Coffee Moaning Saturday and Nads is wearing her Diets not Riots toque as we call it over here. List of people to get a welcome song is recited. Mark and Nads have done their walk and run this morning and they are feeling good. (Look out world!
) So Mark tells us that he was standing in queue socially distanced (here where Nads points out the socially distancing part and Mark says that's for if an annoying person happens to make comment) waiting for his hot chocolate. Nads whilst running, would put her scarf to cover her mouth, but people were apparently taking offence. Mark proceeds to demonstrate. Runners were breathing on her scarf, so she may inadvertently be putting the breathed on part of her scarf on her face. (Did you get that?) "I just want to go out for a walk without thinking about this effin virus. I want to walk in a forest, in a field, on a beach, on a cliff, anywhere" (Off a cliff
) Mark says he saw 4 blobs of gob in the park. Nads:"Are you still wearing your shoes?" Gross. Nadia want punishment for males gobbing everywhere. "Take away their phones, the iPAD, the Nintendo whateveritis." A chatter's (Chrissie) husband has passed away of COVID.
Nads: "We should really do a film on grief." Marks was going through mementos from Jim. Mark says he hates platitudes. Of course you do. Brits don't go death/grief well. "Everyone assumes when somebody has lost somebody, the last thing you want is someone bringing it up." More chat about Mark's father figure Jim. Mark shows us a gift he gave to Jim, a male glass syringe. Mark: "It's for the male anatomy, what do you think that is for?" The look on Nads face, teeth clenched looking at the object. "I don't want to talk about it."
Down your penis apparently. Nads with a sour expression: "Well, I'm so glad you showed us that."
So, Mark would buy him weird things and vice versa. Apparently, Jim is to blame for Mark's penchant for entering the room with something stupid over his head.
Faith Goodman wants some pics of their kitchen before the makeover.
Chatter mentions she buried her mum last week, no embalming because the body is still contagious. This leads to the mention of"It's a Sin," parallels with today and COVID. "Check this out guys." Mark proceeds to show some card containing his aura (had it done in Sedona), it is RED. Nads leaves to go tie up her hair. "What colour would you say that is, red, dark red, pink or light red?" Nads says yes. Shouts across the room. Chatters: Fuschia, red, vibrant red. Says he is a hands on healer and singing happens. "Which means just one thing." Can you guess? Yes, he proceeds to place his hands on Nads' boobs.
MAAARRKK!!! "Oh I thought it said hands on feeler." (That was so funny I forgot to laugh
) Cuddling. Happy Birthday to Steph Coleman. Cerise pink? (aura colour again) "Magenta is more purple isn't it?"
Oh uh, Mark gets all teacher-like telling us it is Saturday and the decs are coming down. Nads: "The place is such a
bleeping tip." Mark: "Do you have to swear?" Tonight they are doing fake restaurant, NANDO'S TONIGHT. Mark will be .......EDITING today and Nads will be tidying up. Tree vlog.
News chat. Jab gap dispute. BMA says they don't have the data and Pfizer doesn't not recommend it. (Christ, does anyone know what they are doing?) No fast departure from where we are at. Europe is in a tailspin, not enough vaccine. Nads: "Is it just a European thing, go in slow-mo?" What? Supply is an issue everywhere. Huge number of care home workers not getting the jab. Chat about employment/unemployment. Photos of Heathrow with returning crowds. (Where are these people going?) Nads: We are going to have to go the way of Wuhan. BMA official: Stop the flights. Gov't won't tell how much vaccine there is due to security. WTF?
Nads question: "What is your least favourite pandemic word. Nads: Variant. Mark: Zoom. Nads "Mine was unpredented times for ages, but I kind of miss it." Susan says lockdown. Sonia says pandemic. Liz Jab. Someone said tier. Mutation: Nads does an interpretation of mutating virus. "They got the finger things that stick to us!" Mark says we need to re-appropriate words. Superspreader-think of toast. Variant-varied diet. Self-isolate-soak in a bath. N question "What is your favourite word, your favourite way to describe what is going on at the moment?" Phone consultation, next slide please, pubs shut, moving forward (hate that), home learning, PPE. Nads"Someone says the diriest words right now are homeschooling, its so sad. What they are doing is not homeschooling." (What? The kids are home, they are doing their schooling ergo, they are homeschooling.
Stop being some precious about it.) Bubble... cue the singing of I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles
. Press conference, flatten the curve, steamed up glasses. Boris: The London, Kent variant is more dangerous, but the current vaccines are effective, BUT most of the 5 million haven't been vaccinated (2nd dose). Mark: "I just want to punch myself repeatedly in the head."
(now you know how we feel) Nads fiddles with her hair, says "someone was doing boxercise in the park, may be we should get a pair of those, why don't we just do it?" Mark:"Can I punch you? I wanted to punch you all through lockdown." Nads: "My hair is so annoying." Mark: "That was a terrible thing to say, I didn't mean that. "
(Nothing to see here folks.) Nads: "Why don't we buy a punch bag?" (Another piece of crap that will end up in the teen's room or the garden.)
Okay now Brexit is not working as well as they's like us to think (yes, because you would have got that birthing thingy from the Netherlands if it were) Mark question: Is anyone else finding there is virtually no food on the shelves? Nads screaches "
Really?!?" 
Andrew asks if there was any toilet paper?
"I'm literally going in and it is threadbare." Nads pulls her mask out of her bra.
Mark is all: So you know those little supermarkets in tourist areas like in Portugal, where they have 1 pack of TUC biscuits, a tub of Nutella, a bottle of tequila, (Nads interjects random dry cheese), none of it is attractive... ARE YOU PICTURING IT? YOU SURE NOW?
"COS THAT IS WHAT ITS LIKE IN OUR SAINSBURY'S, NO VARIETY OF CHOICES." And Nads says "Reeaaleee?" Someone comments that they can't get a cucumber. Another says they couldn't buy veg in M&S yesterday. Nads: "No icing sugar? Oh no." Helen Fatherly "Is this you fun talk." Mark "
THIS IS US, AT OUR FUNEST! Yeah this if fun chat, fun talk." Nads starts squishing her face with her hands like plastercine. (Yes, it is that bad.) Nads: "We need to do our singing now, it's midday." Mark suggests they film their commute to work from upstairs to the kitchen table. (And you thought the lowest they would get was taking down the Xmas tree?) M: "So if you want to feel like you are at Glastonbury, go to Heathrow."
Any celeb news. Oh look at that pic of Boris! He is sitting down with his hand on his face.
"Ooh, what is that mark on his arm, it looks like he has fallen down. He's had the most
tit time. Be careful what you wish for, he wanted to be ruler of the world when he was 6 years old." Mark wants to give him a hug. Nads feels sorry for him. Bernie Sanders memes. Mark "But are we laughing at an old man sitting on his own?" I don't think Bernies gives a rat's arse. Nanny Di lookalike at the Inauguration. You can judge the size of someone's head by how big the mask looks. Nads plugs Dina's Instagram new Art by Box out, discount. Mark asks where the pen has gone. Nads pulls it out of her hair. "What else have you got in there? " Nads puts on the mask that was in her bra. M:"Once I found my keys in your bra. (His material is wanting.) Nads (about the masks): They are really comfy. She then proceeds to wipe her hands over the mask!
BLOODY HELL WOMAN! Where Sarah Beeton is, it is snowing. Nads says "I fancy some snow. I said to Kiki I would feel like we were in a different country if we had snow."
Someone says we could do with a quiz. Mark: You're right we are going to do a quiz, we need to do a quiz. Chatter just came back from somewhere, was in Heathrow and NONE of the male border control officers were wearing masks!
Stinking thinking t-shirts, yes I will do that today says Nads. Mick Norcross chat. Marks asks when are you going to do my hair? Nads:"I have to get the scissors don't I?" (GET IT TOGETHER!) Mark: Get anything, get a knife.
Nads will check Amazon. (Oh just use the dog clippers, won't be much difference
) Nads: "Right, okay, sooo this is the ... Mark: Hang on, HIT THE THUMBS UP if you have enjoyed this, if you don't want to join us in singing or Nadia mangling your names
I would head off now. Subcribe. On that note, go for it Nads. Subscribe, hit the bell. Singing starts only to be interupted by
Maddie cuz PATRICK GOT INTO BRISTOL! "Aww great news, we will have some hot chocolate to celebrate." Nads "Aww and we love Bristol." Singing continues..."We were quite good then, almost professional."
Toffee wants out
. Mark tries to snap Nads' bra. "
MARK DON'T DO THAT!" Oh so, members this Sunday Lisa Loves section. Lots of love, especially to Chrissie. BYEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I noticed that Nadia continues to film herself long after this timestamp - it reminded me of the live where Mark said they do things all the more if they know people dislike it. Poor girl doesn't want to be on camera so Nadia does it deliberately.
