Niomi Smart Gossip Forum

Sometimes vegan (eats flesh and dairy while on holiday - which is twice a week even during covid) and allegedly a wellness infuencer who was signed gleam futures.

Was engaged to Joe Woodward, the son of the rugby coach Sir Clive Woodward but they broke up during lockdown - maybe due to her hiding peanut butter from him and freaking out over wanting toast. Doesn't really stand for anything, will advertise anything. Although will never declare freebies or affiliate links. Thinks influencers are gross and she's better than other influencers. Drives a gifted jaguar to press trips and gifted yoga breaks. Doesn't use public transport - takes taxis everywhere and refuses to wear a mask even when sick.

Her second engagement was to Dublin based Business Mentor and Life Coach Jamie White, they spent some time in Bali together but the relationship appears to have ended not long after attending a couples retreat that included cock worship.
View most liked Niomi Smart posts on tattle
  1. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #99 Nothing, nothing and nothing

    Hi everyone. Thread title by @chausette 💕 Anyone wants to do a recap of.. nothing? It seems like time has stopped and won't restart until we have a new wonderful partner.
  2. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #98 Not such a Wonderful Partner after all. Ha, classic NioMe!

    Does it work does it work does it work?? the title??!! yeah? you know another no good boyfriend you know... classic Niomi you know? tried combining both and it works I guess?? 😂 Hello dear tattlers, Niomi is single again and is as happy as ever! Ha! Bye! (Thread title by @gmik8210 and...
  3. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #97 A baby for Forky and a new gf for Joey... somebody please propose to Niomi!

    Dear shadows of the night, it has been a tough few weeks and a horrible start of December. Last thread we thought that a proposal was coming. We manifested it. We dreamt it. We believed. In. It. But after one tarot reader bad visit, everything changed. Gather your Kundalinis and hold hands...
  4. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #96 Open your wallet to open your heart

    Dear shadows of the night, welcome to the new thread! Prepare your favorite diluted beverage of choice, mama café or daddy caco or uncle juice and let's do some recap shall we? But let's start by singing with me! 🎶Nimbobs has a boyyyfriend 🎶Nimbobs is in loooove 🎶Nimbobs is insta official!🎶 la...
  5. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #95 Yoga teacher who doesn’t teach, influencer who can’t influence, a Smart who isn’t smart.

    Dear shadows of the night, welcome to the new thread of nothing. How are we almost at thread 100 with a Nimbobs who does NOTHING at all is mind blowing (take a shot everytime you read "nothing". The recap? She went on holiday with her family doing nothing after a holiday with her boyfriend...
  6. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #94 Locking down engagement number 4 before WP reads Tattle and shows her the door

    Well hello dear shadows of the night. Only 6 more threads until thread number 100!!! 100 threads of the most boring (not) influencer (eww cringe) on the planet earth. Nothing new happened in the life of Nimbobs. Duh. She's still not engaged. Does anything else really matter? Thread title by...
  7. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #93 Building a home, one freebie at a time

    Hello you dark shadows! welcome to the new thread! We're approching the 100th thread you guys! beuudiful pahhhfect! any idea how to celebrate? Thread title by le moi with 33 votes but got some gems such as #93 In the Flat, Feeling Flat — Where’s My Proposal At? :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO...
  8. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #92 She's gone from a grifter to a Schifter

    ::::::> (Recording a voice message while whispering shlooowly) Hiii you guys (whispers) oh it's 07:07AM here (giggle) I'm doing the new thread (slurp) while babyblah is crying by my side (slurp) I have vomit on my shirt (whispers) but oh moon it is pahhhfact vomit I swear (giggle giggle).. :::<...
  9. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #91 Miss Engaged Three Times twice to the same prat

    Thanks to @curiouscat106 and @Hally34 for thread title suggestion and nomination. Slightly amended as Tattle doesn't allow swears in titles. Still no update on the identity of Wonderful Partner. Presumably he lives in Copenhagen. Which admittedly doesn't narrow it down that much. Niomi has...
  10. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #90 She has a Wonderful Partner, who could he be? Will he become fiancé number three?

    Aaaaaand we have a new boyfriend! or should i say a wonderful partner as phrased by our very own Nimbobs. If you are confused so are we. She made a pity video about being honest, alone, a loner, almost 35 with no kids, blah blah blah.. making it feel as if she was a lonely girl lost after her...
  11. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #89 New year New me.. New Niomi New personality

    Dear shadows of the dark, happy new year and may all your wishes come true! As for this thread we already got all we wanted for Christmas: THE LORDON BREAK UP after a year of agony. Now all we are waiting for is a new fiancé. And of course a new personality. And we are waiting. Waiting. Aaand...
  12. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #88 Bye bye cock retreats and naughty Halloween orgies … hello museums and Dior parties

    Good morning my fellow shadows of the night. Second thread post Lordon break up and life is just so good right now! Even though they still didn't confirm, we can officially say that it's over, for now... Nimbobs is back to the UK, with her mum and family, posting about aaaart and beauudiful...
  13. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #87 Donkey Gone (?)

    FOREVER!!!!!!!!!! Foreeeever gone 🎶We want him to beee, forever gone! 🎶 Do we really want him gone forever? 🎶 Forever, and ever! Forever GONE! 🎶 Yoohoo 🎊🎉🙌🎇🎆🎋 We're officially celebrating the non yet official but sure to be second break up with Lordgyyyy!!! Our prayers have been finally...
  14. Shutterbug99

    Niomi Smart #86 The woman is having a never ending existential crisis

    Thread title by @gmik8210 with thanks to @Callan for the thread title nomination. Another thread, and Niomi is still wasting away in Bali with loser Lordon. Some Tattlers have suggested that the gruesome twosome may be on the rocks once again, with Niomi going on solo retreats while looking...
  15. curiouscat106

    Niomi Smart #85 Looks like she manifested a lot of sh..

    There’s a new YT video up and so much to unpack, I thought a new thread was required as a matter of urgency 😆 New thread title courtesy of @Lionsden and @Mrs.Scamander ♥ (I hope it’s within the guidelines!) The last thread was a loooong ride, but some of the more notable happenings included...
  16. reCAPTCHA

    Niomi Smart #84 Niomi eat some starchy carbs, your brain has turned to mush

    Thread title courtesy of @WinterSolstice with 49 votes.
  17. P

    Niomi Smart #83 Her ego died, Lordon’s arse is open wide, Garbage Garry knuckle-deep inside, will she ever be a bride?

    Thanks to @MuthaCuppa for the title with the most likes: https://tattle.life/threads/niomi-smart-82-if-all-that-manifestation-gave-you-jamie-no-way-im-giving-it-a-go.45550/page-23#post-19679173 And thanks to @Pistachiyo for the title I've used by mistake 😅 Niomi Smart continues to document her...
  18. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #82 If all that manifestation gave you Jamie, no way I'm giving it a go

    Thanks to a commenter under one of Niomi's IG posts for the thread title suggestion. Well something strange has just happened. Niomi is not wearing their ✨ star 💍 ✨ and has not mentioned 🐴 since that one brief IG story. In completely unrelated news Jamie White has been in Texas exploring himself 🤭
  19. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #81 Niomi & Donkey - Part Deux Manipulation Wins

    Thanks to @curiouscat106 for thread title suggestion. Well yes it's true. What Tattlers already suspected. They are back together, and not just that but engaged again 🤦‍♀️ Niomi has now finished her 200hr yoga training and is back in London. Presumably Lordon is with her but no word from...
  20. Jelly Bean

    Niomi Smart #80 Charging for articles sounding like ChatGPT, she's no morals, conscience or husband to be

    Thanks to @curiouscat106 for thread title suggestion (v slightly amended to fit). And thank you for your beautiful comment 🙏 🥰 But plot twist. Expert Tattle sleuthing has uncovered Niomi has probably gone back THERE. She's almost certainly been to South Africa to visit entrepreneur 🤭 handstand...
  21. Shutterbug99

    Niomi Smart #79 'Money, money, money' Substack honey- trap!

    Thanks to @Coldfeet for the excellent thread title! Recap: Niomi confirmed that she reads Tattle and wishes this place didn't exist. She stated that a lot of what's written here is 'made up,' which is not true. What is true is that her 'cock worship' retreat is on Tattle for everyone to see -...
  22. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #78 In London, out Lordon

    Dear shadows of the dark, we had finally the break up confirmation... as if we needed one! https://www.hellomagazine.com/hfm/editions-february-2024/513402/niomi-smart-self-love-valentines-day/ Hope that everyone is doing fine and self loving themselves ❤ for real not like Nimbobs who spent...
  23. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #77 Jamie White is a culty creep, too nasty for even Nimbobs to keep

    My dear lovely red butterflies and shadows of the dark, (this is getting too long lol) The threads are moving so fast!! Not a long recap (you will find out why at the end). But it appears that Niomi is still on a mission of frantically erasing the existence of Lordon from her instagram without...
  24. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #76 So are we just pretending that the culty guy never happened?

    Dear shadows of the dark, we are gathered today 😁😁😁 to celebrate the ending of all our heartaches ❤, the coming to light of the dumbest of them all 🥰, the liberation of Tattle from teethy McDonky 🥳! I hereby announce the official breakup of Dumbobs and Lordon!! Oh wait.. Well yeah yeah... not...
  25. LolitaBlah

    Niomi Smart #75 Stipulations, manifestations and early morning ruminations

    Dear shadows of the dark, in this dark gloomy rainy morning, a girl named Nimbobs is wandring around in London doing some deep thinking, and we're here wonderning where the hell is Lordon and also doing some deep thinking. So much deep thinking went on in the last thread about whether they're...