Niomi Smart Gossip Forum

Sometimes vegan (eats flesh and dairy while on holiday - which is twice a week even during covid) and allegedly a wellness infuencer who was signed gleam futures.

Was engaged to Joe Woodward, the son of the rugby coach Sir Clive Woodward but they broke up during lockdown - maybe due to her hiding peanut butter from him and freaking out over wanting toast. Doesn't really stand for anything, will advertise anything. Although will never declare freebies or affiliate links. Thinks influencers are gross and she's better than other influencers. Drives a gifted jaguar to press trips and gifted yoga breaks. Doesn't use public transport - takes taxis everywhere and refuses to wear a mask even when sick.

Her second engagement was to Dublin based Business Mentor and Life Coach Jamie White, they spent some time in Bali together but the relationship appears to have ended not long after attending a couples retreat that included cock worship.
View most liked Niomi Smart posts on tattle
  1. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #80 Charging for articles sounding like ChatGPT, she's no morals, conscience or husband to be

    Thanks to @curiouscat106 for thread title suggestion (v slightly amended to fit). And thank you for your beautiful comment 🙏 🥰 But plot twist. Expert Tattle sleuthing has uncovered Niomi has probably gone back THERE. She's almost certainly been to South Africa to visit entrepreneur 🤭 handstand...
  2. Shutterbug99

    Niomi Smart #79 'Money, money, money' Substack honey- trap!

    Thanks to @Coldfeet for the excellent thread title! Recap: Niomi confirmed that she reads Tattle and wishes this place didn't exist. She stated that a lot of what's written here is 'made up,' which is not true. What is true is that her 'cock worship' retreat is on Tattle for everyone to see -...
  3. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #78 In London, out Lordon

    Dear shadows of the dark, we had finally the break up confirmation... as if we needed one! Hope that everyone is doing fine and self loving themselves ❤ for real not like Nimbobs who spent...
  4. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #77 Jamie White is a culty creep, too nasty for even Nimbobs to keep

    My dear lovely red butterflies and shadows of the dark, (this is getting too long lol) The threads are moving so fast!! Not a long recap (you will find out why at the end). But it appears that Niomi is still on a mission of frantically erasing the existence of Lordon from her instagram without...
  5. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #76 So are we just pretending that the culty guy never happened?

    Dear shadows of the dark, we are gathered today 😁😁😁 to celebrate the ending of all our heartaches ❤, the coming to light of the dumbest of them all 🥰, the liberation of Tattle from teethy McDonky 🥳! I hereby announce the official breakup of Dumbobs and Lordon!! Oh wait.. Well yeah yeah... not...
  6. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #75 Stipulations, manifestations and early morning ruminations

    Dear shadows of the dark, in this dark gloomy rainy morning, a girl named Nimbobs is wandring around in London doing some deep thinking, and we're here wonderning where the hell is Lordon and also doing some deep thinking. So much deep thinking went on in the last thread about whether they're...
  7. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #74 Thank you for your beautiful message and your support

    Dears shadows of the dark, 2023 wasn't an easy year for us on this thread. It went from ugly to uglier to shitty to OMFG what did I just see! Let's review last year in numbers: - 18 threads - more than 18200 comments - 16 youtube videos - 1 new boyfriend - 1 new engagement - 1 new personality...
  8. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #73 Life with Joey was a dream, now she’s bowing to a pointy peen

    Dear shadows of the dark, so.. last thread was.. interesting/vomit inducing/educational/the worst nightmare ever/WTF..... The love birds went to a sex retreat, Niomi learned how to worship a cock by bowing to it, Lordon apparently learned how to give a woman oral sex for exactly 15 minutes...
  9. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #72 Searching for crystal EMF protection, while posting on Instagram with no life direction

    My dear shadows of the dark, our beloved Nimbobs is suddenly back to being a youtuber.. and telling us all about her pahhhhfect life with Lordon in Bahhhli, still searching for the meaning of life while being perfectly miserable happy. I personnally didn't watch any of it because I have a...
  10. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #71 Awakening her kundalini while wearing nothing but a barely there bikini

    My dear shadowzz, we had some good old thread names but I don't think we ever had one THIS PEHFECT!! Thank you Shutterbug99 for it <3 Don't have a huge recap because I really have no time (SO SORRY!) but you guyyyzzz it's Joey's birthday and we're all wishing for a revenge-fuck-you-drink post or...
  11. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #70 She puts the pathetic into empathetic

    Well here we go!! welcome welcome :love: @georgiatheolivegirl is the thread title queen. The two bedbugs (I live in Paris so.. wink wink) lovebirds are in Bali. And... Why Joey why!!!! :sick: 🤮 Oh moon!
  12. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #69 Some people take a gap year. Niomi is taking a gap life

    Hello to the new thread Thread title is by @lookout Your daily dose of vomit inducing content is by these two That story. That eye contact. Him. Nothing more can be said...
  13. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #68 When you start following a dick, you become one too...

    Well hello guysss and welcome back to the Nimbos Dimbobs show, with special appearances of Lordon and his pencil. Haven't followed all the details of the last thread, but all you need to know as a recap is: Niomi is still engaged to dickhead and they are both heading soon to Bahhhli to search...
  14. Shutterbug99

    Niomi Smart #67 Lordon's pointy pencil peen is the very worst thing we've ever seen

    Thanks for voting for my thread title! I've amended it a little as I think 'pointy pencil peen' reads better than 'skinny pencil peen.' 😄 Recap: Nims and Lordon got frisky in a reel where they displayed their love in public and Lordon declared he was 'a bit horny'. Nims faced a backlash for...
  15. CallItAsItIs

    Niomi Smart #66 Engagement Era 2.0 Niomi Smug and her Slug

    I’m currently waiting for my flight, so I’m going to give this a go (ooh, we’re challenging ourselves to be proactive…which is more than Nimbobs can say for herself). Thanks to @Shutterbug99 for the thread title. Where it started: Cartier’s polo event, where Lordon was dressed like the frump...
  16. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #65 A way to live smart would be to see a therapist

    Thanks to @peanutbuttercupp11 for thread title suggestion. Taken from a comment from under one of Nimbob's oh so inspirational podcasts 🙄 Yes that is right she has bravely undertaken the task of educating the nation in the ways of wisdom and love and manifesting through the medium of podcasts...
  17. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #64 Happy clappy in a life so crappy

    Thanks to @Coldfeet for most popular thread title suggestion. Main excitement from last thread was Lordon's amazing birthday surprise for Niomi. He loves surprises! He told her to pack her passport, presumably to whisk her away on a romantic minibreak abroad. Weeeelll. Not quite. It was a...
  18. tattle420

    Niomi Smart #63 Jamie White is that you? Let’s do it again, I do, round 2

    thanks to @Anneliese2199 for the great title, was a landslide victory. Is a summary really necessary when the only thing of note that happened is that NIMBOBS IS NOW ENGAGED 💍 TO LORDON 🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷🦷 and we're all waiting for this to blow up in their faces.
  19. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #62 Boobs and butt all over the 'gram, Nims is one step away from OnlyFans

    Thanks to @Shutterbug99 for thread title suggestion. In honour of Nimbobs frolicking on an Irish beach with her baps out for Lordon's birthday. A magical entirely spontaneous moment and it's obvious why Nim was so attracted to his 'infectious smile' 🥰 Yes they are still in Dublin. Niomi now...
  20. Shutterbug99

    Niomi Smart #61 Total Eclipse of the Shart

    Hi Shadows! Thanks for voting for my thread title. Made me laugh when it popped into my head yesterday! Recap: Niomi now spends her days in a cellar apartment praying for sunshine while crying non-stop for hours on end. She's SO HAPPY with her 'love' and blames her crying episodes, along with...
  21. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #60 Eat not, prey, love bomb

    Dear desperate housewives of the shadows, Welcome to the new thread! It's too early in the morning to make a new thread but the last one is already full. It moved so fast because the love birds made a podcast together.. it was awful. Recap - The podcast was supposed to be about how they met...
  22. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #59 She wants settle down with babies and a cat, between Dublin and Bali with Lordon the rat

    Dear desperate housewives of the shadows, Welcome to the new thread! So the lovebirds went back home. Home is not London anymore, home is now wherever Lordon is doing his current sitting in a circle event. Whether it's Bali or Dublin or London or the moon, wherever Lordon goes, Nimbobs goes too...
  23. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #58 She wanted a ring, instead all she got was a piece of string.

    Dear desperate housewives of the shadows, Welcome to the new thread. The last one was boring and cringy and icky and vomit inducing.. like always :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Apparently our love birds did some kind of ceremony before leaving Bali with tying knots and stuff that mean...
  24. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #57 Niomi Shart: Get the shts, practice the splits - in Bali

    Dear desperate housewives of the shadows, Last week was the week of love and roses and gifts and cards. I hope you all had a beautiful Valentines day with your significant others, your loved friends, your family or just by yourself feeling gorgeous and loved by the most important person in the...
  25. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #56 Niomi Shart's bright tribes and the Shadows of Tattlelife

    Dear desperate housewives of the shadows, last thread went by so fast!! we really are the most productive shadows in the history of housewives! Let me try and make sense of all of this shall we? But first off.. thread title by.. well Nimbobs herself if I might say so.. After the pedicure and...