Mumsnet #36 My mum died when a fat midwife fell on her so we moved to France

[Millie2023]

I’m afraid we’ve lost sight of what a normal portion of cheese looks like…

 

[Tangoqueen]

I have many questions.

The ‘secret layer of basil’ as if it’s bloody laced with cocaine or something

calm down babe

 

[JarvisCockerSpaniel]

Thread about horror films right now, Wolf Creek, Hostel, It Follows etc all being baked as ones to stay with you for ages and give you the proper willies. Then we have this about MRS DOUBTFIRE being terrifying to watch as an adult woman

 

[Affiliatemebaby]

During the pandemic someone posted about washing her soap. That felt like MN had peaked.

 

[veronica71]

There’s not an ounce of self awareness on that Tattle thread is there but could someone point me in the direction of the “bums” threads??

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

I'm genuinely sorry for everyone who suffered during lockdown but honestly it's the most physically and mentally healthy I've ever been as an adult. For me it was an absolutely joyous time.

 

[PrincessCharming]

Only on mumsnet have I known people have so many problems with wafty fanny smells
View attachment 2870957

Has she not realised it’s her own fanny she’s smelling?!

 

[Cinnabun]

Oh, get a bloody life, love!

 

[CrimsonCountess]

I would put money on this being a mumsnetter

 

[NitrousOxide]

My partner has ADHD and ideally you need proof that it's been there since birth/very early childhood to get a diagnosis, but I think many aspects of modern living exacerbate ADHD-like traits.

If you've just developed an attention deficit and lack of motivation from eating shit food, using your phone too much, having too much choice, living in an overstimulating world, you're going to struggle with what appears a bit like ADHD, but you'll lack the beautiful aspects of it. In my experience, people with ADHD from birth are remarkable and stand out in many ways. They're not just scatty and disorganised; they have wonderful, unusual brains and are highly capable people when the circumstances are right for them. I just don't see that in the huge numbers of people with "ADHD" today.

 

[bread-pitt]

Last winter, we went to Europe to see the northern lights. We stayed at one of those resorts with glass igloos and where they have a bunch of activities such as snowmobiles. I was totally not prepared for the number of MN-esque folks there. Here in the US, children believe santa lives at the North Pole. But apparently in the U.K. children believe he lives in Lapland. I had no idea. So, our resort was packed with British families with parents glued to their phones and spoiled little Tarquins and Penelopes running and screaming everywhere. They were all there to meet Santa. I’m convinced we had a whole duck-row of MNers there. The women were all moaning at their useless husbands, moaning about the prices, the weather, the carbs, the WiFi, their children. The husbands all looked so miserable and fed up. The children were out of control and getting anything they wanted because their fathers had resigned themselves to just giving in - anything for the screaming to stop. And I also realized that the 6’4 husband is a MN fantasy. My husband is 6’3 and these husbands barely came up to his shoulder and they all looked about 140 pounds. And the constant moaning and lack of control of their children.

I just couldn’t deal with all that misery every day. It was like the physical version of a MN board.

 

[Audaciter]

This may be outing me but I have let rip on that one as an adoptee. I don't care but that thread has pissed me off so much. The absolute cunts.

I’ve had to sit on my hands because I couldn’t trust myself not to go entirely nuclear. Utter utter cunts.

I love my child with everything I am. I can’t imagine anyone else being my kid. It’s just impossible to even consider…

 

[50degreesnorth]

This has potential. Not only is she fat, but she’s old enough to have full blown dementia and she’s leaving the house.

Replies so far are predictable.
jumpsuit - because plus-size women look SO good in them
pumpkin fancy dress costume - I can literally smell the polyester from here. No waist. Elasticated sleeves!
one whose “going out” outfit doubles as the “my day job at the library” or “waitresses I have known”.

 

[ShopTilYouSlop]

I have left a scathing review on Amazon of a book I read where the male author describes our detective heroine as 5’8” strong and muscular but with curves in all the right places and coming in at 105lbs.

Imagine having someone with that little knowledge of female anatomy trying to find your clit.

 

[bread-pitt]

Did ye, aye?

“I put it to my Jose” made me laugh out loud. Poor Jose! What has he done to deserve having a glass of pee presented to him?

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Alright, which one of you wrote this helpful text?

 

[Aab41]

This may be 'outing' but I have a perfectly average sized 10 year old. I had to return an age 10-11 swimming costume to decathlon today as it was quite frankly ridiculously small. The assistant told me it was because its French sizing, which obviously made me immediately think of MN and this thread. I knew all French women were petite but I hadn't realised our children were also towering over them in height too

 

[Geetbo]

I love the composed texts. Nobody ever just says “you owe me a tenner you scruffy cunt, get it sent.”

 

[maytoseptember]

If you think I’m fucking clicking on that… think again.

Bring back the good old days when no one would have DREAMED of posting pictures of their vaginas, haemorrhoids or any other intimate body part and would just consult a doctor instead.

 

[sistersofpercy]

Lasagne lady has made meatballs for tomorrows dinner.