The Chateau Diaries #236 Tattlers have seen a crotch quiz and tulip-gate, but NO renovations or accounts!

[Maple fairy]

Ok guys here a little Friday funny courtesy of my social media!

 

[ComtesseRose]

Congratulations @Patriciarella and @MRShavershamsdress for the new thread title. Y'all make me queef in a good way.

Most Liked Posts from the previous thread



Dragomiroff
Active member
Monday at 10:13 AM

• #13

Last night, I said to @Jules100 that I was pulling back from CD and Tattle and would have to decline the invite to appear on the new podcast (I know you will all be terribly glum to not hear my RP accent - soz) but then the latest instalment hit my YouTube feed. I need to spew my bubbling bile. This devious wench! She really is a piece of work.
Most of you have already highlighted the lack of leadership with leaving EVERYTHING to the last minute. But in that recent instalment we truly got a glimpse into the gravity of destruction of that HMN. SJ claims weeds grew up in 2 days and yet she yanks out half a meter of the crawling variety from the courtyard… she highlights her dock invasion, which is most definitely months in the making considering the volume and height… we saw the state of the finish in the bnb rooms with window panes missing, bedroom furniture damaged, paint chipped, cheap drink making facilities, communal areas looking battered… What is this woman doing? What is Natalia’s role if she is the BnB manager? Does she just overlook these discrepancies or is SJ not willing to pay for them when they’re brought to her attention? I don’t understand how this can be allowed to happen with the amount of money coming in each month to comfortably remedy these issues? The astounding negligence - is it any wonder why Mmakhotso Moloi was neglected? The state of the stables is the true sentiment SJ feels for her own home - to allow rooms to fill up with debris like that attracting vermin, storing boilers which are loaded with chemicals is simply dangerous. It long stopped being funny this is just neglect - plain and simple. Where is the evidence that Stephanie Jarvis is improving this property? - all I’m seeing is more and more damage being caused.
And those kitchen cupboards are a lethal health risk. I was in NYC last weekend and was struck with food poisoning - I’m relatively resistant to under cooked food but it got me ferociously. The point is those doors harbour all manner of bacteria. SJ just doesn’t care about anything or one but herself. I’d be truly ashamed to welcome anyone into that building. Volunteers and staff are living there in that state - the hotel inspector needs calling in and condemning it. SJ has only just ordered colour coded chopping boards for meat, dairy, fish and vegetable prep - WTF?! How?
I have a litany of other points to make, but my cortisol levels are rising and so I’ll end it there. That episode compounds what we have been all saying for YEARS! It’s a dump top to bottom. I wonder if SJ decided to show this now, in the knowledge she can get away with anything and yet the money still comes in from the merry band of Patreons? It’s beyond me. She needs a therapist, project manager and a team of contractors.

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KyBourbon
VIP Member
Monday at 3:08 PM

• #62

Ok Tattle Ladies and Tattle Gentlemen! It’s time to play the new game “Guess the LaLande Crotch!” View the pictures below and try to determine whether the crotch belongs to Fanny or PhiPhi! Each picture is more challenging than the next…only true Tattlers, trolls, haters, and hags can score 100%! The answer key is below.


1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

Answer Key:

1. PhiPhi
2. Fanny
3. PhiPhi
4. Fanny
5. PhiPhi
6. Fanny
7. PhiPhi
8. Fanny
9. PhiPhi
10. Fanny
11. PhiPhi
12. PhiPhi
13. PhiPhi

If you guessed all of them correctly, congratulations! You’re a true Tattler!

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KyBourbon
VIP Member
Tuesday at 5:28 PM

• #345

Pippin speaks out said:
hmmmm. Not to be snotty, but I don't see the relevance of this comparison. I know lots of people who do not have university degrees but have made much of themselves, and are respected members of "society" (not meaning class distinction--just being members of civilized humanity). They have manners and common sense. They work hard and have strong morals. I have also seen a lot of hot-air egotists with elitist educations that are bums and criminals. Philip is not respected and clearly does not appear to be very intelligent--he sure can't read the room, but comparing him to her Oxford crowd isn't saying much. What have they done? Nick is doing ok, but how's it going for the rest of them? They're all a bunch of misfit toys, except not very likable.
View attachment 2126659

My maternal great grandmother was born in 1890 and passed away in 1982 when I was a child. Her husband, my great grandfather, passed away in the early 1950’s. She lived in a small house (a little cottage) with 2 bedrooms and one bath. It was really cute, immaculately clean, and tastefully furnished. She had a tiny kitchen but somehow managed to cook the most wonderful meals. She always dressed nicely in a dress every day. She was kind, never met a stranger, and even though she didn’t have much money, she would give her last dollar to someone in need. My mother said that during the Great Depression, homeless men who were traveling and looking for work would occasionally stop at her home, knock on the kitchen door, and ask for a meal. She always gave them something to eat (in exchange, they had to listen to her read bible passages ). Later, my family found her house had been marked with a symbol signifying to travelers that she was kind and shared food. In my opinion, she was a real lady and had more “class” in her little finger than any of these château characters….especially LaLande. I’m sure many of us on here have had the pleasure of knowing people like that. Money and education doesn’t buy class.

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CountessPompidoo
VIP Member
Tuesday at 10:47 PM

• #395

More Teabag interaction on 'BTCDs" vlog earlier

Pinned by Behind the Chateau Doors

Doing It Ourselves
10 hours ago
I pissed myself laughing at the end. You’re actually a good story teller

Behind the Chateau Doors
9 hours ago
Let’s make a baby, I mean a book together Michael

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ComtesseRose
VIP Member
Wednesday at 9:02 PM

• #664

lyna said:
One of them has her head up her ...
Can you guess which one?

Rosie Hugh is somebody I'd really love to betch-slap. A person completely devoid of empathy and an absolute selfish betch.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've been here since the single digits.
The Chateauverse Fatigue is real.
To think I ended up here because I was curious about Nic Larkin's face.
I stayed because I liked the people - still do... But commenting, archiving and making video edits that makes Stephanie's veins pop is an absolute joy.

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Remember to check the wiki for the newest Patreon video, or else Brenda Gibbons will appear on your TV and play American Patrol on her FUPA.
Happy Tattling.

 

[Fennelbug]

well it does seem odd doesn’t it that Neither Nic and family or Ollie have stayed away for some time now plus many other “friends “

It’s Snorts. He is excruciating.

 

[Pekey]

Ah, fixating on the frog call is her way of telling us that she has improved the environment.

Yep, and when she gets a pool it will turn green because it will not be treated properly and so it will be FULL of those musical FROGS !!!

 

[Abuela]

Let's discuss Dave the cleaner. Does he live nearby or fly in for key events? Where is he kept hidden in between appearances? Also since they had their leftover pizza picnic where deer had crossed, can we assume Philip will have deer ticks caught up in his mane? Surely he's highly allergic.

 

[Gertrude Maud]

And those curtains are already too close to the bath and she says she wants to hang them outside the architrave to make it brighter. She should have bought shower curtains . At least they would be waterproof.
That room makes me mad. She is papering over crack’s again. The whole room is a shambles.

Philip put three curtain hooks in the curtain he did not stay up all night.
And how was it possible to move so many things in her study with Amoury helping to move mirrors etc that she does not wake up? She is such a liar and terrible story teller.

I do think her flogging days are numbered.
You can tell she has no energy anymore. She is tired of pretending and wants to just be adored , admired and waited on. Trouble is she also wants patron money.Let’s face it when mummy dies she will have enough to live off without patron .
Does she have to invite patron this years since the association rules changed?

Fanny buys these expensive dresses and shoes , why? She doesn’t go out or to parties of worth. It’s a farce she really has a delusional mind.

If/ when Mummy returns to the dump she will be furious with so much in chaos. If Phi phi gets his way and they re do the missing windows every single room will be trashed.
This recent episode reminded me of the monkey story in SA. A bundle of lies .

Soon she will have a fit of the vapours and take to her room.

Exactly.
How did she not wake up while the things were being moved . . . because she was jolly well awake.
I can't see her not having a say as to where all the furniture would be positioned.

My eyes were continually drawn to the two cracks in the wall and the bulging wall coverings in the bedroom near the fireplace.

I don't know which I found more of a turn off today . . . Laura and her disgusting faecal deposits or Stephanie and Philip's sexy time amongst the bluebells.

 

[Lochness Monster]

Fanny and Pubes sitting at dinner with guests. Guests paying £50 for the pleasure of their company . Fanny goes free of course…. So the budget is not £50 as it’s feeding two additional mouths.
Pubes lays the table not so chic. It looks like a child is pretending to lay tables , oh wait he is a child pretending.
Maria cooks and waits. Who pours wine? . You also do not put wine in an admiral’s decanter.

 

[C'est moi]

SJ looks so completely out of place in the countryside. The lovely green and blue background of the bluebell woods is then hidden by a bright gaudy dress on an over made-up, bleached and gaudy blonde Barbie doll. Don't get me wrong, I love colour and I sometimes wear make-up but I would not dress like that to go for a walk in the woods and she certainly clashes with the natural surroundings. Everything about her is too loud: her voice; her shrieking laughter; her clothes, and her face. Her professed love of nature, animals, and the countryside is completely fake. They just provide a bit of content for the vlogs. Actually, it's not just those subjects, it's also art, books, and people, she doesn't really have any deep interest in, or love for anything at all, other than Stephanie Jarvis who is the real love of her life. The sad gift givers, who have nothing better to do with their time and money, just need to keep sending her dresses and large mirrors so she can waft around as if in a sanctuary, admiring and worshipping herself. If she ever gets the chapel done, she could re-dedicate it as a shrine for worshipping Saint Stephanie, such a great benefactor who helped so many at the start of their careers!

Maybe she wears bright colours in the hope she won't be shot

I have a bright yellow Puffer jacket that I wear outdoors religiously throughout the hunting season whether I'm on my own land or walking in the surrounding countryside. It's a tad mingy but the hunters are so gung-ho that I want to make sure I don't blend with the countryside. I'm also generally in whellies or appropriate boots and jeans. Not a fecking 1950's cocktail dress!

 

[Maple fairy]

There is a real shift in Amaury from when he arrived: sun kissed, blonde, enthusiastic care free. He now seems to be brooding with a festering anger and who can blame him. He maybe slow with his carpentry, but he is undeniably talented and knowledgeable and he went there to use his immense skill. He was duped and she has taken advantage of his better nature and he is the only one who really grafts other than maybe Pavlina. He has had to put up with pretending the Pube has any knowledge, he has waited tables, emptied the stables more than once done all manner of shitty jobs and she treats him like a skivvy. You could sense a real issue between them, there is no warmth or affection and he clearly doesn't want to be filmed. She is so stupid she could pay someone minimum wage to do all the crap stuff or get off her doughy derriere and do it herself. If she had given him budget and some help they would have made huge strides. Natti and Amaury will not be there in any capacity by Christmas because she has just been take, take, take and treated him absolutely abysmally and he looks tired, angry and a husk of the man that arrived. Poor little snack.

Oh I so agree with you. In the beginning he was so keen and happy to be there. He was so enthusiastic! I got the feeling from what he said that he truly idolized his older cousin. As a young boy she probably seemed glamorous to him. Unfortunately for him the reality of her true self has hit him greatly. It took awhile for it to sink in but I’m sure the presence of tit head made it difficult to ignore.

 

[graciemckitten]

Stephanie is so heavily botoxed, injected with fillers, and has been subject to so much skin resurfacing procedures, that her face looks like an animated wax figure when she speaks. This is especially evident in her beloved close up video segments. She looks creepy. She is also always altering the size of her eyes in photos and thumbnails and changing the color of her eyes to various shades of blue. She loves her lip fillers.

Does she have cheekbone implants of loads of filler in her cheeks to make her look like she has a round ball in each cheek?Has she had a brow lift or eye lift since starting her YouTube channels?


Phi Phi reads here. After all of the comments on his beanie, suddenly the beanie is gone for the latest guest dinner.

 

[Lady Lindy]

Because Philip doesn't like them and wants to change them with his tat. Stephanie quietly showing him who is the boss.
---
Philips meeting, I wonder what it was,

A kabob catch up
The Puy Vidal architects need clarification on his babble
French class
His agent regarding a lead role in Bird Cage

Maybe you more experienced Tatlers might ahve even better suggestions

OMG how many times did he say I have a meeting. Must be his first ever one. He must feel sooooo important now

 

[KiKiGee]

Fashion Show at the Chateau!

 

[stella65]

Remember several videos ago at the puffs and pugs party, Snorts claimed the only exercise he gets is from opening bottles of wine/champagne. He is pissed when he has to do manual labor. He only wants to shop, decorate, film, open gifts, read about china, design, and architecture, roam around the inside of the Dump, and chase hedgehogs.The only reason he hung wallpaper was he was doing the task with Fanny and it was being filmed.

Phi Phi declaring that he was never going to paint a ceiling again will make F4F force him to paint more ceilings. He thinks he is the equivalent to Baghead and 10% owner Potts ( who ran away when the ceiling collapsed to find expensive wine for him, Fanny, and Baghead to drink while the downstairs staff Amaury and Dan fixed the ceiling.) Entitled Phi phi thinks he co owns the Dump and is a co-Shittelaine of the Dump.He is now openly criticizing Isabelle’s older lighting, etc. while he picks up loads of junky lighting to install at the Dump. He gets mad when F4F does not accept his recommendations about the Dump. If Fanny make him do manual labor daily and help Amaury haul trash, clean up messes, and actually do work, clean out the chicken coops, he could get so pissed off, he may want to leave the Dump. She needs to leave him behind at the Dump and not take him on her next couple of vacations,

Think of how Amaury was disrespected when his pristine workshop was turned into yet another dirty junkyard for Dump trash, discarded equipment, and crap, Then, to add insult to injury, Amaury has to clean out all the crap himself, with no help, so he can clean and move his own equipment, all while being filmed to provide content for Cuz Fanny to make huge sums of money for herself. Fanny had no shame or embarrassment over the nasty room. She just doesn’t care. It is very telling that she is treating her beloved Cuz, her family, who has over worked himself for months to help his ungrateful, greedy Cuz Fanny and her 26 year old lazy concubine.

Have you notice Fanny has never shown where she stores the tons of crap she receives from rage Grift Grab Unwrapped channel? 95% of what she receives is never seen again. Is it all thrown away in a skip every few months? We know she uses crap from the grift grab to stock her for profit B and B suites. We have seen her greedily grab the chocolates, food, and alcohol items. I believe the majority of the handcrafted items are thrown away. What else do you from the grift grab do you think is usually binned by F4F?

I think Phiphi is desperately trying to style and position himself as a replacement Michael P. Not a chance buddy, Michael is naturally creative and artistic, articulate, charisma, great sense of humour, remarkable memory and has demonstrated many times he’s ok doing hard work. Give it up, it is never ever going to happen

 

[Just Grift Wood]

For accommodation in the middle of nowhere, expensive accommodation, breakfast is really poor. I have already commented on breakfast on this forum once and I was attacked in a "style" that what do I know.
I still think that the breakfast is shameful for the price of the accommodation. Some fried egg, pancakes, maybe some kind of meat more than ham for a sandwich, more kinds of cheese....
For the rest, if there is a surplus from breakfast, it can all be used in a dish, pizza, or pasta. There are a lot of hungry mouths in LL and there will be more this season.
Shame.

I think as it is France there should be an abundance of pastries, pain au raisin, pain au chocolate, croissant, bread lots of jams, yoghurt and fresh fruit and maybe a compote-very French what she offers is the absolute minimum and minimum effort

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Something doesn't sit right.

'Selmar' badmouths just about everyone at Le Lande on Tattle.
Then the ten Berghes who have just stayed at Le Lande invite Selmar to stop at their chateau.

 

[Fennelbug]

Notice the Prince of Porcelain eating his dinner out of a plastic container again!!!
I know he acts like a 3 year old, so do they not trust him to eat using the big-boy china?

Maria is sick of doing his special orders- she’s not a line cook

 

[graciemckitten]

Did she take him to the park for a play on the swings?

Maybe instead of a pool, Fanny can install a swing set and sandbox for Snorts.

 

[KyBourbon]

I think as it is France there should be an abundance of pastries, pain au raisin, pain au chocolate, croissant, bread lots of jams, yoghurt and fresh fruit and maybe a compote-very French what she offers is the absolute minimum and minimum effort

Well, acquiring all that wonderful food requires planning and preparation. And we know that’s in short supply at the farmhouse. How could Fanny and PhiPhi plan meals when they spend the last minute painting, wallpapering, and attempting to clean that dump? Those guests were lucky to get a piece of toast! Once again, not their priority. The priority is Dubai, London, shopping, etc. SJ…don’t insult our intelligence and tell us you didn’t have enough time to prepare for your paying guests!

 

[Kalessi]

What does SJ's channel stand for? *crickets*
It's not about renovations, it's not about gardens, it's not about sewing, it's not about event management.

It's SJ running arround, showing off other people's work. When there is a party, someone prepares food, Snorts table and SJ herself. There is nothing shown which would draw the viewers back in. There needs to be story line instead of dreamy "one days".

She mentioned surveys for grand salon were ordered a couple of months ago, but she never mentions it again.

Survey ordered -> received -> source contractors -> building work starts -> explain in each video a baby step -> work done - next.

SJ way:
Talk about a problem -> cry about it in front of a fire -> talk about it some more -> invite people for survey --> talk about the problem -> order a survey -> never mention it again.

She never gives me badass boss woman vibe.

She has narcissistic blindness to anything going on around her that doesn’t suit her. She has followers still who defend and pay her money every month to feed their romantic chateau dreams. Her flying monkeys are loyal so far. She can continue lying and they won’t change their minds. We have the same problem in the states with politics. No matter what some do or say their followers remain faithful to the point of violence. I’m not sure what drives people like that, but it seems nearly impossible to open their eyes to truth.

 

[SleepingBeauty123]

I just started watching the last video. I only watch it when it seems to get tons of comments here…she’s obviously made a good vlog if there are multiple posts about it here! I’m only a few minutes into it, and think maybe we need to start a GoFundMe to buy Amaury a new back when his goes completely out. Holy crap. No wonder even her fans are coming for her on this one. Also, I just got to the point where she is lounging in her weird food spore chaise in the kitchen, and was wondering if the mop could also wash her hair. She is so gross. I also realized I had a screenshot of Maria saying she would like to wash her hair if there was hot water that I’m attaching for your amusement. It’s from the frantic cleaning video. I have too many screenshots of this craziness on my phone and I need to just delete all of them. Why do I even care at this point? Stephanie is never going to wash her hair, let alone those floors, on a regular basis. I’m pretty sure the lack of hot water to take a shower was at the top of Amaury’s list for moving out. Can you imagine doing hot, sweaty manual labor all day and there is only one working shower that might have hot water? Ugh. Poor guy.

Thanks for the info on the croissants. We used to buy the croissants from Costco for years, and they were very good. I stopped buying them during lockdown because they were so greasy, and tasted terrible. I tried 3 more times thinking it was a fluke and maybe they had a new person in the bakery. Nope. They suck now. I bet they started using some kind of shortening instead of butter. That would totally explain the difference.