A constant contradiction.
Stomping and walking fast (not elegant), yet ever so slowly fondling her veg (legit creepy). Pinkies up to tear a croissant perfectly in an oh so delicate gesture, but it's ruined by the elbows on the table.
She never just loves on the animals, instead sticks her finger in their face. Who does that? Particularly with a pointy long nail? Instead of tending to their needs when they're in distress (Porter especially with that ridiculous huge "toy box"), she grabs the camera and mocks them for content.
Face like a slapped arse when "modeling", haughtily looking down at cameras (she gets this from her mum), yet then breaks into shrieks and cackles that deform her face.
Always buying clothing and shoes that are too small whilst highlighting her XXXXXS size with every breath, which is hysterical because the too tight clothing all make her look not so small at all. Says she's all about fitness and self care, but openly drinks herself to hangover-land on the daily.
Has 3 gas guzzling vehicles that she rarely drives because she takes a taxi everywhere.
Says she was self-conscious for years due to her concrete boobies, but then wore the sluttiest evening wedding getup that showcased them in all their cylindrical glory.
Says she is gluten intolerant, but dives into pasta and bread after starving herself all day.
Makes more of a fuss over a work anniversary with another woman than she does over her own husband at their anniversaries. Curiously, never forgets her pajamas to sleep in when traveling with Ali, but when with Carrie, whoops, has to sleep naked.
Keeps saying they're moving, but hasn't stopped pouring resources into more and more changes and redecorating to further ruin the property.
Says she loves banged up shoes and things that aren't perfect, but can't cope with the wrong colour flowers in the garden.
Loses her mind over a tone of hair colour, risking her career by recklessly assaulting another woman in a vulnerable condition, yet leaves the house regularly with patchy fake tan and dirt under her fingernails.
Nothing about this wankpuffin is wholesome, aspirational, or genuine.
Unbelievable that luxe brands would want THIS to promote them:
View attachment 1413991
x
not even a Tattle birthday hat can tame my (Lidlโs) Haggrid hair๐ซฃโฆquick someone get me a Dyson stat!
