The Chateau Diaries #147 Fanny knows, with sadness, the only cock she will see every morning is Spud

[KiKiGee]

They caught a glimpse of Stephanie Jarvis and Company at the Chelsea Flower Show.

Grayson Perry and Philippa Perry during the RHS Chelsea Flower Show

 

[Tea with lemon]

From live chat:
(Video was on "pause")

 

[Clara Burnett]

If Steph gave Anders a cheque for the chandeliers that is an instant paper trail created. A cheque is DNA it is no good without being banked so the tax man will commeth.

Not just the tax man and not just a paper trail, but a digital one too: I saw this cheque with my own eyes on a picture on a phone. It wil be safely kept there for the right moment, I'm sure.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

SJ defo purchased those chandeliers - no doubt about it.
Anders is an out and out mainstream Ebay business man and as such, would never give anything valuable away for nix - end of story!
Isn't ebay SJ and PJ's hobby?
When he said, "there are some things that just don't sell" (or something like that), I was expecting car boot junk - imo all of those items would have sold easily on ebay - which they obviously did!
When SJ was pretending she didn't know what she would find when initially opening up the tiara box, PJ actually said, "oh, that's why you put your hair up then" - in readiness - which SJ didn't deny! SJ knew 100%.
Who gives away Royal Copenhagen china too?
SJ only bought those hideous plates because they reminded her so much of her father's artwork. She prob got a great deal on those as they were duplicates of Anders' personal complete set of 12.
Everything was a purchase - perhaps the entire haul cost E23,000 and not just the chandeliers alone. Anders probably got a 2 night overnight stay at the HMN thrown in for free, plus of course, a birthday cake!
And, she paid Anders for his fuel because obviously shipping was far too risky via Fedex etc as could have lead to many breakages.
He must have thought that all his Christmases had come at once and for the love of God, doesn't the HMN have enough china/glassware already?

I can totally see everything he brought adding up to $23000. I’m in that business and a longtime collector. She’s feeling herself spending like that. She might even have been able to source all of it for half that if she was any good as a picker. I think she likes the verve of buying from a dealer. It’s part of her being her special self. I have far more respect for the people who find these things on the cheap and fix them themselves like Billy Petherick. He’s found chandeliers for a couple hundred and fixed them himself that would rival what she bought. I also don’t understand why she’s going to shops when she could go to auctions or estate sales, but that would take work. People who have money don’t spend Willy Nilly like this. That’s why they have money. She might have had some little pittance allowance or something before, but now that she’s got her hands on hundreds of thousands she’s lost her damn mind.

 

[OhIDontKnow...]

Do I like much to rain on Stephanie Jarvis' parade? You bet I do, especially when she keeps hiding the truth in smoke and mirrors. In her narrative it might seem completely normal that some random stranger drives up to her shittoo to offer her two huge chandeliers he has painstakingly renovated himself, for free, just because he loves her so much. In the real world, where fairy tales like that don't just happen, the accountant will want a receipt for the amount of patron money spend on those luxurious (but in her HMN still misplaced and damn right ugly) excesses. Good luck with that, miss Jarvis. I urge you to remember that if I have personally seen the cheque you wrote for Anders (for over 23000 euros, that's right, in France people still use cheques) a lot more people have seen it too and believe it or not there are people around who are even more chatty than decent little me. Also, remember to make a note of the cash you gave Anders on top of it, as gas prizes are high and the poor guy had to come from so far. I don't blame you for cutting that footage out of your flog, but would hate to see it disappear from the books too, as you just made such a brilliant start with the new accounting software.

Oh my God. What a whopper of a lie to tell. Not just to the people watching the video, but to the people participating in the whole scene. Clear example folks of something being to good to be true, and it’s not. She didn’t want to get reamed by the Patreons for spending so much on something so unnecessary. What a fucking idiot. Oh I’m watching the grabbeaux tomorrow to see the rest of what she bought. She’s psychotic with all this lying. Oh I hope Patreon Posse gets pissed. Both of them.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

I love it when someone mentions the “hate site” in the comments…just sends more people this way! Thank you, Michael Petherick, for sending me here!

Exactly. And when Tattlers speak La Lande jumps. Maybe we could just make it easy for them - at the end of each thread we put a list of what we want them to do because they must spend an awfully long time trawling through every post to see what we're saying.

We say the trees being cut down are wasteful - so she gets a chipper to turn the trees into mulch.
We say oh why hasn't Hani returned - Hani returns.
We laugh at Fanny filling in the gaps in expensive wallpaper with colouring pencils - oh so drole to leave colouring pencils in the downstairs loo so people can fill in gaps if they spot them.
We laugh at the use of the word 'brooming' - so Phi Phi says he's brooming when he gets rid of the bird.
We say how lazy she is & she's making a point of showing she's up out of bed in the morning (big deal).
We say she never does any work in the hovel & she makes a point of saying she's spent all day chandelier cleaning (yeah right)

Other things of note :
Pavlina - pretending to read a script as if she's being held hostage. I am being treated very well. So funny (not). I'm just starving in this house.
For someone who is supposed to be a refugee this is offensive to me. Glad she seems to be able to forget what is going on her home country where people are suffering.

So I saw a lot of booze in this episode. Give Anders a drinkie when he arrives, oh I'll have one too. Nic with a drinkie before going out for dinner.
Table laying - Fanny drinkie in hand. Wine with dinner. Champers for birthday celebration.

Hani beyond strange - clearly off her tits with excitement that she's been allowed out.

Fanny's dress for dinner totally OTT. Her day dresses, pulled back hair, dangly earrings & pearls - just so frumpy & middle aged. Needs some suncream on to prevent any more sun damage.

Oh & Fanny - can you stop the stupid French pronounciation of 'Marie'..just say it in English - because (newsflash) Marie isn't French - maybe you could say it in a Norwegian accent instead

 

[SleepingBeauty123]

It’s amazing but almost everything is worth money and sometimes stupid money. Crazy money. It’s just whether or not you have the time and means to sell it all. I’m glad you converted so much for good money. Less stuff makes life easier!


I’d say Poshmark or a really good consignment store if you don’t to spend as much time.

I think getting my closets and home cleaned out will definitely provide a more relaxed feeling to me emotionally. I’m struggling with anxiety and I think whatever that saying is about a clutter free environment leads to a clutter free mind is a great place for me to start. (I don’t know the exact saying). I’ve been watching some of the cleaning YouTube videos lately and they are getting me motivated!

Actually, being on the tattle has been a nice break for my anxiety too. I don’t consider it a hate site. Maybe some of the other topics are? I haven’t looked at them. But I have found great comfort on here in hearing stories from different parts of the world, different professions, hobbies, interests, and especially the HUMOR! The one thing that is our common interest and goal is that we are appalled at Stephanie’s actions and the con she is running. I think for so many people to be outraged about it shows that we aren’t hateful…we are exactly the opposite. We are concerned for the people who are giving her money, concerned that they are lonely and elevating Stephanie to a cult like leader, and she seems to bring all of the people down who come within her orbit. Yeah, we make snarky comments, but for the most part they are in good humor. Any hatred (such a harsh word)…maybe contempt or outrage is a better word… comes from us wanting to open her sycophant’s eyes. Hopefully we can get more people reading here. It seems like there are at least a couple of new people each thread that chime in an tell their story of how they found their way here.
So, welcome all newbies, like @DEEPblue82 ! Your comment about “the ridiculous boy with the ridiculous hair” cracked me up!

 

[chillijam]

I enjoy seeing Hanni, she's certainly very bouncy and if she wants to launch herself through a window she will! Why not! She marches to her own drum. I like that she doesn't just trot in Fanny's shadow like the rest. Sure she's a bit of a fan but she does it her way. I also like that she shows the others up physically, Phyllis included. I'd love to see any of them try to fly through that window like she did!

for over 23000 euros

Are you joking??? That is insane, and she tries to pass them off as surprise gifts - because of course she deserves it??? I am gob smacked. That is stupid stupid money, and what a liar.

 

[Clara Burnett]

That's a juicy one! Do they both have sidepieces or just one of them? I can't imagine anyone in the village pining after PJ. He must be getting action while he's up north doing his play. If PJ does have a sidepiece, any word on the gender?

Like I said, I don't have enough evidence to say stuff like that out loud and name the names I hear floating around. I can tell you this (because I heard it straight from the horse's mouth and I mean Snorty himself, not FRK): he likes fooling around with both men and women because more is more.

@Clara Burnett saw the check herself.

Well no, not the cheque but a picture of it in someone's phone. If we are forced to show receipts on a gossip side, I better be well prepared to be cross-examined...

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

Can you all see how sweaty Amaury‘s t-shirt is? It sticks to his muscular body.
That dirty pig…I need to check his shower, with him.

 

[KyBourbon]

Puppy has something to say about Dan's latest. Puppy doesn't understand the motivation of the "hate site." We're not haters, we just want to see projects completed, promises fulfilled, and folks held accountable.

(emojis removed)
smolpuppyo'love
36 minutes ago
Excellent. That is yet another thing to cut down the egos on the hate site!
Using Chateau wood
Needed to be rested for a year...
( These huge projects take time!)
Filming Assistant Amaury
Carpentry Apprentice Dan
Cheesy grin

I love it when someone mentions the “hate site” in the comments…just sends more people this way! Thank you, Michael Petherick, for sending me here!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

What a frantic, mish-mash of clips were filmed over various days and cobbled together.

• Fanny, you are showing your age. Those are liver spots not freckles on your face.
• If Fanny's does get approval to reinstate the lake, the cost and the time to remove the trees & significant undergrowth that has grown up over the last dozen or so years will be enormous. Be careful diving in or you'll hit you head on a fully-grown tree.
• Please get the goat so it can eat all the gardens!!!
• Who is peeing in the courtyard fountain?
• Chandelier-gate
  • Fanny & Snorty have been busy online shopping again - those chandelier's were not donated (smoke & mirrors)
  • I recall how expensive the chandeliers cost when Billy & Edd were shopping at some outdoor Antique Fairs - Can early range from 5K-50K
  • Both chandeliers were pre-sourced & purchased by Fanny to go in specific spots and Fanny selected the Osborne & Little fabric from her own swatch book for the lampshades
  • who the hell wants a chandelier overtop of a billiard table?
  • that's the first and last time Fanny (or anyone else at the shiteau) are going to clean those chandeliers
• Dan is in Turkey, Snorty is in Amsterdam, Where is Cyril?
• Snorty is away, but fear not, because Fanny has Nic, Marie & Hanni all there affectionately fawning over her & waiting court
• Another Emuas bargin? WTF was Fanny wearing to a local, summer dinner in the country?
• Chicken poop in the kitchen and bird poop in the bedroom - it's so LaLande
• Hanni is the model for the new monkey gargoyles Fanny is installing on the facade of the shiteau
• How the hell did they have a birthday dinner party without Snorty there to set the table?
• Always time for a drink:
  • Anders arrives
  • Anders cleans the chandelier
  • Anders has a birthday

 

[Trengilly]

£50 for a bloody Christmas card.... She's twisting my tits and I've had it with her!!!

 

[Pyke]

Wouldn't be for the lack of trying... "Ooh Nick, show us your tatts"

I guarantee that Snorts would find at least one tattoo on Nick that matched one his grandfather had or his grandmother had the exact same pattern on her family bedspread and curtains, he would tell us all direct to camera as he has done with so many things.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

HANNI'S RULES WHEN VISITING LALANDE IN 2022:
1) Hold your breath and pinch your nose before going to the loo...Gerry might have had baked beans for breaky!
2) Make sure you wear two wristwatches because, just like every other person at Lalande, one of them might be lying, you never know.

 

[Freesia54]

For "Only fools and horses".

Did that bloke just rock up unexpectedly with 2 chandaliers? I thought it was Uncle Fester at first glance.. I was just waiting for it to crash onto the table, slightly disappointed it didn't. Glad to hear Amoury enquiring why Phi Phi & Dan were never around when work had to be done. I can't bear the thought of goats being brought in to be vlogged for their cuteness and then neglected along with the sheep. Hanni still as hyper as usual, climbing through windows, wtf just use the doors, she gives me anxiety. Everyone seemed manic tonight.

 

[billybudd]

Tess Hoffman and Michael Potts are both in Spain. Where is Ruth???

michaelpottsf1
Lewis arriving for practice for the Spanish F1 Grand Prix
2d


View attachment 1286209
22 hours ago
@countessawess
Come on Maxie! #formula1 #redbullracing #barcelona #spain #unleashthelion #curcuitdecatalunya #sohot #megasunshine #maxverstappen
CIRCUIT DE BARCELONA-CATALUNYA

A crop top polo shirt. Tess looks ready to drive.

Anders brought two , i have to say amazing chandeliers..i love them...without those ugly lampshades..that is..how are they gonna keep them clean?? you have to clean them at least two times a year...and its a huge task...i guess nobody will ever do that..Btw he says that he couldnt sell those chandeliers....yeah right...i bet Fanny bought them..and all the rest of the stuff he had with him...she for sure didnt show.. I do find it odd..when people put on a chandelier...and the wires are not hidden in the ceiling...a bit sloppy...so Lalande..

I know Anders lovingly made all the lampshades (and refurbed the chandeliers) himself. But I thought they were tacky, especially the black bordered ones for the second chandelier. It's what I call the tragedy of DIY -- people kill themselves to restore and renovate houses and other things, and when it comes to decorating -- pure Vegas whorehouse. The Fleuries are one of only two major restorers (the other is Daniel Kanter) who have taste levels equal to their woodworm demo stamina.
I'll never understand.

 

[Princess and the Pea]

I am personally not against Patreon.. everyone here knows I'm patron of Annalise and Fleuries...
Annalise because I just want to support her and the little ones, and Fleuries because they provide interesting chateau renovation content for patrons and also, I want to support them.

Patreon imo becomes full on grifting, when the creator:
1. doesn't provide any content to patrons (MPK),
AND/OR
2. lies to their patrons and gaslights them into believing thing are happening, when NOTHINg is.

But oh well, I am also a proven optimist...

I'd rather give my money to people I actually know in real life, or to charities. If Annalise can't manage then she needs to get some cash from the father of her kids who was off buying RayBans in London, getting his teeth done (on a deal, yeah right Dan) in Turkey & who flew home to see his friends & family. Fleuries have enough earning power themselves from their previous jobs & their assets. Both make ££ from Youtube revenue. But each to their own I guess.

 

[Patriciarella]

Drives me nuts.. If it's not what he likes, or where a Grabeau Grab should go, it's what his grandma has... Insufferable Pranny.

SJ got a tiara made from champagne twists. My tiara is made from applesauce lids and a pineapple juice label. It matches my family’s silver and reminds me of my grandfather’s favorite fork. That was a great fork!

 

[Clara Burnett]

Not very important in the grand scheme of Lalande grifting and lying BUT when Hanni was jumping in through the window Fanny said it was her room. Are there bedrooms on the ground floor ? Or was it just a way in for Hanni to get to her room ?

She's staying in the Marquis apartment (the window she's climbing into is in its bedroom. In the salon next to it, Armoir just finished the paneling and Stephanie and her brother from another mother f*cked up the overly expensive wallpaper, remember?