Mumsnet #5 Cancel the cheque

[SpindleWhorl]

They all like to make out they're super chic and fashionable and either live in a desirable corner of London or very rurally in deepest darkest Surrey, look down on brands even Farrow & Ball. But I remember there was a thread where they were all posting pics of their bedrooms and most looked like a Habitat store from the 90s had thrown up in them

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

It’s like when a poster comes in and says ‘DH is really letting me down, I’m shattered and doing all the night wakings and all the housework by myself and he spends all his free time at the gym’

and without fail there’ll be a poster that says ‘at least you have a husband. Mine Is DEAD. I had to bring up our baby twins alone. I’d love a husband who was alive enough to go to the gym’

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

They all get so would up about normal life stuff! Yesterday there was a poster who was worried about ‘how’ you take your baby on a train. What if you have to collapse your buggy? You can’t hold your baby and do it one handed! You obviously can’t get anyone to hold your baby, because they might be a kiddy fiddler or a toxic MIL or have an invisible coldsore. WHAT DO YOU DOOOOOO?!

although it did make me laugh when a poster piped up scathingly, ‘I don’t know about anyone else but at 13 months mine were WALKING. They could easily support themselves while I dealt with the buggy’

 

[justheretoread99]

“A vehicle that sells ice cream, think transit”.

 

[henriettadubois2]

PASSPORTS! How do I get one? There are no slots available and despite booking a holiday last night that starts tomorrow none of my DCs, DH, DSSS, DM, DT, GTLs, DTFs have a valid passport! Have I left them in the old suitcases?


Also…

Children. HELP! I have 38939491881 DCs and 87364782 DSCs. My family live 2389493 miles away and are NC, I have no friends, no education, I’ve never worked, can’t stand, type, read or write. I hate people, only shower once a month, am a vegan and have 4 elderly dogs. I don’t have broadband or phone credit.
My husband is evil and won’t give me money, (he is a high earner), totally outing, I have three sets of twins on the way next week.
We live on a remote island in the outer Hebrides, but I can’t speak Scottish.
What can I do?
Take in washing? I don’t have a washing machine!!!!

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

OP, have you thought of taking in ironing? Or do you have anything you can sell on Facebook? * unmumsnet hug *

Even just checking behind the sofa cushions can help. I found 14p by doing that last week, which was enough to buy a flump.

 

[Beverley Macker]

Angela Raynor the MP has a large selection of irregular choice shoes. It’s made me think she shouldn’t be trusted in a position of power.

 

[Becclo44]

Anyone seen the thread about the ‘somber mood in supermarkets now’?! I’m dead

(ETA - that’s not me quoting the user - haven’t posted there in a long long time - but just the screenshot I took)

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Ugh, god yes, they are tedious. It's the same old story of two adults two teenagers (strapping, with hollow legs, obvs), a dog, two cats and 43 guinea pigs surviving on £70 per week of food, all in, including lunches and alcohol. It's utter bollocks.

They're just like the "half a toilet roll lasts our household of four nearly a week" brigade. Again: utter bollocks.

I can believe the loo roll claims. They are so anally retentive, it is a distinct possibility.

 

[Eenymeenyminymo]

Really funny one atm, funnier to me as I love parkrun.
She not only wants it later on,she wants a speed limit imposed for buggies

 

[Crabbypatty00]

Can anyone explain why the incidence of autism in the UK is statistically low at 1-2% and yet every other poster on Mumsnet has an autistic child? Is this self diagnosis do we think or something else. Baffles me.

 

[AlanBanan]

Men, so many men. As I serenely glided into the beauty products shop last 24th Dec I was amused to see it absolutely rammed with blokes, some looking confused, others like me simply admitting ignorance and going straight to the first available assistant to ask variations on “what will my daughter / girlfriend / wife / mum like ?”. The shop assistants were the only women in the place.

One of my first jobs was in a department store at the beauty and perfume area (think Selfridges!) but anyways, up to Christmas, Valentine’s Day or Anniversaries, so many men would just come up to me and basically throw money at me to pick out something I think their girlfriend or wife would like.

I always picked the nicest and most expensive shit to hope the woman at least gets something nice from a partner who is so inconsiderate and won’t pick a gift of any sentimental value.

 

[ToxicPony]

Someone should really answer one of the five hundred 'what makes a person classy/what sort of things do middle class people do' with 'eat beef mince without adding any additional lentils'. Watch them explode.

 

[Cerase]

Oh god this is tedious now. Yes we all recognise a Mumsnet cliché but I'd rather bitch about the real threads than read all this Tattle fiction.

 

[Lalla]

I've been banned on the back of a recent S&B thread where there were loads of them taking the piss. Called them out on it and got a fucking ban. I wouldn't mind but nothing I said breached their stupid 'guidelines'.

I've been on there since 2009 (though very much on and off, I'd often go months without posting) but I think that's me done. I got some pathetic email telling me I can ask to be reinstated after a week. Sod that.

The level of rudeness, ignorance, nastiness and bigotry is horrendous and definitely getting worse. Some years ago when I was single I posted a thread about it, I was at the end of my tether with it all. I included some pictures from my dating profile. That was definitely a mistake. I got told I wore too much make up, needed photos where I looked 'natural' (I always wear that much make up, some of the photos were taken straight after work), that I should wear more high necked clothes as I was giving men the wrong impression otherwise...honestly the body/ appearance shaming was off the scale. I should've deleted my account then.

I have to say I am so much happier on Tattle, not one person here has ever made me feel bad about myself, or disagreed in anything other than a polite/ reasoned way

 

[BethanyGilbert]

Everyone keeps wanting me to put my little one (2yrs old) into nursery. I don't want too. I worked in them & didn'tfind the kids learnt anything ot was always play, play & play.. we do the same stuff at home that nurseries do.. plus we get to have days out and have family fun go out have as much holidays as we get get before we need to book in school holidays.
Why should I put LO in nursery too socialise LO got whole life to do that. I want to spend enough time bonding and playing before LO out grows it or us
LO plays with the neighbours kids everyday also so she socialise with them.
Why can't people leave us be.

Do you think this is Mumsnet?

 

[Mycatoliver]

Style and beauty forum are out doing themselves

‘Help me shop for comfy, stylish sandals please!

There are several threads about stylish sandals

 

[Pipsy]

I'm sorry but that looks so fake...

 

[nicalibres]

The hair recommendation pics always look like they pulled them from a teenager's 2003 Tumblr account.

OMG, this comment in AIBU right now, thread titled 'never leaving the country again'

View attachment 1399253

Right which one of you is trolling mumsnet

 

[anushorribilis]

My pet peeve is when somebody posts about being in poverty and some dick head tells them to go foraging for berries