Mrs Hinch #389 Coming soon: The Alpacalypse. You have been warned

[Tui]

Does anyone remember the days before Instagram and Facetune when if you wanted to take a pic that disguised how you actually look you’d have to take it in black and white and fuck with the contrast on your webcam before you put it on MySpace? Those were simpler times

 

[Blondesx40x]

Her plagerised quote states 'you are enough as you are'
What a load of bollocks.
If so Soph why the need for the gastric band, fake nails and eyebrows, the teeth and the hair, the one nostril or none at all...?
Most of all, why the urge to be somebody you're not?
Your not not enough, never enough and that's not a hint for you to start signing on the gram..
Wake up and smell the coffee,
as Alexander O'Neil says you're fake!!

 

[Cupboardshoes]

Get your bingo dabbers ready guyzzz.
That story of her scraping stroking Ron's head is here for her to make a message montage full of "you'll be a wonderful mum Sophie , you and Henry have the perfect marriage, can't wait to see your new puppy" "I love Ron like he's my own. If he doesn't like the new baby I am a 'Ronnie person' so ill rehome him" etc. With all the same grammatical mistakes we usually see! Heck I've got time to myself this morning. Might make one up for us

 

[Rh3a]

My baby died, and I can tell you if she kept tagging me whilst pregnant still I’d block her, but that’s just me

 

[Danielizabeth]

The lack of focus and excitement about her new baby is just weird. Maybe she’s had him and he’s been sent to live with baby people while they concentrate on more important issues like alpacas.
No doubt when she clicks her fingers and appears at her farm her sheep will piss themselves with happiness. What’s she’s doing with the “little old me” routine is actually clever, she’s planting that this could happen to anyone just by posting stuff on Instagram, that’s why people get so excited when she tags them because maybe they will be the next Hinch with alpacas.
Absolutely dier content though.

 

[Briar_rose]

 

[mucking.fuddle]

My daughter is a new mummy and has recently deleted all of her social media accounts due to the fact she was watching these new sleb and insta mums show off what they are trying to portray as real but really a staged set trying to sell you shit and exploit you. It was making her feel awful about herself an mixed with hormones it’s a recipe for self loathing and feelings of failure. She was up showering at 5.30am or she wouldn’t get the chance to wash. Yet these girls are film set ready and their babies snuggled up in the latest high end bouncers and gifted prams. She was so low about how she was lacking in comparison she was spiralling into a dark hole.
I am so proud of her for realising it’s all FAKE and they are sell sell selling. It’s rubbing salt in the wounds when you naturally don’t know if you’re on your arse or your elbow.

Please any new mummy’s or mums to be, step away from these platforms, seek real advice from health professionals, family and friends, not these soul sucking demons.
Here endeth the lesson xxx

 

[DoodlePoodle]

This scatter gun approach to her account is just not working at all!
She’s supposed to be a cleaning account - promotes P&G but doesn’t really clean anything. All this SLO-mo and finger clicking with music over the top isn’t cleaning! I want to see a filthy bathroom cleaned properly with (ideally eco) products and explanations about why they work. And show the process from start to finish!
Tries to be a Mummy account - never shows anything of the reality of being a Mum. And plenty of others are doing it better and with real honesty. Having a stay at home Dad and parents on tap so you can faff about all day on IG isn’t real life for 99.9% of her followers.
Tries to be a beauty influencer (massive eye roll) whilst filtered to the eye balls!

It’s time to pick a lane and stay in it and do it honestly and transparently or just give it up!

Just my rambling thoughts again this morning

 

[Abcdefghijklmn]

View attachment 568223
if I was her neighbour I would be FUMING if someone with 4 million followers put a video of my child (wearing their school uniform with visible logo can I add) on her story!
does she think of anyone else apart from herself?
how absolutely unsafe- there are predators out there!!!!

SOPHIE YOU ARE FILMING YOUR SON HAVING FUN FROM A WINDOW IN A DIFFERENT HOUSE, how can you not see you are merely a spectator in his life through a lense

 

[Maracas]

She can’t even look after the worlds easiest pets! Those frigging fish! We have 6 of them and my 6 year old does a grand job at looking after them, you don’t need to be ‘fish people’.
What on earth makes her think they will be ‘alpaca people’ if she can’t look after a sodding fish.

Im sorry this this has absolutely raged me! She’s so careless and just wants wants wants no matter what the big veruca salt. Prick.

 

[Char4649]

I work in a charity shop and we currently have 132 copies of her book in the back room

 

[Influencerzsuck]

Oh my gosh!!!! Thanks for all the likes, guys!! My first thread name baby!

 

[motherofdonkeys]

new thread suggestion:

Big bump, little bump, cardboard box, big bump, little bump, cardboard box...

 

[Palms]

Thread suggestion by @Influencerzsuck
With 128 likes!

Alpacas?? Sopha love, you're NOT Eliza thornberry.

 

[universalminds]

I think at the start she was liked because she was relatable, she did make a lovely home with bargain finds in B&M and her home was of a normal every day size that her followers have, people could relate.she made cleaning a bit fun by naming her cloffs and actually cleaned .... now she has a double sized house, everyone is bored of the grey, she doesn’t show to be using the bargains anymore she buys shit from ebay to show she still buys the bargains but then they never are seen to get used, she is now flogging and ADing expensive stuff, naming the cloffs has worn off and everyone is bored shitless of cleaning accounts ... all of the cleaning accounts (apart from LCOC) seem to be trying to shift to lifestyle accounts or interiors but they tend to be all neutral interiors with no imagination and their lifestyle is boring ... mario -hinch - all the same - people are bored and they are struggling for content - nobody wants to see you shitty home bargains or b&m haul - nobody cares, if I want to see what b &m and home bargains have in store I will go myself!
Only cleaning accounts I think that are growing are the ones now showing the eco friendly ways to clean - people are becoming more and more aware and want to do their bit for the environment- meanwhile hinch is just filling landfil with the replacements of furniture and shite she has bought from ebay.
And don’t even get me started on the fake plastic soooo bad for the eco system grass she had fitted!
she actually infuriates me
Bet your bottom dollar that there will be balloons and more shit that’s bad for the environment when she does her baby reveal .... I hate how wasteful she is
You’d think being a mother she would try to save the Earth for her kids sake but nah that doesn’t matter!

 

[Dojacat101]

if I was her neighbour I would be FUMING if someone with 4 million followers put a video of my child (wearing their school uniform with visible logo can I add) on her story!
does she think of anyone else apart from herself?
how absolutely unsafe- there are predators out there!!!!

 

[cosmo566]

Thread Suggestion:

Content and engagement at an all time low, is it finally time for Zoph to go?

 

[Bandersnatch]

This scatter gun approach to her account is just not working at all!
She’s supposed to be a cleaning account - promotes P&G but doesn’t really clean anything. All this SLO-mo and finger clicking with music over the top isn’t cleaning! I want to see a filthy bathroom cleaned properly with (ideally eco) products and explanations about why they work. And show the process from start to finish!
Tries to be a Mummy account - never shows anything of the reality of being a Mum. And plenty of others are doing it better and with real honesty. Having a stay at home Dad and parents on tap so you can faff about all day on IG isn’t real life for 99.9% of her followers.
Tries to be a beauty influencer (massive eye roll) whilst filtered to the eye balls!

It’s time to pick a lane and stay in it and do it honestly and transparently or just give it up!

Just my rambling thoughts again this morning

Hi guyyyysssssss
Long time lurker here, finally plucked up the courage to add my 2p's worth.
I agree with this. I think a lot of Sofas problem is that she does everything half heartedly.
She's not a cleaning account because she cleans the same three or four things over and over when they weren't really dirty to begin with. She's basically just wiping stuff down.
She's not a parenting account because she doesn't show herself actually parenting or talk about the struggles that are part and parcel of life with small children.
She's not a lifestyle account because she doesn't do anything.
She's not a home account because filling a new build with cheap plastic tat isn't exactly inspirational and everyone is so over grey.
If she just picked one thing, actually put some effort into it and was more honest then she not be so insufferable.

I haven't followed her avidly but from what I can tell her account used to be cleaning made fun because of her bubbly personality but it feels like she's been consumed by the pressure and 'fame' so her personality and relatability has disappeared. Everything she does now feels quite manic, driven by anxiety and just reeks of desperation to stay relevant.
She's dragging out this pregnancy for engagement. Everyone is waiting to see when crotch goblin #2 makes an appearance and she's milking it for all it's worth. Same with the Hinch farm nonsense, she's struggling with what to do next, she's jealous of SS and has decided to copy. Hyping it all up for engagement.
I swing from pitying her to cringing at everything she does. It's like a car crash, I can't help but watch.

 

[Spacemonkey1972]

I think some of the problem is hinch is unravelling. She’s desperately trying to cling onto that lifebouy of relevancy. In the beginning of her account (after she’d tried 3 different times) cleaning accounts were fairly new. The ones already there, the women and men were just your average looking everyday folk. Sorry to say, not pretty enough. She saw a niche and filled it. Blonde, ditzy, just like us with her B&M hauls and man who worked. Now cleaning accounts saturate insta and they’re dying out. The problem is, a lot of these other accounts don’t actually need their insta, it was just an added extra e.g Dazlin who has a job so does her husband. LQOC has been on tv and continues to be on. Other accounts have collapsed or branches out. Hinch CANT branch out, she can’t do anything else. She’s a 1 trick pony. So she’s trying every ‘over the top’ thing to stay relevant. I even think this baby was planned to boost her as Ronnie isn’t pulling in the hits anymore. And with that she’s getting more and more mentally unstable. Not in the same vein but I liken it to footballers when their career is over. Top for so long-then a zero a nothing. Cos only a few will make it to commentary or managing

 

[witchofwales]

It’ll be a reveal of baby and new house (sorry farm!) combo for full impact! Mag deal definitely incoming with ‘borrowed’ alpacas skipping in the background. A HHH plaque, lots of balloons, baby will be wearing #babyroo or #babyhinch (new range clobber) Dog and R glued on their mark in ‘big brother’ T-shirt’s. The full works

Yawn yawn yawn - I loved the idea of someone saying we should talk about the weather instead - I only come here because im fascinated by psychology (ETA to mention the psychology around all this online behaviour - tbf is quite interesting)