ElbiePickle
Member
I'm new to posting on this thread but I've been lurking for a while. I just wanted to thank all of those who have shared their own stories about SA in childhood. I suffered neglect as an infant which wasn't the best start and then I was groomed over several years by my step dad which ultimately went on to full SA when I was 10 and 11. I don't think I can adequately express how much this sort of thing can damage you and fuck with you for the rest of your life, both physically and mentally. It can make you much more likely to get so many different health issues, mainly because of the inflammation that trauma causes in a body-wise sense. It's hard work for a body and brain to keep going and survive when you've had something like SA happen to you as a child., it's often constantly in fight-or-flight mode and that takes it's toll. More though, it messes with the core of who a child is, what value they place on themselves, on their own lives, their worthiness to take a place among the human race, which is quite frankly heartbreaking.
It's insidious, the effects build and build, and trauma gets passed through the generations. Both my parents had traumatic childhoods, and I suffered abuse in various forms because of it. That's simplistic, but their trauma left them unable to deal with having a child, unable to protect me and keep me safe, unwilling to do anything when SA was plainly evident allowing the SA to continue.
The effects can lay dormant for years, you get by, you learn to survive, and then it can rear its ugly head when you least expect it. It's really common that when someone has their own kids, these past traumas can start to resurface. You start to see how helpless you were as a child, how innocent you were, how you were betrayed by those who should have protected you. Obviously it's different when it's parents, that's a whole other level of betrayal. But the same applies with a teenager and any adult, it's the same principle - you abuse an implicit postion of trust that a child has to have, that you as an adult are not going to harm them.
I think it's a similar thing when stories like this break in the news. They force you to think about stuff, maybe stuff you've buried for years and years. I've had various lots of therapy and I'm doing better than I was in my 20s (40s now), but I've still got a long way to go. I don't have kids but I was triggered when the Saville story broke. It was everywhere, everyone was talking about it, on all platforms, you couldn't escape from it, and it brought everything back to the surface again for me. I'm waiting to find out if I've been accepted for therapy for Complex PTSD, but with the NHS who knows?!
Anyway, apologies for the long post. I'm not sure what the purpose was except to share some personal insight and offer lots of love to all those struggling.
It's insidious, the effects build and build, and trauma gets passed through the generations. Both my parents had traumatic childhoods, and I suffered abuse in various forms because of it. That's simplistic, but their trauma left them unable to deal with having a child, unable to protect me and keep me safe, unwilling to do anything when SA was plainly evident allowing the SA to continue.
The effects can lay dormant for years, you get by, you learn to survive, and then it can rear its ugly head when you least expect it. It's really common that when someone has their own kids, these past traumas can start to resurface. You start to see how helpless you were as a child, how innocent you were, how you were betrayed by those who should have protected you. Obviously it's different when it's parents, that's a whole other level of betrayal. But the same applies with a teenager and any adult, it's the same principle - you abuse an implicit postion of trust that a child has to have, that you as an adult are not going to harm them.
I think it's a similar thing when stories like this break in the news. They force you to think about stuff, maybe stuff you've buried for years and years. I've had various lots of therapy and I'm doing better than I was in my 20s (40s now), but I've still got a long way to go. I don't have kids but I was triggered when the Saville story broke. It was everywhere, everyone was talking about it, on all platforms, you couldn't escape from it, and it brought everything back to the surface again for me. I'm waiting to find out if I've been accepted for therapy for Complex PTSD, but with the NHS who knows?!
Anyway, apologies for the long post. I'm not sure what the purpose was except to share some personal insight and offer lots of love to all those struggling.
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