Questions for those who have been through menopause

[DellaC]

Morning All, Just getting myself a place here.

I'm in the first stages of perimenopause. It's bloody awful. I have many symptoms and am hoping not to add any more

Current symptoms:
-Erratic bleeding (On 3rd week of heavy bleeding after 3 months of nothing)
-Night sweats and some flushes during the day
-Inability to sleep, my head whizzes and won't settle. My legs ache.
-Low mood (no bloody wonder)
-Anxiety
-Dry itchy scalp
-Can smell burning on and off
-Itchy ears (crusty too )
-Bloating
-Irritability
-Absolutely nopatiencetodealwithanythingoranyone!

I am and always have been a person who looks on the brightside, I find solace in humour and having had major trauma during childhood I don't really get phased by anything.

But this.

Its knocking me for 6.

I've been to the GP and she was wonderful. I have had bloodtests and been prescribed antidepressants, I'm back to see her next week.

I've taken some tips from what I've read here already so thank you. (Excercise, diet, magnesium, CBD)

Big hugs to my menopausal friends....virtual of course, I'm sweaty and don't really want to touch anyone lol!

 

[Badirene]

Not a question, a statement of fact.

Bastard chin hairs. I have been walking around with two very long ones for God knows how long just under my chin. Just didn’t see them until just now. Mortifying. An inch and a half long each.

🧔‍♀️

You have my sympathy. I have taken to avoiding mirrors. Covid masks were a blessing there for a while. I currently look like this.

 

[Lilbear1]

I started the menopause at 17(premature ovarian failure) and been on hrt on and off ever since and never able to have children.Probably going to take myself off it again for a while. (I do my own thing as by my own gynae drs admitance-i know more than them longterm hrt side effects. Not much i dont know about side effects if i can help anyone.

 

[Notworthy]

Thank you! It was so odd, but it’s good to know.

It was so noticeable as well!

I don't know if you have read the whole thread but I really advocate diarising anything out of the norm. Peeing, sense of smell, weight gain (I initially weighed myself everyday and found that my weight went up 5lb overnight around the same time my sense of smell went nuts, a day or 2 later I would be peeing like an elephant and then weight dropped down again) mood (normally dropped around the same time as weight gain) food cravings, itchy skin, insomnia. It won't solve the problem but might help you manage it and your home life, atleast if you know when you are going to be moody you can warn those around you and apologise in advance. Also a word of warning, if you have been happy in your life and suddenly you aren't, it is almost certainly the hormones behind it, not reality so no big decisions like quitting your job, moving away, dumping your partner. They don't call it the change for nothing. I literally ripped my life apart.

 

[ginger tea]

So here we go again 🫤 the crazy loosing my mind, seeing things that are not there, imagining my husband is up to things he’s not is starting to make an appearance again, I’m trying my very hardest for it not to happen but the harder I try the stronger it’s becoming, iv been in a good place this past year everything was more settled within myself, then a couple of weeks ago the thoughts started creeping in, i really can’t go through this shit again I know it’s all me, I can’t put my family and husband through this it’s very unsettling and painful, they have been very supportive of me, why do your hormones do this to you ? Why can’t we just get through peri/menopause without all the shit that comes with it don’t us women deserve better ? We need to deal with a lot in our lives and then this shit happens to us it’s so unfair, and to all those women that say they sailed through peri/menopause you don’t know how lucky you are

 

[ginger tea]

I’m at the stage I’m going to kill my husband he’s been pushing my buttons for a few weeks now, il be sitting watching the tv and he will come in and say you look in a mood, your face is tripping you, it’s your choice to stay in it or come out if it I tried to explain to him that the more he comes at me with these comments the longer it will take but I feel he’s going out his way to get a reaction from me he asked me when will the menopause stop I said this is it there is no end date NO CONSIDERATION FOR ME only him

 

[Woolmercardington]

Talking of nobody speaking about menopause, remember when it would just be referred to as "The Change"

I always found that a bit alarming. Like we would suddenly sprout hair and fangs at the first glimpse of a full moon

 

[Notworthy]

Not only that, she went private to get her HRT and Testosterone. It's very hard to get testosterone on the NHS. I feel like she seemed shocked she was perimenopausal at 44 but I was told at 45 that I was and the Dr said that's the standard age. But it can last 10 years, so I feel Davina rushed into HRT etc too quickly. I was told that the thing with HRT is it stops your symptoms but once you come off it they just come back again.

A good site to use to look up symptoms etc is menopause matters.

Symptoms will come back but not for long as the process of the hormones reducing is a lot quicker. I knew she would've gone private, exactly the same as Mariella Frostrups doc. Their experiences are nowhere close to what the rest of us get on the NHS and that should be made much clearer.

 

[imnotarobot]

I Loads of marriages break up around this time and if you read articles about women that hook up with younger men in other countries, the vast majority of them are in their late 40's.

I’ve said this many times recently, I wonder how many marriages break up because the husband isnt able to ride this hurdle through with his wife. My family are very supportive but they also are quite bewildered at times.

 

[lockdown sux]

It’s certainly not easy being women at any stage of life

 

[ginger tea]

I cannot believe how much my skin has aged in a year. My hands suddenly look like old women's hands and I've got the dreaded flabby arms. I have been toying with HRT as I do think there are long term benefits to taking it.
Weight is fine, BMI is about 21 so possibly a bit thin.

I feel your pain, when I look in the mirror I see my mum looking back iv aged so much I’m even moaning about the same things as my mum does and it’s driving my husband mad

 

[Notworthy]

So glad to find this thread.

This week my face has randomly flushed pink and hot. I do not have sensitive skin at all so was really weirded out.

My periods are erratic now, take ages to properly start and finish. Insomnia as well. I’m 44, maybe peri?

almost certainly. I don't get hot flushes but very occasionally it feels like my right cheek has been slapped, bizarrely my left cheek is always fine. Sadly it's not my arse cheek

 

[House of Tea]

I feel that since iv been peri menopause I’m more aware/alert and see how people really are and can see through their fakeness and bullshit. Or is it just an age thing?? Does anyone else feel this ??

Also, since the pandemic people have definitely got harder. Less likely to engage. For people who were lonely before I would imagine that they are even lonelier. Obvs not menopause related but my lack of patience and being quite happy to not talk to anyone anymore is both post pandemic and menopause. Apparently when you go through menopause you lose the maternal side of you, you become a bit more selfish and put yourself first, stop people pleasing. Not true for all but a recognised outcome nonetheless. I do think women haven been given the shitty end of the stick in life. Periods, menopause - all quite debilitating.

 

[House of Tea]

Well this has taken a turn!

I like differing points of view. It’s good to have all angles.

 

[Notworthy]

I went to the dr but as the only symptom I really have is the constant bleeding, she didn’t want me to try HRT. I just wondered how long I can expect to have a period for 3 weeks of the month?

Why don't these fucking Drs just keep their own personal opinions out of it and prescribe HRT. It's hardly an experimental drug, just because the GP might not want it for herself doesn't mean she should inflict her own prejudices onto her patients.

 

[Notworthy]

I wondered about Stella Tenant. Suicide rates in women of menopausal age rise | ITV News

How peri/menopause effects your mental health and mind set is the most shocking for me, I honestly never thought that would be a factor and probably one of the main ones for me personally

Me too, I have never had any mental health issues but menopause stuffed me right up

 

[Snoopylouwho]

Hi everyone

Just parking myself here, been directed to it from the Nicola Bulley thread where many of us have been discussing our struggles with peri/menopause.

I am 41 and have been struggling for approx 2 years. I am reluctant to go the doctors just yet (i will if i get any worse) however I have been taking Menopace and they are taking the edge off things and have also stopped the hot flushes.

I'm going to read back over this thread for any tips and stories but just wanted to post first.

 

[RoseRazor]

Jesus fucking christ that's embarrassingly ignorant. That needs a formal complaint

Honestly, thats just the tip of the iceberg. Some of the things they’ve said and done to me these past few months you would not believe. Its lucky no serious harm has been done. Can’t really discuss what’s happened as it might identify me, but yes, I’ll be complaining about this and the rest once the brain fog is better.

 

[lockdown sux]

I just wanted to say I’m 2 months on HRT I feel so much better. It’s like walking around after having 1-2 glasses of wine compared to how I used to feel.
My confidence has improved dramatically too.
I use the oestrogen patch (changed twice a week ) and progesterone tabs (daily the last 2 weeks of my cycle)

 

[1001 others]

Thank you very much ladies ... ironically, I forgot to mention that memory loss is also an issue at the moment!