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  1. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #101 Flakey Fakey's still workshy, he kissed the boys & made Flapz cry!

    Congratulations to @bluecups for our new thread title! You win Flapz's dirty old white trainers that she's selling for a tenner! After celebrating our 100th thread with our favourite moments, it was business as usual! There were yet more dance reels, the brother got dug up yet again and Flapz...
  2. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #100 1 Million Followers, 100 Threads, 1% Engagement & 0% Likeability!

    A huge congratulations to @JazzFan , @Cleopops and @Hayze2384 who all contributed to our new 100th thread title! This is indeed a momentous day for the Fakeys as we have reached our 100th thread! πŸ₯‚πŸΎπŸ₯‚ We started the last thread still in Bournemouth where we saw a blurry Michael Jackson...
  3. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #99 He's got 99 problems but a job isn't one!

    A huge congratulations to @plonkington for our new thread title! You have won the dry chicken that was cooked whilst Zelda and DoorMatt were staying at Quickenden Towers!! The results of our poll are in. Nurse Ratchett will collect the crazy 5 at 7:30pm for admission into a secure unit...
  4. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #98 Jake Chickenden

    A huge congratulations to @Lico for our new thread title! You win a barely roasted chicken that is as dry as Squidward's tuna canoe! We started the previous thread with Sicknote turning up for the last two shows at Glasgow and Squidward still in America. Ratboy started playing on his "bad...
  5. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #97 Pervy Quickenden, the Scunthorpe Schofield.

    A huge congratulations to @Philimena cunk for our new thread title. You win a new travel pillow as advertised by Flapz! Hoorah!! πŸ˜‚ On the 10th February he posted a photo of himself on the floor and saying he felt ill. πŸ™„ We've seen yet more cooking from him leading us to speculate...
  6. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #96 Hello, I'd like to file for a divorce please. My husband is a gayboi cock tease! 🌈

    A huge congratulations to @ShowMeThe Money for our new thread title! You win a stick of Sarfend's finest cock, I mean rock!! 🌈 It was a belter that previous thread - full of 🌈, made-up stories that never happened and much speculation about Celebrity Masterchef! A homeless Ian Beale even made...
  7. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #95 A backstage smooch may be Fakey's big outing! Cue more of Flapz's lip-blushed pouting

    A huge congratulations to @Sarivng2022 for our new thread title!! It was actually a tie-breaker but yours is the oldest! Well done! 😘 So much happened in the previous thread that I can only refer you to Wiki 8 in case I miss anything out but I'll do a quick recap! We had a huge tea...
  8. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #94 Fakey will forever be Tattle's puppet as well as a manic, syrup-wearing muppet!

    A huge congratulations to @fredstar2018 for our new thread title! You win Fakey's hideous pink ski suit and a box of protein bars as advertised on the ski slopes! ❄❄ We started the previous thread off with the budget adults-only skiing trip where we had topless skiing, a protein bar advert...
  9. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #93 From dying follicles to healthy testicles, Fakey's life just gets more unethical!

    A huge congratulations to @ShowMeThe Money for our new thread title! You win a cup of vodka from Gail and seven skincare products to use in one night and an LED mask to be like Flapz! 😘 A full recap of the last thread can be found in Wiki 7 and it's been quite eventful to say the least...
  10. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #92 The 80's toreador & swinging coke jaw. So stuck in the closet he can't find the door

    Thanks for voting for my thread title which was inspired by his Christmas night out with Off Limits and his contractual fwend Chris Hughes! He wore the most embarrassing outfit and was clearly off his chops! ❄️❄️ A full recap can be found in our Wiki which is nearly up-to-date. The grifters...
  11. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #91 Presenter, singer, artist, minger!

    A huge congratulations to @Cleopops for our new thread title! 😘 A full recap can be found in the latest Wiki but things have really reached rock bottom as yesterday he was being an "artist" in a Pet Portrait Masterclass and playing with puppies! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ He is literally morphing into Eoin McLove...
  12. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #90 Fakey's sad life, pizza-faced wife, potato for a son and a bigot for a mum.

    A huge congratulations to our @bluecups for our brilliant thread title! 😘 Well, what can I say. The grifting is getting out-of-control and is seriously angering the Fakeys now. We had Flapz talking about her stress alopecia and after numerous skin treatments, still has a pizza face! We also...
  13. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #89 Slurring his words, once again pissed & getting the fight time tattoed on his wrist!

    Thanks guyyyss for your votes on my thread title suggestion! 😘 At the start of the last thread, Flapz had yet another skin treatment which failed miserably and she put their "quatz-like" damaged dining table up for sale on Facebook Marketplace for a whopping Β£800! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ We had the unveiling of...
  14. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #88 Paul's the WINNER with his fight purse donation. RatBoy's hated by all of the nation!

    Thank you guyyys for your votes for my thread title suggestion! 😘 The previous thread went quicker than the actual fixed fight! After all of the suspense and the Fakeys being more excited than on Christmas morning at the thought of him finally having his syrup knocked off, we were let down...
  15. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #87 Zelda's selling up, Spud's had a trim. Will Sicknote make fight night & get done in?

    A huge congratulations to @Sarivng2022 for our new thread title, shortened to fit! 😘 As mentioned in the title, Zelda and DoorMatt have unexpectedly put their house up for sale. Has DoorMatt got a younger model and wants to run away finally from the old witch? πŸ‘ Spud finally got a hair cut...
  16. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #86 Flapz Akimbo; he's a Dimbo, Maris is in Limbo.

    A huge congratulations to @VC10 for our new thread title! 😘 In the last thread it was pretty much the same old, same old. Flapz is still selling everything that isn't nailed down and Fakey's attention seeking is manic! He appeared on Steph's Packed Lunch and gave the show his 'kiss of death'...
  17. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #85 What's that Spud, John has fallen in the well?!

    A huge congratulations to @Bobby Orange for our new thread title put forward by @Livia Fantasy. 😘 We absolutely flew through the last thread and the Fakeys received a Bingo! Yes, he threw a sickie! He miraculously recovered from the 'flu' and a 'chest infection', yeah right Sicknote, 🀑 and...
  18. plattyjoobs

    Jake Quickenden #84 No POB red carpet for these no marks, so skint they have to get dressed in car parks

    Perfect new thread title courtesy of @Sarivng2022: Old thread:https://tattle.life/threads/jake-quickenden-83-our-jake-the-hardest-working-man-in-showbiz.41913/ Well, what a day it’s been! Jake and Sophie guest went to the Pride of Britain awards and gave the Fakeys an early Christmas present...
  19. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #83 Our Jake, the hardest working man in showbiz! 🀑

    A huge congratulations to @Cleopops for our new thread title! 😘 Fakey has started The Full Monty Show now and absolutely loving being away from the old 'ball and chain" and the kids. Meanwhile, Flapz is putting everything up for sale on Vinted and Facebook Marketplace apart from the kitchen...
  20. plattyjoobs

    Jake Quickenden #82 Veiny sweaty wiggy piece of gristle, his 'career' is going down like a guided missile

    Congratulations to @ShowMeThe Money for thw fab thread title, there’s some Full Monty tickets coming your way! Old thread: https://tattle.life/threads/jake-quickenden-81-fakey-is-a-donkey-that-nobody-admired-permanently-injured-and-always-oh-so-tired.41575/ So Fakey is now on tour and has been...
  21. plattyjoobs

    Jake Quickenden #81 Fakey is a donkey that nobody admired, permanently injured and always oh so tired

    Thread title courtesy of @ChastityDingle, nominated by @Heneghs. We’ll await @CrazyBaldhead’s usual catch up, in the meantime I’ve popped a poll up for how long we think we’ll make it on the tour before he has a sick day. Carry on Fakeys! Old...
  22. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #80 Working 9-5 what a way to make a living!

    A big shout out to @Shesaidwhat? for our new thread title! 😘 The Fakey's mark this 80th thread by celebrating Beppe di Ickenden's 80th Birthday, the wrinkly old ring piece!! Hip Hip Hooray!! 🍻🍻🍻🍻 ❄️❄️❄️❄️ 🍷🍷🍷🍷 As we all keep being reminded, he's been WORKING! Yes, WORKING! It now looks...
  23. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #79 Face like a scrotum, hair's an iced gem, how long until he mentions the dead again?

    A huge congratulations to @Sarivng2022 for our new thread title and @redball00n for the iced gem reference! Title shortened to fit! 😘 Flapz and the boys went off to the USA to visit her sister leaving Beppe di Ickenden home alone again! The Full Monty rehearsals started but things have gone...
  24. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #78 Jake ICKenden!

    A huge congratulations to our @plattyjoobs for our new thread title. Short, sweet and to the point! 😘 A recap of the previous thread can be found in Wiki 3. Carry on Fakeys! πŸ˜… Previous thread...
  25. CrazyBaldhead

    Jake Quickenden #77 Pig in a wig, thing with a ring, can't act, can't present, can't even sing!

    A massive congratulations to @trine for this hilarious thread title!!! 😘 Since his 'secret' stint as RaRa, work has dried up. They are absolutely skint! πŸ’― Full recap can be found in the Wiki. These two jokers are heading for bankruptcy! Fakey is trading in his car for a cheaper vehicle and...