New baby and post birth advice #28 being a mum is the best present I could have ever wished for

[jackolantern]

I've hit a new low. Tommy was lying face down on my chest and vomited all over my neck, I mean bad enough in itself right? Well let me tell you I panicked because these days I have more chins than is socially decent to count and my neck rolls could rival that of Ursula. So, I knew gravity wasn't my friend here and I was about to have some serious sick roll storage. I was frantically trying to find his bib for moppage, while condensing my rolls like an accordian and FOR SOME INSANE REASON I held the vomit overlord above my head. Turns out the movement and stomach pressure meant my ordeal wasn't quite over. Did he vomit on my face you ask? No.

He
vomited
in
my
MOUTH.

So naturally, I heaved and projectiled it back out of my mouth, so now not only do I have sick in my neck. I have twice brewed sick.

Tommy, you have out Tommy'd yourself son.

 

[PrincessShark]

I was due to go back to work in October but really didn’t want to go back to the same place, they promoted someone what I was doing before but they are getting paid more, new job title and I’m really annoyed I wasn’t considered for the promotion, I’ve been doing kit days and my smp doesn’t finishing until January but I was always helping out so it made sense to go back earlier.
Anyway I applied for a higher position at a different company, guess who bagged the job they said I can hold off for as long as I’m ready, it’s almost double my salary for less hours.

I’m buzzing (and can totally justify the fact I’ve just ordered a new car )

 

[Dipdab]

Just opening my blinds expecting to see flying pigs and unicorns because I must be dreaming right now. Both babies slept 12 hours solid at the same time (no wake ups at all) for the first time ever and I slept for 9 hours. What the actual?? is this what it feels like to wake up well rested and refreshed and not need 5 espressos by 7am. Is this how I used to feel in the mornings pre babies? Is this a one off treat or do I now add “Infant sleep expert” to my insta bio ?

 

[Definitelyme]

I mean I can't see you living in the Northern Ireland equivalent of MossSide, I'd imagine where you're based is probably slightly rural?!
People baffle me
Get on a plane, have a Guinness and spend 3 weeks soaking up some culture man!

An actual pic of me walking the kids to school

 

[calmyourritas]

My birthday is coming up and I was kind of looking forward to being able to go out for a few hours, have a couple of drinks with some friends….

Just mentioned it to Mr Rita and he’s said he’s working that weekend now (he had originally booked it off as we were supposed to be going on honeymoon and I didn’t realise he’d cancelled his holidays). He said he’ll try and get one of the days off but I doubt he will be able to tbh.

I’m disappointed, but then I feel really guilty for being disappointed that I’m not able to have a few hours to myself and enjoy a few cocktails to celebrate my birthday. It just feels like his life hasn’t really changed at all, he still does all the things he did before, whereas mine is completely different. He goes out all the time doing stuff for himself and has time for all these hobbies and a social life. He just goes and does it, there’s no “is it okay if…” it’s just “I’m going here.” If I want to do something on my own I have to ask and book about 4 months in advance. Don’t get me wrong I love my new life and I love being a mum so much but it’s just made me feel a bit shit.

and now I feel guilty because this isn’t even a real problem compared to what some of you have I’m so sorry

 

[Babyyoda88]

Sorry I’ve missed the old thread!
@LongishCat I’m so so sorry to hear about your FIL! I’ve been thinking of you all. what a terrible time. Lots of love to the Longish cats!

@bottombanana thanks! How are you guys?
You summed up MIL perfectly. She’s not been too bad actually because she’s getting days in the week where she’s baby sitting so she’s backed off. Still makes the odd comment but nothing like it was.

two days til baby’s birthday and we have lots of nice things planned over the whole weekend which I’m looking forward to but with everything that happened with her birth and NICU stay also approaching a year ago gives me anxiety. I’ve spent the year just telling myself “she shouldn’t have been born till October” and I’m wondering at what point I just get over it.

Hope everyone’s ok! Worlds gone a bit crazy hasn’t it. So I’m probably going to have to start selling some organs to afford the nursery costs but that’s alright isn’t it.

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

just doing a bit of emotional dumping, don’t mind me…

Just sat on my bed having a little cry. Not sure why but I just feel sad today. I’m so tired and burned out, I woke up this morning thinking how much I’d love to just have a day off - I wish I had someone close by I could leave her with for a few hours so I could get some headspace. She’s pretty chill compared to a lot of babies but I just need to switch my brain off for a bit.I don’t think I was prepared for how exhausting it is just constantly being ‘on’ 24 hours a day.

 

[Borntorun]

Glam-ma has out done herself today. After months of dealing with bridezilla for her upcoming wedding… I’ve discovered via Facebook that she ran away to Gretna Green and got married earlier in the week

 

[I’mThankyou_]

Ive had enough of being a mum today, twin 2 has only taken 7ozs of milk all day. She's pulled her NG tube out 3 times before ive even started a feed
Shes had 3 meals. I just worry its not enough, she won't drink anything recently
I can't even feed her whilst she's asleep because trying to NG a sleeping baby is like wrestling a lion when you're covered in meat
This sounds so selfish, but I absolutely despise that she's not "okay" I hate life because of it.

 

[I’mThankyou_]

I have two daughters, they can marry two tattle sons. The boy can marry a tattle daughter, I will be the best MIL to the tattle children. come forth my children
I have cake.

 

[onlyheretoorbit]

Thanks everyone for your nappy and feeding tips.

Having a bit of a rubbish day today. Took baby o out to this ‘play in the park’ event that the childrens centre were advertising. I did text a few of the mums from baby group but they were busy, but I figured it’s only a little park I’ll just go on my own.

Yeah it was like a massive festival event with music blasting and loads of big kid activities like rock climbing etc..sounds silly but I just felt really overwhelmed and anxious and I felt so silly being on my own. The childrens centre had a tent with some sensory bits for babies but it was packed so I just awkwardly went off and sat under a tree and tried to calm down.

One of the staff from the centre recognised me and came over and she helped me find a spot in the tent for baby to play. Only stayed half an hour as it was so hot and I didn’t bring any drinks and I didn’t have cash for the food van. But I did manage to feed baby o her lunch on the grass, which I’ve never done before - I only give her solids at home.

Anyway, came home and got a call to say I didn’t get the job I interviewed for on Monday. Gutted as it was my dream job and now I’m faced with the reality of going back to my current job.

Sirry, just needed somewhere to offload

 

[Littleelf]

KW swanned off on an impromptu afternoon at the pub so I'm left here with both kids. Baby elf has refused to nap since 11 so he is MISERABLE. Trying to sort out some food for the 5yo one handed as he won't let me put him down. 5yo demanding all sorts, everytime I come out the kitchen shes asking for a drink, some sauce or whatever and I'm straight back in. Baby elf has definitely eaten cat food today everytime I blink hes at the bloody bowl! Now attempting to run a bath for the kids with a screaming overtired baby hanging off me.

KW just messaged to say hes "having a blinder" so staying out I'm mean ffs I haven't seen anybody accept my kids for months but okay mate carry on drink up get another round in dont worry about me

 

[Borntorun]

I mean if we’re talking grandparents … my kids are blessed with Glam-ma and Grandparent who despite neither of them having a job both said they wouldn’t have Toddler Runner while I was in labour so my husband stayed with her while I gave birth alone

Happy birthday @jackolantern I hope no one vomits in your mouth today

 

[Pink Octopus]

Hello!

After breaking my lurker status over on the toddler advice thread I thought I would say hello here as I have a 3.5 month old son as well as my 3 year old daughter. I have enjoyed reading this thread, so much good advice is given along with the hilarious stories! Hoping to now join in instead of just reading!

 

[wakametango 2.0]

Visited baby wakas nursery today ready for her start next week and I cried. I fucking cried about her starting nursery in the baby room in front of babies and adults FFS

 

[Celeste]

I've just been doing exactly the same @Dipdab

I'm feeling really resentful of my parents tonight. They insisted on visiting when baby was 3 days old even though I was recovering from a C-section. I asked them to consider waiting til the following weekend but they got upset. So they only saw us for maybe 4 hours as it was all just too much. They live 400 miles away so it was a long way for them to come for so little time.

That was 8 weeks ago. Not seen them since. Mum has gone on and on about missing him, crying on the phone etc. She had 2 weeks of annual leave left to take but they've decided to have their 3rd holiday abroad this year, rather than coming to see their grandson. I won't hear from her for days and then I'll get a message demanding a "live" photo. Tonight she randomly asked if she could have a photo of him to post on her Facebook (I suppose at least she asks first...). When they came it was like a bloody press conference, she was uploading to her social media all day. Now I've got my dad messaging me asking if he's sleeping through the night yet?! And saying how they didn't have bath seats in their day and they "only" dropped me under the water once.

They are such a weird mix of over-bearing and not giving a shit and it's really getting to me. I had the most wonderful relationship with my grandparents growing up and I just know it's not going to be the same for him. Sorry, just needed to write all of that down!

 

[calmyourritas]

Had a dream we all went on a Tattle coach trip. How weird that your brain can make up you think people look like Can’t remember much but the weird head thing from the knight bus in Harry Potter was the driver (see picture) and there was also an aquarium on the bus in which we could put the babies.

In case you can’t tell I had cheese with my dinner.

 

[LilyRose1234]

I always sing and dance with the baby to “can’t take my eyes off you” and as she’s got older she giggles when I do it, but today was cooking dinner and she was minding her own business ignoring the music (playing with recycling ) and when it came on she shrieked and crawled over and started dancing

 

[jackolantern]

Ive had enough of being a mum today, twin 2 has only taken 7ozs of milk all day. She's pulled her NG tube out 3 times before ive even started a feed
Shes had 3 meals. I just worry its not enough, she won't drink anything recently
I can't even feed her whilst she's asleep because trying to NG a sleeping baby is like wrestling a lion when you're covered in meat
This sounds so selfish, but I absolutely despise that she's not "okay" I hate life because of it.

It isn't selfish at all. Not even one bit. Lets be brutally honest here, noone on earth would wish for a child with any sort of difficulties, physical or mental - because life is already bloody hard enough! That doesn't mean you don't love the bones off T2 or that you aren't an amazing mum. You very clearly are. It's human to feel that way and so fucking brave to admit it. You've all been dealt a shitty fucking hand and it isn't fair and anyone who expects you to feel otherwise is in denial and frankly, a cunt. I challenge anyone to walk in your shoes and not feel the same. Despite all this, you constantly do your best and show up for that little girl which is more selflessness and love than many folk can muster in a whole lifetime! Nevermind with other babes and a partner who works away from home. You are an absolute fucking superstar. Don't ever forget it and don't ever feel guilty for the hard times. Resent as much as you need to and vent as much as you can. That little girl knows how much you love her, none of this changes that.

 

[Littleelf]

I mean if we’re talking grandparents … my kids are blessed with Glam-ma and Grandparent who despite neither of them having a job both said they wouldn’t have Toddler Runner while I was in labour so my husband stayed with her while I gave birth alone

Happy birthday @jackolantern I hope no one vomits in your mouth today

How about my mum who refused to have 4yo while I was induced but wouldn't let me be alone as KW stayed with her so stayed at the hospital while I gave birth...but sat as far away as she could in the room, sipping her thermos of tea and watched me while I was pushing for two hours