The Chateau Diaries #147 Fanny knows, with sadness, the only cock she will see every morning is Spud

[Clara Burnett]

Sad waste of life.

You must be psychic. This is exactly what Percy calls Tess Hoffman: a sad waste of life. Which is a bit harsh, coming from that racist a-hole (excusez mes mots).

I’ll just never get it? It’s lost on me. There has got to be a private joke / hidden message as to why she took clothes off a plastic baby rendering it naked, moved its legs akimbo then got someone to take a photo so she could upload it to the socials. It all feels dark and wrong to me.

If that feels dark and wrong, picture this: sitting at a public dinner table where the male guests of Tess Hoffman are allowed to "use" her doll in all ways too inappropriate to repeat. Or Adam Guettel fingering the doll, as he was the baby-daddy so that would be normal. right? The stories I heard are staggeringly filthy. That doll brings out the worse in people, mostly men.

 

[KiKiGee]

Funny, the latest gift giver, Anders Bundgaard, is not listed as a patron??? I do wonder who he really is???

andy scot
5 hours ago
its sad tragic and pathetic sorry its about dominance off one person to get the adoration they want through bling crap

REPLY

Anders Bundgaard
58 minutes ago (edited)
I see what you mean, but it’s not the story here. Take care and live in peace. /A

REPLY

andy scot
8 minutes ago
@Anders Bundgaard it is the story because its so obvious that's what it is joy= gifts full stop = unwrapping gifts to promote the idea that her joy = more gifts makes her happy . its strange we doubt the poor for wanting enough to eat but not the rich for wanting to party in Venice and get everything all off the time free or just being alive grateful and seeming so nice . wish my mother had a 14th century castle and twenty men fighting to nail her canopy above her bed also willing to film her promoting herself as a charity case who needs stuff .



andy scot
5 hours ago
its sad to see people donating to the charity off a woman that has so much joy for butter dishes and chandelier's it puts me off people who think that its love and joy = stuff

 

[M&MsMom]

Yep. A failed boy band member/ actor just shows up at a chateau in the middle of nowhere and just happens to have a deep love for toile bedding and spode china and flea market shopping. Sure.This 25 year old man child just happens to have an arsenal of skills that reads like a combo of Martha Stewart and Colonial Williamsburg actor. Please. He studied her and showed up on a mission.

I hope she's protecting herself. Lots of "oops" pregnancies happen in the late 40s.

I don't disagree that Phillip is a manipulator and that his arrival is sketch. However, I wouldn't exactly portray Stephanie as some helpless sort of person here. Whether he studied up on her or not, she is an adult (as is he) and she knew the pitfalls of dating someone who is young enough to be her son.......I'm pretty sure she looked at that and yet, still, decided to jump in, eyes wide open. I see her acting on whatever "feeling" she had for him just as badly as him checking her out before he arrived. But she did act on those feelings because it served her - whether something serves her or not is the compass she uses for her decisions.

Despite my disgust with Phillip, in my view, neither one of them is the villain to the other here, neither one of them is better or worse than the other.......frankly, they deserve each other.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I thought Hanni was Persona Non Grata. Now she’s back? What changed. I personally like it when Hanni is there but her nervousness does grate a bit.

Everybody in Stephanie Jarvis' world is Persona Non Grata as soon as they leave the room, as she loves the gossip too much not to badmouth her beloved favorites, only to change tune again when they come back in.

 

[john eccles]

Like many of Fannys fcuked up efforts to deceive all in sundry, this time she really has shit in the nest. If she has issued a check for 23,000 euro she has left a paper trail, firstly it is recorded in her bank filings which in turn are used for her accounts and then her taxes. Banks themselves must report "unusual" deposits/payments that exceed 10,000 euro because of money laundering, people trafficking laws. Well done Fanny you have just made the authorities job significantly easier.

 

[Sparrowsfart]

Too much. FRK, Hanni, Tree Nik, Larkin family bags, Maria, a trapped bird, chandeliers and Snorts off to his last play and then a vote on goats, asparagus and tiaras.


Just in case anyone has missed this from UK TV a classic scene

The auto captions come up with some gems!

 

[Sparrowsfart]

She’s autistic ! Back the fuck off !

Well since you ask so politely...

NB: Did a course recently (I work at a school with lots of children with special needs) and you don't call people autistic anymore. You say the person has autism.

 

[graciemckitten]

I think we got that from Clara. Also, if you look at some of the gifts, they are just too specific or too expensive. Taschen books, Fortnam and Mason hampers, Yves St Laurent scarf, all specifically shit she would want. They buy on eBay all the time too, so she could buy something, leave it in the box and pretend it’s from a Kentucky. Oh, no note, oh well.

And also clothing that ”just happens” to fit “paaaaarfectly.” Fanny knows exactly what she is doing.

Was everyone else in on the lie too? Chandelier guy had to be. Probably Phyllis too?

I think they all knew about the vast majority of her lies. One of the main reasons ole Fanny has been grifting for decades is because she makes sure the majority of people in her orbit are enablers of her selfishness, self aggrandizement, and pure greed. If anyone really kicked up a fuss. I think Fanny would have one of her minions send them on their way from the Shittoo.

Tiara, 2 Chandeliers, 2 sets of hurricane candleholders, 20 Danish Christmasy collector plates (that snorts had to say his family has silverware & drinkware from same), glassware that matched her port glasses - how did you know it was my favorite shape ??!!! , tea set with some special spoon, lampshades ready to go to add fabric of choice, and can't think of anything else...oh yeah and pencil sharpener type of thing for using to shave candlesticks to place in the hurricane shade candle holders.

Fanny purchased enough to make it worth his time to being everything to the Shittoo, be filmed for content, agree to be part of her deception, and stay for 2 days to install the chandeliers. Did he ever reveal if he had an antique business or placed items on websites for sale?

Isn’t Fanny the luckiest little orphan princess in the world to have a man with all sorts of specific items she desires, that fits perfectly into her Shittoo vision, and just wants to give them away because he cannot find anyone willing to pay for them, and is so desperate to free up room at his residence/business that he would take several days away from working, travel hundreds of miles to the Shittoo, and gift it all to Fanny.


It almost seems too good to be true! But you know, she does get all those free upgrades….. I guess some people are just born lucky. ……..ÑOT! I see you Fanny and your deceitful lying ways, recklessly spending donated and grifted monies to benefit your one true love, yourself.

 

[Summerbaby]

SJ defo purchased those chandeliers - no doubt about it.
Anders is an out and out mainstream Ebay business man and as such, would never give anything valuable away for nix - end of story!
Isn't ebay SJ and PJ's hobby?
When he said, "there are some things that just don't sell" (or something like that), I was expecting car boot junk - imo all of those items would have sold easily on ebay - which they obviously did!
When SJ was pretending she didn't know what she would find when initially opening up the tiara box, PJ actually said, "oh, that's why you put your hair up then" - in readiness - which SJ didn't deny! SJ knew 100%.
Who gives away Royal Copenhagen china too?
SJ only bought those hideous plates because they reminded her so much of her father's artwork. She prob got a great deal on those as they were duplicates of Anders' personal complete set of 12.
Everything was a purchase - perhaps the entire haul cost E23,000 and not just the chandeliers alone. Anders probably got a 2 night overnight stay at the HMN thrown in for free, plus of course, a birthday cake!
And, she paid Anders for his fuel because obviously shipping was far too risky via Fedex etc as could have lead to many breakages.
He must have thought that all his Christmases had come at once and for the love of God, doesn't the HMN have enough china/glassware already?

 

[KyBourbon]

May 24…Happy International Tiara Day!

International Tiara Day Home

 

[Iolair]

Dan has become defensive. He took St. Kathy of Lidl head on! (From her Rant about Teeth vlog)
View attachment 1289481

I think what's happened here is that Dan has changed his YouTube name to hide his identity in order to comment on Kathy's 'teef' flog, not realising that when you change your name it also changes on everything else you've ever commented on, on YouTube. Then after making his ridiculous 3rd person comment on Kathy's Flog, he's changed his name back to Escape to Rural France, not realising the mistake he's made.

Stupidity personified. But then we always knew Dan wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Pretty lame pretending to be someone else and saying he thinks Dan's hot.

 

[Le Baiseur]

Oh Gawd! Is anyone following Jason's FB posts?


Jason Aaron Dubey
spdtf yf8ta2iM f1P 1Mi3:0 1f2a071 ·

On the way to St. Paul de Vence to buy art today I popped into Cannes for lunch at the 75th Annual Cannes Film Festival, drove the Beamer through security, got rock star parking and up front red carpet bistro seating! Police were everywhere and you can see the people and paparazzi lining up to see the STARS coming out of the grand beach front hotel (behind Jason Bateman sitting near me in the bistro with blue hair..)

Jason Aaron Dubey
Jeanne Wilcox awe, Thanks Jeanne! The stars are out!..lol In Marseilles someone else asked if I was an actor..!

Jason Aaron Dubey
Charlotte Lugo Dubey Thanks! The life of an art dealer!

Patricia Collins
Was it hard to get a table?

• 
  Jason Aaron Dubey
  Patricia Collins Not at all! Probably because I was wearing the new Yogji Yammamoto Japanese long linen piece!!
  
  

 

[Trengilly]

Stephanie giving Anders, and his odd infatuation with her, airtime is only serving to rile up other diehard fans to replicate similar acts of generosity. I found GAG truly uncomfortable viewing, she once again takes advantage of people. Does anyone recall that moment a few months back when a Patron wanted to club together with others to buy a silver service for the HMN, and after much criticism here, SJ said it was too much to ask for and not to buy it. That's thousands of euros worth of gifts, whilst inflation across the western economies is soaring to unprecedented levels now pricing a lot of families out of buying their own food and necessities and turning to food banks..... Tone death as usual. It's beyond tacky to be opening all these gifts weekly on camera just to indulge your own personal sycophancy. A nice hand written note of thanks would be sufficient and a weekly video focusing on specific charities would be much better placed, but that clearly involves far more work for our "charitably motivated" SJ - a truly devious character.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

I don't see the point supporting them financially either. Pay for the extra content and stay in the lowest 5/10$ tiers if you must give to feel involved.
Let's look at the Fleuries and their figures: They get approx. 1,6 million views/month and the add revenue is 6$/1000 views. That's 9600$. When you have a sponsor the revenue is triple on top of the normal Google add revenue. The Fleuries have a sponsor in almost every episode, 3x9600$=28800$. Roughly The Fleuries rake in 38 400 US$ monthly before taxes. The Patreon account is just a cherry on top.

never enough my dear...never enough...when the greed starts in...and no i am not jaleaous...i wouldnt dream to put my private life on YT..not in a million years...all those grifters are nothing more like hookers with clothes on...no selfrespect al all...

 

[kaleidosc0pe]

Ew, Crazy Hanni is back.

 

[The Simple Life]

For some time now I have been thinking at Squirrelboy as an Italian cicisbeo. A cicisbeo was usually a young man, better if gay but not necessarily so, who, in XVIII cent. Italy, would be very intimate with an aristocratic married woman. He would accompany her to public events. advise her about clothing, fashion, good taste, engage in conversation in fashionable salons, act as a very close friend and chaperon. His was in fact a social role, and socially quite well accepted. In fact, if a noble lady didn't have her own cicisbeo, she was noone! Sexual engagements were usually excluded. They were quite vain, prissy, dressed with exaggerated elegance, and this soon became a phenomenon that was ridiculed all over Europe.
BUT there is something even more saucy. A Joseph Jérôme Lefrançois de Lalande, who was a famous XVIII cent. French astronomer, in his memoirs of his Italian tour, has very harsh words for such an institution. Little he knew that only 3 centuries later the same thing would happen in one of his family's properties!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicisbeo

Steph, you should read this!!

Voyage en Italie by Joseph Jérôme Le Français de Lalande | Open Library

Voyage d'un François en Italie, fait dans les années 1765 &1766 by Joseph Jérôme Le Français de Lalande, unknown edition,

openlibrary.org

P.S. The chandeliergate was absolutely hilarious. Who in his own right mind could think that someone would travel all that distance at his own expenses just to present HRH with thousands ££ worth of antiques for free, "because they didn't sell" and even made the lampshades and all the restauration needed??? If that were the case, his family should take instant action and had him decleared unfit to plead.
Well, in a way it was true when he said "they didn't sell", because he had offered all that bulk to other chateau owners - as we saw from the deleted comment - but none fell into the trap. Only SJ did, convinced as she is that she lives in Versailles.

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Exactly. And when Tattlers speak La Lande jumps. Maybe we could just make it easy for them - at the end of each thread we put a list of what we want them to do because they must spend an awfully long time trawling through every post to see what we're saying.

We say the trees being cut down are wasteful - so she gets a chipper to turn the trees into mulch.
We say oh why hasn't Hani returned - Hani returns.
We laugh at Fanny filling in the gaps in expensive wallpaper with colouring pencils - oh so drole to leave colouring pencils in the downstairs loo so people can fill in gaps if they spot them.
We laugh at the use of the word 'brooming' - so Phi Phi says he's brooming when he gets rid of the bird.
We say how lazy she is & she's making a point of showing she's up out of bed in the morning (big deal).
We say she never does any work in the hovel & she makes a point of saying she's spent all day chandelier cleaning (yeah right)

Other things of note :
Pavlina - pretending to read a script as if she's being held hostage. I am being treated very well. So funny (not). I'm just starving in this house.
For someone who is supposed to be a refugee this is offensive to me. Glad she seems to be able to forget what is going on her home country where people are suffering.

So I saw a lot of booze in this episode. Give Anders a drinkie when he arrives, oh I'll have one too. Nic with a drinkie before going out for dinner.
Table laying - Fanny drinkie in hand. Wine with dinner. Champers for birthday celebration.

Hani beyond strange - clearly off her tits with excitement that she's been allowed out.

Fanny's dress for dinner totally OTT. Her day dresses, pulled back hair, dangly earrings & pearls - just so frumpy & middle aged. Needs some suncream on to prevent any more sun damage.

Oh & Fanny - can you stop the stupid French pronounciation of 'Marie'..just say it in English - because (newsflash) Marie isn't French - maybe you could say it in a Norwegian accent instead

Another thing. Nic pointing out that he left some trees still standing as there was a birds nest in them. There was a lot of outrage last week because of all the trees being uprooted when it is nesting season. Justifyably as there sure would have been lots of nests in those trees already chopped down.

 

[ComtesseRose]

Congratulations @T Rex for naming the thread - I took some artistic liberties to make it fit.

Most Liked posts from the last thread:




Tea with lemon
Active member
Thursday at 2:13 PM

• #18

Dear people,
since the new year I have, for the last 5 months, been unemployed. (Now you might think I’m going to beg).
For that reason I have time, I’m resting and as far as I could tell, I’m poisoning myself and my mental health with the LL team.
But on June 1, I'm starting a new job. I will have to work hard and learn in addition and I will not have time for all these sick phenomena in the world of YouTube beggars.
I want to say that I am overjoyed to be able to work, to have the will and knowledge and to go through life on my own merits.
After five months of studying these people, my only comment is: I have no words to describe what I think about them.
Maybe I’ll write a book: E-begging because I’m very literate, literary talented, and eloquent.
And yes, I’m going to the mountains in two weeks, a hiking trip and I’m going to pay with my own savings.
Cheers!

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Jules100
Chatty Member
Thursday at 6:49 PM

• #75

I found a similar chart, but a bit more specific to HMN residents.

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Reactions:You, agualilas@, Petit Sange and 57 others



Clara Burnett
VIP Member
Friday at 9:55 PM

• #429

Maybe Not said:
@Clara Burnett
Hey Clara, I've a couple of off-topic questions that you may be able to answer:

1.How did Cat come to the chateau? Was she friends with Dana and Contessa before meeting SJ? Do you know?

Lots of these people that have been to LaLaLande parties and other parties, seem to be friends, exes, or something amongst themselves. And many appear to have dated the same guy/girl in the same group, (Mason, Countess, MPotty, Dana, SJ of course, etc.) so it's confusing.

Also

2.You mention much or your info comes from your friends who were at the chateau at one time, but I think I've read, that you still go to La Lande. How can SJ & troupe, not know who you are if they're reading here as many believe they do?

I can't see how your identity can remain secret to them...too many clues...
Click to expand...

Cat came through workaway or another volunteer organization, at least that's what I understood. She was not friends with Dana or Tess Hoffman before she started "working" at the shittoo.
As for my identity: I know Stephanie Jarvis (and some of her closest allies ) are positively convinced they know who I am and why I'm doing this, but have no clue how to prove it. I find it extremely funny they are wrong. Just thinking how mortified she would be, makes it all worth while. I can only hope they leave the person they suspect alone, as I don't want to cause trouble for anyone but the charlataine.

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Jules100
Chatty Member
Friday at 8:06 PM

• #389

I’ve got Covid. So far a bad headache, cough & fever, but it seems doable.

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Reactions:You, Petit Sange, shaken&stirred and 43 others




Jules100
Chatty Member
Friday at 3:20 AM

• #212

A few takeaways from today’s CD:
-Sexualizing your cousin is disgusting & creepy.
-Sexualizing Dan is disgusting & creepy.
-Looks like Natti has been reading here and took 8 minutes to get ready today instead of her normal 4.
-Dan’s chest tattoo reads, “I’m a douche” written out in English, French, Turkish & Pig Latin.
-Stephanie, leave Nick the tree surgeon alone, he’s the hardest working man at the Chateau de Lalande ever.

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Welcome newbies, oldies and flying monkeys - always check out the Wiki - before asking questions in case it has been answered. Also, because a lot of lovely people have contributed over the years.
Almost at thread number 150 time flies when watching your favourite château -show. Happy Tattling.

 

[T Rex]

Absolutely! One of the things that bothers me (amongst many) is when I hear these people say they need money to “save” their chateaus…but then go out and purchase expensive clothes, eat in high end restaurants, and take expensive trips. If I was asking (begging) for donations, I would go to great lengths to show that my number one goal is to put all the effort, energy, time, and money I have into the renovations. As a finance person, to me it’s like an entrepreneur that pitches an idea to a venture capitalist. One of the first questions the VC asks is “How much money have YOU invested in your idea?” If the entrepreneur doesn’t have anything invested in their own idea, why would a VC invest anything? The entrepreneur would have no “skin in the game” (so to speak). It still boggles my mind that so many people don’t see through the scam.

I can't fault the Fleuries- they work TIRELESSLY, do quality work, and produce excellent content. I suspect every single cent that they've earned from Patron, YT and their sponsors go back into an account specifically for the Chateau (they have quite a list of projects that still yet need to be accomplished, and even they know this can't last forever.) I suspect they live off the proceeds from the B&B, and they are quite frugal as they do whatever work they can themselves (the right way- they caulked everything in that kitchen, primed all surfaces and then applied multiple coats of paint VERY carefully.) They wear older clothing, don't go on extravagant holidays, try to repurpose things, hire local craftsmen and tradespersons (whom they have no issues retaining) and every single high-ticket item they purchase for their Chateau is carefully planned. They do all of this while parenting 2 small children and a puppy, and running a successful B&B. (And I highly doubt B&B guests are being fed a brekkie/lunch of soft boiled eggs and asparagus that were boiled in the same pot (which was absolutely disgusting, Fanny! Even Amaury refused to eat that asparagus- did those eggs even get washed?) If YT and Patron cease to exist tomorrow, Anna and Philipp will be fine, unlike Fanny...

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Whats happened to that furniture she bought in London? I have not spotted it in the old Chateau !

I asked the same question on the last thread!
How much energy does Fanny expend trying to devise ways to camouflage her excessive spending. How can the grannies continue to be so blind?
Fanny is redecorating the entire shiteau with items which can be removed and sent off to Venice, before she spends money on any building upgrades.