I completely agree with all your valid points.
I certainly do not condone aggressive threats towards either gender especially when you are Influencers and running a yt channel.
As far as him being a misogynist, was he one before he met her? That is something none of us can answer and they would both run rings around a therapist on that one.
Yes he looks after the money because she can barely read, can't spell and I would imagine if she looked after the finances it would be catastrophic. She wears the trousers in that house and I don't think he has had much say in the matter.
Yes she is desensitised to his comments because I see her inciting rage in people. She does it all the time on LW to the point where colleagues leave their job. She's laughing at him, not laughing it off, because she knows he wouldn't swat a fly. He's a wimp, with no backbone and she has zero respect for him. She just keeps him around for fear of being left with herself.
Mark: "I just want to punch myself repeatedly in the head." This was taken from bitterntwisted's brilliant synopsis of today's Coffee Moaning. If my partner said something like that I would enquire, 'Why would you want to do that darling? She did not.
"Also lets be honest its only women that he directs thoose kind of comments towards?"
I genuinely can't be honest Misbehaving about whether he only directs that kind of comment towards women, because I have rarely seen him in the company of men that he has spent long periods of time with.
I do know, and have witnessed that men can be very badly abused as well as women.
They are both aggressively abusive towards each other and it is becoming more and more disturbing to watch, they think it normal, it is not. They are on an express train heading straight for a brick wall.
They both have arrested development. Hers age 4, his 7-9? They swing between adult and child so much it is hard to catch them in a balanced state.
They play The Crocodile with the ticking Clock and Captain Hook 24/7, swapping the roles. It is Peter Pan, yet Peter and Wendy are nowhere to be seen; because they have no magic, innocence or meaning to their lives, therefore they will not accept that everyone has to grow up, but, we can all still love and play with our inner child.
He was wrong to say it to her, he was also wrong to say it towards himself.
I just wanted to say that i know you don't condone violent threats and i hope you didn't think that i was implying that no not at all.
I do think though that he is not careful about the language and the behaviour he uses around women though.
Making threats overtly sexualising women scaring them with masks bringing up his unhappy childhood and basically gaslighting his mother so that she is beholden to him forever more.
I must say that for me he holds a masterclass in how to hold a grudge where he clings onto pain and the bad acts that others have commited against him and stores them away for future reference?
I find that highly disturbing as he is himself a prisoner of his own mind and also seeks to remind others of this fact.
Keeping score not letting go living in the past its all very murky and unhealthy.
Its not just that he threatened to punch her for me its also that he claimed that he felt that way throughout lockdown.
So his rage is a constant boiling away on the backburner...its sick and distressing at the same time.
Its smacks like you said of self punishment but also the urge to punish others?
So in a sense he is judge jury and executioner all rolled into one but as painful as that is...really he should be asking hinself truthfully for example have i also contributed to this situation?
He could also ask himself if he wanted to with brutal clarity what is it in me then that is attracted to unhealthy relationships what is it in me that won't let go either of resentment or things that have broken down and if he was feeling really brave he could ask himself as well how am i acting in a way that amounts to self sabotage....?
He could very well have been abused in his life but the older i get the more i see that actually one way or another that includes most of us?
Life cannot just be tit for tat though to ease that pain sure he might feel better for the moment like that but in the long run it will just add to the ever growing black pit of despair/anger that he has on the inside.
In other words he might show symptoms of pain or anger but as we all know he is not getting down to the root cause of it and the really scary thing to me is that he doesn't show much interest in getting real about what really motivates him to act like that.
Mental health can be a constant battle to gain balance and perspective for some but i don't see him making that effort to be honest.
I just see him being reactionary and thats no good for anyone.