Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!

[Origen]

I am literally amazed. She has just fabricated a story about shitting herself.. there is low, there is last rung on the limbo pole low and then there is crawl on your belly like a snake low.. like Jonesie.
So she decided to leave him there in the restaurant, with the wafting ‘smell’ and head for the shower.
Last time(9 years ago)the excuse was that he shagged a young woman in her flat? That ended the fiction. Today it’s simply that she tit all over herself and has had to flee from him… perhaps he will never phone again?
I hoped she doused her nethers in the aforementioned Surgical Spirit!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Podcast this week also included Nic talking at length about her experiences of abuse and sexual assault - by a different man this time. It was very sad and very honest, as usual not a word of sympathy from Liz. I applaud Nic for being so open about these experiences, but is a podcast where Liz is cackling over shitting herself really the right platform for this?

 

[shushablay]

In the podcast she claims she wiped it with a napkin and left it there for someone else to clean. So apparently the FRS didn't see or smell that, yet she still lingered by the lavender on the way home

was that not the time the dog shat everywhere and she used one of their napkins to clean it up and couldn't understand why the staff were annoyed? But yeah would not shock me if she did the same

 

[Origen]

Her responses to ‘the accident’ don’t ring true either. Wouldn’t she have backed off to the loo and availed herself of running water and some tissue/ toilet paper! How bizarre.

Podcast this week also included Nic talking at length about her experiences of abuse and sexual assault - by a different man this time. It was very sad and very honest, as usual not a word of sympathy from Liz. I applaud Nic for being so open about these experiences, but is a podcast where Liz is cackling over shitting herself really the right platform for this?

Agree completely. It’s sad for sure but a podcast billed as hilarious( not )isn’t the best place to air this, especially sitting across from the Empathy Vacuum.

 

[House of Tea]

Aside from the shitting herself, she is absolutely obsessed with being seen as young. It is the very pinnacle of achievements for her. I would put not shutting myself in a restaurant before that. Except…

….she didn’t tit herself, there is no RS, she doesn’t look young.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Agree completely. It’s sad for sure but a podcast billed as hilarious( not )isn’t the best place to air this, especially sitting across from the Empathy Vacuum.

There are no "content warnings" on the podcast either. I get it, it's the Mail and they hate all that nasty snowflake stuff (etc) but I can imagine that, at the very least, if someone's had a traumatic experience similar to Nic's the last thing you want is to hear the subject come up out of nowhere

 

[Origen]

Aside from the shitting herself, she is absolutely obsessed with being seen as young. It is the very pinnacle of achievements for her. I would put not shutting myself in a restaurant before that. Except…

….she didn’t tit herself, there is no RS, she doesn’t look young.

She must live in a house with no mirrors!
The bit about wearing a product on the beach to religiously save her hair from the sun??
Her hair looks deep fat fried to a cinder!

 

[Mediastar]

In the podcast she claims she wiped it with a napkin and left it there for someone else to clean. So apparently the FRS didn't see or smell that, yet she still lingered by the lavender on the way home

Wiped *what* with a napkin???!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Wiped *what* with a napkin???!

The tit. It's exactly what Carrie Bradshaw would do! And Miranda Priestly!

 

[Jumbojet1251]

Wiped *what* with a napkin???!

A linen napkin no less! No disposable “runny poo” clean up for Jonesy! I just hope the place chucked it in the bin and not the washer.

 

[sunshine13]

So she sat there in her sh***y Myla thong; he didn't notice the smell; nor did anyone else - then, just in case, we, the poor readers, didn't understand, she makes it clear in the last few lines. Sheer fiction Liz - or have you ordered one of your minions to just cobble a word salad together? Sometime ago, someone on here wondered if a group of junior staff get together every week to make up this drivel - I'm increasingly thinking that this is just what is happening.

I am literally amazed. She has just fabricated a story about shitting herself.. there is low, there is last rung on the limbo pole low and then there is crawl on your belly like a snake low.. like Jonesie.
So she decided to leave him there in the restaurant, with the wafting ‘smell’ and head for the shower.
Last time(9 years ago)the excuse was that he shagged a young woman in her flat? That ended the fiction. Today it’s simply that she tit all over herself and has had to flee from him… perhaps he will never phone again?
I hoped she doused her nethers in the aforementioned Surgical Spirit!

I dread to think what state that Myla thong must be in now!

This really is a new low. I have a very elderly friend who has a bowel disorder. This is not funny. Anyone with any respect would be embarrassed, not write about it for public consumption. As Origen said - a new low, even for her. That's if it's actually true, of course.

 

[shushablay]

She probably thought that by using an embarrassing scenario that would somehow make the FRS real, in the way of, look I'm admitting to shitting myself, why would I do that if I wasn't actually with the rock star.

Unfortunately though she even makes this scenario implausible, so no, it didn't happen. I'm going to have to read it again now that I've read other people's slant on it, I think my brain must have blanked out, as I'm not really sure of the sequence of events after the gurgling. Did the FRS go home with her? Did he just drive away? ok I know that it's all hypothetical as there is no FRS, but not really sure of what she is trying to tell us allegedly happened

ok now I have just soiled my eyes and brain by reading it again, it is online but in the you mag format so definitely no comments. She didn't use a napkin to clean herself, she was referring to the time that gracie did a runny poo in the bar, she makes no mention of doing anything after the "accident" apart from hanging back and standing by the lavender? The FRS decides not to go back to hers, after jug ears tells him he needs to wear a disguise, then she gets home, showers and puts her clothes in the washing machine..the end

What a load of (literal) crap

 

[Origen]

She probably thought that by using an embarrassing scenario that would somehow make the FRS real, in the way of, look I'm admitting to shitting myself, why would I do that if I wasn't actually with the rock star.

Unfortunately though she even makes this scenario implausible, so no, it didn't happen. I'm going to have to read it again now that I've read other people's slant on it, I think my brain must have blanked out, as I'm not really sure of the sequence of events after the gurgling. Did the FRS go home with her? Did he just drive away? ok I know that it's all hypothetical as there is no FRS, but not really sure of what she is trying to tell us allegedly happened

ok now I have just soiled my eyes and brain by reading it again, it is online but in the you mag format so definitely no comments. She didn't use a napkin to clean herself, she was referring to the time that gracie did a runny poo in the bar, she makes no mention of doing anything after the "accident" apart from hanging back and standing by the lavender? The FRS decides not to go back to hers, after jug ears tells him he needs to wear a disguise, then she gets home, showers and puts her clothes in the washing machine..the end

What a load of (literal) crap

Yeah.. the elusive FRS doesn’t go back. Given that he only exists in the 1985 videos she plays on a loop. No one has ever seen him, the comment about her nosy neighbours and him wearing disguises confirms he’s a mere figment.
She may well have tit herself but she was possibly alone in a field surrounded by horses poo at the time, shovel in hand.
Would anyone covered in their own leaking tit, get in their car and drive probably thirty miles home? She really is an unhygienic beast( even to make up a story like that!)

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

She probably thought that by using an embarrassing scenario that would somehow make the FRS real, in the way of, look I'm admitting to shitting myself, why would I do that if I wasn't actually with the rock star.

Unfortunately though she even makes this scenario implausible, so no, it didn't happen. I'm going to have to read it again now that I've read other people's slant on it, I think my brain must have blanked out, as I'm not really sure of the sequence of events after the gurgling. Did the FRS go home with her? Did he just drive away? ok I know that it's all hypothetical as there is no FRS, but not really sure of what she is trying to tell us allegedly happened

ok now I have just soiled my eyes and brain by reading it again, it is online but in the you mag format so definitely no comments. She didn't use a napkin to clean herself, she was referring to the time that gracie did a runny poo in the bar, she makes no mention of doing anything after the "accident" apart from hanging back and standing by the lavender? The FRS decides not to go back to hers, after jug ears tells him he needs to wear a disguise, then she gets home, showers and puts her clothes in the washing machine..the end

What a load of (literal) crap

The napkin was mentioned in the podcast, I think (?) she referred to wiping the chair with it but I'll listen again. Doesn't appear to be on the main Mail site yet, you know you've hit a low when you're SO tit they won't publish you

 

[shushablay]

yes your recaps of the podcast give the column further information, totally understand you being too busy with wedding prep to do it this now, but in the diary piece she makes no mention of what happens after she shits herself in the restaurant..can't actually believe I'm typing that line, whilst discussing a column in a Sunday newspaper..really dreadful.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

She and Nic were laughing their (tit-smeared) arses off at the idea of someone on minimum wage having to clean up Liz's tit, it's so gross! It bothers me that Nic is used to poorly paid service work herself yet she encourages Liz to treat service staff badly and thinks it's funny. In this case Liz most likely didn't tit in a restaurant but Nic is always gushing about her "Miranda Priestly Moments"

 

[Origen]

She and Nic were laughing their (tit-smeared) arses off at the idea of someone on minimum wage having to clean up Liz's tit, it's so gross! It bothers me that Nic is used to poorly paid service work herself yet she encourages Liz to treat service staff badly and thinks it's funny. In this case Liz most likely didn't tit in a restaurant but Nic is always gushing about her "Miranda Priestly Moments"

Horrible indeed. Sorry to be technical here but if it actually hit the seat we’re talking about maximum offload
I do have a prediction. That’s the FRS fairytale ended. Next week she’ll say he hasn’t called cos he was too grossed out by her shitting article. He’s now in the LJ ether, along with Australian Nige and Russell the tour guide?
She may now act poorly and as if age has finally come upon her.. trying to get old Scracie back with his dicky arteries so they can ‘Grow old together’.
It’s an act of course. She has age dysphoria and still thinks she’s late thirties/ early forties.
Witchy, you must be sooo busy but any chance as VIP you can start a new thread?
I’ve no pref for title except a mention of the gross bodily functions she’s inflicted on us of late? Hope all wedding prep going well!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

New thread! Thank you https://tattle.life/threads/liz-jon...ung-but-then-she-soiled-her-myla-thong.32202/