Mumsnet #36 My mum died when a fat midwife fell on her so we moved to France

[Serene Serena]

This may be outing me but I have let rip on that one as an adoptee. I don't care but that thread has pissed me off so much. The absolute cunts.

They are a fucking horrendous bunch of arseholes. I am reminded of something that still makes me want to cry with anger and slap someone. One of my mum's friends was talking about her son's wife's pregnancy and said 'we're so happy, we'll have a REAL grandchild at last.' She already had two REAL grandchildren, an 11yo boy and his 7yo sister, her daughter's children, adopted as toddlers. I remember saying something along those lines, and she said, pityingly, you'll understand when you're a grandmother. No I fucking won't.

 

[Geetbo]

That lasagna weighs more than most mumsnetters.

 

[Tangent Tiger]

GET YOUR DICKS IN A ROW another great next thread title, there was one upthread as well!

I'm sorry that some have you have been impacted by the adoption thread (I haven't read this one), if a child needs to be taken care of and people want to love him/her then they ARE your child.

 

[VC10]

I’ve not read it but I just know someone who finds themself hilarious will talk about getting bummed at Center Parcs.

At centre parcs once when it opened ( 1989?) a group of us went. I hurtled down a slide thing at high speed into the water & down followed an older , very fit muscular gentleman who cannoned into me , whilst simultaneously losing his shorts. After getting them back on , amidst lots of laughter from us all, he apologised . I copped a right eyeful of his huge tackle & was overcome!

We saw each other again a couple of days later on bicycles, so naturally we had to shag

It was bloody great

 

[GBNI]

I have many questions.

 

[Geetbo]

I've just been to the Co-op to buy their poor people's meal deal (pizza, garlic bread, chicken nuggets, potato faces and chocolate ice-cream, my kid thinks he's died and gone to heaven) and now I have to regain my appetite, not think about pus spurting out of infected follicles.

ETA: I am adding une petite quantité de salade for those of you shuddering with disgust at all the beige.

I’ve bought that meal deal as well. And me and my husband are both in our 30s. And both men, so could both post about our greedy bastard husbands and cause some kind of glitch in the mumsnet hivemind.

 

[EffingDust]

Mumsnetters fretting that some tattlers might be teachers is right out of the Sali Hughes playbook. A few years ago she had a rant about tattle and was horrified that some tattlers were 'teachers of children'! It was very amusing.

The Letby thread opened my eyes to how many healthcare workers are on Tattle too. I think anyone who has to work somewhere with the unfiltered public (hospitals, schools, shops, call centres etc) just has to deal with so much of people’s shit behaviours and bite their tongue that it means they a) need an outlet to call people (in this case influencers) out on their prancing nonsense, and b) means that you seen behind the facade of polite society and have a finely tuned bullshit detector.

 

[sistersofpercy]

DS was a stupidly early reader. (Saddened to say it all evened out and he now works in IT rather than rocket science).
I recall him telling me he knew where fairy liquid came from when I was washing up one afternoon. ‘Volcanoes’ he said.
Massively confused I asked him what made him think that and he shot off to retrieve a book… Aladdin. He flicked through the pages and pointed to a line that said “and the volcano spewed a fiery liquid”.

 

[Little Miss]

I've been reading What age would you put this child at? in AIBU. I think the OP was hoping for people to say her child is obviously gifted and talented for her age, but no, Mumsnetters' children are all fluent in French and Latin and can write in cursive font since they were 2. One poster has even dared to suggest the handwriting sample may have been written by an adult pretending to be a 5yo.

My 4yo has beautiful handwriting, he has just had his second 100,000 word novel accepted for publishing, and is currently enjoying the works of Hemingway, Dickens and Chaucer.

Really though, he's playing Jurassic Park very noisily with his mate whilst DH is watching Arsenal play Brighton

Oh my god this reminds me of a thread a few years back about what to do if your kid is advanced and this was one of the replies

 

[Axatogrind]

Not so much since Tattle has clamped down on new joiners, but I've previously suspected that some of the nastier comments about appearance and weight etc. have been posted by the influencers themselves looking to screenshot "evidence" for their stories.

Clemmie Hooper won't be the only one who's been posting on Tattle under an alias.

 

[50degreesnorth]

Speaking of intelligence - spotted on today’s “Tattle are evil nasty bitches and can I have a code please?” Thread.

 

[Technobiff]

That adoption thread is disgusting, and the poster who said her adopted husband hasn't spoken to his adoptive parents since he discovered his bio parents, he's a grade A cunt.
Thanks for adopting me and everything you've done, but I've found my real parents now, so fuck off. What an absolute shitbag.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

An OP is asking what to wear on a first date which is dinner and drinks. Someone has told her she should wear this…

I would wear this, in all honesty. I mean, assuming it's a nice restaurant for the first date, not the drive through at Burger King.

Fun story: I grew up in a tiny town in southern England during the 70s. We had heard of this famed restaurant "McDonalds" but had never seen one except on telly. I believe there were one or two in that London place, but we never ventured the 68 minute train journey there as it was full of Rough Types and Yobboes, according to my very-MN-type mum.

Anyway it was announced in the local paper that a McDonalds was opening in the nearest small town and this was hugely exciting. My parents agreed we were all going to go as a special treat, not on opening night but a week after. So we all got dressed up - my dad wore his suit, my mum wore her best dress, me and my sister were in matching corduroy pinafores. Looked like we were off to a christening. Having managed to work out on arrival that there were no waiters and you had to order at the till and pay - in advance!! - we got our food and sat at a table, in McDonalds, in our finest clothes, poking disappointedly at a Big Mac. My mum was DISGUSTED that there was no cutlery and we had to eat with our hands, like COMMON people with no table manners.

It would have been more embarrassing if we hadn't been surrounded by at least 10 other families dressed in exactly the same way

 

[orangehead]

Me too, and I am fat and northern and use the word fuck as punctuation in a work setting.

I also went to a russell group uni, work in management and live in a 'nice' area.

Would they accept half of me or shun me for being a working class upstart who should know her place

You’re northern and you went to university? *head tilt* for a day trip?

 

[orangehead]

I have many questions.

Just burn the house down and restart your life in another country. It’s the only option.

 

[50degreesnorth]

I've seen some over the top dramatics on mumsnet in the past, but 'literally crying for a child I don't know' over him not being read a bedtime story is a new one
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I agree 100%. My children’s bedrooms are their safe space and sanctuary. That’s why I built a cage in the cellar to put them in when they’re fuckers. It’s much more humane.
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I'm hoping it was Chris Eubank

I worked in a call centre knocking on 30 years ago. Only one client sent his complaint letter on embossed paper with a photograph of himself on it. Think famous boxer with ludicrous monocle who lives in Brighton.

*I don’t know anything about his penis.

 

[CrimsonCountess]

This poster seems to have missed the irony of saying this about a tattle thread about mumsnet on a mumsnet thread about reddit and tattle

 

[Serene Serena]

When my kids were toddlers (mid 90’s) my parent bought back a set of BA cutlery which were just the right size for small hands. When I cleared out their house I bought back the two teaspoons and they are great for eating yoghurt and desserts. The handle is slightly longer and they are a lovely shape.

I have a set of cutlery stamped with property of the NHS which my Nan gifted me. She swears she bought it from Oxfam but I’m not so sure. My mum bought two sets of bunkbeds for us girls when we were little with HMP Wakefield on them. Cast iron they were and indestructible. She still has one set up for visiting weans.

 

[NoddyFromToytown]

I nearly did a typical MN just now… and then I remembered I was banned! I was just looking on active and saw someone whinging about vets bills (didn’t open it but er hello - insurance?!). I had to get my 16 year old kitty put to sleep today and to say I’m fucking devastated is an understatement - felt like going on and pointing out how lucky they are to have vets bills to pay! (Although so do I now as not covered for today)

 

[SharkAttack]

I remember a pandemic thread where someone who lived in the back of beyond, literally no houses for miles around, just fields, said she had covid but was it ok if she walked her dog at midnight in the fields as the dog needed walking.

Everyone piled in to say absolutely not, what if she came across someone lying in the field who needed mouth to mouth etc.

That complete adherence to the rules, that total stupidity, has always stuck with me.