TheNurseMum #8

[Spyglass]

I'd like to know where all the fundraiser money before he passed went. Then what has this fundraiser been spent on because funerals for children are free.
I'm not going to discuss blame on here and keep my options to myself on that matter but....
This rainbow shit since he passed. Like mentioned above is all for the brand. Its pretty damn obvious what her intentions are.
In the earlier days he was in a full pad, leaking all over the carpets everyday. Then when he was dressed it was extremely baggy clothes that were chavvy. Then she started trying to get in with the influencers and working with brands and then it was all Zara and dressing him in stuff she'd never done just for the free clothes so she wouldn't need to fork out dressing him. Let's not forget the constant begs for him being a model for clothing brands.
Now all of a sudden rainbows were him.
She couldn't even chuck a spare pair of clothes in the car in case he had one of his 50 vomits a day for crying out loud.
I could spot the brand/shop coming a mile off when the affirmations on the tote was purposefully placed in stories at the coast. The leather jacket. The trainers.
The staged pictures of her working on the shop by her friend.... like fuck they were taken randomly.
Nothing is random with her. It's always been calculated, planned right from the beginning.
The crying in stories. I am all for people speaking out about grief. It needs to be done. It needs to be discussed.... but getting her phone out to film her cry? Sorry but that whole thing gave me staged vibes.
Getting people to share their memories of her son.... non of these people knew him!!!!!!!I are strangers. And all of that is for engagement. Don't D M me your memories put them on the post.... engagement.

Everything is done to higher her profile. I wondered where she'd go with this after his death and hoped she'd take herself off and grieve. But no. The swipe up links are back, profiting off him as per usual. I am absolutely devasted for J. We all watched the neglect, the questionable actions.
I do believe this thread should be here. If you don't like it don't read simple.

Did I ever see her reaching out to grieving parents before her own son passed?no.
Did I ever see her give to others fundraisers?no.
Did I ever see her supporting over diagnosis and health matters?no.
I saw her making it all about her every time. Slagging off cancer wards the same wards her new pals Saff and Ash stayed on. I saw her never supporting anyone unless is gained her something.

Every child that dies has the same devastating impact as the other. It is the most heartbreaking, world ending thing to happen to a parent. Seeing her with thousands of support, money to splurge and show off, seeing her hold firework displays, getting strangers to share their favourite pictures of j, lighting candles, making merchandise off a child who never could agree to any of the things even when he was here.... it's too far. But she's not thinking of others who are grieving. Of his dad who probably has no say in all of this. Of his family who have all now appeared in a off of smoke. Of the people giving their money to line her pockets so she can carry on the influencer life, having people kiss her arse because she gets off on that. And most importantly this isn't fair on j.

His whole life was laid bare, vomits, leaking patches, burnt skin, naked body, pain, distress, missed feeds and meds, being passed from carer to father, the ableism from his own mother.... and now even in death his life is still being paraded around like its a cinema showing that people have to buy a ticket for. This isn't a time to make profit and share swipe up links. A little boy has sadly passed and I am in complete shock that she has surpassed all my expectations. I honestly thought it would end. This will never end.

 

[Spyglass]

If anyone is new here and has the time to... get yourself a bottle of wine and a packet of biscuits and have a read through the previous threads on her.
There has been so much negligence from his mother throughout his life. Before he passed, things were getting increasingly worrying and sadly I think a lot of us saw it heading this way.
We've all seen the consistent missing medication, taking him off vital medication to make him poorly, going against many professionals and starving that poor boy. Buying hot tubs for a child with kidney problems. Leaving his tube hanging out, open to infection and letting it be pulled up his tops to show he's disabled.... all the while making his gastrostomy site bigger so she could score higher on the skin section of Continuing Health care. Every section in that carer criteria was looked at by her and used to make her boy worse so she wouldn't need to look after him.

He's been passed around to anyone who would have him, left carers in hospital with her poorly son so she could be at home getting pissed up with random men and boasting about her handbags in the hot tub she said she could never use for her because of her skin. The hot tub that was left to go mouldy and could have seriously damaged the mechanics but she couldnt give a shit about people's hard earned cash as long as its there to spend on her.

Letting her son play with knifes, putting coins in his mouth, never strapping him in car correctly, letting him open windows and doors with his feet in the car. Putting him in the death trap of a high chair she had previously insisted she needed a specialist chair. Lying about the feeding school taster not going ahead. Leaving her son in a children's hospice to go abroad to Paris, Venice.... with her ex bf.

All these designer goods she'd show off slyly but her son in the earlier days wore only a dirty pad which she'd allow him to take off and smear all over the carpet. The kittens she'd let shit and piss everywhere and never teach her son to be gentle. The selling from his hospital bed, using his starving to sell weighing scales.

The amount of insisting he couldn't move around but would then film him bum shuffling, standing, stepping. Insisting he couldn't toilet but then used him for potty training ads. Insisting he couldn't communicate at all but then all of a sudden could talk, use Makaton etc. Always making out his disabilities were more than they were to bring in the fundraisers.... the pity.... the carer appeals.

The boy never got the hype of Xmas or birthdays.In his own mothers words he didn't understand it. But then can be seen spelling words on his ipad. His mother's own ableism towards her son was sickening.

I hardly ever saw that poor boy have fun with his mother without the lavish holidays. lets face it those holidays were for her and he got dragged around. Hence the urge to get him eating so she could get abroad easier .He went to school then he'd be sat in that high chair with the ipad constantly. School transport to stick on another 2 hiurs child free j she'd have. No baking, no playing, no painting. The same day in day out. Unless he was being dragged to London to hand over to his dad so she could live the life she's always wanted. And even with school, transport, carers, his dad, her family she kept quiet... she still couldn't manage. She still would say she's late putting an ad together... missing appointments , missing feeds, missing sending paperwork off. What was she doing?setting up her candles and random mirror on the hallway for yet another posed selfish in her same cleavage showing top?? Face full of slap everyday but was so exhausted. Priorities. They were lacking and always were so wrong.

Everything has always been about her. The lifestyle she is clinging on to. Clinging to carers so she didn't have to actually parent her child. Taking every ad going and using her sons disability to get the engagement up for it.

Shes deleted some of the most outrageous stories and posts because she reads here.

I am gutted j was failed. I will not say my thoughts on blame .... but I know that boy was let down massively. I hope there's an inquest and they take on board issues raised by many people on here who have reported various things. Oh there's guilt there alright. I think she knows exactly her actions And scared abiut those consequences.Hence the photos of him just before he passed being over shared. Trying to prove he was OK when actually his body was screaming out it was being pushed to the limit.

His mother is in yet about lavish resort. Second holiday since his passing. Her friends with her all glammed up, going for expensive meals and drinks.... whose visiting his grave she said she hated being away from?all I see is someone cashing in on what shouldn't never be used to gain money, living the life in marrakesh and using personal and heartbreaking memories of his lifeless body to thousands of people to sell the brand.

I've never come across a thread so serious and sickening.

 

[itsjustcheese]

Thread number 9 : The nurse purse mum , on the sesh in Marrakesh

 

[comeonyouwelsh]

Hi fellow tnm tattlers....
I have been scared to comment on here, I followed her for a while, maybe mid her page, then when she she started the starving program, I just had to leave as I, like all of you could not deal with how much weight Jaxon was losing, there were all the other red flags of her making memories in places that only pleased her etc.
Then one day she popped up on my feed and Jaxon had passed away. I was really upset, as any mother of a child would be.
I came to tattle to find what had happened, the thread was just down by then.
I seen the gofund, and correct me if I am wrong but it was set at 10K, when I found it, it had supressed that, I messaged her with condolences, also asked her the reason why the GF was still open after it had surpassed the target, I asked her if she would be donating the rest to a charity etc.....
The amount of abuse I got off her and her mate was astonishing, they found me on twitter, and threatened to abuse my children, so much so I had to shut down my 20 yr twitter account.
She is vile, she didnt dox me on IG and I think that is because she knows it may have hit her back in the face, but I am ready to risk her doxing me again on ig, it wont happen as I think she has a lot of HONEST questiones asked but she cant answer.

 

[Hinchy’s Tamagotchi]

I do feel so sorry for her and the loss of her beautiful boy but a part of me feels like she is playing a game to gain financially from the awful awful situation

A part of me feels the same. She keeps talking about wanting to set up an online shop up to sell some kind of Jaxon themed products. She did say she’d donate ‘some’ of the proceeds to charity, but presumably she’s going to keep the rest. I just think it’s a bit off to be setting up a business off the back of your child’s tragic death. I don’t know if I’m being really harsh here, but the other day when she was saying setting the shop up was the only thing keeping her going, it came across as a bit guilt trippy ‘so you all better buy something’ ish to me.

 

[Sendparent]

What makes me mad is how she hasn't helped the SEN community at all, she has made people think they have learnt about our life and none of them realise they have just become more ableist. People watched J for 56 days on the feeding programme, they were congratulating her and praising her on how well he was doing.

Looking back at those 56 days and there is a dramatic decline in his visible health, he was skeletal, they didn't notice him, they were too busy praising Kathleen. Praising her for feeding him junk food despite knowing he had complex medical needs. Praising her for giving him frazzles that he never ate. His love of frazzles is fake, he did not love them, he didn't eat them and they were probably the only option he was being given each day alongside the brownies he never ate.

J has lost his life and it is still all about Kathleen, supporting her, praising her as the best mum in the world. If MrsHinch put her boy onto a diet for 56 days where he lost all his body weight dramatically as he was only licking frazzles and not eating them, would people be praising her? Because J was disabled people weren't even paying attention to him and his dramatic decline, if somebody did that to a neurotypical child there would have been uproar, people would have noticed the child and that the parent was neglecting them, but they didn't notice J, they just heaped praise onto her for it. None of them have become more aware of disabled people, just aware of parenting a disabled child but all that was a lie too and not the reality of parenting a disabled child because none of us are like her.

If a parent who had neglected their neurotypical child, made money off them but then later lost that child would people support that parent if they decided to sell shirts and stickers to make themselves more money? There would be disgust. But J was disabled so the focus is on poor Kathleen and not him. Nobody is supporting or spreading Js message around the world. What is there to support now he has passed away? They are supporting Kathleen to travel around the world whilst J is forgot once again.

In life he was with carers for 60 hours a week, school for 35, with transport for 5 and with his nan and dad at weekends, hospices when she wanted a holiday. In death her naive friend is sitting at his grave whilst she is prancing around Morocco because she couldnt bring herself back? She should want to be back here and sitting there herself.

She is 'managing the launch' and working remotely. This isn't working, theres nothing to do on the online store, Teemill takes orders, process them, supply, prints and dispatches the orders. All she has to do is spend the profits from each order. I bet she is planning a launch party for when she is back, invite all her insta chums hoping they will story it and tag her. She will spend a bomb on trying to do a gram worthy event that will still look tacky and cheap in the end. To launch what too? She is hardly fashion designer of the year with a new brand, it's not a new Prada collection being launched. Its stickers and a tote bags. She is acting like she has just launched the next brand on the scale of Armani.

 

[GobShyte64]

Sorry, a long one - didnt realise there was a thread for her.
I found it really uncomfortable when she tagged ash & saf in her stories the other day… like she desperately wants to be noticed by them. And then someone mentioned her in Safs live yesterday and Saf was like “yeah Iv heard of TNM, I was so sorry to hear about her boy” like damn… its like she wants more followers and is using them to get it.. Same when she used to tag hinch hoping that hinch would share her posts for the followers… it’s so beggy its unreal, especially so soon after J has passed...! I would slightly understand if she was dirt poor, selling her furniture to pay her rent - hoping followers would get her an income but she's literally had about 4 gofundme's now. She's got a 5k+ hot tub in her back garden - She's not hard done by.

I remember her saying she left her job because she got in trouble for talking about it on social media. She also said she was worried about being on a ward full of covid & then coming back to care for J who had a weak immune system. She used covid as an excuse and then a bit further down said it was because she spoke about it on social media. Honestly I just don’t think she wants to work and she never has done. Everything seems to be for likes. She went back to finish uni for the likes. Remember when she was gonna do a masters in health psychology? That never happened. But she took a pic for the gram like “woo look at me, going back to uni”…

J’s funeral… she wanted everyone to line the streets and wave J off. She had a few cars considering she had zero support (apparently) and they were Bentley’s. When my daughter died, I had the bog standard funeral car that you get free with package the government give you & it was 1 car because I’m an actual single parent with no partner, her dad genuinely wasn’t interested & zero support.

She wants to buy the house with zero income. Yes she’s a qualified nurse. But she’s an unemployed nurse & it’s gonna take her a while to get a steady income in from the little shop she’s setting up. Don’t all new businesses start in the red for the first year until they start making a profit? The swipe ups and affiliated links will be another source of income for her – not sure what she’ll promote now though. She’s gonna have to rebrand herself. Remember when she said she was bisexual? She could jump on the LGBTQ but never has. Honestly I think she just uses key words for likes and followers.

Also, absolutely hate it when people cry in the phone. Like "oh my god i'm so upset, where's my phone so i can record it and put it on insta"...

 

[Heretoread19]

It’s staged a chapel of rest is no place for bloody pictures I hope none of you ever have to but I have and let me tell you the last thing I wanted to do was pose for photos holding my dead baby why someone photographs I’m sorry I said it but she’s sick and using that photo to gain sympathy and people to buy her merch is worst . I think if many people reported her and the things we have in these threads they most definitely would look into it because it is child neglect and I have never come across thread as bad as this for obvious child neglect it’s so sad poor j

Ok, I might sound awful but i've been in that situation. Myself and my husband have photos holding our baby in the chapel of rest but in our defence they are for us and will NEVER be put online for everyone to see.
Our son died when he was 3 days old. I only held him twice when was alive (once when he was covered in wires to try and help him and once when he died) He was 2 days old the first time I held him.

I wish I had never had to see or feel my child like that.

But there is one thing taking photos and another plastering them online.

 

[Abettermumma]

You know what’s weird as fuck, selling t shirts with your dead child on.
I’d be mortified to be in Tesco and see someone wearing my kid.
weird

 

[Basicbasic]

That poor boy had no peace in life. Constantly paraded online for likes, comments, shares, adverts, sponsorship, freebies. His every vomit, tear, cry, admission shared online for exposure and a following. Now he's passed his mother Instagrams from the luxury pool of her luxury hotel in Morocco to emotionally blackmail us all into keeping j's memory alive by buying merch featuring him. And she can't get that shop open quick enough. Let him rest in peace. Stop monetizing him. Your followers have donated to 3 separate and high earning gofundme campaigns now. They've also sent you hundreds in costa and supermarket vouchers (That she begged for from his hospital bed). Where will it all end? If it was just her storying her grief I'd understand but every story is about monetizing his death.

Its coming across as very 'I'm missing the influencing gigs I got because i exploited my son'. Hence the new shop.

 

[Sendparent]

A J souvenir shop. Mortified the hell out of my skin. It's worse than I imagined, t shirts with his face on. Where the heck are her loved ones? Never would I allow a grieving relative to embarrass themselves like this publically. Aisha is on holiday and has encouraged her to do this? She has no real friends at all. This is just some weird exploitative souvenir shop. T shirts with his face and angel wings. I actually expected better than this, i did not think she would stoop this low or open up something so tacky. I choked when I saw theres even a sticker you can buy. What's next? Postcards, bottle openers and tea towels. Kathleen you forgot keyrings! He was not famous and even if he was, you wouldn't see other parents selling fashion with a photoshopped picture of their child on.

I dont understand why more people are not alarmed with what is happening before their eyes. Kathleen's threads on tattle have had hundreds of thousands of views, it's the elephant in the room that alot of people know about but dont talk about on insta. After everything that has been pointed out on here over the past few months, will people start seeing this for what it is? Alarm bells should be ringing. Finding a new income stream is always her goal. She even said before J became ill that she had been brainstorming thinking about multiple income streams. It's sad that her primary way of making money is J. Making people feel sorry for him, but even more sorry for her. I hope people wake up and smell the Valentinos, she lost J and her focus straight away was making money. This was the last chance for a GoFundMe, so that was launched. She looked for a mortgage then said she couldn't get one and did anyone have any ideas. For months people have said shes is building thenursemum as a brand, only taking the nursing job briefly so she could keep up the nurse image - well this is a brilliant way to show everyone we was all wrong - launching an official brand 12 weeks after J has passed. I was genuinely alarmed at what I saw on that website, I didn't realise it was going to be a souvenir shop, for someone with expensive taste she has cheapened her childs memory for a quick buck.

 

[NosyWelshCow]

I may be on my own here, but like the Ashley Cain thread is a number no title, I don’t think it’s appropriate here.

We can all agree she’s a vile woman, but she has just lost her child and a pithy thread title is exactly what gives Tattle a bad name.

 

[amylto]

His tube had been leaking for weeks. He was probably very dehydrated and his heart couldn’t take it. Was his tube leaking because her carers were being taken away.. who knows:
The words munchausen syndrome by proxy was thrown round ALOT on here. Maybe it got out of hand

I agree with this unfortunately, I have watched over the last few years and I truly believe that munchausen by proxy was what was happening, the whole cutting out/forgetting feeds or sleeping through feed alarms but swanning off to fancy hotels and always having time through the day to do a full face of make up and hair to spend her days talking on her insta stories while "struggling" and not having enough hours in the day was mainly for likes and attention. Jaxon at the time was an afterthought or prop to her. I think now he has gone she has realised, such a shame for him. No three year old should lose their life.

 

[rainbowpolka]

I was wondering when the thread would reopen for her, because recent events have left me really frustrated
1) the grave, and the events around his birthday. Can you imagine being another parent there to mourn and being confronted with fireworks and balloons and people having a party? Just doesn’t sit right with me

2) the shop - she spend most of J’s short life profiting off of his disability, which is ableist as hell, and now she’s wanting to do it even more after he’s died.

3) I can understand why she would find being back in a hospital setting traumatic, but surely there’s other ways she can put her training to good use?

 

[dailyfaillurker]

Can you imagine wearing one of those 398 t shirts and someone going ‘Hey, what’s your t shirt all about?’, and you saying ‘Oh it’s the exact age a boy I never met was when he died’.
They would look at you, rightly, like you were insane.

 

[Meeeeewho]

I really like tattle apart from when the forums go like this where everyone starts taking shots at each other. We’re all on here talking about someone we don’t even know discussing what we think is right/wrong when we prob could all use the time spent on this forum to do something more useful but yet here we are still noseying and discussing so don’t really think any of us are really in a position to be saying that someone needs to question their actions/reasons for following someone etc

 

[dailyfaillurker]

I lost my son back in December and whilst at home (obviously during lockdown too) I setup a business making bracelets. I donate a portion to charity (the hospice he was in) and make next to nothing after buying materials, postage etc.
It gave me something to do so I get it but there has been no mention of how much she will donate to charity and I can only imagine these items won't be cheap!

Also, doesn't want to go home but cried because her son was at the cemetery and she wasn't near it when she went to cornwall...

I’m so sorry for your loss. If you’re still making them I would love to buy one, and donate £10 to your charity of choice.

 

[Simbama12]

The graveside is tacky to me. And I say that from the perspective of someone going to that cemetery to visit a loved one. What on earth is all that fencing and post box and books… it’s bizarre to be honest. I’m all for individual grieving process but how is that allowed? It seems to be a show to ramp up sympathy I know how harsh that sounds but it’s her. the fireworks display wtf

 

[Hinchy’s Tamagotchi]

I can see why some people will find this thread & some of the comments in it in bad taste, it’s obviously a very sensitive subject. I can only speak for myself here, but I don’t feel like I know anywhere near enough about the situation to feel comfortable making any sort of comment on Jaxon’s care or his death, or what caused it.

The thing that doesn’t sit right with me is that she seems to be trying to monetise her grief process. Totally understand that she’ll need to find an alternative way of earning a living now, other than ‘InstaMum’. Do you really need to bring out ‘merch’ associated to the death of your child though? Or film graveside parties with fireworks for IGTV? Instagram really has hit a new low if graveside ‘content’ is now a thing. I find it bizarre, and a bit sick if I’m brutally honest. If she wants to set up a small business rather than going back into nursing fair enough, but why does it need to be Jaxon themed? The cynic in me suspects it’s because she know’s it will bring more money in, because people will buy stuff out of sympathy for her. She’s already laying it on really thick with her followers about the shop being all that’s keeping her going & how it’s all to keep his memory alive.

 

[Honeymonster90]

She’s money hungry what happened to all the money raised when she was begging for help when he was alive. why did she need more money after he passed children’s funerals are free and anything else she wanted she could of used the thousands raised a few years ago, that she’s claimed she hasn’t spent . The pissing off to Thorpe park a day after your child is out of hospital was beyond wrong she didn’t care then and she is riddled with guilt now . The sudden money for a mortgage on an adapted council house shows just how selfish she is and how much money she has made from he followers . She now away again claiming a freind paid for it all and that’s a lie she’s using the go fund me money to live a great life . She has so much support around her now . But none when he was alive apparently. Hmm . None of it sits well with me From the day she flung up that go fund me a day after he died and it was made so she could live her life without him . Like she hasn’t already got thousands