New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for

[PrincessShark]

I’ve had the comments about making a rod for my own back etc. An old man went on at me when I took my crying baby out the seat in the trolley in Tesco, how ‘no wonder the youth of today are like they are’ then proceeded to mutter about kids having kids. I’m over 30…


My fil once said to me to put the baby down and how I was spoiling him etc. These days he tells me what a lovely, well behaved and happy 7 year old I have. I always throw it back like ‘yeah see I didn’t make a rod for my own back did I’

 

[WhatABore]

Just thought I would mark it as its a rarity. Saturday on my own, as usual with the kids.
Actually enjoyed them today.
Pushed back bedtime a bit just to spend more time with them.
Usually on a Saturday, I'm desperate for bedtime
Don't think we've had a single child cry today

 

[Belle Amie]

I love this. I get that contact naps aren’t always practical but I’ll bloody miss them when she refuses to cuddle me

Has anyone read the Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? I’ve just started it today and it is brilliant. My parents always make a big deal about the fact that they put me in my own room at two days old and tbh it makes me pretty sad to think of me as a baby alone in a cot in the dark

I’ve started reading it after someone on here mentioned it, I sound like I have a lot of time to read after mentioning the Pregnant but Screwed one but they’re all library books for the night feeds

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I’ve started reading it after someone on here mentioned it, I sound like I have a lot of time to read after mentioning the Pregnant but Screwed one but they’re all library books for the night feeds

I read loads... But only during the bedtime and night feeds (and occasionally daytime feeds if toddler is at nursery and I've remembered to bring my Kindle downstairs) - you spend a lot of time trapped under a baby! I didn't have a Kindle when I had my eldest and a backlit Kindle is such a gamechanger for my mental state selling night feeds especially, now it's almost like me time!

Also on the parents commenting thing, it is so infuriating, my mum always goes on about "you know so much about xyz, maybe sometimes it's better not to know so much? When we had you we just had the odd parenting book and no one really read them anyway". Yes, you can over research and drive yourself mad but in general how can more knowledge be a bad thing?! Maybe there's a reason I'm way shorter than I should be (poor nutrition) and why so many people in our sort of generation have mental health issues! At least we're putting in the work and unlearning and trying to break negative cycles and think a lot about how our parenting actions will affect our children, how can anyone try to tit on you for that?!

 

[Lulu Goss]

Can’t believe it. I’m in on my own tonight as Mr G has gone to watch football for the millionth time and Baby G has just fallen asleep on her bottle in my bed. This is the first time in WEEKS that bedtime hasn’t been a bleeping nightmare. We’ve been out all day today and she’s barely napped, she was really miserable at my mums because she has 3 top teeth coming through at once so it was hard work tbh, but I’ll take it if it means she’s going to stay asleep now.

I just need to work up the courage to move her from my bed to her cot

 

[LongishCat]

We're going on a short holiday tomorrow!
We've booked at a small b&b where they have some chickens, pigs and ponies, hope Kitten will enjoy looking at them
It's going to be so hot though, 30+°C every day but I'm really looking forward to it!

I brush Kitten's teeth with my finger might have to get a baby toothbrush.

Also, in case it can be interesting for anyone. I noticed Kitten wanted to chew on the metal part of her dummy chain clip. I figure because it's cold and nice for her gums?
I gave her a big metal spoon and she loves chewing it/putting it in her mouth/drooling all over it. Think I'll put one in the fridge for next time.
Obviously don't leave your bub alone with it, but Kitten really liked it!

Also, my nephew (second son for my brother) was born yesterday! My SIL was induced, because she was at 42 weeks!
But that also means Kitten is exactly 9 months older than him

 

[Trombolese]

In regards to the “making a rod for your own back” chat, I’ve had it quite a lot from older people, but nothing would ever stop me from cuddling baby T when he needs it. I could never let him cry it out, I feel such a strong responsibility as his mum to be there for him and give him all of the love and comfort in the world! My parents were fans of the cry it out method, as were their parents and I’m glad to be breaking that cycle.

in other news, in my sleep deprived state I thought it would be a good idea to squirt some baby oil into baby Ts bath this evening, but think I was really heavy handed because he was slipping everywhere and I was in a mad panic about getting him out of the bath without him sliding out of my hands, I can only compare it to wrestling with a very large slippery fish do not recommend.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I love this. I get that contact naps aren’t always practical but I’ll bloody miss them when she refuses to cuddle me

Has anyone read the Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? I’ve just started it today and it is brilliant. My parents always make a big deal about the fact that they put me in my own room at two days old and tbh it makes me pretty sad to think of me as a baby alone in a cot in the dark

I read that book when baby cucumber was a few days old and it really helped me in a dark place. It also made me make some decisions about my parenting that I hope I'm able to stick by. I think I'll revisit it again when he's a little older.

 

[LittleBluebird]

Here’s a really stupid questionhow are y’all reading during breastfeeding? Kindles or paperbacks? I’d love to read during breastfeeding but can’t seem to figure out how to hold baby & a book. Granted, I’ve only been doing this for barely 3 weeks so .
I tried listening to an audiobook last night and might stick with that until I get a handle on flailing arms and holding her.

Id like to keep up with my Tattle book club books, even though I’m still 60 pages into july’s book

 

[TheDuchess]

Honestly I think people will always say it. Tommy is nearly 6 months and I still hear it, it's worse now actually because now it's just morphed into "it won't ever get better!". You cannot spoil a baby and you most certainly cannot give them too much love of all things! Honestly I think people just say it to justify it to themselves that they didn't give their babies the amount of comfort they required and they feel guilty. Easier to just say other people are soft than admit you were a bit hard!

i think you have hit the nail on the head there!

I don’t get it too often but when I do it’s from older people. My mum almost gets all offended and huffy when I explain that things are done differently now. I have tried to say that they weren’t doing anything wrong at the time but things have moved on and more research has been done to show a better approach. She just huffs and says well it never did you any harm.

 

[Borntorun]

@LittleBluebird I have the kindle app on my phone. I can’t handle a dead tree book while bf, and I never remember to put my kindle within arms reach. So phone app it is

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Here’s a really stupid questionhow are y’all reading during breastfeeding? Kindles or paperbacks? I’d love to read during breastfeeding but can’t seem to figure out how to hold baby & a book. Granted, I’ve only been doing this for barely 3 weeks so .
I tried listening to an audiobook last night and might stick with that until I get a handle on flailing arms and holding her.

Id like to keep up with my Tattle book club books, even though I’m still 60 pages into july’s book

Kindle all the way, paperbacks are too hard! I think also it just takes a bit of practice and you need to be feeling confident with feeding and past the stage where you're checking the latch all the time and you know it's well established etc.

 

[Belle Amie]

Here’s a really stupid questionhow are y’all reading during breastfeeding? Kindles or paperbacks? I’d love to read during breastfeeding but can’t seem to figure out how to hold baby & a book. Granted, I’ve only been doing this for barely 3 weeks so .
I tried listening to an audiobook last night and might stick with that until I get a handle on flailing arms and holding her.

Id like to keep up with my Tattle book club books, even though I’m still 60 pages into july’s book

Library app on my phone, I love my paperbacks but I feed next to my partner and he’d kill me if I had a light on to read at 3am then I’d be the knobwaffle

 

[jackolantern]

i think you have hit the nail on the head there!

I don’t get it too often but when I do it’s from older people. My mum almost gets all offended and huffy when I explain that things are done differently now. I have tried to say that they weren’t doing anything wrong at the time but things have moved on and more research has been done to show a better approach. She just huffs and says well it never did you any harm.

The rates of millennial anxiety and depression would say otherwise

 

[I’mThankyou_]

You know what I'm sick of?
Pink tax.
Things costing more because they're marketed for girls or women.
A pack of three boys baby grows £6. Unisex £7. Girls? £9+
Boys megablocks £13. Girls megablocks £20 just because they're pink.
like who do I complain too, its too many individual complaints. I'm really sick of it.
I dont believe in all the blue for boys pink for girls shite. The twins have many items of clothes from the boys section, but what pisses me off is that because it's marketed toward the female market its okay to have a higher profit margin? No. Not today. I've just spent a fortune on new vests in Tescos because all the boys and unisex ones were sold out and with twins and I don't have the time nor paitentce to get rid of the stains nor have I got endless hours to spend on my washing mountain basket.
That's my rant of the day. I'm off to see where I complain to one singular person rather than a bunch of fools.

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

i think you have hit the nail on the head there!

I don’t get it too often but when I do it’s from older people. My mum almost gets all offended and huffy when I explain that things are done differently now. I have tried to say that they weren’t doing anything wrong at the time but things have moved on and more research has been done to show a better approach. She just huffs and says well it never did you any harm.

Ah yes… my mum uses that one too. I mean, I have absolutely no memories of my mum until I was 12 but go off Susan tell me I’m fine

I really don’t understand this obsession with babies being ‘independent’ - sleeping by themselves, not ever needing comfort or support etc. Theyre only little for such a short period, why are we rushing them to grow up from the minute they’re born?

One mum at baby group constantly goes on about how she leaves her baby to cry unless she’s hungry because ‘she needs to learn some independence because I won’t always be there’, and I just think… imagine spending 9 months growing a baby inside you, nurturing it and keeping it safe, going through birth and then not even wanting to comfort them when they’re sad

 

[TheDuchess]

The rates of millennial anxiety and depression would say otherwise

Yup! It honestly baffles & amazes me when folk want to have a pop at me about just holding my baby. I’ll just keep on doing what we are doing with my little bub whilst she lets me hold her

Has anyone noticed if you get more unsolicited “advice” when your baby is in the pushchair part of the pram but facing outwards rather than towards you? Little miss is still facing towards me atm but just wondered if the amount of nosey Nellies increases when people can actually see more of your baby in the pram?

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

You know what I'm sick of?
Pink tax.
Things costing more because they're marketed for girls or women.
A pack of three boys baby grows £6. Unisex £7. Girls? £9+
Boys megablocks £13. Girls megablocks £20 just because they're pink.
like who do I complain too, its too many individual complaints. I'm really sick of it.
I dont believe in all the blue for boys pink for girls shite. The twins have many items of clothes from the boys section, but what pisses me off is that because it's marketed toward the female market its okay to have a higher profit margin? No. Not today. I've just spent a fortune on new vests in Tescos because all the boys and unisex ones were sold out and with twins and I don't have the time nor paitentce to get rid of the stains nor have I got endless hours to spend on my washing mountain basket.
That's my rant of the day. I'm off to see where I complain to one singular person rather than a bunch of fools.

Yes! It's so frustrating! Also clothes sizing, there is no real difference in the size of a 3 year old boy vs girl for example (I mean officially, when you look at the charts in a red book and things), differences don't kick in until they are much older and yet girls clothes are cut smaller, skimpier and generally less suitable for vigorous play, it's infuriating.

 

[TheDuchess]

One mum at baby group constantly goes on about how she leaves her baby to cry unless she’s hungry because ‘she needs to learn some independence because I won’t always be there’

I can understand trying to teach teenagers to be more independent so that they can survive in the world but doing that to a young baby is bloody awful!

They really are so young and little for such a short period of time, I can’t understand not wanting to nurture your child.

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

I can understand trying to teach teenagers to be more independent so that they can survive in the world but doing that to a young baby is bloody awful!

They really are so young and little for such a short period of time, I can’t understand not wanting to nurture your child.

Bear in mind their baby is 2 weeks older than baby o. I initially thought she meant just at night but it’s in the day too. Poor kid is trying to crawl and will get frustrated/overwhelmed/overstimulated or just a bit grumpy like babies too and this mum will leave her lying on the floor crying while she carries on chatting like ‘oh don’t mind her, just being a drama queen as per’