I feel like I haven’t properly seen the video as there’s no recap
I'd intended to do one when she uploaded, but this honestly might be the worst, most profoundly boring video that Ruby has ever made, and any recap feels entirely redundant.
But if it keeps one person from watching her videos, I suppose it's worth it. (For real, though, if you've ever seen a Ruby routine video, you should skip this - it's all the same old bullshit.)
There's no intro for this video. We open on dead silent footage of a grim and dreary Exeter street, text slowly fading in on-screen.
This is no time for fanfare or even a modicum of effort. This a solemn day of mourning. Ruby's academic life is crumbling before her eyes and adulthood is upon her, so she just tossed together some bullshit to hit her arbitrary quota for YouTube content then went back to crying to her mummy on the phone about how unfair it is that she has to grow up.
Ruby claims that she has only two weeks left at uni, which sounds completely wrong since she should have another couple of months left in her academic year, but who knows what nonsensical concept of timekeeping and what version of reality she's working with - it certainly isn't the same one every other human being uses.
She also claims that this will be her last ever university morning routine! Which is 100% lies.
In the comments for this video, she claims yet again she's planning on doing a Master's. So more university routines are definitely on her agenda if she gets in, since that's the only kind of video she makes.
But regardless, more glaring is the thinly-veiled threat contained within her announcement: "This is actually my last ever university
morning routine!" She makes no mention of this being her last ever university routine
in general, so she's absolutely going to churn out 'final university daily routine (cramming 128 hours into 1 day syooparr productive edition!)' and 'last ever university night routine (reading 4,596 books in one evening)' videos before the month is done.
It's a horrifying prospect, since this video is indescribably dull. It's basically a
greatest laziest hits compilation of her other routine videos, and if you told me she'd just pieced it together from clips of her old ones, I'd totally believe you.
There's staged footage of Ruby "waking up" at 6:45, even though there's no way she's up before 8am regularly.
She goes to chug a glass of dusty, dusty water that's been sat out overnight.
The footage is blurry as fuck, because after like 7 years of this shit, Ruby still has the filmmaking skills of a wild monkey: It might be able to hold a camera and put it down places and mimic human behaviour, but mostly it'll spend its time breaking things, pottering around in filth and flinging shit at things to see where it'll stick.
But that's probably not a fair comparison; monkeys display intelligence and can be trained to complete complex tasks.
Anyway, even through the hazy blur of the footage, we can clearly see that Ruby is pretending to drink from an empty glass.
And then she films herself chugging more water from a flask, because she's gotta pad this shit somehow and her appetite won't suppress itself.
"I lyove making myself smile forrr THARTY seconds to a minute because it DOES release endorphins apparentleee and I always DYOO JANuinely feel happier," she says. Ruby might want to tell her face that, because the miserable mood that's on display in every waking moment of her life is only sporadically interrupted by grimacing, forced smiles.
And it's just more of the same rehashed lies and bullshit from there.
- She pretends to "make her bed" - translation: adjusts the duvet slightly, changes no sheets or bedding ever.
- She does awkward, bodychecking yoga.
The forced smiling clearly worked wonders on her mood - she looks absolutely fucking miserable, and unfurls her yoga mat so violently and carelessly that her shitty dark macademia wall "murial" almost tears itself off the wall in the resulting gust of air.
She shows off her grimy sink and pretends to read while brushing her teeth. It's completely disgusting, and it's no less stupid or more believable the 764th time around. 30 seconds of a 5 minute videos is her brushing her teeth.
She goes on an unhinged ramble about how dressing up makes you feel the day is important.
Ruby in this video: "I think if you waahr something noice, it's like subconsciously telling yourself thaaat the dayyy issss importanttt."
Ruby in her godawful 'Outfit Essentials' bodychecking montage video: "When you waahr something noice, youu areee EFFACTIVELY telling yourself thaaat the dayyy is WARTH something."
She repeats her words from older videos practically verbatim, with the same dragging-out-her words 'drunk on ethanol' cadence. It not only adds to the lazy, recycled feel of this video, but it's as though she read this somewhere once, memorised it and now spouts it as gospel. It's nonsense.
If dressing up nice make you feel happier and more confident, that's awesome. But if you're a nurse, or a surgeon, or an electrical engineer, or a sewer worker, or a waste collector, or a tradesperson or any number of skilled professionals or essential workers, you might not dress head to toe in fashionable clothing and you might often spend your day literally soaked in blood, sweat and tears, and yet your job is still vital and your day infinitely worthwhile. And if you simply dress down for your own comfort, that has value, too.
Ruby putting so much emphasis on her Victorian schoolgirl cosplay outfits making her day meaningful is just her superficial approach to life talking. It's also yet more of her trying to distract from her days being utterly meaningless and full of pointless busywork.
She continues the deja-vu routine rehash by showing she's having yet another prison food breakfast of "pour-idge". She claims Blakeney made it, but there's no sign of Blakeney in this video.
Ruby makes deep-in-denial excuses why Blakeney no longer spends time with her.
"We used to have breakfast together all the time but we don't do that very often anymore. It's just because we've
both had things on!" Ruby says once again.
Meanwhile, Blakeney goes and works at her job and does her own uni work while Ruby fucks around playing with tea, candles and Dickensian chambermaid dress-up all morning. But they're equally busy. Sure, Jan.
She does her weird skincare routine of showing off gifted products and using her jade roller thing, which is about as effective as rubbing any random object on your face. TV remotes. Pebbles from the yard. A glass of orange juice. The gear-shift knob from a car. A golf ball. Literally any household object with a smooth or round surface will have the exact same effect if you rub it against your face as this thing.
Ruby in her 'Daily Tasks' video: "I digitally declutter my desktop AVVERY DAY!"
And yet:
Ruby says she's started putting a fullscreen image of a "really noice painting" on her laptop. Apparently it's a way to encourage herself to look at more art. So, naturally, she puts it on-screen and doesn't look at it at all.
Ruby has no interest in art and never goes outside her comfort zone to visit galleries or museums (unless she's inviting herself along on Blakeney's trips with her friends). This is just more lies for the sake of appearing scholarly and cultured. The second the camera is off, Ruby will go back to looking at pictures of her role models: Fictional children, aged 9-12.
She makes tea. She proclaims she ALWAYS does things she often never does (drinks green tea for breakfast in this case - it's almost never just
green tea).
She advertises the 'Ponkaproduckvatea' planner with a fabricated page full of grand plans and accomplishments to make it seem like she's being productive when she definitely won't do any of them.
Note the pristine quality of the planner that she's supposedly been using for months - this is 100% a new/barely used one she keeps in a drawer and uses to create fake entries like this, she doesn't use her own planners otherwise.
And the seen-it-all-before shit continues.
- She lights candles with gas lighter because sustainability.
- She pretends she does laundry every day, but says this is a '2 minute or less task', proving that she's never done laundry in her life.
- She tells us she accomplished many, many things off-screen (worked on her dissertation, her book, her creative writing projACKT), but shows none of this and offers no further detail other than claiming she did it.
- She chugs more water.
She crams in more blatant, undeclared ads for snack bars.
For some reason she keeps bagged fruit slices in a random hamper - part of her LARPing boarding school fetish, no doubt. They're supposed to be stored in a cool, dry place. You're not supposed to store them in a hamper by a radiator in your swampy, condensation-filled bedroom like a fucking lunatic.
Ruby: "I ALWAYS disinFACT my DASK and laptop."
And yet:
She blows out candle, films wisps of smoke for an awkwardly long time.
Ruby left herself a note on AXE-ATAR University post-its, lest she forget the insight and wisdom that her brain had conjured up that day.
"Letters treat people as individuals. They operate as gifts. Not just correspondence, but made to be treasured and re-read."
This is going to be her tenuous link between Lewis Carroll's letters and gift culture, and it doesn't give any more indication that she's happened across any good ideas or coherent structure for her dissertation.
And since she has to prove she goes for a walk AVVERY SINGLE DAY, she fucks around filming herself in the street, perching her camera on someone's parked car and risking death by speeding traffic as she backs out into the road.
The only thing she didn't manage to shoehorn in from her predictable repertoire is a visit to Waterstones and 47 different outfits, so you know that her 'LASTEST EVEREST DAILY UNIVARSITEE ROOTEEN VIDEEOO' will be 8 minutes of the Waterstones logo and 11 minutes of outfit changes.
or is she doodling?!
