I donāt want to play armchair psychologist at all, but I thought Iād throw in my perspective of Sarahās sudden wedding urgency:
Unfortunately, Sezzy and I share A LOT of personality traits. The mania, egotism, body dysphoria, etc. I am diagnosed bipolar, ADHD, and highly anxious. Got some childhood trauma that makes me a messy af romantic partner outside of the mental illness, too. Really great, all of it
![Face with tears of joy :joy: š](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f602.png)
BUT, I am medicated, see a counselor, do my own workbooks/homework outside of appointments, and have a husband who sees a counselor about how to be with a partner with mental illnesses that can have abusive tendencies.
Anyways, context out of the way. After my now husband proposed, it felt like being on a high. Lots of attention and well wishes. It also gave me something to focus on that didnāt give me extreme anxiety like work or my body. However, after a bit, people donāt care (rightly), so I started obsessing over the planning. It gave me more to talk about. It gave me a reason to post about it on social media or to ask friends/family/etc. It also felt like something I could control when everything else felt so chaotic.
Then, COVID hit and I snapped out of it. I went from the mania of planning a massive and expensive (for us) wedding to like āwtf am I doing?! I donāt want this at all!ā We ended up eloping during a ālullā in COVID cases in our state. Didnāt even wear a wedding dress (got a sassy dress from a sale rack the day before
![Grinning face with sweat :sweat_smile: š](https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/gh/joypixels/emoji-assets@5.0/png/64/1f605.png)
). Did my own make up. Ordered food from our favorite local place. Did our vows with a pay-per-hour officiant at a little park. It was absolutely amazing. Everyone keeps asking if Iām sad that we had to trash our original plan but Iām secretly so glad. It was a really necessary wake up call for me. I had to focus on if we were getting married for the right reasons instead of letting all the planning be a buffer.
Even if Sarah has no diagnosable mental illness, it just seems like sheās going through something similar. Itās easier to be swept away in the excitement than to slow down and think about why youāre doing it. I think itās why her mood has improved so much. Canāt think about your relationship troubles or self-loathing when youāre elbow deep in an aesthetic Pinterest board.
I truly hope something happens that gives her or Kurt a reason to reflect. I donāt want to say they donāt love each other. As toxic as Sarah can be, I donāt think itās fair to assume Kurt is only in it for the money. Whatever baggage theyāre carrying now wonāt disappear at the ceremony, though. And love is certainly not enough to overcome some of the issues public observers have seen in their relationship. Thatās why I really hope they both pause to understand that this will be for the long haul.