Niomi Smart #38 My bum is out, my trip was free, why's everyone so mean to me

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Tea&Toast

Don’t know where she’s gonna find room for the thermomix and all it’s attachments 😆 that kitchens got little enough worktop space and storage as it is. How will she use the device, when she hardly ever at home.

Its no wonder she doesn’t want to spend even a weekend at home, she has no windows in that shed. Imagine having no views in every room of your house, even her yard is depressing and gets no direct sunlight. What kind of an idiot buys that place, when she could have bought a nice flat.

Btw I love sliced pickled beetroot in a jar, I assume that’s safe 😆 and that nut butter desperately needed some oil, it looked dry as a bone.
 
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irvinelane

irvinelane

earlgrey said:
How many times have we seen her blend cashews, make a smoothie or dhal? She couldn’t come up with something a little more interesting? And no, a kiwi kale smoothie with no fat or protein is definitely NOT a pahfect breakfast.
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It would be a perfect breakfast if people want to look as washed out as she is.
 
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Callan

Callan

Pickled beets are delicious! Wish I had some :) Sorry wasn't suggesting that eating a raw beet will be 100% fatal, but I managed to find info that it can make some people sick that's all, versus her fans commenting to others that this info doesn't exist, where did you find it etc.. clearly they aren't looking for that answer lol.

Wish she cooked something more interesting, most of these recipes she could have done in a blender, a yawn boring smoothie, and cashew butter? She could have steamed some fish lol!
 
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Nitfey

Nitfey

Callan said:
The recipe said to add little oil to it, she immediately said NO I'm not adding any oil. Can't screen shot as she disabled closed captioning and the transcript isn't available either, super helpful to people who can't hear Dickbobs.
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Big no to oil but big yes to alcohol...yep she has her life put together 😒
What is next? Dyson ? How to clean tiny shed? Fancy air cleaner ?air fryer? She really is just random with everything. Why just quit influencer thing if she cannot make even a small effort. She has one "job" and can't even do it properly🙄
 
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bluestone

bluestone

omg she is such a bad speaker

so she made a video just to tell us to read the screen and follow the step by step recipe ? Her content is pure tit

I watched only 3 minutes and that’s enough for me, she has such a weird voice, weird vibe, weird hair, her shed makes me claustrophobic, I hate everything about her videos
 
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kale-supremacist

kale-supremacist

Her video is only showing in 360p quality for me. Anyone else ?

Also, everytime she post one of her QVC style video, I remember her " I'm not an influencer " speech... it's just so risible.
 
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cee-bee

Ah yes more tat being shilled by Niomi.

let me fill you in tattlers, on the deal with thermomixes, for anyone who doesn’t already know.

Thermomix is basically a fancy blender/microwave? They initially, at least, wanted to give off a very exclusive vibe. They didn’t do cold calling, they didn’t do aggressive marketing. They were an exclusive product and wanted to make the consumer feel like *they* had pursued the product.

I first came across it via Rosie Londoner. She was extolling the virtues of her lovely thermomixer some time at the end of 2019 or early 2020. She gave a code of some sort and a link to “try” out this product. I had a tiny kitchen at the time so was intrigued.

I signed up to the link she provided thinking I’d get a discount maybe, providing my phone number. She was either purposefully obtuse or was an idiot and didn’t explain it properly - but what I was really signing up for was a discrete sales pitch, otherwise known as a “demonstration”.

the lady from thermomix who called me was, to be blunt, lacking in all intelligence and common sense.

I initially didn’t recognise the product name as I’d signed up on a whim. The woman started telling me about the product and how I’d signed up to be contacted. Initially I was confused, couldn’t remember signing up I told her - but I love cooking so was interested.

she became fixated on repeatedly telling me I’d signed up - she wasn’t cold calling me, I’d signed up for this. Cool, ok that’s fine, I said. I must’ve just forgotten. What’s this product then?

“but you definitely signed up” she kept repeating back at me. I never found out much about this mixer and at that point I realised where she’d got my number from. She’d totally lost my interest and I said I couldn’t be bothered. It was the most unprofessional sales pitch I’d ever heard. What sort of salesperson, when they have their subjects interest in the product - focuses instead on who called who first?

they are extremely expensive, and I think they target “aspirational” (aka rich skinny) influencers in the hopes the sheep following them, will buy in.

it’s not quite an MLM scheme , but you can’t buy them in shops - only from salespeople who get a commission. It’s an interesting business model, to say the least.

in short, Niomi is basically a modern version of an avon lady, except it’s via YouTube instead of a catalogue, and it’s a dodgy blender instead of makeup. Classy.

www.news.com.au

The ‘nasty’, crazy Thermomix cult

YOU either love or hate the Thermomix. Sure, it can whip up a mean risotto, but the $2089 fancy blender has also ruined friendships, left people with serious burns and could be the subject of a class-action lawsuit.
www.news.com.au www.news.com.au


 
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ellie9223

i don't know if it's my laptop but isn't the quality of her video awful? Also that video feels like an early 2000 telemarketing advert (something of the like of miracle blade)
 
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sydneybarrett

sydneybarrett

Clicked on her video, 20 seconds in she goes: "and the thermomix is amazing because it has 20 different functions, ALL-IN-ONE!! So, first of all I'm going to be making a Smoothie"

 
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Callan

Callan

kale-supremacist said:
Her video is only showing in 360p quality for me. Anyone else ?

Also, everytime she post one of her QVC style video, I remember her " I'm not an influencer " speech... it's just so risible.
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Same for me that's the only setting other than auto to watch it on, it's kinda gritty and blurry. Someone left her the same comment under the video, be prepared to be banned for hate speech!
 
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T

TheGlossy

kale-supremacist said:
Her video is only showing in 360p quality for me. Anyone else ?

Also, everytime she post one of her QVC style video, I remember her " I'm not an influencer " speech... it's just so risible.
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Same here.

Why on earth did she shoot this video with her back facing the window? The lighting is way off because of this.

She literally looks like an exhausted carpool mom (which she wishes she were).
 
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dodo789

Callan said:
I see a little "ad" in the title now, I bet she added it later.. she's got kale, orange, ginger and kiwi or is it a sweet potato? The hell is she making... oh another smoothie, good lord.

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Seriously, what did she use to film this with? This orange tint she has on looks exactly like how her ugly insta stories do as well these days. I know she’s not an influencer now…while shilling an expensive kitchen appliance 🙄 …but where are her lights…maybe she had to get rid off them because they wouldn’t have fit in her shed 🤣
 
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plasticcup

I now understand why Forky had another female teach him how to boil an egg.

I keep having to remind myself that she wrote a cookbook.
 
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