I agree with you for the most part, but I’m a firm believer that people should work through their issues in order to feel confident and comfortable with themselves, as well as their values, skills and worth before relying on their partner. I’m not saying that in a « I don’t need anybody, I can handle everything on my own » kind of way, but for people like Niomi, it’s like their partner are some kind of shield protecting them from suffering. What happens then when this shield is no longer there? They find themselves lost, with no identity left, because, as we said yesterday, they gave their partner the responsibility to define them.
Again, don’t get me wrong, it’s really nice and reassuring to have a partner/friend/family member to rely on, as it probably reinforces our esteem of ourselves, but for people for Niomi, it’s like « tell me who you date, I’ll tell you who you are ».