Mummy Dearest
Well-known member
In today’s episode of Sundays at the Shat-a-loo, Stephanie and the Gang take us to a cathedral. Strap on your seatbelts and grab your masks tattlers, we’re going to Bourges!
Before we start out on our journey, we are greeted by Stefanny, donned in a bold pink lipstick from The Bedroom Trim collection from Revlon. Today she will be playing the role of ‘pretentious tour guide’. We jaunt into the kitchen where meet up with Nutty and Philip dressed for their roles as ‘the ladies in waiting’. They compare their costume choices, black, white, and tartan. Can you believe that Nutty and Staphy never wear black?! Yeah, me either. Enough about the dress code, where’s Marie? Surely she’ll be joining along for the field trip. Off we go to gather Marie...
We find Marie at the entrance of the old floral studio. She obviously didn’t get the memo about the dress code. In an act of defiance, Marie has decided not venture off with the others and stays behind. Stuffy throws a casual insult Marie’s way, “Marie, you weasel!”. Marie, either blinded by the sunlight, or perhaps holding back tears after being insulted by the Lady of LaLande, confesses that she has too much work to do to go on frivolous outings. She invites us inside her ‘business’ where her flowers are laid out on the table. Marie explains that she was gifted 4 boxes of flowers from a mysterious stranger. How nice that they sent her toys to play with. Marie bids us farewell, but the look in her eyes says, “I hope you choke on a croissant.”
Off we go on a Sunday drive through quaint French villages as we are serenaded by copyright free piano music. We’ve made it to Bourges and stop to take in the scenery of landscaped trees and buildings while walking down to street, the cathedral in the distance. The suspense is building and we finally make it! Stiffany, entranced by the magnificent beast of a building, ponders life great mysteries, “how do they build such things?” Give her minute, she hasn’t grabbed the cathedral history pamphlet yet. As Stephaneee goes over her lines, we walk down the most quaint, idyllic little street, up to the back of the cathedral. It wouldn’t be a Steph tour guide video without getting lost on the way to the entrance. We ascend up a stone staircase, through a courtyard of pruned trees to the gothic cathedral.
The moment you’ve waited for has finally arrived. It’s time to begin the tour. Stephaknee, equipped with her Wikipedia print outs and cathedral history pamphlet begins. She has finally found the front of the building and begins describing the facade and the history. The camera pans up and down over the stone work. I’m desperately trying to be interested, but truth be told, I‘m bored to tears. Screw it, I’m skipping ahead to the interior and I’m taking you with me...
The tour commences inside with Stiffanee having a transcendent experience as she describes the interior. She continues spouting facts about the building of the cathedral. Insert b-roll footage of cathedral and angelic music. Cue Philip amazed by a chandelier and snorting over the size. We now find out the intent of trip, Stephanie is there for the windows. This video just became interesting! Is she going to smuggle stained glass out of the cathedral? Is Philip going to hide them under his hat? That must be where Nutty is hiding, she’s already removing them and stashing them in the car. My apologies to get you excited, we’re only here to gaze upon them as our tour guide reads whistfully from the pamphlet about their history. Insert more b-roll and angelic music.
Moving on to comparing this magnificent cathedral to Lalande‘s chapel, you had to know that was coming. We find ourselves admiring a clock that doesn’t work as our tour guide gives us another history lesson pulled from the pamphlet. I’m getting distracted by the fact that Nutty is still missing. Is she confessing her sins in the confessional? Is she hidden away feeding history facts to the pompous tour guide through a tiny bluetooth? Maybe she fell asleep somewhere after hearing Stephanie drone on and on, much like myself.
Cue Philip again, amazed by the organ, probably not the first organ he’s been amazed by. Philip takes is upon himself to take over the tour. Fascinated by wood, he begins talking about the ceiling.
Just when you thought this video couldn’t get more exciting, we go back outside and we’re going shopping! No, for real this time! We find Nutty, who must have gotten a jump start shopping at Zara, and meander through a little shopping district. We marvel at the mix of modern and historical buildings. Time to head into an emmaus and look around. Steph spots an old encyclopedia of decorative arts, gazes upon it while giving us yet another history lesson. Our favorite shopping addict, Philip encourages her to purchase it, as its only 25 euros. She declines over concern that she’ll never use it, and she only wants to focus on buying things they will use. The camera cuts to Steph holding an atrocious lamp for the attic bedroom, for this is a much better use of her money. Philip and Nutty try to hide their disdain for the lamp by deflecting onto the fact that it doesn’t come with an atrocious lampshade. She decides against purchasing as to not add additional clutter, I, for one, am shocked, as this has never stopped her before. We continue looking through more, um, what’s the word? Crap, we continue looking at crap.
Back into the car we go, off to another brocante, where, you guessed it, we look at more crap. We play ‘spot the clown’, ‘who’s the first to get vertigo in the book section?’, ‘find the ugliest lamp’, and ‘name that tune‘ as Philip plays Canon in D on a half working organ. Steph purchases a French cookbook, which made an appearance in the last vlog. She’s going to prove to one and all that she can, in fact, cook French cuisine. Moving on. The camera pans on to artwork, obligatory porcelain, Madame Lamballe in a picture frame along with a history lesson about her gruesome death, etc, etc.
Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “this has been such an exciting Sunday, but can we go home, please?”. Yes! We head back to Lalalande, and are informed that lockdown is over, but we have to be home before 6, which is curfew. Lockdown is over! Hurrah! Easter of Excess will commence!
This is where our journey ends. If you stayed awake for the entire history lesson, you get a round of applause! You did much better than myself. Now I must be off to make Piperade for the family, as we always celebrate Sundays at the Shat-a-loo with aperitifs and French cuisine on the terrace.
Before we start out on our journey, we are greeted by Stefanny, donned in a bold pink lipstick from The Bedroom Trim collection from Revlon. Today she will be playing the role of ‘pretentious tour guide’. We jaunt into the kitchen where meet up with Nutty and Philip dressed for their roles as ‘the ladies in waiting’. They compare their costume choices, black, white, and tartan. Can you believe that Nutty and Staphy never wear black?! Yeah, me either. Enough about the dress code, where’s Marie? Surely she’ll be joining along for the field trip. Off we go to gather Marie...
We find Marie at the entrance of the old floral studio. She obviously didn’t get the memo about the dress code. In an act of defiance, Marie has decided not venture off with the others and stays behind. Stuffy throws a casual insult Marie’s way, “Marie, you weasel!”. Marie, either blinded by the sunlight, or perhaps holding back tears after being insulted by the Lady of LaLande, confesses that she has too much work to do to go on frivolous outings. She invites us inside her ‘business’ where her flowers are laid out on the table. Marie explains that she was gifted 4 boxes of flowers from a mysterious stranger. How nice that they sent her toys to play with. Marie bids us farewell, but the look in her eyes says, “I hope you choke on a croissant.”
Off we go on a Sunday drive through quaint French villages as we are serenaded by copyright free piano music. We’ve made it to Bourges and stop to take in the scenery of landscaped trees and buildings while walking down to street, the cathedral in the distance. The suspense is building and we finally make it! Stiffany, entranced by the magnificent beast of a building, ponders life great mysteries, “how do they build such things?” Give her minute, she hasn’t grabbed the cathedral history pamphlet yet. As Stephaneee goes over her lines, we walk down the most quaint, idyllic little street, up to the back of the cathedral. It wouldn’t be a Steph tour guide video without getting lost on the way to the entrance. We ascend up a stone staircase, through a courtyard of pruned trees to the gothic cathedral.
The moment you’ve waited for has finally arrived. It’s time to begin the tour. Stephaknee, equipped with her Wikipedia print outs and cathedral history pamphlet begins. She has finally found the front of the building and begins describing the facade and the history. The camera pans up and down over the stone work. I’m desperately trying to be interested, but truth be told, I‘m bored to tears. Screw it, I’m skipping ahead to the interior and I’m taking you with me...
The tour commences inside with Stiffanee having a transcendent experience as she describes the interior. She continues spouting facts about the building of the cathedral. Insert b-roll footage of cathedral and angelic music. Cue Philip amazed by a chandelier and snorting over the size. We now find out the intent of trip, Stephanie is there for the windows. This video just became interesting! Is she going to smuggle stained glass out of the cathedral? Is Philip going to hide them under his hat? That must be where Nutty is hiding, she’s already removing them and stashing them in the car. My apologies to get you excited, we’re only here to gaze upon them as our tour guide reads whistfully from the pamphlet about their history. Insert more b-roll and angelic music.
Moving on to comparing this magnificent cathedral to Lalande‘s chapel, you had to know that was coming. We find ourselves admiring a clock that doesn’t work as our tour guide gives us another history lesson pulled from the pamphlet. I’m getting distracted by the fact that Nutty is still missing. Is she confessing her sins in the confessional? Is she hidden away feeding history facts to the pompous tour guide through a tiny bluetooth? Maybe she fell asleep somewhere after hearing Stephanie drone on and on, much like myself.
Cue Philip again, amazed by the organ, probably not the first organ he’s been amazed by. Philip takes is upon himself to take over the tour. Fascinated by wood, he begins talking about the ceiling.
Just when you thought this video couldn’t get more exciting, we go back outside and we’re going shopping! No, for real this time! We find Nutty, who must have gotten a jump start shopping at Zara, and meander through a little shopping district. We marvel at the mix of modern and historical buildings. Time to head into an emmaus and look around. Steph spots an old encyclopedia of decorative arts, gazes upon it while giving us yet another history lesson. Our favorite shopping addict, Philip encourages her to purchase it, as its only 25 euros. She declines over concern that she’ll never use it, and she only wants to focus on buying things they will use. The camera cuts to Steph holding an atrocious lamp for the attic bedroom, for this is a much better use of her money. Philip and Nutty try to hide their disdain for the lamp by deflecting onto the fact that it doesn’t come with an atrocious lampshade. She decides against purchasing as to not add additional clutter, I, for one, am shocked, as this has never stopped her before. We continue looking through more, um, what’s the word? Crap, we continue looking at crap.
Back into the car we go, off to another brocante, where, you guessed it, we look at more crap. We play ‘spot the clown’, ‘who’s the first to get vertigo in the book section?’, ‘find the ugliest lamp’, and ‘name that tune‘ as Philip plays Canon in D on a half working organ. Steph purchases a French cookbook, which made an appearance in the last vlog. She’s going to prove to one and all that she can, in fact, cook French cuisine. Moving on. The camera pans on to artwork, obligatory porcelain, Madame Lamballe in a picture frame along with a history lesson about her gruesome death, etc, etc.
Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “this has been such an exciting Sunday, but can we go home, please?”. Yes! We head back to Lalalande, and are informed that lockdown is over, but we have to be home before 6, which is curfew. Lockdown is over! Hurrah! Easter of Excess will commence!
This is where our journey ends. If you stayed awake for the entire history lesson, you get a round of applause! You did much better than myself. Now I must be off to make Piperade for the family, as we always celebrate Sundays at the Shat-a-loo with aperitifs and French cuisine on the terrace.
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Sorry you don't win a dingbat. 
"The Church of Stephinology" 
"The absolute clusterfuck of chateau folk" 
"Lalande's animal farm produces weasels and cows!" 
ooo is really pis*ing me off.