Mason Mount #35 Apparently Mason has a sore tooth but only NPB knows the truth….

[MrsGrealish]

What they really think about us!!

[Mase] Do you lads know that I have a fan club?

[Deccers] What?

[Mase] Its true.

[Walks] Bro, don’t go in there. They’re insane.

[Mase] What’ya mean?

[Walks] They had an in depth chat about pegging!

[Jack] Wot’s peggin?

[Chilly] You don’t wanna know, Jack.

[Mase]

[Phil] Do I want 2 b pegged?

[Walks] No you don’t.

[Deccers]

[Jack] Tell me wot it means.

[Walks]

[Picks] Its when a girl does you up the bumhole with a strap on.

[Phil]

[Hendo] You seem a little too familiar with that, Picks.

[Picks]

[Mase]

[Deccers]

[Dom] Who’s the group, Mase?

[Mase] Flooded Basement Club.

*Radio silence for an hour*

[Mase] You lot are googling them, arent you?

[Deccers] Why’d we do that, Daddy

[Mase]

[Stonesy] Walks, why’d they call you snail.

[Walks] Coz my tongue looks like a slug, according to them nutters.

[Phil] It does.

[Walks] Shut up!

[Stonesy] One called @Scuffed wants to suck on your snail.

[Walks] At least they don’t call my dick, Yorkshire pudding.

[Stonesy] That’s only one of them. There’s plenty on there that want to ride me.

[Jack] Wot they say bout me?

[Stonesy] They call you call you Lightbulb.

[Jack] Why?

[Walks] Coz you’re a dimwit.

[Deccers] So true.

[Phil]

[Mase] Jack, you have a wife. She wants to know how big your dick is.

[Stonesy] She’ll be disappointed.

[Jack] I’ve got plenty to please a woman.

[Picks] Aye, a barbie doll.

[Chilly]

[Mase]

[Deccers]

[Walks]

[Harry M] Hi guys, been out. What I miss?

[Hendo] Picks likes pegging, Walks is a snail and Jack has a small dick.

[Reece] You lot are weird.

[Chilly] I do not have an STD!

[Mase] Are you sure about that…..Tink.

[Chilly] I’ve been checked.

[Mase]

[Deccers]

[Hendo]

[Picks]

[Jack]

[Walks] Chilly, they love to rag on you for not having a Chinese.

[Mase] Nevermind the Chinese, you should be worried about what @Geraldine.20.jobs and @Smca53 want to do with the KFC gravy.

[Jack] Wot do they want 2 do with gravy?

[Chilly] I don’t want to know.

[Walks] Shut up, Chilly. You know you want to.

[Chilly]

[Reece] Don’t ask about the corn on the cob then.

[Deccers] I love these women. They sound like a riot.

[Stonesy] Jack, I just went on your thread. They’re even worse. They want to breastfeed you and lick your arse clean after a shit.

[Phil] Jack, why do you always attract the weird ones?

[Hendo] Because he’s a dirty fucker himself.

[Paddy] I’m ok. They think I’m smart and they call me Paddy Long Dong.

[Shawberto] Do I get a mention?

[Mase] You got a wife in a dream key had. You raise sheep and Alpacas. It was quite beautiful.

[Shawberto] Is my wife hot?

[Walks] Yeah.

[Shawberto] Cool. Set me up with her.

[Harry K] Are you lot really clogging up the chat because a group of horny women?

[Stonesy] Yeah.

[Deccers] Horny women who go mental every time I’m shirtless and wearing my Captains armband. They don’t call me Spicy Ricey for nothing.

[Mase]

[Deccers] If you gave them more content Mase, they wouldn’t have to turn to me.

[Hendo] I’ve just read some of the smut they’ve written.

[Mase] Is it good?

[Hendo] Read it. Wife is getting it soon.

[Stonesy] Jack, me and you got some smut too.

[Jack] I wanna read it.

[Picks] Jack, you know you cant read that many big words.

[Jack] Sum1 read it for me.

[Stonesy] I just read it Jack. The things your wife wants to do to you.

[Mase] I’ve just read the boxing smut. Fuckkkkkkkkk!

[Deccers] Mase. Did you read the dream @keylimepie had about you properly. You went limp dick on her and only cuddled her.

[Mase] I hope I improved. I hate to be a dream disappointment.

[Shawberto] I want some Tramadol if you get those kind of dreams.

[Chilly] Speaking of limp dick. Poor Timo got done dirty by @PunkRocker.

[Mase] Let’s not tell him that they call him Dickboy!

[Chilly]

[Tyrone] You boys do chat a lot of shit.

[Mase] Have you read the thread?

[Tyrone] No, should I?

[Mase] Yes!

[Deccers] Yes!

[Tripps] Errr, can someone explain to me what is sexy about a woman laying an egg for you to eat?

[Lingz] You wot?

[Tripps] Read the post by @PunkRocker.

[Lingz] WTF?

[Jadon] How do you ask a woman to do that?

[Hendo] Away from anything sharp, I’m guessing.

[Phil]

[Kalvin] Ermmmm, I may have missed something. Since when was shitting and wanking at the same time a thing?

[Mase]

[Jack] U wot?

[Stonesy] I don’t think I want to know about that.

[Chilly] @GGina explains it. It’s weird but I cant work out the logistics of it.

[Picks] They think I’m the shwanker.

[Harry M] Stop having angry shwanks then.

[Picks]

[Paddy] Shwanking is harder than it looks and it can get messy.

[Mase]

[Jack] Grim.

[Trips] Let’s pretend you didn’t say that.

[Mase] Anyway. I’m curious about the FBC, I’m gonna hunt one down.

[Jack] If you find one, tell me my wife I have a big dick.

[Deccers] He just doesn’t know what to do with it.

[Chilly]

[Jack] Fuck you, Deccers.

[Mase] I’ll let you all know what I manage to find out.

 

[QueenL]

 

[laylavd]

Afternoon all. How are we?

I've been signed off work indefinitely, my mental health has taken a bit of a nose dive. It is work triggered so just need a break from that. You guys are my comfort zone at the moment so I'll be around a lot.

I've been with Winston aka Mason for three hours this afternoon and he is already barking at me. I wish the real Mason was as obsessed with me as the dog.

This is like someone has put all my favourite bits together.

 

[Isanythingrealanymore]

HAPPY FUCK ME FRIDAY BITCHES

its freedom day I am out of isolation!

to celebrate, tiktok thought I wanted to see voldy screeching yet another love song on my fyp. No thanks tiktok Not letting that rain on my parade today

game day tomorrow! My first match back since masons hatrick (what a bloody day that was!!)

 

[jflurker93]

All in the name of research.

 

[Tabbytiger]

Mason looks surprisingly well in training for someone with career-ruining health-killing limb-rotting gonorrhoea

 

[jflurker93]

Here you go

Ignore the crushed velvet headboard, it’s old AF

 

[keylimepie]

Just said to a male work colleague that he smelt nice. This is the reply I got
“Oh thanks. I febreezed my clothes this morning as I ran out of deodorant”
Wow. Just wow

 

[kria]

‘Erm, can you call my mum, I’ve had a bit of an accident…’

 

[keylimepie]

I was doing “research” into the bulge situation as I take evidenced based pictures very seriously to ensure we are correct in our assumptions. One of my colleagues has just peered through my office window and seen Mason’s sock area enlarged on my work computer. I’m now going to have to bribe him to keep quiet. I used the office computer because I could see better than my phone. Well that’ll teach me.

 

[irishgal2013]

Tbf she got it wrong, so I’m not apologising. She said he had pain in his wisdom teeth. Tuchel said it was an infection. Not the same fake steak.

 

[nellyloz123]

Happy new thread!
I’m sorry the title is not my best work but I can’t remember what’s happened once again

I promise I will take notes for a proper recap for the next thread!

No Daddy content so far this week. I feel like I’m having withdrawal symptoms and it’s been less than a week…..

Here are some golden oldies to fill the void

There is also a new hottie on the horizon who exchanged sexy eye contact with me at the match last weekend. Joe Edwards is a Chelsea coach who has no social media and resembles an older Chilly

 

[Isanythingrealanymore]

My last day of isolation today & annoyingly mr isanythingrealanymore is home ill with what he has described as “the masons” aka he’s got the shits

 

[GGina]

@Chani10 girl get in there quick!

 

[runderpants]

I’ve just found this thread whilst on here talking about something else and I’ve been crying my eyes out at it. So funny! Thanks for such an entertaining 30 mins reading (slow Friday afternoon at work).

 

[Suder34]

Mothers introduction to mason has not gone well and I quote “he looks young enough for you to have birthed him Victoria, sort yourself out”
I’m yet to show her my Dom and John! I think that may go slightly better

 

[Eden246]

Tuchel’s just confirmed it actually was a wisdom tooth keeping Mason out last week damn you NPB why did you have to be right.

 

[jflurker93]

Just nearly spat my coffee everywhere!!!

 

[Tabbytiger]

Just had a news article come on my Facebook feed saying there’s a correlation between nose size and dick size
Congrats Mason!

 

[Here4thetea]

I’m relatively new to this thread and have played a little bit of catch up to get up to speed on some of the things mentioned but want to send my gratitude to whoever made the FBC playlist on Spotify. It’s a work of art and is getting me through work today.