If a publisher won't buy The Tortoise she will just self-publish like last time. Might have to choose a different vanity publisher though, I doubt that Christian outlet will put out her bonkbuster
Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!
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Not a single comment yet, the mods must be busy trying to find anything positive lol
I think we might be mistaken in conflating "The Turtle's Head" with the Suffragette oeuvre (apparently, she tips the jockey off his horse, leaps in the saddle and wins the race as the crowd chants "Lizzie! Lizzie!). I suspect they are two different *ahem* works. The vanity publisher that churned out "8 ½ Copies Sold" thought to make their money back through the tour, and we all know how tickets positively flew for that! Covid spared her blushes and their reputation, but it's evident they weren't prepared to touch "The Turtle's Head" with a ten foot pole... and nor has anyone else!
Also, her *cough* mortgage offer was almost certainly based on her self-certification of "Emily Pulls it Off!" being a #1 best seller. So... she'll be digging in at number 3, Easby Court until she gets evicted (again) and the slow spiral of teeth aching decline will continue to its inevitable end.
Her desperation regarding getting her claws on Scrace's inheritance is starting to look positively unstable (even for her!) and I think her employer's are risking a great deal in enabling her.
Also, her *cough* mortgage offer was almost certainly based on her self-certification of "Emily Pulls it Off!" being a #1 best seller. So... she'll be digging in at number 3, Easby Court until she gets evicted (again) and the slow spiral of teeth aching decline will continue to its inevitable end.
Her desperation regarding getting her claws on Scrace's inheritance is starting to look positively unstable (even for her!) and I think her employer's are risking a great deal in enabling her.
As I understood it from the column, the suffragette story was her first attempt at a novel and is not the current one (which presumably is The Turtle's Head.) I guess another obstacle to getting the latter published is that for all intents and purposes it is a fantasy about harming David and "Fructis Woman". Even if David can't afford to take it to court, they have to consider that he'd have grounds to, and therefore that publishing the book is risky
I think you are probably correct, but her writing is so bad and all over the place, it's difficult to actually understand what she is saying. I'm still puzzling over the publisher who turned her down, but want her to come to their office, because they like her voice...ehh what???
Yes, sometimes the addled and disjointed she writes the column can confuse. My take was the same as yours. She made an attempt at a ‘Suffragette’ novel. The climax possibly being Emily’s ill fated demise under the Kings horse perhaps drawing on her own experience at being ‘trampled’ down by everyone in her life and linking prison hunger strikes to her own eating disorder?? We can ever be thankful it never saw a printing..
Also confusing.. did they mean her actual writing style, God forbid! Here’s hoping they listened to the podcast when she was singing..she can’t sing for toffee but it’s marginally better than the writing in ‘The Tortoise’(Turtles Head).
Her columns lurch from topic to topic in such a jarring way, so many comments saying that they have no idea what she’s on about, so god knows what an actual novel would be like 
Exactly the same as last week.. the ‘We are no longer accepting comments on this article’ message pops up above precisely no reader comments!
Last week,towards close of day, a mere 5 comments miraculously appeared…
The whole Liz Jones diary is now neither use nor ornament and should be binned.
It’s not surprising that such a navel gazing narcissist should be reluctant to accept that the ‘Readers Comments’ have been the best, most entertaining bit for ages now…They have also been significantly more truthful in opposition to her morass of lies.
Risky tactic. Her readership will plummet without a full and free comments section.
It’s self-sabotage in action. First the dreadful and vicious book fails, now she’s hobbling her own column into extinction and the subsequent loss of her rented home is likely to follow.
Last week,towards close of day, a mere 5 comments miraculously appeared…
The whole Liz Jones diary is now neither use nor ornament and should be binned.
It’s not surprising that such a navel gazing narcissist should be reluctant to accept that the ‘Readers Comments’ have been the best, most entertaining bit for ages now…They have also been significantly more truthful in opposition to her morass of lies.
Risky tactic. Her readership will plummet without a full and free comments section.
It’s self-sabotage in action. First the dreadful and vicious book fails, now she’s hobbling her own column into extinction and the subsequent loss of her rented home is likely to follow.
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Exact;y this, lets face it, we read it, eyebrows raised, thinking erm...then we hit google, check for a few facts, which are never present in jug ears writing, then we want to see if everyone else agrees with us...clearly they do, and any of the positive Go Liz comments are clearly fake, poor Nic having to work on a Sunday, or else as a piss-take NigeFromDorset, yes the ones that do get through are awesome and totally reflect what we think (Candida Voletrouser) is one example, their comments are gold, but if there are no comments then it is just like reading this crap, with no genuine feedback, wondering how much the DM pay her for this crap...Hello DM I (and many others) could probably write a good column, but I am happy to take criticism, maybe even change my pov or way of thinking, in order to engage with readers, and provide a piece that is actually worth reading, entertaining, thought provoking, god forbid, uplifting even...we really dont want Liz Moans, unless we can have an opinion on it, that challenges her tales of woe and point out that she is the author of her own misery.
By the by and purely by way of conversation, it was always a mystery to me that, after the Somerset debacle, she didn't move abroad. With the money she had, she could have bought a monster pile in France or Spain, hired actual staff, had the facilities for horses, dogs, cats etc. and could have moaned incessantly about the locals (red meat to Mail readers), lied through her teeth without too much risk of being found out! She paid about a million for Lawn House and for half that could have had something like this:
https://www.green-acres.fr/en/properties/house/labastide-castel-amouroux/Ae4ptbydlq8luuya.htm
which comes with acres of land! And she works from home! Talk about a missed opportunity. Mind you, say what you like about Jonesey... you can't accuse her of having an imagination!
https://www.green-acres.fr/en/properties/house/labastide-castel-amouroux/Ae4ptbydlq8luuya.htm
which comes with acres of land! And she works from home! Talk about a missed opportunity. Mind you, say what you like about Jonesey... you can't accuse her of having an imagination!
Surely she can start to collect her pension from Marie Claire now as she’s over 60? Guess she has to pay off debts 
Her debts should have been written off when she was made bankrupt. If she has run up more it's her own fault, she can't blame her sister or the stalker next door this time
don't think she was there long enough to have accrued any benefits, she should have had a private pension all these years, paying in a regular sum no matter where she worked, but that would have lessened the spa treatments, designer clothes, teeth steaming and whatever other crap she's wasted money on, but nah, not for old jug ears.Surely she can start to collect her pension from Marie Claire now as she’s over 60? Guess she has to pay off debts
No chance of a decent pension in publishing! I speak from experienceSurely she can start to collect her pension from Marie Claire now as she’s over 60? Guess she has to pay off debts
I would be astonished if she hasn't got a pension pot. It's tax-efficient and another thing she can lie about ad infinitum. I don't know anybody from a background like hers that hasn't got *something* stashed away, besides which, she would have accrued at least 20 years of occupational pension before she went self-employed.
Ha ha! That’s a nice touch including the Castel Amouroux @ Mediastar? She literally hates confronting what she missed out on through her own hubris and profligate nature. She’s just so thick.
Not sure why she stayed in Blighty, it wasn’t as if she had close family ties or a viable relationship? However our loss is certainly Frances gain.
She hates Europe (proud xenophobe, proud Brexit fan), is lazy and ignorant, hasn't learned another language and won't bother to do it, and knows her diva behaviour wouldn't be tolerated in France or Spain. The locals wouldn't put up with her tantrums and she wouldn't get vegan dog food and tofu in the village shop
Her company Liz Jones Goddess Ltd isn’t in any great shape either? Nic Bebb seems to have abdicated any role as PSC( person of significant control) as the pandemic hit. She’s less than 15K at bank with creditors?
There’s a downturn of clear profit over 4/5 years and absolutely no capital or continuous turnover that she could raise a mortgage against?
She is imploding financially as well as psychologically these days.Compare her present state to the Nirpal years.. she did indeed have a following and a regular readership back then. At the moment, IMHO it’s unlikely to get better? Her delusions about her own appearance, talent and actual meaning in the world are off scale of late. The ‘Liz Moans’revival is proof that she still believes she has a divine right to confer censure on others. The Jim Kerr Fiction is waaaaay out of control. If I was Nic, this is when I’d jump ship. It’s about to get a lot worse.
The main business of her company is ‘Artistic Creation!!!!
Here’s one of many snapshots in public domain.
www.companiesintheuk.co.uk
There’s a downturn of clear profit over 4/5 years and absolutely no capital or continuous turnover that she could raise a mortgage against?
She is imploding financially as well as psychologically these days.Compare her present state to the Nirpal years.. she did indeed have a following and a regular readership back then. At the moment, IMHO it’s unlikely to get better? Her delusions about her own appearance, talent and actual meaning in the world are off scale of late. The ‘Liz Moans’revival is proof that she still believes she has a divine right to confer censure on others. The Jim Kerr Fiction is waaaaay out of control. If I was Nic, this is when I’d jump ship. It’s about to get a lot worse.
The main business of her company is ‘Artistic Creation!!!!
Here’s one of many snapshots in public domain.
LIZ JONES GODDESS LIMITED, BS40 5SA : Companies House Number 09897095
LIZ JONES GODDESS LIMITED England - 2022 Cash at bank £27,364 (2021: £30,923), Director ELIZABETH JONES. Location, revenue, industry and full financial details
Hmm..not sure about that, she is not known for thinking things through, though she may well have hidden assets, these will be squandered in the usual way of beauty treatments (lol) expensive clothes, mini breaks, that add nothing to her worth, nor make her look or seem like a better person, then it will be the usual disappointment that , when her magical dreams do not manifest, that it is because no one seems to understand her, no one values her, why Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???? just go duck off!
Hmm... but any treatment she quotes will have been foc.
Don't get me wrong, she's plainly a twit with cash, but she also *thinks* she's very clever (hence the non-disclosure of so many assets to HMRC during her bankruptcy) but is actually thick as pigskin (getting Bebb to flog stuff on her eBay account).
She is quite dim and getting dimmer...
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