Questions for those who have been through menopause

[Rosap]

I'm sitting here in tears and don't know anywhere else to share.

I work in a public sector group and the organisation received some funding to pay for some appointments with a private menopause specialist to help support and retain staff. I applied straight away as ive tried 2 types of hrt that didn't suit me and my gp doesn't have any more suggestions bar anti depressants. I'm so so sad all the time, have no motivation, no libido and am piling on weight. My periods are really heavy and go on for weeks. The specialist can help explore options and make recommendations you can take to your GP.

I just found out that a senior colleague who applied days after me but knows the lead who is running the process got an appt but i didn't. She has no symptoms apart from low mood, has never tried any hrt and is ten years younger than me.

I'm so desperate to feel better and really thought this was going to help but it's a case of who you know obviously. I can't afford a private appointment and I feel like just taking some time off - im struggling to be motivated at work and feel even worse now . I just want to go to bed and shut the door on the world

 

[Pixie06]

I've gone from a size 10/12 to a 16 and as for my boobs they a ridiculously enormous and at only small height I can't carry more weight. None of my clothes fit, it's really depressing me.

 

[Frenchie]

Anyone going through perimnopause?

Im 44, my symptoms
Periods heavier, longer painful x2 a month, exhausted, heavy eyes, brain fog, no libido, can’t sleep, anxious, heart palpitations, does this sound familiar?

 

[Libbylulu]

Around 13 years ago I had a very bad breakdown and my nan said to me that she thought I was going’through the change’. I totally dismissed this as I thought I was too young, said the doctor would have considered this and I’d never heard of peri. Looking back she was absolutely right. They also diagnosed me with bipolar instead which is absolute tosh. The menopause has absolutely chewed me up and I’m still suffering. There really should be more help offered in this day and age. I often think of ladies suffering years ago, not talking about it or getting help. Women really do get the rough end of the stick!

 

[Notworthy]

My worse symptoms were insomnia and anxiety. Also joint pain, hair loss and tingling hands and feet.
I'm not sure if I recommend it as such because it depends on the individual and their stage of menopause.

Me too, insomnia and anxiety were the 1st symptoms at 46 plus I would get heightened smell periodically which I put down to my coil needing to be changed.

My best advice to anyone in their 40's is to start actually paying attention to your body, in fact I would say to young girls to do the same. I never paid attention to anything as I didn't really suffer any symptoms of PMS but at 52 I am so much more in tune with my body. I now realise that the chronic knee pain that I used to suffer from when I was at school and that prevented me playing sport when I got to 14ish was hormonal. It went away only to return as I became menopausal but being older and wiser I now see the pattern that leads to the pain as it's not everyday, just a few days a month. My sense of smell goes crazy for a few days and all I can smell is dogshit, my weight goes up 5lb overnight, I'll crave salt and sugar for a day or two. Track it all, once you know the pattern the symptoms become manageable. They don't disappar but it's easier to ride them out.

I only started it yesterday but the plan is to wean myself off my HRT.
Are you feeling better off HRT?

Why do you want to come off HRT, I know women that swear they will take it till tey die and they all look great.

 

[GetOffMyLawn]

It’s looking like I’m going through the menopause right now

Terrible night sweats, hot flushes throughout the day, erratic mood swings, weight gain... honestly, I’m a shadow of my former self.

I had bloods taken last week with a hormone screen done too. I do have other health issues which could cause some of these symptoms, but considering what my body has been through these last few years , my GP is pretty confident it’s the change.

We’ve already discussed HRT and I’m all for it. I just want to stop feeling this way. It’s so horrible

 

[Notworthy]

I'm in peri, not menopause just yet.

Around 12 mths ago I was having major palpations and spoke to a GP.
I did mention peri and tests and she said that the FSH levels can change daily so unless I was under 30 they wouldn't do those tests. She said that at my age they go on symptoms and that as far as she was concerned with the list I gave her that it was perimenopause.

She took the palpations seriously though and had me in that day for my BP and referred me for a 24hr heart monitor, although she agreed to this after me telling her about my family history.
The cardiologist had no worries at all looking at the results and said it could be age/stress and signed me off.
I still get them now, but not on the same chest crashing scale that I was.

She's right about the hormones fluctuating but NICE guidelines are not to do an FSH test if over 45, fuck only knows where the stupid bint got under 30 from

I cannot begin to tell those of you that have been fobbed off by your GPs how much rage I am feeling on your behalf. It's bad enough that we have to endure the menopause but to then be treated like we are idiots is unacceptable. Please all read the NICE guidelines and if anything you've been told by your GP is incorrect, report them.

 

[Snowjoke]

Does HRT help with sleep?
I've never been a great sleeper, but the last 6 months have been so bad. I can wake up so many times in the night, I would think I never do more than an hour straight through. I feel tired all the time, have a continuous low level headache, and am eating more to try to give me energy. I'm on the verge of tears most of the time. My periods are irregular and can be very heavy, can't wait for them to stop. I'm 51. No real night sweats/ hot flushes.

Menopause is no joke when it comes to sleep HRT, magnesium glycinate, lemon balm/theanine, cbd oil, bath at night time and if restless legs magnesium butter on my legs- these are some of the things that have helped me

 

[Notworthy]

The smugness from not taking HRT comes from the same place as the smugness from having a natural childbirth. Not sure why these women want to put themselves on a pedestal, there's no prizes given out.

 

[imnotarobot]

Hi ladies,

thought I’d update you on my HRT journey. I started it about two months ago and I can honestly say I feel SOOOOOO much better. Like night and day. Still get the odd hot flush (I could always live with those) but the crying jags and the wanting to divorce my whole family feelings are diminishing. Not totally gone but much, much better. Now I’m trying to focus on my weight and fitness as my blood pressure has crept up a bit (always something, isn‘t there?).

so if you’re on the fence about HRT (and I know it may not work for everyone) I can highly recommend it.

xx

 

[Notworthy]

Makes me sick hearing "super heros" brag that they did the menopause with no help

You would think by the time women reach the menopause they would understand that everyone has a different experience with their reproductive organs at every stage. When I 1st got my periods it was awful. I bled very heavily and it felt like someone had their fist inside me trying to drag my insides out. One particular time the school called my Mum because I was in so much pain and the bitch rocked up with some aspirin, gave it to me and drove off. 15 years later when she started the menopause she appreciated what pain I had been in and did apologise. An awful lot of women just think that because it's easy sailing for them, the rest of us are moaners and malingerers. It's the same with pregnancy and childbirth

 

[Notworthy]

I have to say this is what upset me the most about it all. Going from being very confidant and outgoing then bam! Anxiety and panic attacks.

Snap. I've run 2 successful businesses and been in hospitality 30 years and all if a sudden I'm questioning whether I can manage a new business. It feels as though I've lost the best part of myself which was my confidence and fearlessness and turned into this negative, quivering wreck.

 

[Notworthy]

You should start a blog or do you have one ??

No but I'd love to do a proper menopause show, not the rubbish that's been done so far

 

[Libbylulu]

I was early 40’s and was suffering with major depression. Pretty much my 40’s were miserable and I was treated for depression and anxiety with even hospitalisation. My gran mentioned I could be going ‘through the change’ and I dismissed it saying they’d have thought of that surely.
13 years later I was finally put on HRT and I feel like my old self. It’s extraordinary. I see life as I did pre depression, anxiety, my sleep is better, the aches in my joints, hot sweats and cold sweats, my skin…. So many things.
Don’t let them fob you off. Do your research and request HRT even in small doses
Follow Dr Louise Newson, she’s amazing and gives great advice.

 

[House of Tea]

I'm sitting here in tears and don't know anywhere else to share.

I work in a public sector group and the organisation received some funding to pay for some appointments with a private menopause specialist to help support and retain staff. I applied straight away as ive tried 2 types of hrt that didn't suit me and my gp doesn't have any more suggestions bar anti depressants. I'm so so sad all the time, have no motivation, no libido and am piling on weight. My periods are really heavy and go on for weeks. The specialist can help explore options and make recommendations you can take to your GP.

I just found out that a senior colleague who applied days after me but knows the lead who is running the process got an appt but i didn't. She has no symptoms apart from low mood, has never tried any hrt and is ten years younger than me.

I'm so desperate to feel better and really thought this was going to help but it's a case of who you know obviously. I can't afford a private appointment and I feel like just taking some time off - im struggling to be motivated at work and feel even worse now . I just want to go to bed and shut the door on the world

You need to go back and kick up a fuss. It’s patently unfair. You need to explain what you have explained here. At the very least you need to ask for an explanation why they got the golden ticket. I know you feel ground down but you need to raise this.

Failing that, can’t the GP refer you to an NHS menopause clinic?

 

[Notworthy]

Iv always exercised 5-6 times per week since my late teens, I would exercise on holiday Xmas day you name it, but the past few years have been a real struggle for me with the lack of energy and motivation, I would go weeks just staying at home and not doing a thing then having to start all over again but it’s hit me hard this year Iv only ran maybe handful of times since Xmas iv not renewed my gym membership either as feeling very anxious about going back it’s such a horrible cycle to be in , iv started taking a load of vitamins and I’m just now starting to feel a very slight improvement so fingers and toes crossed

It's utter shit isn't it, I sold my business as I lost the love for it, so regret it now I know what the problem was. I know Women that were making in excess of £100k a year and have had to give up their jobs as they aren't coping, the brain fog is horrible, I went from a really switched on business person to someone that could barely function, couldn't spell, lost loads of things, actually thought I had early onset dementia.

 

[Cupcakemum]

Do any of you get bloating? I'm sick of it! I have only just started missing a month with my periods but ever since I keep getting really bad, uncomfortable bloating around the time my period would have been due and I gain about 3-4 pounds during it. I look pregnant!

Massively so! I'll post a picture, and it's embarrassing!
I'm not missing periods yet, my cycle has gone down to 24/25 days.
I bloat halfway through and it hurts so much, then it will go down a touch and then go back to this while I'm on my period.
It used to go down once I came on, but now it stays most of the month, but my.periids have changed to barely being worth having one so I assume that's why it stays.
Sometimes it's so hard and painful

 

[Notworthy]

10 years
I’m 46.

If you think about it logically, our fertility starts to drop around 35 and off a cliff at 40, so the changes are happening, it's just that we don't notice them until they reach a certain point. I have tracked back and my symptoms became noticeable at 46 and I would say that is a pretty common age, menopause on average happens at 51, thats a full year without a period (2 years is considered menopause if pre 50) so 5 years before makes sense. I'd like to see 40+ quoted more in the media for peri rather than 51 as too many women won't accept that their symptoms could be menopause until they are 50, if they are under 50 they will tell you they are too young for their insomnia/anxiety/weightgain to be menopausal symptoms. Not educating yourself on the myriad of symptoms before they hit like a train can be awful. I thought it was all hot flushes and I've yet to have one, turns out my Mum didn;t suffer from them either and I've also dodged the vaginal dryness bullet to, another one my Mum didn't get. I've got the midrift podge and my boobs are bigger but nothing too dramatic as long as I don't live on cake.

Hey hope your well, there’s a lovely poster who goes by @Notworthy she has advised to keep a diary of everything that your feeling and going through as it creates a pattern. Iv been doing this for a few months now and i have come to realise that some of my symptoms go back to when I was in my late 30s and have gradually gotten worse through time, if you do this you may come to realise that you have had some symptoms before now but probably put them down to other things

Bless you, I'm so happy it's worked for you, doesn't solve the problem but makes it a little easier to bear. I found the same with symptom tracking, when I looked back it was probably 2 -3 years of minor symptoms, remembering conversations where I had wondered why I wasn't sleeping, or why I wasn't driving my business forward. I can remember getting a new member of staff and every idea she had I shut down, I actually said to her I felt sorry for her because I used to constantly be evolving my business and moving forward and now everything was nope, nope, nope

 

[Libbylulu]

Anyone going through perimnopause?

Im 44, my symptoms
Periods heavier, longer painful x2 a month, exhausted, heavy eyes, brain fog, no libido, can’t sleep, anxious, heart palpitations, does this sound familiar?

See your doctor. I felt that peri neatly pushed me over the edge. Had I addressed things sooner I don’t think that the menopause would have been quite so brutal. Sending hugs as it can be a miserable time

 

[Blowup80]

I'm 44 this year. I do notice that my usual PMS symptom of being a bit impatient and irritable has become feeling very low with negative thoughts. Been like that for about a year and am wondering if the change is peri related.

I'm worried about getting anxiety. I'm such a laid back person and hate the thought of becoming overly anxious. So many women in my workplace who are on their late 5Os/early 60s are like this and I assume it is a long lasting effect from menopause.

My mum is like this, too. She drives me round the bend. It's really upsetting to think your personality might change so much.

I have to say this is what upset me the most about it all. Going from being very confidant and outgoing then bam! Anxiety and panic attacks.