! It sounds like they are doing fantastically. My little one is 2 years and 9 months and has speech delay. She has been receiving private speech therapy for almost 6 months now and only has around 10 words. I am super proud of how well she is doing but I would be absolutely overjoyed if she had quarter of the expressive language your little one does!

This is absolutely not to take away from your concerns, more to hopefully reassure you. Your thoughts and feelings are perfectly valid and you are doing a great job! It’s so easy to get caught up in comparing, but it sounds very much so like your little one is well within the realms of normal. There’s no harm in contacting your health visitor for a chat though who will be able to advise

 

[Definitelyme]

Hello. I have a friend who got a little girl who was a prem and is comng up to 3 years old. Her daughter weights 2 stone 4 lbs as of yesterday (she weight her every Saturday) friend is freaking out as thinking daughter is overweight everyone saying g oh she a heavy one isn't she. I bet your over feeding her (she isn't trust me the kid eats all fruit veg as good size meals as junk food on weekends) if people don't stop it's going to set her bulimia off. Her daughter is a solid child. As being from when started soilds. Plus the kid is strong she pulled her mum over who is strong herself and was a solid baby herself. I told her the kid is fine. Don't worry she a.toddler all under 4 year olds have extra weight on them but it drops when schools start. So can someone on here tell me she is panicking over nothing.

Obviously a rough estimate but based on the WHO growth charts she is somewhere between 75th and 91st centile. So bog standard average.
Anyone commenting on a small child’s weight is a dickhead who shouldn’t be listened to.
But at the same time it’s definitely not true to say they lose weight when they start school. I don’t know if any child that has happened to. They are very active before school, and their weight should be increasing steadily at that age. There is no reason for it to drop when they start school and that would be a big concern.
If she is concerned she should speak to HV of GP.

 

[ElektraWintour]

‘Maybe we don’t sniff other people’s privates’ - a sentence I never thought I’d have to say