Toddler advice thread #4

[JulesC]

Had a really hard day again. Apparently she was fine at preschool. Was fine in the morning but did push back on going there a bit. As soon as I picked her up she was on one. The emotional reactivity is so high and I can’t do anything right. She tells me to stop talking, if I do anything other than sit and breathe next to her it’s wrong. I’ve cried a lot once she was in bed. I just read about the limbic leap, is this a real thing?

Ahh sorry you’ve had a crappy day. My daughter can be like this sometimes when I pick her up from preschool and I definitely think she’s going through some sort of leap at the moment as she’s having outbursts, getting frustrated and not sleeping through the night. Seems particularly clingy to me as well. How old is your daughter? Mine is 3 years 8 months. I know this is easier said than done but if possible when she is like that, I would try and do what she wants you to do - sometimes it’s not worth the battle but I know that’s not always possible.

Just had a quick look at the limbic leap, seems to be trademarked and pushed by one author so I’m not sure about it but I’m going to look into leaps for 3 year olds to see if I can work out what’s going on with my daughter. I hope you can get some rest tonight and hopefully tomorrow is better

 

[HelloFreshDiscountCode]

We are at the time of night where the meltdowns happen, and the tantrums start, and everyone should really be going to bed but it’s still way too early to send them yet.
And my 3 year old definitely should have had a nap today but refused and now he’s just absolutely beside himself screaming the house down.
Pray for us all. We need it.

 

[al255]

Oh my word. Just sent my 3.5 year old to nursery in her pjs cos she wouldn’t get dressed, up at 6.15am and it’s been one drama after another. She refused to come down, tried to carry her and i was close to dropping her. She wouldn’t do anything. Just handed her to nursery and she’s absolutely fuming, she wouldn’t even get dressed for them. I got in the car and cried cos I was so angry and annoyed I’ve started the first few hours of my day with a screaming child who wouldn’t listen at all!

 

[ElektraWintour]

Had a really hard day again. Apparently she was fine at preschool. Was fine in the morning but did push back on going there a bit. As soon as I picked her up she was on one. The emotional reactivity is so high and I can’t do anything right. She tells me to stop talking, if I do anything other than sit and breathe next to her it’s wrong. I’ve cried a lot once she was in bed. I just read about the limbic leap, is this a real thing?

My daughter is always smiling and happy at nursery and I’m constantly told she’s had a great day and then it starts as soon as in the car on the way home, the crying and whining. I think she holds in her big feelings all day and then explodes when she’s home in a safe place with me.

We’ve had a meltdown this morning because I told her we were going to her favourite class and then it was cancelled going to have to spend the morning at the park now instead

 

[LilyRose1234]

My daughter is always smiling and happy at nursery and I’m constantly told she’s had a great day and then it starts as soon as in the car on the way home, the crying and whining. I think she holds in her big feelings all day and then explodes when she’s home in a safe place with me.

We’ve had a meltdown this morning because I told her we were going to her favourite class and then it was cancelled going to have to spend the morning at the park now instead

The whining just goes right through me, I’d rather she screamed or cried!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Soooo all week my fella has been dropping our boy off. He just walks in smiles gives him a kiss goodbye and wanders off to play

what do I get …. Clinging to my legs. Crying, hand out , hand wrapped round my finger won’t let go
were both heartbroken

why does he do this to me

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

My daughter is always smiling and happy at nursery and I’m constantly told she’s had a great day and then it starts as soon as in the car on the way home, the crying and whining. I think she holds in her big feelings all day and then explodes when she’s home in a safe place with me.

We’ve had a meltdown this morning because I told her we were going to her favourite class and then it was cancelled going to have to spend the morning at the park now instead

I think this is the case as the feedback this morning was that she had a really positive day and being really helpful with tidy up etc. and had time in the garden. I think that she went to a point of over compliance and self restraint and let it all out at home ‍

 

[PillowsofFluff]

Soooo all week my fella has been dropping our boy off. He just walks in smiles gives him a kiss goodbye and wanders off to play

what do I get …. Clinging to my legs. Crying, hand out , hand wrapped round my finger won’t let go
were both heartbroken

why does he do this to me

I think I've said before, but it's the opposite here. I usually do drop off and she goes in fine, bounces off to see her little mates no probs. Daddy takes her and all hell breaks loose, wailing, sobbing, the works

She's always fine within 5 minutes though. They just love to tug at your heartstrings.

 

[Definitelyme]

I think this is the case as the feedback this morning was that she had a really positive day and being really helpful with tidy up etc. and had time in the garden. I think that she went to a point of over compliance and self restraint and let it all out at home ‍

It is definitely true that they can be great all day, and the hard work that is for them exhausts them and when they are safe with you it all just explodes out of them. And that is so hard, because we get all the rubbish, and it feels like you never get your lovely child x

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I think I've said before, but it's the opposite here. I usually do drop off and she goes in fine, bounces off to see her little mates no probs. Daddy takes her and all hell breaks loose, wailing, sobbing, the works

She's always fine within 5 minutes though. They just love to tug at your heartstrings.

His dad is like does he not care about me all dramatic hahaha I said you don’t want him to be upset irs horrible
Yeah he’s always fine it’s just the initial drop off

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

It is definitely true that they can be great all day, and the hard work that is for them exhausts them and when they are safe with you it all just explodes out of them. And that is so hard, because we get all the rubbish, and it feels like you never get your lovely child x

This is what I thought but when I had the meeting they said it’s not normal. I suppose as part of the bigger picture it points more to neurodivergence than usual meltdowns.

 

[Definitelyme]

This is what I thought but when I had the meeting they said it’s not normal. I suppose as part of the bigger picture it points more to neurodivergence than usual meltdowns.

Oh they were very, very wrong! Sure even myself I’m all happy smiley lovely colleague at work all day. I get home and I’m so grumpy

 

[smellsofbiscuits]

Soooo all week my fella has been dropping our boy off. He just walks in smiles gives him a kiss goodbye and wanders off to play

what do I get …. Clinging to my legs. Crying, hand out , hand wrapped round my finger won’t let go
were both heartbroken

why does he do this to me

In a weird way, it's a sort of compliment. He probably sees you as his "safe" person. Even at this age, kids can put on the same kind of front we do. Like if you're at work and having to sit next to someone you can't stand. You'd hold it in and rant to your partner when you get home. Toddlers do exactly the same which is my kids behave great at their childcare then start battering lumps out me when I arrive to pick them up

Sorry, I appreciate that's not much help. But understanding the reasoning behind the behaviour made it easier to manage. Still tit at times though

 

[Jellybean093]

Oh my word. Just sent my 3.5 year old to nursery in her pjs cos she wouldn’t get dressed, up at 6.15am and it’s been one drama after another. She refused to come down, tried to carry her and i was close to dropping her. She wouldn’t do anything. Just handed her to nursery and she’s absolutely fuming, she wouldn’t even get dressed for them. I got in the car and cried cos I was so angry and annoyed I’ve started the first few hours of my day with a screaming child who wouldn’t listen at all!

We are going through the same. Everything is no. Doesn’t want to go bed/get dressed/eat. Every morning it’s a battle with him that I end up putting him in the car while I run around getting everyone’s shoes on. He’s started to hide as well and think it’s hilarious. He’s being a bit cheeky at nursery as well, which is fantastic 🫠

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Oh they were very, very wrong! Sure even myself I’m all happy smiley lovely colleague at work all day. I get home and I’m so grumpy

I mean she gets her attitude from me 100%

On a less woe is me note.. I only passed my driving test in October and haven’t had much chance to practice as new baby in January. Today I drove over to the next town and parked in a very busy car park and took both kids to the splash park. Currently sat in the shade while she has a splash around.

 

[JulesC]

This is what I thought but when I had the meeting they said it’s not normal. I suppose as part of the bigger picture it points more to neurodivergence than usual meltdowns.

I definitely think my daughter holds it in all day and then lets it all out when I pick her up. It is like us at work and when you get home you can cry/scream/shout whatever you need to do!! Always feel like my daughter has to decompress after a day in pre-school.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Picked him up early and he ran at me giving me a big hug . God I love him
---
Also does someone want to do the next thread

I would but I don’t feel it’s appropriate to have a half naked footballer as the thread pic

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

I definitely think my daughter holds it in all day and then lets it all out when I pick her up. It is like us at work and when you get home you can cry/scream/shout whatever you need to do!! Always feel like my daughter has to decompress after a day in pre-school.

I totally understand that which is why I guess I hadn’t connected the dots that there was more to it. Does your daughter do it all evening until she goes to bed? Some days she’s fine and others it’s like her brain is on fire ‍

 

[JulesC]

I totally understand that which is why I guess I hadn’t connected the dots that there was more to it. Does your daughter do it all evening until she goes to bed? Some days she’s fine and others it’s like her brain is on fire ‍

It’s rare that it’s all evening, she usually eventually comes round but have to either give her food or sit her down in front of the tv to calm her down when she’s on one. Sometimes I’ll think she’s ok then she will kick off when it’s bedtime again but I guess a lot of kids do that.

 

[al255]

A’s dad was meant to get her from nursery but I picked her up early once I’d finished work and I just gave her a huge cuddle, I’ve been in an awful, crappy mood all day cos of this morning and I won’t see her tomorrow until she’s asleep cos she’s with her Dad and I just had such mum guilt that we didn’t say bye to each other properly she’s at her dads now and she’s fine!