The Chateau Diaries #154 Everything they do is waste - everything worthy is wasted on them

[KiKiGee]

Thank you @missartemis for taking the time to write a review on Trip Advisor.

CHATEAU DE LA LANDE - Castle Reviews (Crozon-sur-Vauvre, France)

Chateau de la Lande, Crozon-sur-Vauvre: See 18 traveler reviews, 43 candid photos, and great deals for Chateau de la Lande, ranked #2 of 4 specialty lodging in Crozon-sur-Vauvre and rated 4.5 of 5 at Tripadvisor.

www.tripadvisor.com

Enthusiastic traveler
wrote a review May 2022
You take your changes by staying here if you're a fan of the YouTube or DIY content.
Review of Chateau de la Lande
Reviewed 3 weeks ago
I was both a YouTube follower and patron of the Chateau before traveling to France to stay there. I'm not anymore. I was treated like an inconvenience and an interloper. All I can say is DON'T GO. The volunteers were not paid to run the place so they had no reason to be accommodating and in some cases, they were outright rude. There was no heat in October and I was freezing - there is not a hot water bottle in existence that can keep you warm enough. They did not answer their landline and did not respond to WhatsApp when I needed important information. There was a skeleton staff of 2 people for the first 3 days of my visit so I was essentially alone in the gigantic edifice. It was eerily quiet and desolate. I was not greeted warmly but rather was grilled about my Pass Sanitaire - which I luckily secured before leaving the US. If I hadn't gotten one I would not have been able to stay there and they didn't even tell me I needed one. I was never thanked or acknowledged for my patronage and I was there for 8 days! The owner did not even take the time to talk to me for more than a few minutes much less make me feel welcome. And it needs to be said that the building is in dire need of basic repairs - It is much more "grubby" and run down then I was lead to believe and there is no safety compliance. The money being donated through Patreon is not being used to renovate but rather to decorate. There were no shutters on the windows of my apartment, no locks on the apartment door, and the cement spiral stairs had no railing. No one offered to help me get my luggage up the stairs and I am elderly and arthritic. I was basically ignored. The whole experience was a bitter disappointment. I know there are many others who have had the same experience and have not posted here but I wish they would. If you want to have an experience like the guests you see on YouTube you will be taking your chances - Don't say you weren't warned.
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Date of stay: October 2021
Room tip: Don't rent the self-catering apartments...you'll be ignored and treated like an inconvenience.

 

[Jules100]

Stephanie Jarvis has unwittingly brought us together from around the world. This hate site is the best thing to come out of The Chateau Diaries. Thanks Steph!

-Also, the chateau is filthy and gross and idiots live there.

Cheers!

 

[Clara Burnett]

Oh, come on Dana, I know Vivienne can be a bit much but that's no reason to start name calling...is it?

 

[T Rex]

Anyone else catch this update from Marie? Now she wants to be a yacht chef? I think she’d crumble working for a captain. You don’t get to say no or argue with a captain and you have to get along with your coworkers.

Oh for f***'s sake, Marie... To be a chef on a yacht first requires experience- which her roadside flower offerings and chicken in brown sauce do not make her qualified for. The chef is responsible for meal planning (for the crew and guests), provisioning food and beverages in every port, actually cooks the meals (which are different for the crew and less glamorous), the serving and washing up (if it a smaller ship), mechanical knowledge of the ship (yes, every deckhand has to understand basic skills), understanding maritime laws (which differ in different countries), be fully competent in safety and first aid, and assist the other crew members with cleaning/maintenance tasks. The chef is the first one up in the morning (and arises before the sun), and the last the bed. It's a completely different life than what is seen on TV- those days in port? The rest of the crew may get some respite, but the chef has to re-provision food and beverages for the guests (which requires shopping, transporting a large quantity of stuff back to the ship- taxis and then a dinghy ride or 2 or 3 back and forth to the ship if it anchored out), putting everything away, and making meals for the crew and guests. The cooking alone is beyond her capability- the chef prepares the menu the OWNER sets, and there will always be those guests with special needs or requests. SMH. Marie would not last one day without a meltdown.

 

[ComtesseRose]

@JanePlain here...

 

[Clara Burnett]

OK the thing is..a lot of Tattlers suspect that the Fanny & Phi Phi relationship is not for real. That everyone in her cult is in on the big old smoke & mirrors cover story. There is little sign of any romance - faux affection, a kiss on the forehead is the most we've ever seen. Like a mother/son relationship.
Their references to each other's preferences reminds me of the film Green Card where Andie MacDowell & Gérard Depardieu had to pretend to be a couple. In preparation for interview with Immigration officers they learnt about each other's past, their quirks & habits.

So is this relationship a type of marriage of convenience - he gets a roof over his head & she has her No 1 Stan on hand all the day long?
Or?
Is there a real Fanny & mystery man which is being hidden?

As naturally suspicious as I am of all the narratives Stephanie Jarvis is pushing about her private life, I can honestly say that I believe there is some sort of relationship between the two. It's not exclusive, that I believe too as I know of at least three occasions where she shared more than a bed with different guys while she was supposed to be Snorty's girlfriend. Whether he knows about it too and chooses to be unconcerned nevertheless, I don't know. It's not something they talk about at the dinner table. As her escapades are quite reckless though, to put it mildly, there must be some kind of understanding there. If not, he's even more infantile than all of us deemed him to be.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

What the fuck Marie! Pick a different direction to pursue - preferably one that does not see you ending up a corpse floating to the bottom of the ocean. This is such a bad idea! You left Norway to go volunteer at lie Lande. You left lie Lande specifically because you were sick to death of cooking. You said it yourself! You left to go play with flowers in England which you left to go play at wandering lost lonely and suicidal in the French countryside, which you left for lie Lande, which you left for Norway. Oh hell Marie, maybe being a chef on a yacht is the best move for your future... because you can just pick up and leave at any port, to move on to the next place that doesn't suit you, doesn't help your mental stability and will leave you searching for the next job for you to freaking leave!

That girl is a case study on how social media can ruin a persons life.

 

[Jules100]

Who wants some delicious homemade banana ice cream? We made it fresh today from our very own recently rediscovered rodent & bug pooped up ice cream maker. Don’t worry, I wiped it off with one of Philip’s old toe socks. Most of the black stuff came off, Philip scraped the rest off with his finder nails. It’s just as clean on the inside of the machine, I promise.

Am I the only one that thought that machine was gross?
🪳

 

[Stroppy]

I wonder if the mouldy shop room is the kiss of death for Fanny's lovers:
Was
Tomaz's - spa room...
Maries - flower room...
Now
Snorty's - junk shop
There may be light at the end of the tunnel

 

[Le Baiseur]

More fun with MS Paint.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Do we know if this stuff was ‘ gifted’ or was it another lie?
If he wants to deliver more why would he need to post on the chat. Surely greedymeme would be jumping up and down to get more free expensive stuff and would be done by email. I reckon it’s deeper than just the freebies

Having seen a photo of the cheque she used to pay him, I do know. She lies without even realizing it because she believes in her own fairytales. She wants Anders' stuff, but she does not want him to come over again to deliver it.

 

[Clara Burnett]

From what I've heard, Dana's obnoxious behavior alienated almost all of Tess Hoffmans' Venetian birthday guests. Tess surprised them subsequently with her announcement of saying yes to the proposal of Giles Hurbain, son of Richard Hurbain, owner of chateau de Sarzay, her latest fling and the one she dumped the Floridian boyfriend for, who was the one she cheated Adam Guettel with. Apparently the marriage announcement was another reason why Stephanie Jarvis could not use her pink camera, as the poor soul did not yet tell his parents. Meanwhile, the Floridian boyfriend (I believe @KiKiGee has announced his existence before) is not happy obviously. He was flown in to spend a month in France and join in the Venetian celebrations, only to be send back home after a few days with the message of Tess 'not really being in love'. The youngster thought he hit the lottery, only to find out he's been robbed. I hope Snorty has been paying attention, because I'm thinking it won't be much different when it's his turn....

Sometimes I naturally doubt you Clara because it pays to be sceptical, but your advice to avoid Dana like she is Medusa has the genuine ring of truth to it

Anyway I'm mostly posting to say I can't stand Phillip and at the same time I'm worried for what kind of impact this diversion to lady in waiting has on his life trajectory. Unless there's some fabulous defacto laws in France and he's more cut throat than I can ever imagine, the longer this goes on, the worse it will be.

In chateauverse, doubt has saved my ass more than once so I know where you're coming from. I'm just the hatch in a random stream of information, serving whoever wants to be served

 

[OneMoonbeam]

I hope Fanny chokes on her tea knowing that every single person who uses this jumped up outhouse sees was we see.

 

[Hemerocallis]

Thank you @missartemis for taking the time to write a review on Trip Advisor.
Room tip: Don't rent the self-catering apartments...you'll be ignored and treated like an inconvenience.

Room tip: Don't rent a B&B room either, you would have to eat arse bread and breakfast that has been prepared in a filthy kitchen. Health hazard !!!

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Anyone else catch this update from Marie? Now she wants to be a yacht chef? I think she’d crumble working for a captain. You don’t get to say no or argue with a captain and you have to get along with your coworkers.

 

[Jules100]

Who was filming when Fanny, Dana and Squirrel were in the shot? He/she was very quiet

It was Tess’s haunted baby doll. It’s always very quiet.

 

[Clara Burnett]

Any news @Clara on the suggestion that gifts from the GAG are being sold in Tina's shop? Tina would surely suspect where these items originated and I would be surprised if she was complicit in this.

The only second hand stuff Tina is selling are clothing items. The other articles on offering are either artworks from local artists, fresh products from local artisan producers (like honey) and chalk paint. They also run a small English tea room. Stephanie Jarvis might have tried to sell some of her old clothing items through the shop (although I very much doubt that because she usually only part with her crap after years and years), but that would have surely been stopped by now. So no, they are not selling for the charlataine and apart from her husband still having contracts to finish (or Stephanie Jarvis to pay him anyway for it, which we all know she would never do) there are no ties between Tina and the lying youtuber.

Dana's cookbook tonight, looks like it's featuring Dumb and Dumber.

I can only imagine how Tess Hoffman's mother is feeling, having paid heavily for that Venetian palazzo for her birthday and those scammers her daughter is hanging out with are just shamelessly using it it as a fancy location for their flog-shit-shows. I guess money only gets one so far and does not buy respect...

The pantry was kept well hidden from us. Just afew items shown. I bet it is a filthy mess again. I wonder what they are doing with all the preserves. What a waste not using them on time. Typical waste mentality there.

I was there last month and walked into the pantry. I saw moldy food leftovers in- and outside the fridges (two out of the three fridges were not even turned on) and yes, there was mouse dung too. Also, they did not provide covering for the window and even though there was no heatwave at the time, it was already warmed up considerably from the sun coming in. To be honest, it looked a little better than before, but with the same mentality in place of only picking up what one comes to get without ever cleaning anything, you can imagine the state of thing by now.

Isabelle Jarvis
8 hours ago
That s why I bought those torches ….

Of course Isabelle Jarvis is once again trying to take credit for someone else's bright ideas. Those torches were bought by Kim Raad and divided over the guest rooms years ago, when not every room had its own working toilet and people had to wander through the dark hallways at night. Isabelle Jarvis buying something useful with her own money...yeah, right....

Bwahahaha! Isabelle has barely said a peep in the last several vlogs, but has suddenly found her voice as Stephanie throws out two useless wind-up torches. Important to let us know that SHE bought them!

Even more important: she DIDN'T

Surprised Dana didn't opt for Pasta alla Puttanesca - or would that be too... on the nose.

Her boobs don't seem to think so....

 

[Pyke]

Just think how young Snorts was when that Chutney was made, a schoolboy about the same age as Antoine is.

 

[Imperious Me]

On the Chateau FB photos from Venice. Tessa sans lunette de soleil either breaking wind or attempting a smile, Fanny and phiphi loved up and Dana. Some crazy person has said they're women with class!

Kissing her forehead again... like I do with the dog..

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

I have no problem with the shop selling some of the gifts - many of the letters say (words to the effect) “I hope this may be of use,” “pass it on to others”,etc. There are only so many aprons, tea towels, costume jewellery one needs.
I think they could make an online shop work with LaLa merchandise. The Andi pictures and Christmas paper (digital) seemed to have sold well. If people are silly enough to send silly gifts by post for 100s of dollars then she can do what she wants with them. It is the charity donation deception which annoys me. Given one super fan was desperate to “buy books from La La” then it could move a lot of weighty crap out of La La (and possibly allow the earth’s gravity to reset).

no doubt a lott of her following would buy her crap...but who is packing it all, sending it off to the postoffice?? all the work that is involved with invoids, orders etc...Nutty?? She cant even replie to her emails ...The rest sleeps in untill the afternoon..Its like with most addicts...making a lott of plans..and noting comes of it..just pushing out another vlog, because there is nothing else to show...Fanny clearly doesnt want to renovate...keeping the money in the bank, or spending it big time on travels and more crap to fill her dirty heap..

Btw when you have to water a garden..there is no way you can keep up with weeding..it needs full time attention...the gardeners clearly arent there..and what is Dan doing all day?? The uselessness of them all also infects also the workers...and another thing..who is cleaning the rooms?? Pavlina and Marie?? who also have to do the cooking?? and the shopping?? i would like to take a look under the beds...or in the bathrooms....A place like that needs a lott of workers..with that rediculous garden..and they want to start a shop...whats next a tearoom??