Questions for those who have been through menopause

[Definitelyme]

Menopause is a way off for me yet (I assume? I’m 34) but fucks sake, reading this has me so annoyed because women get absolutely shafted by nature

 

[Reflected view]

Hey just want to say thank you for starting this thread, my mum keeps telling me she thinks I’m menopausal Iv been to the doctors several times explaining how I’m feeling.
1, no energy
2, can’t wait to get to bed but can’t get up in the morning either
3, weight gain ( especially round tummy )
4, feel like a teen again with PMT periods heavier
5, brain fog.
All my adult life Iv been very active I run 4-5 times a week I do fitness classes I try my best to eat right but also have a little treat here and there, but the last year or two there have been times I physically can’t motivate myself to do anything Iv spent like almost three weeks at a time where I don’t move from home except to go to work and that’s a struggle, I get quite emotional for absolute no reason, it’s like a wave just comes over me.
But the doctor takes my blood and tells me I’m an anemic which I have been all my life and I know exactly what that feels like, but this is more intense.
Does anyone feel like this to?

 

[RoseRazor]

I couldn’t care less if a private specialist makes a profit from my misery- good! As long I feel better. I’m sick of wasting my time or money on GPs and other holistic practitioners who think yoga, seed cycling and wafting a bit of sage about my ovaries twice a month to exorcise the demons is going to help. The amount of money I’ve wasted this year on shite that’s supposed to help and did absolutely nothing. Nope. Take my money menopause expert and give me that HRT. My hormones have always been fucked and I’ve always been sensitive to them in extreme ways so I suspected menopause would be a beast for me but I must admit when I passed 35 I thought I’d missed the early menopause that plagued my mother, but clearly not. I can not WAIT to go on HRT. I have zero quality of life and can barely function. I don’t just feel like I’m suicidal at times, I feel like I’m dying… and I’ve actually been quite seriously ill a number of times but nothing has ever been as bad as this. So if I get a few tuts and shakes of the head from people who think I’ve been exploited and I just needed to exercise more and improve my sleep hygiene they can kiss my ass. You think I’ve not tried those things already?!!!

 

[1001 others]

• Did you find that your PMT symptoms were worse leading up to menopause (extra-angry, pain that lasted longer, etc.?)
• If you opted for HRT, how did you know you needed to go on it, and what sorts of things did it help you with?
• Once your periods stopped, did you find that all the PMT symptoms you used to get completely faded away, or did/do you still get "phantom" symptoms?

 

[Reflected view]

It's utter shit isn't it, I sold my business as I lost the love for it, so regret it now I know what the problem was. I know Women that were making in excess of £100k a year and have had to give up their jobs as they aren't coping, the brain fog is horrible, I went from a really switched on business person to someone that could barely function, couldn't spell, lost loads of things, actually thought I had early onset dementia.

Yes to everything you have said, iv even found myself with horrible thoughts of just walking away from my marriage thinking I’m better off on my own then a few days later I look at my husband and think I would be lost without you, my head gets so confused and mixed up at times. So thankful for this thread

 

[SuzyE]

I was one of the lucky ones that had no symptoms whatsoever.
Like my mother and sister, we were all in our early 40s when we stopped.
Good luck, because its not easy being a woman

 

[House of Tea]

I had a conversation today with my husband regarding menopause he asked me when will it finish the look on his face was of sheer horror and fear when I told him there is no end date

He will have his own change of life…they change into Victor Meldrew imo

 

[RoseRazor]

Ive just finished reading Louise Newsons book on perimenopause and kept breaking down in tears becayse I related to everything. Highly recommend it if anyone suspects peri and wants further clarification. My symptoms are bad today but of course I knew that was coming because my period is due. In fact I think my symptoms are now more reliable at tracking my periods now then my actual period tracker. They’re all over the place atm but you bet, as soon as I feel shit, it all starts. I have quite seriously changed over night since spring. Not just mentally, but physically. I look 10 years older. My life has completely turned upside down. At times I thought I was going mad or schizophrenic or dying!!! I suspected hormones right away because I’d only felt like this briefly after having a baby, but because I was young and still having periods I was open to the professionals suggestions that it was my mental health/stress/heart conditions UNTIL I started to get dry eyes, leaky nips and the hot flushes. Those are massive red flags for me. Then I realised my periods were weird and things were happening in a hormonal pattern. It’s so obvious it’s my hormones but I’ve now suffered 6 months because of them refusing to respect me. 6 months of missing my children growing up, work, special events, flipping out over the silliest of things, feeling broken and ugly, sobbing in my car too scared to drive because I couldn’t concentrate. If only they’d trusted the fact I knew my body better then they did. That’s what this all boils down to. They just assumed I was a silly little woman, flapping, pill chasing, a hypochondriac.

I won’t stop now until they give me HRT. I’m on the war path now. I can’t string a sentence together most days but I’m hoping I can channel all this menopausal rage into something productive.

On the plus side, I’m actually thrilled. I was planning on getting sterilised soon but nature has decided to help me out. Well… I hope… knowing my luck this will drag on until I’m mid 40s!

 

[Notworthy]

I personally think more should be invested in education of what the menopause is and the myriad of symptoms that creep up on us. I sold my business, got a well paying job and quit that too before I found out that it was the menopause making me feel like shit, not the business or job. I estimate it's cost me atleast £100,000 in lost income. I wasn't in denial either, I'd even asked my GP when I had my coil changed how I would recognise when I was menopausal and she just blew me off telling me I'd probably not even notice.

 

[Lady_H]

Glad I found this thread. I am 55 and haven’t had periods for a year now. I have felt horrendous for most of that year with out of control anxiety, depression and awful mood swings. But I’ve now been on the patches for 6 weeks and delighted to say I’m noticing a gradual but definite improvement in my mood and general sense of well being. Now I just feel normal anxious, not horrifically anxious! I actually enjoyed myself today at work! Wow! I feel much more like me, and grateful.

 

[YetAnotherObsessionx]

He will have his own change of life…they change into Victor Meldrew imo

Karl Pilkington is their perimenopause, Victor Meldrew is the final menopause stage... just before they start wearing all beige.

 

[TwizzleStick]

The menopause is absolutely doing me in. I’m not even 40 but had to have a surgical hysterectomy/menopause. I’m still struggling to balance my falling hormones 4 years in. I’m just ranting really as I’m exhausted, achy and more than a little over it

 

[Kittylover2019]

Another rubbish nights sleep. I have woken up feeling like im burning . Mood is poor - I am very angry for some reason and I feel like my brain is a lot wires that are all loose and trailing about ( like I’m disconnected ).

I want to stand on my phone. It isn’t responding like it should. It’s misspelling simple words. Keeps jumping about to the drop down list below. Keeps adding in formatting from the options above . ( the strike through a word button it seems to like doing the most).

Same here, I think my HRT needs tweaking. I wake up most days with a feeling of overwhelming rage. My husband asked me last night if I still like him, I replied yes I do I just don't like myself anymore, the worst for me though are the suicidal thoughts around the time of my period. I can feel them coming on then they just go away.

Peri menopause is brutal.

 

[House of Tea]

I was one of the frozen shoulder club. It has gone now. Took a year and a half to go.

Also plantar fasciitis is common. Weight loss and not completely flat shoes helped.

Joint aches. Tumeric has helped.

Used to have slim calves, now they are much bigger and if I don’t exercise, they puff up. Never had a problem before. Something to do with circulation when you get to menopause. Movement is key to everything. I have also developed arthritis in knees, but that is more general wear and tear and weight I think.

Acid reflux, never had it before. Now I do.

Insomnia. Worry - I have been a ballsy type of woman all my life, now I doubt myself, I am more diffident. It’s like I have a layer of skin removed (but with more fat). I never used to worry what people thought, now I do. My shoulders seem permanently hunched with tension, around my ears, even though I have nowt to worry about. (Interestingly my husband also has had a personality change in mid life. He is now anxious and unsure of himself. He is ace at his jobs, gets loads of plaudits and bonuses for being successful, but now he doubts himself even though he is doing the same thing.) I see midlife as a transition into old age just like puberty was a transition to adulthood. You kind of feel the same confusion.

Not much in the way of flushes, they go completely when I take sage tablets.

This is not an exhaustive list of my ailments but who has time to list them all!

Hormones affect so many areas. Who knew!

 

[ginger tea]

I’m not sure where you live, if you‘re in the UK have you contacted the British Menopause Society?

I haven’t, I had a phone call with my doctor on Tuesday and she has made an actual face to face appointment for tomorrow

 

[House of Tea]

I think the worse thing is anxiety. Here I am, 4.24am. Been awake since 3. Have to get up at 6. I feel things more, like several layers of skin are missing. I am talking mentally rather than physically! I worry so much. I hate myself for it. I used to be ballsy and with a zest for life. I am now a little mouse who trembles at everything.

 

[Crumpet41]

Same here, I think my HRT needs tweaking. I wake up most days with a feeling of overwhelming rage. My husband asked me last night if I still like him, I replied yes I do I just don't like myself anymore, the worst for me though are the suicidal thoughts around the time of my period. I can feel them coming on then they just go away.

Peri menopause is brutal.

I understand . I have experienced similar . Many hugs for you & everyone on this thread.

So glad I found the thread because prior to discovering it I felt like I was on my own and had lost my mind. I have spent 10 months trying to get someone to at my gp surgery to take me seriously and have been either fobbed off or forgotten about. I am now with a new GP and I hope for a better result when I have my appointment on the 4th November.

 

[Crumpet41]

Hi everyone , hope you are all ok? I was meant to have a GP appointment this morning - at the time of booking I was advised it was a telephone appointment . I wrote this information down so I would not forget.
Appointment was meant to be at 9.45 so I was prepared for the call - at 9.48 I knew something wasn’t right ( usually call is on the dot ) so I rang the surgery only to be told the appointment was a face to face.

had a massive breakdown on the phone - whilst I’m stood in a public loo at work. I now have to wait until 30th November for another appointment .

I also had a cry down the phone to the receptionist .

 

[MrsDimSum]

@ginger tea and @Suzesnooze - thank you both so much for taking the time to reply.

I have a call with the GP on Monday.

I also have to say my mood feels a little lightened after reading the thread and knowing I’m not the only person going through this. And also there may be some help out there and I’m not destined to be this miserable old cow for eternity. I’ve felt a huge pressure to try and keep it all together and not be the stereotypical ‘mad woman’ with my family.

But today I sat with my partner and explained how I was feeling, what I was going through and what my worries were and being able to have that chat with him and explain that it might be menopausal and possibly something else with my ovary was a great weight off.

 

[Lady Macbeth]

I coped with menopause through weight training... I exercised my way through it.