The blueberries in the deely boppers are the real MVPsThe birthday one is elite level though. He has good taste
New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for
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Little cat makes the funniest noise when she’s crawling. It’s like a cross between a donkey and a hack saw
At what point do people stop telling me because I can’t put the baby down that she’s spoilt? Every single time I see my mum, she makes a point repeatedly telling me she’s spoilt. I don’t know how I’ve kept my cool so long. But it’s really starting to bother me. If she isn’t saying how spoilt she is, she’s constantly commenting on how she looks, she never says anything bad but it almost comes across negative to me? It all could be hormones but it bothers me so much
Honestly I think people will always say it. Tommy is nearly 6 months and I still hear it, it's worse now actually because now it's just morphed into "it won't ever get better!". You cannot spoil a baby and you most certainly cannot give them too much love of all things! Honestly I think people just say it to justify it to themselves that they didn't give their babies the amount of comfort they required and they feel guilty. Easier to just say other people are soft than admit you were a bit hard!
The worst for me is they expect to sit down and hold him like a 2 day old who lies there in silence (to take their selfies). Then they get annoyed at me because they actually have to put some effort in. Give him back then and duck off
It's not just hormones, you are totally valid in how you feel. I'm sorry your mum is making you feel this way
People can be so insensitive.
People still say it to me now and Everleigh is 16?
months.Because she doesn't like people and clings to me. Or screams if someone talks to her that she doesn't know. So I comfort her.
And I get told I'm spoiling her
I had an old woman the other day start talking to Everleigh in the pushchair and I said she isn't very confident with people she doesn't know.
Old woman proceeded to get in Everleigh's face. So Everleigh starts screaming. Got her out the pushchair and the woman tutted and was like "Wow. No wonder she's like that if that's what you're like with her. Spoiling her"
I don't think they do. My cousin still likes to tell me my 9 year old is spoilt because he'll always come for a random cuddle. And her son is 7 and won't hug her. She's tried to say it about the twins several times too, so I just snap back now that you can't spoil a child, holding them is protecting and comforting them and that's why they find you when they need you.
I think I'm just going to start saying to people, babies who don't get enough love and cuddles, turn into stoney-faced cows like you, so that's why he gets all the love he wants, not imposing that fate on him
I've had this with both my children, comments from both sides of the family about spoiling them by letting them contact nap or going to them when they cry. With my first I let it bother me, this time round I dont give two shits about anyones opinion. I'll be there for my kids if they need me, and I'll hold them if they need it even if they are grown adults. I am their mum ill never deny them the comfort they need from me.
I've also had the apperance comments, my daughter has beautiful long hair which she wears in plaits all the time for school so when she's not at school if she says she wants it down I leave it down. MIL makes a point every single time she sees her about how she needs it cut or that it needs to go in a pony tail. She has it cut regularly just trimmed not all cut off. I polilitley but firmly tell her its my daughters hair and I'm not going to make her do anything to it she doesn't want to do.
Sometimes you have to just firmly say that whatever you are doing is right for you, dont have to be confrontation but just firm. Unfortunately there will allways be people who have to have their say
but its your choice on if you take in on board or not
My mum said this to me so much at the start, I told her she didn’t hold me enough and that’s why I have depression, anxiety and popped antidepressants like smarties. She soon stopped.
You can’t spoil a baby by holding them ‘too much!’ Back in cave man days you’d never put your baby down or they’d be ate by an animal so why should you have to now just because that risk has gone. Continue holding your baby as much as you feel necessary for you both!
Honestly it's the best feeling in the world being your baby's safe space. When they are upset and they wrap their little arms around you and just melt into a snuffly cuddle and fall asleep. There is no greater joy or purpose to me than when your pet or baby sleeps soundly knowing they are safe and loved. I wouldn't trade that for a screaming baby, feeling scared and alone just so I can have more time hands free. I just don't get it. Who the duck can honestly relax and god forbid, sleep! with that going on? Even if he did cry himself to sleep eventually, I'd be in knots and wouldn't sleep a wink knowing how badly I made him feel. I'd take a lifetime of broken sleep if it meant he was happy.
I love this. I get that contact naps aren’t always practical but I’ll bloody miss them when she refuses to cuddle me
Has anyone read the Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? I’ve just started it today and it is brilliant. My parents always make a big deal about the fact that they put me in my own room at two days old and tbh it makes me pretty sad to think of me as a baby alone in a cot in the dark
Two days oldI love this. I get that contact naps aren’t always practical but I’ll bloody miss them when she refuses to cuddle me
Has anyone read the Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? I’ve just started it today and it is brilliant. My parents always make a big deal about the fact that they put me in my own room at two days old and tbh it makes me pretty sad to think of me as a baby alone in a cot in the dark
People boast about getting their babes in their own rooms so early and I'm just like, that's really not the flex you think it is.
My mum always says I slept through the night from two days old. Then when my eldest was about six months old and still waking hourly I asked her more questions and it turned out she put me to sleep in the back bedroom as I made too much noiseTwo days old
so I suspect I didn’t sleep through at all and she just didn’t hear meWe brought this up ages ago as my Mum said we used to sleep through from an early age. Turns out she used to give us some stuff to make us sleepMy mum always says I slept through the night from two days old. Then when my eldest was about six months old and still waking hourly I asked her more questions and it turned out she put me to sleep in the back bedroom as I made too much noise
Apparently it was common back then
Can't remember the name of it
Phenergan (edited after googling
)
I’ve just been tit on
I was relatively young when I had my first and we had to stay at my mums for a month or so and I remember he was 4ish months old and used to contact nap. She made a few comments about it, along the lines of making a rod for my own back and spoiling him etc, so the next day I put him down to fall asleep on his own and he was okay the first time I did it but the following day he cried and cried. I went to him after a while and contact napped because it was what I knew worked but my confidence as a mum was knocked and I genuinely believed that was it, he’d never be able to sleep without me etc and I cried and cried all evening. I was genuinely hysterical, looking back it was a bit dramatic but I thought I’d failed my baby. We carried on contact napping until he was ready to go to sleep by himself and at bedtime now my husband still lays with him until he falls asleep.
I feel so guilty that I let him cry that day, I was his mum and he needed me but I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.
Listening to him cry didn’t make me feel good about myself, I didn’t get loads of other stuff done either. I just sat listening to him cry feeling guilty
I feel so guilty that I let him cry that day, I was his mum and he needed me but I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.
Listening to him cry didn’t make me feel good about myself, I didn’t get loads of other stuff done either. I just sat listening to him cry feeling guilty
YES this is the story my mum repeats too! I was too noisy, yet then somehow miraculously slept through the night every night after thatMy mum always says I slept through the night from two days old. Then when my eldest was about six months old and still waking hourly I asked her more questions and it turned out she put me to sleep in the back bedroom as I made too much noise
oh and they always knew why I was crying hahahahaIs it too early to declare this the next thread title?!
I’ve just also had a go at my mum (I know I shouldn’t have, but I just couldn’t help myself) for force feeding the baby and shoving food into her mouth 
poor thing was turning her head to try and avoid the spoon. Then she’s just called her ‘greedy’ for grabbing a handful of crisps straight out of the bag, as if babies have the capacity for that…honestly, it makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do about it as she doesn’t listen to me!
poor thing was turning her head to try and avoid the spoon. Then she’s just called her ‘greedy’ for grabbing a handful of crisps straight out of the bag, as if babies have the capacity for that…honestly, it makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do about it as she doesn’t listen to me!I strongly suspect this is what most boomers mean when they say their babies were in their own rooms so early on!My mum always says I slept through the night from two days old. Then when my eldest was about six months old and still waking hourly I asked her more questions and it turned out she put me to sleep in the back bedroom as I made too much noise
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